Susi's Somewhat Zen Ramblings

A is for Adventure...and Arse.

2012-01-22T20:09:00.000-08:00

"To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing." ~ Author Unknown

Today I went on a trail run. I met up with a couple of friends and off we went. We were running up the Canyon, which is one of my most favourite routes. I used to run this route all the time before my surgery and today would be the first time in a year that I would give it a go.

I knew it would be a challenge even though I've been hitting the trails more and more. It didn't help that my back has been acting up. But oh, how I so longed to run along this trail. It's brilliant. Lots of up, roots, rocks, trees, the sound of the river. It's brilliant. So I took a risk and went.

Things didn't quite go as I had hoped. I knew I would be slow, but I wasn't prepared for the fact that my lungs didn't like all the up and stairs as much as I do. Then there was the ice. It had warmed up and been raining for the past day or so, but it didn't wash away the ice within the trees. Within a few meters of the trailhead my feet went ahead of me, at the same time, and without my consent.

It was quite an interesting fall - I could feel both feet, and of course my legs, start to slide forward. I don't think my feet actually left the ground. Of course gravity was pulling everything down so the next thing to move towards the earth was my arse. For some reason I put my hands down. I am so very thankful I've been strengthening my wrists in yoga! I managed for them to hit first, then my arse hit. It was sort of a slow motion start then a quick thud finish. Aiyaaa.

My first thought was my back. It didn't seem to be in worse shape than it had been when I started. Phew. Needless to say I was more watchful of the ice! There were a lot of spots we had to walk, which was a relief because it allowed my lungs to have a break. This whole breathing and need for oxygen thing can be rather frustrating at times!

When almost at the top I sent my friends on and bid them adieu. There was less ice and I knew I was holding them up so it was time to part ways. I headed back over the suspension bridge and started my run home. It was about then that I could feel my back start to seize up. Then I got a stitch in my front side. This was getting ridiculous.

As I hobble ran I started to think about the whole trail running thing. I love it. It is my happy place. Even though I didn't have the run I had hoped for, and I was a bit of a hurting unit from the fall, and I am sure I had mud on my face after wiping the dirt off my butt, then wiping something off my face....I was still happy to be out there.

I thought to myself, every run is an adventure. Then I started to think about what each letter could spell out. This kept me distracted from my slowly stiffening back for the last part of the run...

A = Arse, it's a wonderful cushion.
D = Doggies!! they love being on the trails and I love stopping and giving them a wee scritch.
V = Victorious, no matter how you get through the run, you will always be victorious.
E = Euphoria, the feeling you get from being in nature.
N = Nickers, no need to get your nickers in a knot if you stumble, walk, or have a snot rocket go wild!
T = Trees! Trees! and More Trees!
U = Ultimate, fun, excitement, rush, thrill, challenge, adventure.
R = Roots, rocks, and so many other fun things to hop and run over.
E = Excitement, especially after running a challenging part, and getting up all the stairs without stopping.

So I didn't have the run I had hoped for. It's all good. I now have a new goal - to get back to the state where I was before my surgery that allowed me to run this route! Oh, and to run up ALL the stairs!! Woot!

Peace out my lovelies...

What A Girl Wants...

2011-08-21T16:03:00.000-07:00

"I believe that the very purpose of our life is to seek happiness. That is clear. Whether one believes in religion or not, whether one believes in this religion, or that religion, we all are seeking something better in life. So, I think, the very motion of our life is towards happiness..." ~ H.H. Dalai Lama

I've been on a quest for some time now. The quest for inner peace. That quest has taken me on some very interesting journey's. Although I have obtained a certain amount of inner peace, and I have learned many things about myself, the quest continues. Not that that should be a shock. Of course the quest continues - there is so much to learn!

Lately, I have come to the realization that I have no idea how to relax. Wait. That's a lie. I have known for sometime that I don't know how to relax, but I THOUGHT I had figured it all out. Definitely, when I had a daily meditation practice, I was much calmer. A new job with a long commute seemed to put an end to that practice and since then I have kept saying I need to get it back.

A recent surgery and recovery period brought to light, once again, that I still haven't mastered the art of 'just being'. The lack of a daily meditation practice certainly contributed to the realization. Still, it was a hard pill to swallow. These things tend to come to light when you spend three weeks mostly horizontal. As my body had nothing to do but heal, my mind took over in the 'keep busy' department.

Since this re-discovery, as shall we call it, I have tripped along trying to find ways to be more calm. To reach that place of peace that I felt I once had. Perhaps if I can obtain that place once again, I may actually be able to sleep. See, for me, one of the downsides of not relaxing, or having inner peace, is that I don't get a good nights sleep. Sure, I may appear to be sleeping, but really I am in that upper layer of sleep where even a bugs sneeze can awaken me. I dream a lot too, which leads to waking up exhausted because I have been so busy in my sleep.

Part of the problem is I am a planner. This can be a good quality and it can be a bad quality. An example if you will - I am about to merge homes with my partner, M. This will entail a move of my belongings from my current rental to a new rental a couple of blocks away, and his move from a city four hours away. Phew. Can you imagine how my mind is working like a gerbil on a wheel?? Sleep?Ha, not until the move I am sure! (At which point my mind will find something else to glom onto.)

So the good quality of being a planner in a situation like this is I have formulated move times, gathered gracious friends to help, called the utilities, organized moving van, taken measurements of the new place, secured storage for extra items that won't fit and have, and, in my mind, determined where all of our merged items will go in the new place.

The bad quality of being a planner, all of the above has been done in advance of required and has reduced my sleep ability to almost non existent. A lot of this planning, aside from calling around, has been done in my head as I sleep, or eat, or sit, etc.

To those who know me this whole planning thing will be of no surprise. What may surprise them is I wish I didn't do this! Okay, I do like having a plan. But I really don't want to be thinking like this ALL THE TIME. I want quiet in my head. I want to sleep like a kitten in your lap. I want to stop the monkey brain! You'd think it would be easy just to shut it off!

And of course what has helped, in the past, with this quieting of the monkeys? Sitting meditation. So why am I not doing it? I don't know.

Perhaps it's because I am spending my time trying to find relaxing things to do. As I write that I am giggling to myself. I am sure there is an oxymoron in there. I have come to the realization that I want too many things. I want it all. I want to be fit and healthy so I used to run and participate in triathlon. Then when I moved here I hit the trails hiking and running. All until an unexpected trip to the emergency room, (aren't they all unexpected??) turned my life around. I spent four months pretty much doing nothing except being frustrated at not being able to do anything physical.

Now that i can do something physical, I have decided to take up yoga again. I figure this would be one way that I could tap into the meditation I love so much, but also to get my body started back on the path to total wellness. In addition to this, I have started hiking again. I am waffling on getting back into running, but seeing as I would like to start barefoot running, I have decided this is as good a time as any. Mainly because I will have to go back to square one of running.

In addition to this, I am learning more about food and it's relationship to health and the environment. Which means reading a vast array of books on veganism and raw foods. I've also signed up for a raw food chef class. Again this is part of the total wellness quest.

Then there are all the other things I love to do: being with M, kayaking, swimming, riding my Harley, visiting with friends, seeing family, volunteering, exploring, reading, writing, knitting, sitting....

Are you starting to see a pattern here?

I want to do everything and yet I want to relax. How to fit it all in, without the aid of winning the lottery so I don't have to work full time ergo I would have more spare time??

That I will have to discover I guess... Today I made an honest effort to relax. I drank tea in bed and read. At least till 8 am. I read in my livingroom after that. I did make some buckwheat crispies in the dehydrator and started the tomato wraps going, but that was pretty relaxing. The dehydrator does all the work. And I sat and read in between that. Oh, and I attempted a nap! I managed to stay horizontal for 30 minutes...too bad I didn't fall asleep. My mind was busy with the thought of whether or not I should put together the new IKEA dresser I got. I looked at the box. I put the box flat on the floor. Then I said to myself, 'Susi, just walk away. Leave it be....' Likely a good thing as M said he wanted to do it. He is a blessing to me!!

Okay, so maybe it wasn't a total relaxation day, but it was a start. Every new day is a start come to think of it.

As I write this I see my meditation cushion and it's calling to me. Perhaps I will go have a good sit. That sounds pretty relaxing....

Peace out my lovelies...

What A Long, Strange Trip...

2011-05-15T17:35:00.000-07:00

"Lately it occurs to me what a long, strange trip it's been." ~ Grateful Dead

Well now that was an intersting little journey. The past eight weeks that is. The journey will continue, of course, but hopefully with less drama. And pain.

I had certain expectations of my time off after surgery. I was going to knit, catch up on reading (technical reading even), and learn the German language. What I spent most of the time doing was hanging on for dear life the positive attitude that I thought would get me through anything and everything. I did learn a lot from this experience - the biggest lessons being that I don't know how to relax and that a positive attitude can be harder to hang on to than one thinks...

The beginning of all this started with the emergency hopsital visit and the subsequent surgery. Things looked bright just before I went under the knife. My surgeon, bless him over and over again, was going to proceed with the surgery in a way that was going to be difficult for him, because of the size of the fibroid and utereus, but in the long run would be good for me and my active lifestyle. I will forever be grateful for him putting his patients needs first!

As I am still breathing, it is obvious the surgery went well; however as they were wheeling me out of the surgery room, or somewhere, the first challenge hit - a severe asthma attack. I was just coming out of my drug induced fog so I have no idea how I got into the seated position, but I do know that I couldn't take a breath without some rattling happening in my lungs, non stop coughing, and severe pain in my abdomen where I had just had my girly bits removed. Coughing was really something I didn't want to do for a long time, and this type was especially painful. I think they put oxygen on me or something, but finally it the attack was calmed. I rememeber my doctor looking at me with very wide eyes. I must say, this was not comforting.

It turns out my exercise induced asthma can also be triggered by stress and, as I was told after, I will have to be careful about this from now on because of the severity of this attack. Ugh.

The week in the hospital was the worst part of this whole journey. First the attack, then air bubbles in my I.V. tube and a nurse who said 'Oh don't worry it won't hurt you!' It took me having a complete 'insane patient' crying, yelling, and if I could have moved I would have been jumping up and down meltdown to get her to take the IV out of me. I'm sure any medical people reading this may say, 'Ah, it was nothing to worry about really.' However, I was terrified like I had never been in my life and when the I.V. machine kept alarming even with her telling me not to worry - it was time to have the meltdown. I'm sure it didn't help that I was coming off my morphine induced coma.

Speaking of the morphine, it turns out I get one of the side effects - itchiness. Seriously, having itching on your legs when you can't move because your abdomen is all stiched up and you have inflatable compression thingys on them making you sweat is like slow torture.

I must say one thing about morphine though. Apparantly even though I felt completely out of it, to the point that it seemed like my eyes would roll backwards into my head everytime I tried to open them, I was told I appeared coherent. I recall my parents being in the room, and Julie calling on my Dad's mobile and me talking to her; however, I do not recall helping my parents plan their move and explaining what should be done, nor do I remember my conversation with Julie, which she had to remind me of. Very interesting.... The parental unit told me later that I appeared to know what I was talking about...hmmm....I actually still have no idea what I said to them! Giggle. At least it seems everything I suggested worked out!

I did manage to have some fun while in the hospital. Part of the recovery was to try and walk. Oh how easy that sounds. Afterall, I had been walking for at least 40 years now! Alas, there was the pain factor. I must say, all that Ironman training came in handy when dealing with the pain factor. I was now off the morphine so really had to rely on just breathing. Deeply. I tried to walk around the ward, but part way through I would want to keel over. My Mom or Dad would be walking with me and being my support and could tell when I would start to restrict the blood flow in their arm that I was done walking.

Oh, right, the fun part. Well that was in the form of a little ol' dear that I would see walking past my hopsital room. She had a pretty good pace and I was determined to match it! I started with a mere shuffling of my froggy slippers. I kept scheming as to how I could get faster and beat her. In fact, my sole purpose was to leave her in my dust. None of my plans panned out however, and she left me in her dust.  And she lapped me. Oh the humiliation.... I still have thoughts of going back there, dressing up in hospital clothes and beating her! Assuming she is still there of course, which really, I hope she isn't.

After the stay at the hospital it was all about recovery at home. Home being wherever I was with my parents or Marco looking after me. The first few weeks I was with my folks while Marco finished his work up North. I want it written for the record that I really do have the best parents in the world. Now I know you may think you do, but I'm sorry, you don't. My folks win hands down because when the doctor and nurse told them I had to be treated like a Princess while I recovered, they did.   Well, at least until I felt well enough to be cheeky and say 'The Princess would like a cup of tea please...' That's when Mom gave me the finger and dad just laughed at me. Priceless!

After the stay with the parental unit, Marco took over 'Princess Duty' and did a wonderful job! He was my rock through this - as cheesy as that may sound! As you read on, you will understand that his job was not as easy as it may sound...

I will spare every little detail of the last eight weeks. Suffice it to say that my emotions would get the better of me most times, and I never know how much I treasured the ability to walk, heck just move on my own, so much! I hurt. A lot. I thought I could deal with the pain. Some days I could. I would be positive about it all and tell myself that this is all just short term stuff. Then I would set about whatever task it was I was trying to do, get out of bed, use the washroom, shower, and I would just take it one breath at a time. These tasks took double the usual amount of time, but I dealt with it.

Some days though, the pain got to me, the inability to walk got to me, the stress and guilt of having people look after me, Miss Independent, got to me, and that's when I would cry and have a wee pity party for myself. Mom, Dad and Marco were the witnesses to all of this.  Of course, I would get even more ticked when I would cry or feel negative. I saw some of the people in the hospital. I was lucky! This WAS a short period in my life and I would heal from it. Others aren't so lucky. The mind is a strange and powerful thing though and when I would get upset...I would get upset! Even though I knew I should stay positive about all the little accomplishments and all the good things that were happening.

I seemed to somehow place myself on some sort of healing schedule. I figured because I was young, relatively speaking, in good health and quite fit, that I should be running up and down stairs in no time. So when I still couldn't walk for more than a little while after 5 weeks, and it was only supposed to take 6 weeks healing, the frustration bubbled up. I was to see my doctor for my scheduled check up and as soon as I saw him he said those words that men should never say to a woman on the edge....'How are you doing?'

That's when I burst into tears. I mumbled incoherently about not being able to walk, the pain, not having paid sick time from work, cancelling vacation, blah blah blah.   Again I will point out how wonderful my doctor is. First off he explained the pain - it turns out that my ovary was adhered to my abdominal wall. So in addition to having my internal girly bits removed the doctor also had to try and detach this. It couldn't be totally detached, so they did what they could. This was causing me all the pain and why it felt like something it was tearing and burning on my right side when I would try and walk!

Next he said I needed to relax. Really relax. I made it my goal to do so for the next two weeks I was off on leave. I am happy to report, I think I have a better hang of relaxing then I did before. Granted, I still keep thinking, I need to knit! I need to study German! I need to read up on failure analysis techniques! I need to organize things! But I catch myself thinking that and say, I need to sit and have a cup of tea.

I am a firm believer that if you are open to it, you can learn lessons with every challenge or obstacle you are given. I learned a lot these last eight weeks. I hope I keep remembering them, but I know if I don't, the Universe will remind me some way. The biggest thing I hope to do is stay more positive in times of trouble. I really thought I would through all this, but it was harder than I expected! I have a new appreciation for, and truly admire, people who face unending illness or other challenges and who maintain a positive outlook.

Thankfully, I have the most amazing support from my family and friends!!! They helped me discover that laughter truly is the best medicine, and that it's okay to lean on others. Every day I give thanks for all of you and mentally shower you with peace, love and hugs!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

Now it's on to baby steps in getting back to my 'normal' life. Tomorrow is my first day back at work. I will also attempt to get back into the gym. I promise, I will go SLOW. Oh, and there is swimming... And of course making sure I continue to RELAX! Granted, that wasn't part of my 'normal' life before, but will be from now on. I can see now how much I need it.

Peace out my lovely friends and may you continue to be blessed with good health!

The Best Laid Plans...

2011-03-28T16:04:00.000-07:00

"The best laid schemes of mice and men, oft go awry." ~ Robert Burns

Well after the last post you may, or may not, be wondering how training is going. Well as the saying above indicates, things didn't quite go as planned.

To be honest, I wondered if I would blog about this, because it's quite personal. But hey, I've blogged about getting a colonoscopy and a colposcopy, so why not what's going on now?! Besides, I'm hoping this may help someone out there.

I had planned to train for the race. In fact, I was getting pretty excited about my training program. Then I was struck with some migraines. So I followed the advice of my acupuncturist and put my training off for a week or so. The race was far enough away that I wasn't worried.

It was Friday, a couple of weeks ago and I was driving out to the parental units home. Training was to start next Monday, but before that I wanted to help them prepare for the big house move. I felt totally normal that day, but for some reason when I was about 20 minutes from their place I started to feel some pain low down in my abdomen. It felt like menstrual cramps, but I wasn't expecting anything for a week and a bit. So then I thought, huh, maybe my seatbelt is bugging me? As the pain increased I thought maybe I have to use the loo??

I called my Mom and asked if her and Dad wanted to meet me outside their place and I'd drive them to dinner. By now I thought maybe I was just hungry for dinner. Really hungry. The pains were intensifying. We got to the restaurant, a sushi place of course, but it was really busy so I suggested we do take away. By now I wasn't sure if I would be able to stand for a while. The wait was going to be about 20 minutes so we left Dad there and we walked over to the grocery store to pick up dessert.

In the store I started to feel nauseous. And clammy. And dizzy. Then the pain went up a notch. I said to Mom that something wasn't right and I was going to sit back in the car till Dad got the food. We finally got our dinner and I drove the folks back home, by now having my breathe sucked in now and then because of these shots of pain going through my abdomen. Thankfully it was a really short drive to the house. When we walked in I folded over and headed to the couch. Mom said I should maybe lay down upstairs so I crawled up there.

I was starting to get scared. I have a really high tolerance for pain. Mom knows this. So when she came to check on me a few minutes after I went upstairs and found my crying and curled in the fetal position, her worry level went up a few notches. She called one of her friends, who is a retired nurse, that lives down the street. She knew the I was in good health and told my Mom to get me in the car and to swing by and pick her up...we were off to the hospital.

I sat in the waiting room for about 4 hours - not bad considering. I was folded in half in the chair most of that time. The only thing that stifled my crying was hearing a very high pitched, hysterical male voice say 'I need help NOW! I just had surgery yesterday and I have blown a stitch, my testicle is bleeding!! I am bleeding like a stuck pig! You need to get me a doctor NOW!!!'

Sorry boys, but I couldn't help but laugh. It was the level of hysterics in his voice that got me. I looked up at my mom, I was still folded in half at this point, and said, 'I bet he is in and out of here within the hour. Heaven forbid we ignore a bleeding testicle...'. She and her friend were also giggling at this point. Let's face it, all the women were. Heck, I had stabbing pains that sucked my breath in and had me in tears, but I still managed to keep my voice low as I gave my information. For the record, he was in and out of there within an hour. He, and his girlfriend that had accompanied him and who was also yelling, were in a much calmer state. Although his track pants had a much larger 'package' in the front. Ice pack??

But back to the story at hand. I was admitted into the emergency room about midnight. The doctor said he suspected appendicitis and told my Mom that I would be there all night. I sent her and her friend home. No need for them not to get some sleep.

I somehow lucked out and had my own room in the emergency. I'm sure I wasn't being whiny, but for some reason I got the 'baby room'. Hmmm, did this mean I was a big baby, or is that just the room?? It's a small hospital so they didn't have a lot of beds in emergency, so I'll go with the fact that I just lucked out and got that room because they had no other areas for me. My room had some very funky paintings on the wall....a googly eyed giraffe that stared down at me all night. And a bright purple hippopotamus that I loved.

This little guy watched over me during the night.

My purple hippopotamus, and lovely IV bag.

I was given a hospital gown that, of course, did not cover the back end, some fanatastically heated flannel blankets, an IV and a shot of morphine, then pretty much left alone after the Doc made his initial diagnosis. The morphine didn't help, but being able to lie down as heavenly.

At about 2:30 am I was wheeled down the hall to get a CT scan. Okay, here we go. Maybe my appendix is ready to go? Still, the pain seemed lower down then that. My suspicions were confirmed at about 3:30 am. It's a good thing I wasn't able to sleep that night cause I'd be ticked being woken up so often!

The doctor came in looking quite serious. He said to me, 'The good news is your appendix is fine.' Uhm, ok, then what the heck is going on?? Then he said, 'You have a fibroid in your uterus, and it's the size of a grapefruit.'

My mind started to work. I said 'Well, I was told about 14 years ago that I had a fibroid, but they told me it was something I didn't have to worry about.... Why is it so big? Why did it start to hurt so intensely out of the blue??' He explained that the fibroid had grown so big it was unable to get blood so it was bleeding into itself and that was what caused the pain. My first thought at this point was of the film 'Alien' and how that guy ended up having the spidery thing come out of him. Ugh. I focused on Mr. Giraffe at this point.

The doctor then asked me if I planned on having kids. I knew at this point that things were pretty serious and that this wasn't going to just go away. I explained that I wasn't planning on kids, that I loved my role as 'Favourite Auntie' to some of my friends kids. He said that I would be there till the morning and then the Ob/Gyn doctor would come in and talk to me. They weren't going to give me any food in case I got rushed into surgery. I hadn't eaten since 2:00 pm the day before so was really craving the sushi we got for take away.

The morning came and with it my Mom returned. My Dad was with my cousins helping clear some of the things out of the house. This is what I was supposed to be helping with and I felt guilty I wasn't there. About noon the Ob/Gyn came in. He said that I must have been important because they don't always do CT scans in the middle of the night. He'd reviewed my file and confirmed what the emergency room doctor said. Then he asked me about the kid thing. A few times.

He said although the fibroid had been there for some time, we didn't know when it chose to grow. And if had grown rapidly in the last while, that would be a bad sign. Another bad sign was that it was bleeding into itself and it needed to be removed. He said there were three options....the first two I through out immediately because a) the complications that could happen, b) the pain that would be incurred, and c) one didn't remove the fibroid but tried to shrink it.

That left the last option, a total hysterectomy. This would involve removing my uterus, cervix, and fallopian tubes. My ovaries would be left so I wouldn't be tossed into full blown menopause, which would have it's own complications. Because my uterus was the size of a woman's 4.5 months pregnant, they would have to go in through my abdomen. This is where I started to get scared.

How long would I need for recovery? Could I work out? I have a race? What about my job? He explained that I would need six weeks recovery, that I couldn't work out, and my race was not an option. My job he said, I would have to explain to my boss and he would provide a letter explaining things.

I was to see him the following week with my decision. Not that there was much to decide. I mean I friggin hurt - I had to do something. Not having kids wasn't a huge problem, but I did let it sink in that if for some strange reason I changed my mind, there would be no possibility. I was okay with that. The recovery period and my future ability to exercise was what scared me the most. For a period longer than six weeks I would have to be concerned about an incisional hernia, not to mention I may never be able to regain the core strength that I had worked so hard for. When would I be able to run again?? What about hiking? Snowshoeing? Ugh.

I went to visit the doctor the following week and discussed the surgery. I was booked into the hospital for surgery the following week. In between that time I started to make arrangements. I cancelled my race. I told my work. I made sure my diet was super clean so I could prepare my body for the trauma and healing that was to follow, I cried and was scared. The funny thing is I really couldn't pinpoint why I was so scared. Was it being 'put to sleep'? Having someone slice into me and removing bits and pieces of my body??

Last week I had the surgery, it was successful and I'm now in recovery mode. It's been a rough adjustment, but that's a story for another day.

Why I wanted to write about this is because I'm a healthy person, I'm a veggie girl who eats whole foods. I work out. I look after myself. I was told that I had a uterine fibroid and that it was nothing to worry about. That it may cause problems if I wanted to conceive, but that's all. I wasn't told to monitor it. I have had a few doctors over the years and I always went in for my annual physicals. No one said anything about it.

Within an hour I went from feeling peachy keen to being folded over, crying and dealing with severe pain. Within a day I would learn I had to have surgery to remove this thing and because it was so large, they would have to go through my abdomen. I would then have to do nothing for six weeks.

I wanted other women to know that they should follow up if they find out they have a fibroid, don't just ignore it. Ask the doctor how often you should follow up with it. They can do ultrasound to monitor it. They don't always grow, and they don't always need to be removed, so you don't have to panic, but you don't want to get caught like I was. I am thankful I didn't have dreams of becoming a Mom, because then hearing I couldn't because of this would have been one tough blow.

Be proactive. Ask questions.

Peace out my wonderful friends...be healthy.

Oops, I Did It Again...Or Did I???

2011-02-25T12:49:00.000-08:00

Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness. ~ George Santanyana

I thought I had bid racing adieu in 2009...but I guess I may just have one last race left in me. Well, let's put it this way, I've committed to it so I'm going to do my best to fulfill that commitment.

2009 was not a great year. Or was it? On one hand it was not a great year for participating in triathlons. I signed up for one half Ironman and two Ironman races. Part way through I realized that mentally, emotionally and physically I was done - for many reasons that I will not dwell on because they are in the past. But because I'm a stubborn girl, I continued on and finished the races. Or did they finish me?? I don't think I realized the toll they took on me until I stopped doing them. Boy, had they ever taken their toll.

And that brings us to the thought that maybe 2009 was a great year. I learned a lot about myself. One thing I realized was that I no longer wanted to be a slave to the grind of training. Afterall, it's not like I was some uber athlete. Nope, I'm just your average Jill out there doing something for fun. So when it stopped being fun, it was time to reflect and learn, which is what I spent most of 2010 doing.

Instead of spending all my time training, I spent it moving back to my hometown where my family was, figuring out how to simplify my life, and getting back into nature doing the things I love to do. The result of that was finding inner peace. I guess it was always there. It was just a matter of quieting my life so I could tap into it.

Somewhere along the line in 2010 some friends and I talked about Sinister 7. It's a trail race in Crownest Pass, AB. At that point I was still in my race haze I think because I agreed to be a part of a relay team. I hadn't given it much thought after that, but in December I was asked to contribute to the race fee. Now at this point racing was FAR from my mind. But I had committed to it...and it would give me a chance to see my friends from my old town...not to mention I could hang with my buddy Julie who lives there. I decided I was still in and sent my fee. Then I forgot about it.

Sometime in late January or early February I remembered I signed up for this race. Granted it's not until July, but I decided I better start looking into getting a coach. True, I do run through the forest all the time - it is one of my ultimate happy places. Also true, I run up hills and stairs in my forest run. But I only run for about an hour, and part of that hour is running back down hill. So I wasn't quite sure how I should go about training for my 16 km portion of a 148 km trail run. It didn't help that adjectives of the climb used in the description of my relay portion were 'gruelling' and 'punishing'. Yikes.

Enter Jen Segger from Challenge by Choice. I had found her on the MOMAR site and liked what I read about her. One thing I didn't count on was the anxiety I felt after contacting her! I realized I had some residual mental and emotional attachment to training and racing. I didn't' want to go back to that dark place of training. I love trail running and just want to do it because I love it, even if I did have a race to prepare for. I talked to Jen about that during our initial meet and greet and I really appreciated that she understood where I was coming from. I've also spent some time thinking about what training was going to look like for me this time around.

Some things I was sure of, I would like to do this race because it will be a challenge, I want to be on a team with my friends, this will be the last race I do for a long while, I want to complete my leg of the run and not spend the next few days in pain, I want to be prepared for what it has to offer. I also know that I will not be devoting my entire life to training for this race, as was the way of the past.

I will officially start training in March and I'm looking forward to the adventure that it will be. At least with this type of training I can continue to spend time being the long haired leaping gnome who frolics on the trails through the trees of the North Shore. Oh and training or no, while out on the trails I will still continue my habit of stopping to pet dogs and to hug trees, because really, if you can't make time to give a little love, then what's the point of being out there?

Peace out all you beautiful people!

Sounds of Running...

2010-11-20T16:36:00.002-08:00

He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery. ~ Harold Wilson

We had our first snowfall of the season today. Compared to what I'm used to, this would be what I call a light dusting. But this is Wet Coast so even the mere hint of snow can mean total catastrophe on the roads. Thankfully that wasn't the case today.

I love it when an event, like snow, signals the change of the seasons. Some have troubles with change. For them, it's uncomfortable and scary. I think I thrive off of change, which is probably why I love the changing seasons. It's almost like Mother Nature's way of helping those who like things to stay the same. She ever so gently invites you to embrace change with little things like the first green bud on a tree, the first scorching day, the first leaf hitting the ground, or the first snowfall.

This morning I woke up way to early for a Saturday. After lounging around for a while I decided it was time to get up and celebrate this crisp glorious first snowfall by going for a run. For the first time in a long while I bundled up for my run. Not that it's cold compared to some provinces right now, but the thicker leggings and a toque were a must.

The plan was to run from home, cross over the river and then run uphill to the suspension bridge, and back home again. The last few runs I've gone the opposite way, but this morning called for a challenge - to go UP!

The atmosphere outside was peaceful right from the start. As I got into the first section of trail I tuned my ears to the glorious sounds that surrounded me and went into my happy place....

"Good girl, pat, pat"...said the man to his dog who sat patiently as I ran by, all the while looking at me with a glint in her eye.
Giggle, laugh, giggle...the children who got to play in the little whisp of snow we had.
Crunch, crunch, crunch...my shoes on the gravel and dirt.
Gurgle, burgle, gurgle....the water from the creeks washing over the smooth rocks and making it's way to the ocean.
Clomp, clomp, clomp...my feet hitting the wooden boardwalk in the trail.
Jingle, jingle, jingle...my keys jumping up and down in my pocket.
Twitter, tweet, twitter...the birdies greeting me in the woods.
ROOOOAAARRR!!! the water falling down the waterfall and crash landing on the rocks below.
Mmphht, mmphtt!...snot rockets.
Splash, gloosh, sploosh...my shoes slopping through the mud.
Wheeze, gasp, wheeeeeeze...my breathing as I run up the stairs and then more stairs.
Jingle, jangle, jingle....the tags on the dogs who want to run with me up the stairs.
Thump, thump, thump...my heart beating a quick staccato.
Squeak, creak, groan...the music of the suspension bridge.

So many sounds and yet so peaceful. It was one of those runs that make you thankful for the beauty that surrounds us...and thankful I am!

Peace out my glorious friends!

Imagine...

2010-10-01T11:33:00.002-07:00

Glance at the sun,
See the moon and the stars.
Gaze at the beauty of earth's greenings.
Now, think."
~ Hildegard von Bingen

I have been reading the book Cradle to Cradle by William McDonough & Michael Braungart. (I highly recommend it - please get it from your local library.) Its about remaking the way we make things. In other words, or traditional thoughts of recycling are not enough in the big scheme of things. The planet is overwhelmed, and change needs to happen.

In addtion to reading the book, I'm taking a course on renewable energy. All of this has me thinking a lot lately about what we are doing to our beloved Mother Earth. I wonder why is it that there are so many people afraid of change to the point that they don't want to REALLY see what's going on?

Then I think, what can I do? Will all the little changes I've made in my life really add up to anything? Am I doing enough? What is enough? How can one make change when so many others have dug their heels into the ground and refuse to budge? And are there any other people out there that feel like I do???

These were the thoughts that went through my mind this morning. So I sat in meditation and felt the peace of just being. Then I wrote a long letter to a friend and shared some joys that I had felt recently.

The peace and joy I felt seemed to open up a little part of me, because just after I laid the letter by the door, ready for the post, a song came into my head. For me, it wasn't just the song that was so powerful, but the exact verse at which it entered my mind...

"You may say I'm a dreamer,
but I'm not the only one,
I'll hope someday you'll join us,
And the world will live as one."
~ John Lennon, Imagine.

I felt much better after. Nuff said.

Peace out beautiful people.

Lean, Mean, Peace Machine...

2010-09-14T19:00:00.003-07:00

"The mind is everything. What you think, you become." ~ Buddha

If there is one thing that I have always loved to do, it's go to the gym. I've been going to the gym, off and on, since I was sweet sixteen and working at Gold's Gym in North Vancouver in trade for a membership. I love the peace and quiet I can feel there, even with the Ahnold wanna be in the corner grunting like he's constipated.

In fact, the thing I really missed when I was triathlon training was going to the gym. I would be able to for a while, and then the swim, bike run hours would increase to the point I couldn't fit it in. Now though, the gym is my main thing, and the rest of the stuff I do is gravy!

When I started at my local gym (aka rec centre) I tried going several different times of the day to figure out what worked. Turns out first thing bright and early works best. Less people and less youngin's trying to earn their first hernia while impressing their friends.

As I spend a fair amount of time at the gym, there are some things that I have observed. Some things are new to this gym, and some things never change no matter what gym I'm at!

I don't understand grunting or growling or yelling. Surely this takes more of your energy that you could be using to lift all that weight. In all honesty, it sounds like you are about to poop your pants. Seriously. Rather than grunting, groaning and yelling, why not take off a plate or two and see what happens. You might actually be able to do one set with perfect form! Focus on your breath my friend!
If you have to wriggle and worm about as you do bicep curls with the cable...then the weight is just too heavy for you. If you add the groaning as above...well you just plain need help. You look silly and you are going to hurt yourself. I know, you are just a teenager, but someone really should point this out. Notice how your friend is doing it? See how he doesn't wiggle and worm around whilst doing cable bicep curls? That's the RIGHT way. Stop trying to lift the same weight as him - you can't. One day maybe, but you are going to have to work at it and wait for those hormones to kick in.
It never ceases to amaze me how HEAVY the tiniest people can sound on the treadmill. The one morning I heard this THUD, THUD, THUD, on the treadmill. It was so loud I could barely hear my thoughts. So I look over and there are two big guys and one very slim, petit woman using the treadmills. I watched their foot falls to figure out who was making all the racket. Sure enough it was the tiny woman. Perhaps she should consider doing less of a flat footed approach? My body was cringing at the thought of the impact her body was suffering!
Why is it whenever I have to work on my pull ups - in other words I hop up to the bar so my chin is level, then slooooowly lower myself down in an attempt to train my body to do pullups - that there is always a guy who is doing a million pullups beside me? The one day there was a guy, I swear he must have been a gymnast, who would do a pullup, then push himself up over the bar till he was above the bar with straight arms! He did this several times...I quietly slunked away after my few reps.
I will admit it, I was impressed by the guy who was doing deadlifts with 6 - 45 lb plates on either side of the bar. It was hard not to stare cause it was just so darn amazing. Needless to say I moved to another part of the gym with my wee 15 lb weights...
We have our very own Clark Kent at our gym. I'm not kidding. I was warming up on the rowing machine when this guy sits on the rowing machine beside me. I see in the reflection of the window that he has Clark Kent glasses and hair. He's wearing baggy sweatpants that are floods, and a baggy sweatshirt. Next thing I know he's done his warm up and heads to the weights. He takes his hoodie and sweat pants off to reveal the body of a 6' tall gymnast in a tank top in shorts! From Clark Kent to Superman!
There is always someone who is "ripe". I mean RIPE. As in needs some deordant badly. Where are the AXE spray gals when you need them?? I know it's first thing in the morning, but still. It's so bad that I involuntarily gag when I go by him, which is why now when I have to walk by, I make sure I take a deep breath, inconsipicuously, and let it out really slowly as I go past. The bad thing is he's a really nice fellow. Always smiling and kind. But WOW - the smell is insane.
I'll never understand folks who have no concept of what's going on around them. Hi there! Yes, that's me right there beside you with my body like a crab hovering off the ground and my head resting on a fit ball trying to do one arm barbell chest presses. You may not have noticed me as you were too busy talking to your friends when you squeezed into my personal space. Please feel free to stand super close to me, but be aware that I might just drop this weight on your foot if you get too close. Heh.
So I'm talking to the manager of gym and he asks me what my background is with training and whatnot. I explain that I've been in and out of the gym for the last mumbly mumbly years, but the last four years was spent doing triathlon. He says, "We were wondering if you were one of those fitness competitors, cause you look like one who is in between contests." Well, my ego blew up like a balloon hearing this, but of course I modestly replied, "Thank you! Actually I've got some chunk on me that I am trying to lose so I'm can get more defined." He says, "Ya, thats why we figured you were in between competitions." Ah yes. You did say that didn't you... Here that? Ffffffffpppptttt...that's the sound of my ego being deflated a mere 30 seconds after it inflated. I love when stuff like this happens in life because it's a good reminder. Not to mention it makes me laugh whenever I think about it.

I recently recieved an update to my training program. Jen is my trainer through the rec center. I noticed another gal, Shelley, doing some really great stuff with free weights and bosu balls etc so I asked her who put together her program. She pointed me to Jen. The first thing we worked on was my core in an attempt to help my lower back and glute/hip thingy that continues to haunt me.

Last Monday she updated my program and I love it. She has me doing walking lunges while holding a dumbell straight armed over my head. Then I get to do pushups with my feet resting on top of a fit ball. In between the pushups I roll the ball towards me by pulling my knees to my chest. There's a whole mess of activities like that. I went through the whole program today and by the end my body was like a faucet of sweet. It felt good. I'm on my way to becoming a lean, mean, peace machine!

Tomorrow I think I will take it easy and do some biking...my glutes and core are a wee bit grumpy from today because they aren't used to the new workout routine. In fact, I could use one of those donut thingys to sit on...or a really good cushion. Oh, it's a climbing night tomorrow too...it will be interesting to see how much stronger I am as I haven't been at the wall during the summer.

So many activities, so little time!

Peace out my happy sweaty gym rats!

Motorcyle Diaries...

2010-08-19T13:27:00.004-07:00

"Like a true nature's child, we were born, born to be wild..." ~ Steppenwolf

I'll tell ya a little secret...I sometimes sing 'Born to be Wild' by Steppenwolf when I'm riding my motorbike Dorky, true, but oh does it put a smile on my face!

I'm not sure exactly when the love of motorcycles got into my bloodstream. It's possible it was when I was 2 years old. That was the first time I was ever on a bike - albeit it was a wee motorbike, likely a 250.

My folks and I lived in Japan for some of my younger years and that was our transportation. Both Mom and Dad had a bike, and there was a kid seat somehow attached to it for yours truly. As they didn't have motorcycle helmuts small enough in that day, I got to wear my cousin Brian's old hockey helmut. I believe there was a Canadian flag sticker on the front of the helmut too. I'm going to have to scrounge up the photos - I do remember I was always smiling.

Then when I was sixteen I had the joy of riding on the back of a classic Triumph bike. As another song says, "Oh, what a feeling, what a rush!". I think that's when being on a motorbike REALLY took hold of me. Since that time I'd finangled my way on to the backs of my friends bikes ranging from Ninja's to Harleys. My heart has always been with the Harley Davidson though.

Here's another little secret about me...well, not so secret to some...I LOVE classic cars and classic bikes. LOVE THEM. My dream cars are the 1964 Corvette (mine would be stock cherry red with white leather interior) and the 1955 Chevy Belair (mine would be metallic purple with purple dingle balls and a pair of white fuzzy dice hanging from the rearview mirror).

But enough about cars, this piece is about bikes. A few years ago I looked into fulfilling a dream of mine - buying a Harley Davidson. A Sporster to be exact. Why the Sporster? Because for the most part the style of it hasn't changed since it was introduced in 1952 as the Model K Sport. She was a modern bike with classic styling, how could I not love it?! Anyways, I had been in the bike shop, talked about buying a Sporty and about taking lessons. Unfortunately, life went all pear shape in an unexpected way and buying a motorbike was out of the question. Life went on though and in quite a glorious way.

Flash forward six years later and I find myself moving back to my hometown and in the company of one of my dearest friends, Terresa, who's known me for 30 years. We had actually lost contact for almost 20 years when we finally found each other just before I moved back. Lucky for me she was as wonderful as she always was! She too shared the passion of the bike, but unlike me, she had acted on it.

So when I moved back she gave me a gental nudge and said, 'So, when are you going to get a bike?'. I had been busy drooling over photos of her Harley, a Dyna Lowrider. I mentioned that the first step would be lessons. Luckily for me she could refer me to the riding school she went to, Open Road Training. They were fantastic and in no time I was ready to take my drivers test.

First though, a bike. I wasn't in a rush to buy a bike per se, but knew that it would be better if I had one to ride and practice on. My dream was to get a Harley, but they were out of my price range. That was until Terresa, the miracle worker, mentioned a friend of hers was selling her Harley. And get this, it was a Sporster! Could this be true??? Could I possibly be an owner of a Harley Sporty??

Long story short, becasue there are other stories to tell, I did end up buying the bike. She is beautiful! She's a 1997 HD Sporster Hugger 883. Just right for a shorty like me.

Figure 1: My 1997 Harley Davidson Sporster Hugger 883

Next up after buying the bike, and before I went for my test, was several hours with my other friend, and Terresa's boyfriend, Reza. He and I rode to the PNE grounds parking lot where he put me through the gears of slow maneuvering on my bike. I'll admit it, I was a little overwhelmed by my bike at first. It was a Harley and it had a lot of power. But after hours of going around and around in small circles, doing figure eights, starting/stopping on a hill - with Reza standing in front of me so I HAD to stop, and learning to park on hills etc, I finally became one with my bike. Oh and lets not forget him making me get up to speed, slam the brakes on till the back end fishtailed, then start and turning. An excellent safety maneuver I should add! But scary when you are learning it!

All this practice was great because when it came time for me to do my drivers test, I aced it. I was comfortable and confident. But not too confident of course. I'm fully aware of the dangers of riding. After all, I was once employed as a vehicular accident reconstructionist! I know what can happen when bike meets (fill in the blank). Rule #1 of riding - NO ONE CAN SEE YOU! Which is the case most of the time so it's best to just assume it's like that 100% and hopefully you will avoid any 'incidents'.

It was because of that rule, and the fact that the parental unit weren't as excited as I was about my new toy that I decided to be smart...and respectful of their feelings. I got a bright orange vest. Sigh...

Figure 2: The vest - front side

Figure 3: The vest, back side.

At least the vest isn't TOO dorky. It does say Harley Davidson and it has kick ass reflective flames on the back side. True, I would love to ride the streets with a tank top on and sexy leather vest like my friends do, but the reality is I'm a safety girl. So I have my full face helmut, nice thick leather jacket with pads, and my vest. Oh, and I swear it gets brighter as it gets darker out. I stopped in at my friend Chris and Joanne's, long time owners and riders of sweet Harley's, one evening after riding. I think they were blinded by my vest. At least they didn't laugh at me??

Figure 4: Me, the vest, and my bike

I don't think the vest looks too horrible on. Actually, it's rather slimming. However, the other day I went riding with Terresa and Suzanne. We took the low road out to Horseshoe Bay, which is stunning! Once you get through West Van traffic, it's a curving windy road that follows the waterfront. Ahh, the smell of salt water while riding your bike is heavenly.

Here's the funny part... Terresa and Suzanne show up on their Harleys' wearing 'traditional' wear of jeans, tank tops and little leather vests. They look stunning to say the least, like something you'd see in a bike magazine. It was hot out, hence they opted not to wear their jackets. Me, I bundle up in my full face helmut, full leather jacket and, yup, the vest. I needed to get riding quick or I was going to fall over from the heat. The good thing was as soon as we started riding I was cool enough, except at the occassional long red light, which we kept getting.

As we rode the girls were in front of me. I kept noticing all the dudes in the cars and trucks around us checking them out. Funny, here I am wearing a bright orange vest but no one's looking at me! Before you think I'm being all 'poor whoas me', trust me, I'm not. I thought it was fantastic and had a good chuckle over it! Hey, I know underneath all these layers there is a Buddha Biker Babe, as my friend Ken so sweetly called me. I must say, I think that is one advantage of being a girl on a bike - you get noticed more, which is a good thing as hopefully that means the person won't cut into your lane. Heck even I get noticed when I'm on my own and they see the blond pigtail waving about outside my helmut! Or maybe it's the vest...

Figure 5: Buddha Biker Babe

Oh, I almost forgot! I named my bike 'Belle', after the Beauty and the Beast's character. Why? Because she's blue and Belle had a blue dress, plus Belle was spunky and sought out adventure. She wasn'ts afraid either.

I've been out on Belle a few times on my own and I love it! My heart rate goes up ever so slightly as I take her cover off (that my parents ever so kindly bought so she'd stay dry and clean) and start her up. She sounds ever so lovely...although the neighbors might think otherwise? Ah well. When they see the beaming smile I have while riding her, perhaps they'll forgive me for a slight noise disturbance now and then.

And maybe, just maybe, if you listen close as you pull up beside me, you might just hear the lyrics to a familiar song...like a true natures child, we were born, born to be wild....

Peace out my born to be wild friends!

Teddy Bear's Picnic...

2010-07-30T14:57:00.006-07:00

Beneath the trees, where nobody sees,
They'll hide and seek as long as they please,
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic" ~ Jimmy Kennedy

My friend Matti introduced me to the song 'The Teddy Bear's Picnic" by John Walter Bratton many years ago. I instantly loved it. I loved it even more when I read a story about a mortician who was working on a fellow who had been killed by a bear. As he dealt with what was left of the poor dude, he had the song "The Teddy Bear's Picnic" playing. Personally, I love that sense of humour.

I recently moved back to my beloved British Columbia and decided to live in the part that is a rain forest. Wait, isn't most of it rain forest?? Hmmm....

But I digress. I love where I live because I'm within walking distance of a couple of trails. One trail will take me up into many various mountainous areas. The other trail, Hastings Creek Trail, is just around the corner from my street. Hastings Creek and the area actually stretches out a fair bit, but there is one portion where there is a trail.

I love this trail because I can run it as an out and back in about a half hours time, which is great for a short run. Because of how it's laid out with lots of roots, logs, branches, rocks, LOTS of stairs and an upward grade till the turnaround point, I can make the run as intense as I want. Also, I love to walk through here to get to the library, which I visit on a weekly basis. Did I mention it also leads me to two of my favourite places to obtain chai soy lattes??

Now you may be wondering what does the Teddy Bears Picnic and my trails have to do with one another. That's easy, we have bears. Two that I was told about when I moved in and most likely more I'm learning. Those two have apparantly adopted our neighborhood. With the exception of new people (yep, that'd be me), most know not to leave anything out that can be mistaken for food. We keep our garbage indoors (or we do as soon as we learn that bears can get into our sealed off backyard...yup, that was me again) and only put it out on garbage day JUST before the garabage man is to arrive.

I still haven't figured out how Mr. Bear got into the fenced backyard or how I didn't hear him knock over the garbage bin and start ripping apart the bag etc...but he visits here fairly frequently as the bear scat and witness reports tells us. Needless to say, when I'm out running the trails I do accept the fact that I may meet a bear. Or a coyote, as we have big ones here.

I don't really think about it too much, or I didn't until Jennifer, a personal trainer at the recreation centre I go to, mentioned they had just removed a 600 lb bear from the Hastings Creek area. This was after I was telling her I love to run through there. "Uh, sorry, did you say SIX HUNDRED POUNDS??"

Okay, certainly he couldn't have been hanging out in MY wee portion of Hastings Creek?? I mean, exactly how quiet is a 600 lb bear? It's not like he's going to sneak up behind me...right??? Right??!! Sigh. I think I'm going to have to review all the bear literature I have from when I lived and hiked in the Rockies. Perhaps they have a section on 'How sneaky bears are."

Needless to say I will continue to run and walk through that bit of the trail. I will just keep my ears for sounds of bears. If they make any. And perhaps I won't doddle as I sometimes do when I see a squirrel or a butterfly. I tend to stop on the trail and just watch whatever little forest creature is frolicking about. At least I do when I'm walking through.

Below are some photos of my beloved Hastings Trail. I took then when my friend Shelley and I walked through with Rex the dog. No bears that day.

Oh, and for the record, should I ever end this life at the paws of a bear...please make sure whoever is doing the autopsy is listening to "Teddy Bear's Picnic" as they piece back my remains. That way you can guarantee that wherever my spirit or energy is, I will be smiling and laughing.

Peace out my lovely teddy bear friends!

Taking One For The Team...

2010-07-22T09:44:00.005-07:00

"Make your feet your friend." ~ J.M. Barrie

Normally on Wednesday nights I go to the indoor climbing wall with my friend Lisa. There we meet up with some of the climbing gals and literally hang out for an hour or so. It's great fun, but the last time we went it was hot outside, which mean really hot inside.

Of course you don't notice the heat too much till you are part way up the wall and you, or rather I, start to get even more sweaty than normal, which is saying a lot as I sweat like a waterfall. This means it's even more difficult than normal to keep your hands connected to the holds. Not to mention it's rather trying when you have sweat running down your face and dangling off your nose, which tickles, but you don't want to let go to wipe it off.

And did I mention how "hummy" it gets in there. PHEW! Sometimes it takes a moment to get used to the smell. And not gasp. Or gag.

Needless to say when Lisa asked if I wanted to go climbing, I suggested that since it was so nice outside perhaps we could go for a hike instead? I was so happy when she said yes! We share the feelings about the hot hummy climbing wall.

Better yet, we were going to hike the BCMC Grouse trail, which starts off at the same place as the very famous Grouse Grind, but is less travelled. Considering it's summer and the parking lot was full, full, full, I'm glad we chose this trail instead.

A little information about the trail: It is 3.3 km of sheer UP. There is an elevation gain of 853 m (~ 0.5 mi) and the average grade is 25.8%. The trail is quite narrow in spots and one must be mindful of their footing.

Just to add to tonights adventure, I decided to wear my Vibram Five Finger toe shoes, also known as barefoot shoes, or more accurately, minimalist shoes. My friend Tina introduced me to these shoes a few years ago, and although I don't wear them year round or all the time, when I do wear them I love them!

Here is a 'before' photo of my feet inside my glorious shoes.

Figure 1: Feet/Shoes pre-hike.

We hadn't been walking long when a fellow came up beside me and started to ask me about my shoes. Needless to say, this is a normal occurrance when people see your shoes and he was the first of several on the trail to ask me about them. Afterall, you have toes in your shoes! (Remind me one day to tell the story of how a little girl was afraid of my shoes...and toes.)

As I walked I went on to explain that they are minimalist shoes, the sole is about 3 mm thick, they are made by Vibram, and I love them because I feel connected with nature. I can feel everything I walk on. Just as I finished my description, we came to the fork in the trail. To the left takes you to along The Grind, to the right, BCMC. We went right.

Figure 2: Beginning of BCMC Trail

Right away I knew I'd love this trail. There were far less people on it! You have to understand, the Grind can be back to back people in the summer and it's not a wide trail! As we started on our journey up the mountain I tried to take in the beauty that surrounded us. Unfortunately, I couldn't keep taking in the beauty and walking. I tend to look down when hiking, and for good reason. Roots, rocks, tree bits, narrow trail and sometimess drop offs where you could fall for a very long time. Until coming to an abrupt stop by hitting a tree or rock. Yeowza.

I did stop now and then to take a photo or grab a sip of water. Of course this also allowed me to catch my breath a bit. It's hard to hike up a mountain and talk at the same time!

Figure 3: Lisa setting the pace and guiding us to where we needed to go.

Thankfully Lisa was leading the way so I could focus on talking and walking. I did look up once in a while to see if I could find the tree markers, those flourescent orange diamonds that mark the trail. I'd like to hike here on a regular basis so I figured I should pay attention a wee bit. For the most part the trail is easy to follow, but there are some areas where you could go off to the left or right.

While we were hiking we could hear the birds, and the odd squirrel chirping away. This little guy decided to pose for a photo. As soon as I was done taking the photo he scampered off chirping away as he went.

Figure 4: The posing squirrel.

I'm not sure how far up we were at this point. My feet were feeling good, and my legs for the most part - despite having a good strength training workout the day before. The one thing I could feel were my calves. It was a nice time to stop for water and take another photo! See how sweaty Lisa is? I was about 5 times as bad. Did I mention how much I sweat??

Figure 5: Lisa, friend, hiker and climber extraordinnaire!

It felt wonderful being in the woods, as well as having a good friend to share the experience with and to chat with. I had been gone the previous week so we had a lot of catching up to do! Here's the thing with chatting while hiking though...sometimes we forget to look up for the trail indicators...

Lisa had mentioned that if you come out of the trail and spot the chairlift, it just means you went off track a wee bit and if you walk to the left you will get back onto the trail towards the roundhouse. Guess what we saw when we came out of the trees?

Figure 6: Ooops, I see chairlift!

We had a good giggle about this. Funny thing was that towards the end I HADbeen looking for the markers and thought we were on the right path. Oh well! Likely it was a good thing because if I ever come up here on my own, or to show someone else the trail, I'll know what to do if I see the chairlift!

At this point I was feeling my legs pretty good. And my lower back. Mental note: must do more low back and core exercises! We weren't 'out of the woods' yet though! There was still more up, albeit less steep up. We headed to the left and got back on the trail. This part is where you are parallel to some of the sewage piping. At one point Lisa said 'Don't take a breathe!' Too late, I had, and I gacked. Urgh. What happened to the glorious smell of pine trees?!

Finally we were at the top. My feet felt fine and I was happy there were no blisters and not too much in the way of rocks or dirt in my shoes. My legs were happy there was no more up of course. I think I'm going to do this hike on a regular basis to build up some strength!

My feet after the hike:

Figure 7: Post-hike tootsies - a little bit more dusty.

Figure 8: Huh, not bad. Kept the dirt out pretty well!

Before we headed down on the gondola, yes, you can take a gondola down rather than walking down, Lisa took a photo of me at the top. That's West Vancouver down below, and you can see the tip of Vancouver where UBC is. It's funny because when we started the hike it was very warm out and sunny. It had covered over a bit and there was a welcome breeze!

So you'd think that the hike was the exciting part of the trip, wouldn't you. Amazingly enough, it was the last part of the gondola trip that was the climax of the trip. As I mentioned before, the parking lot was packed full of people. Needless to say, we were packed into the 'down' gondola like sardines.

Lisa and I were near the front of it and there was a woman with her three children (under the age of 10) sitting on the seat, while we stood in front/behind them. The youngest girl, about 6 years old, looked a little afraid of the experience. Understandable. This was the first time I actually looked out the windows myself and I'd been on this thing since I was a kid!

There is a bit of a drop off when you get going, and the little girl did not take it very well. Apparantly she didn't take any of it very well because just as we arrived at the base, she looked down between her knees and hurled. EWWWWW!

Did I mention we were packed like sardines in there? I took a step back and used Lisa as a bit of a shield. What can I say, I have ninja princess like survival instinct! Lisa, being a mom, wasn't too fussed over the chunder and took it like a pro. I'd just like to mention here that she has proved herself to be a true friend! She took one for the team and, although she stepped back, calmly, she didn't push me in front of her or give me a look when she realized I had shifted myself so I was directly behind her, thereby hopefully not getting any icky stuff on my shoes and bare legs. EWWWWW!

I think the little one thought we were staring at her with disgust, when really we were concerned and sympathetic. Hey, who hasn't felt cruddy at one point in time and been sick somewhere other than in a bucket or the porcelain throne?! The same could not be said for her sister who uttered the words rather loudly, 'EEWWWWW!!', whereas I just thought that statement, while looking on with concern.

After we disembarked, the now sloshy gondola, we surveyed our legs and feet for splash back. Lisa had done a wonderful job acting as my shield, for which I will always be grateful. I was hurl-free. Unfortunately, she had a wee bit on her shoes and a couple drops on her capris. Nothing that a pro Mom like her couldn't handle with a bit of water. She also commented that she figured the little girl had milk and spaghetti for dinner. This was just too much information for me and I started to get a bit queasy myself.

And that was the finale of our hike up the BCMC Grouse trail. I would recommend it to others, just be mindful that you are not situated near queasy looking little kids on the ride down in the gondola!

Peace out my lovely friends!

Risk...

2010-07-05T20:25:00.011-07:00

The other day I was looking for something, I forget what now, and came across a sheet with a quote on it. Not sure who wrote it, but I remember reading it when I was at university and loving it, so I copied it down. Not surprisingly it's written on purple paper in purple ink, which thankfully hasn't faded.

It was the perfect thing to read when I was in university because I had taken a risk going back to school. For most of my scholastic career I thought I was dumb, so I didn't try. I figured it was best not to try and get a crap grade, then to try and risk failing and look like an idiot. (This theory of course somewhat proving that perhaps I wasn't the most brilliant.) Eventually, I realized I had a brain in this noggin and went back to school. Considering I barely made it out of high school (to be honest, I think they made a mistake because I'm sure I was short a credit, but hey, who was I to point that out??), the fact that I went into engineering was a big shocker to many. But I did it and I graduated.

I have found that the last five years have been about taking some risks, like completing a sprint triathlon, then a half Ironman, then an Ironman.

Then last year I lost a good friend of mine to cancer. She was way too friggin young and it drove the point home that LIFE IS TOO SHORT SO MAKE THE MOST OF IT! Lately I find I am taking more risks. Not in a smoking crack, screw the world kind of way, that's not my style. More the, life is too short so I want to grab it by the horns, kind of risks.

Maybe it's a result of losing Tigger, or maybe it's just a mid life crisis!! Whatever it is, I do feel more alive from taking the risks I have. In the las seven months I've challenged my fear of heights and took up indoor climbing, soon to be outdoor; I went on a mountain biking trip to Moab, a serious mecca of the sport, after not having ridden in 14 year; then I challenged myself in a moutain biking course and found myself rolling off drops that were about 2 ft high with roots and trees waiting for me to ride around after the drop. Yup, those things got the old ticker pounding out of my chest!

The latest risk is doing something I've wanted to do since I was 12 years old, which is forever ago. I finally took a course and learned how to ride a motorcycle. (I passed my road test today with flying colours!) Not only that, I bought one. My dream bike, a Harley Davidson Sporster. This did not please the parental unit I may add. Not that seeing me near death during Ironman did, or when I mentioned I was taking up rock climbing and my dad responded "Isn't that dangerous?". Hmm, perhaps all this is making my getting tattoos not look so bad in there eyes??

Anyways, I guess the point of this post is that the finding of this quote was perfect. It reminded me why I do what I do. Because taking a risk is living life rather than sitting on the couch and watching it go by.

Enjoy and peace out my lovelies!

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing setnimental.
To reach out for another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas, your dreams, before a crowd is to risk loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk despair.
To go forward in the face of overwhelming odds is to risk failure.

But risk we must.

Because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.
They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they can't learn, feel, change, grow or love.
Chained by their certitudes, they are a slave. They have forfeited their freedom.

Only a person who risks is free.

Trail Mix...

2010-06-08T19:04:00.007-07:00

"The woods are lovely dark and deep, but I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep." - Robert Frost

I now live in a rain forest. Perhaps not a super warm tropical one, but a wonderful one indeed! Since moving back home I've wanted to explore the trails around me either using two wheels or two feet. There is a little trail right by my place that I often walk to go up to the library, or run to get a strong 30 minute run in.

I also learned that if I went down the street a bit I'd come to the entrance of another trail, which would lead me to a bridge, which would lead me to a walking path, which would then lead me to a trailhead! It sounds like a long trek, but actually it's a nice 15 minute walk. This trailhead is one starting point to get into Lynn Canyon. Follow it and there is peace and beauty to be found!

As I've been blessed enough to have some of my Alberta friends come out and visit me, I've decided that I must share with them this treasure trove of trails that I've learned of! Dave and I walked part of this trail when he came to visit, but this time, when Joz came out to visit, we would run it!

I was so glad that Joz was up for the adventure. First off she's training for the Arizona Ironman and this was supposed to be a bit of a rest weekend for her. This run would definitely not be a rest run because it's mainly up, with stairs, bridges, roots, mud puddles, rocks and cliffs thrown in. Secondly, there are some people who when in training (and I'm speaking about me here when I actually trained for something) who sometimes find it hard to stray from their program. Thankfully Joz was ready and will to break from the normal routine! It helped that, just like me, this was her old stomping ground and she loved the area.

So we started off with a warmup walk to the trailhead then started on our way. The first thing you notice when you run through here is the sounds. I could hear Lynn Creek rushing by, the birds chirping happily in the trees, the trickle of water running down the side of the hill, my footsteps as I leaped merrily along, and not too long into the start of our climb, my breathe as my breathing got heavier and deeper!

The other thing I always notice when I'm running in the trails around here is the smell. Everything smells sweet from the pines, and sometimes you get a little whiff of cedar mixed in. Plus there is the honest smell of the dirt. Aaaah. There is nothing like it!

I'd only been through part of this trail so wasn't sure what to expect, but knew that there would be some challenging bits. We stopped now and then to enjoy the view as well as to catch our breathe...of course I used this time as an excuse to take some photos of the Garden of Eden we were in.

I'm not sure how long the actual trail is, but eventually you get to the Twin Falls. At this point there were more and more people on the trail. Not a big deal, except when you can't get through. This is when I had to remind myself I was doing this for fun and if I had to stop and wait before passing, it was not going to matter. Funny how some mind habits are hard to break?

It took us about 55 mintues to get to the deep pool. My mom used to take me here as a kid when it was hot out. The pool is glacier fed, ergo it's darn cold! However, in the heat of the summer it can be brilliantly refreshing. I've always loved it because it was so clear. Hard to tell how deep it is. People, yes Joz included, used to cliff jump into the pool. I never did because I was afraid of heights. Not to mention there's been more than one death in this canyon and a few were from doing just that! Yup, I'm a chicken and proud of it!

We sat at the pool for a little while and enjoyed a snack before heading back down the trail. This part was definitely easier than the up, but there was still a super steep section to contend with. We had to walk down it earlier because it was so steep and there was quite the drop on the one side, not to mention lots of roots to trip you up. My attempt to run up it was feeble at best. My lungs were burning within a few minutes. Definitely something to work on!

Although the way back had more down bits, it still took us about 45-50 minutes. The thing I love most about trail running is not just the fact that I'm surrounded by nature, but it's also because I have to be in the moment at all times. One distraction from thought and I could be kissing the ground quickly and unexpectedly. I love that I run on the balls of my feet as I tap dance through the roots and rocks. I joke that I'm a long haired leaping gnome now...but that's truly how I feel!

The Buddhists believe that everything on earth is interconnected. Plants, animals, and minerals. If there was any doubt of this before, the doubt is now gone. When I'm in the trails, whether it's walking or running, I can feel the energy that nature presents me and know that I give that energy back. It's an amazing feeling and I'm so glad that I can experience it every day!

Some photos of our adventure are below. Enjoy, then go out and find a piece of forest heaven near you and go hug a tree!

Peace out my lovely leaping gnomes!

Photo 1: Joz running up just a few of the many many stairs on this trail!

Photo 2: Wee bridge through a garden of skunk cabbage...yum!

Photo 3: Lynn Creek - a small portion of it.

Photo 4: Twin Falls

Photo 5: More of Twin Falls

Photo 6: Me and Joz on the bridge at Twin Falls - you can always find a tourist will to take your photo!

Photo 7: Joz using her Wonder Woman super powers to hold up a tree so I could go under!

Photo 8: The pool at the top...told you it is crystal clear! And cold....brrrr.

Photo 9: Stairs that start the super steep bit.

Photo 10: After the stairs on the steep bit, mind your footing!

Photo 11: Be one with the roots...still steep!

Photo 12: Teeny weeny flowers along the path.

Photo 13: Super mini waterfall along the edge of the trail.

Dirty Dirty Dirty!!!

2010-05-18T19:01:00.009-07:00

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather, to skid in broadside thoroughly used-up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming: WOW! WHAT A RIDE!!" ~ Unknown

I LOVE the above quote and every now and then I get the chance to do something that contributes to that goal. This weekend was no exception.

I spent the weekend, with my cousin Lisa, attending Dirt Series, a mountain bike clinic for women (they have co-ed clinics too). The goal: to have as much fun as possible while learning some new biking skills to get me down the North Shore mountains in one piece, bumps and bruises not withstanding!

Was the goal achieved? You betcha! I had a brilliant time! It was an amazing weekend filled with tons of learning (I can hop over things now!), pushing fear boundaries (I rode some wicked downhill with drops that had me shaking on my pedals!), and building new friendships. Not to mention the coaches were fantastic and it was so empowering to be with 59 other women as we took over the mountain trails.

On Fromme Mountain, this guy was riding up beside me and Megan and said 'I have never seen so many women riding!' He promptly then rode into the ditch. Guess we were a bit of a distraction?! I told him he might want to be careful on the trails because there were 60 of us out there on various trails! Too funny.

I have some wonderful bruises to show for my efforst this weekend, one about 2 inches in diameter on my upper thigh - the result of my first endo! The girls were mightly impressed when I leaped up after the fall, hands in the air like a champion, proclaiming 'Yeah! My first endo!!!' And of course a myriad of other bruises here and there. Oh, and there was my squished ankle...which happened when I put a little too much pressure on the very touchy disc breaks. Oops. This one definitely hurt, but it's starting to feel better. My theory - if you are going to participate in this sport, you are going to have some boo-boos. (Refer to quote at top of page...)

OH! And I almost forgot the cherry on the top of this whole weekend! I got to demo a Trek Remedy 9.8 carbon fibre dual suspension bike! It only retails for $4900!!! I have never in my life gotten to ride such a fine fine piece of machinery. It was heaven!

I am so stoked to be getting back into mountain biking. Espeically now that I have two new trails to practice my new skills on and new friends to go with! The North Shore mountains rock!

Below are some photos of the weekend...the trail ones do not do the drops justice!

Peace out my fellow adventurers!

Figure 1: Starting to gather for the skills session

Figure 2: Can you feel the excitement??

Figure 3: Lisa....can you feel the excitement??

Figure 4: Some of the skills equipment

Figure 5: The gals of Group C heading out for their first ride (Griffin Trail, Fromme Mtn)

Figure 6: Turn at the tree, mind the first drop!

Figure 7: Turn right 90 degrees, avoid the ditch, then ride down this rock ramp and drop off the rock at the end. Easy.

Figure 8: This drop looked much higher from the viewpoint of the bike!

Figure 9: Droool...Trek Remedy 9.8C

Figure 10: The Women of Dirt Series!

Figure 10: Day two skills - one of the ladies learning to do jumps at the bike park

Figure 11: Practicing front wheel lifts

Figure 12: Lisa practicing front wheel lifts!

Figure 13: Getting some instruction on the Bottle Top Trail, Seymour Mtn.

Figure 13: Bit of a left turn at the tree, 3 drops over roots and go across the bridge...this was late in the day and none of us mastered the drops. To be conquered next time!

Figure 14: Bit of downhill.

Moab: The Last Ride...

2010-05-10T19:47:00.004-07:00

Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. ~ Abraham Lincoln

Okay, it's been a while since I was in Moab or have written about it. Forgive me, I've been busy moving. Again. This was the second stage of my move. The first stage was moving from Alberta to British Columbia. That was easy in the sense I had to unpack my worldly possessions into storage and leave it there. Until stage two, moving into an acutal home.

That took more energy and planning. It was more emotional too...but that's a story for another day. Suffice it to say that this move back home is taking a bit more adjustment then orginally thought and even though I LOVE LOVE LOVE being here, I really miss my buds back in AB.

Okay, enough of that. On to the good stuff. My last ride!

I say it was in Moab, but I lie. I actually had an adventure within an adventure and me and Shauna took a trip over the Utah border into Colorado!! Where you ask? Why the mecca for mountain biking in Colorado - Frutia. Funny name, I know.

Once we finally found the area we were going to bike in - Shauna had a book outlining all of them, and let me tell you, there are a TON of places to ride - we gleefully got out our bikes and attempted to find the trail head out of the parking lot.

Who knew that would be tricky. In our defense, it was kind of blocked by some vehicles.

Oh, before I go on further, check out my new biking shirt. It has purple and wings!!! All that means is, yes, it makes me go faster.

Okay, so off we went on our adventure after taking photos of my wonderful shirt and after finding the trailhead.

The first bit of trail 'Zippity Do Da' was your average single track trail. Nothing major. We had to go around this way though in order to get to Frontline, which ran east-west. So we rode on and I tried to catch my breath on the short uphills and get my legs going.

For a good portion of this part of the ride we had to ride on a dirt road. It just so happened that there must have been a significant amount of rain at some point and the roads must have been mud swamps because there were two deep ruts where trucks drove through and tons of indents from cattle hooves. This made this section exceptionally bumpy and I was truly wishing I had a full suspension bike.

The biggest pain was in my seat bones. My butt was not used to this seat or sitting so upright so they'd been getting progressively worse all week. By the time we finished that section and got back onto the regular switchback, which was also a somewhat bumpy ride, I was gritting my teeth from the pain.

When I met up with Shauna (she is a great rider so would go ahead then stop and wait for me at the junctions) I told her 'we have a situation'. I so hated saying it, but I told her that I was in a lot of pain, and if the trail continued like this I was going to take the first trail that went south off of Frontline to the parking lot and bail. I'd wait there while she explored the other trails.

Man I hate being a wuss, but I seriously could not take it.

As it turns out the first trail that would go back to the car, the beginning of Zippity Do Da (we started our ride at the tail end of it, if that makes sense), would have been a suicide mission. At least according to the description in the book it would be. So I was going to carry on to Joe's Ridge.

Finally we got to Frontline the main trail that went east-west. As it turned out I didn't need to worry about sitting on my seat because there was a lot of single track, switch back up and down! There were squeals of glee that sputtered forth as I went along.

There was one downhill that made me stop and take a deep breath. Finally I went down and as I got there Shauna heard me say 'Hey, that wasn't so bad afterall!' It's a good thing when on the last day of riding you finally figure things out I guess.

Some of the sections had V like drops in them. They were short drops but the climb on the others side felt like it was at 45 degrees. This meant hitting it in the V and needing to know how to raise your front tire to get up the other side. All in limited space. I tried some of the more shallow ones, but some I had to walk. I just didn't have the skill to figure them out.

At one point the trail took us up and back out of the valley. It was insanely steep so both of us had to walk it. I was totally impressed with the dudes that passed us and rode up it. Note to self...practice riding when I get home!

We finally got to the Zippidity Do Da trail that went south. We decided to ride a bit of it to see how it was. We didn't get too far when we both stopped, laughed and turned around. Even the one section we were on was a bit spooky for me as it was near the edge. I just kept my mantra going of 'look to where you want to go'. Which meant do not go over the side as it's a loooooong way down!

We headed back to Frontline and zipped through the trees. This ride was glorious! I loved the speed we got as we wove in and out of the trees. Again we hit some up down switchbacks. I kept working at these ones trying to get better at them.

I had borowed my cousins bike and knew it made quite a bit of noise. At this point though I started to hear a squeaking. It sounded like the seat was making the noise. I figured I'd have to do something with it when I got back.

I then hit another of those V type drops. That's when Shauna heard a EEEEP! Then she heard 'My ......fell off!' She kindly doubled back to figure out what the ..... was and saw me standing there, with the bike, looking somewhat incredulous.

We pulled off to a section where there was some shade, as it was nicely hot that day, and took an assessment of the situation.

Oh, you may be wondering what happened. Well I'll give you a hint.

Yup. That's a bolt. That's a bolt that's suffered a fatigue fracture, as we call it in the materials science world. I used to study those in university...then as a failure analysis engineer. Of course all this information really didn't help me at this point.

Wondering where it came from? Here's a hint...what's missing in this photo? (Try not to get distracted by the streamers on the handle bars. And yes, they made me go faster.)

Just in case there is too much going on in the photo and you aren't sure. The bolt that fractured held my seat onto the seat post. No bolt = no seat.

Huh. Where the heck are we on this trail anyways and how far back is it to the car??

Of course by this point I'm laughing. And laughing hard. Oh the irony of the situation has not escaped me. I am complaining about how my arse hurts and I can't sit on my seat and BLAMMO, the Universe makes sure this is no longer a problem.

Shauna was mighty impressed with how I was handling the situation. Really though, what other way could I have handled it? I had no idea how far away we were from the car and I wasn't about to walk. So instead I chose to laugh, have a bit of lunch, put the seat and the bolts, along with the seat post, into my hydration pack and start riding standing up!

To be honest, it was easier riding without the seat. Well, at least on the downhills and the flats. The uphills not so much. At one point Shauna stopped and was telling me how Trina had explained that if you shift your butt to the front of the seat when climbing uphill, you have better control of the bike.

I stood there listening ever so intently with a small smile on my face. Then she looked from my face to just behind my butt...where my seat would have been. That's when she started laughing and said, 'Well, that's if you have a seat I guess!' I was laughing too and said I would mentally file that little tidbit away for when I had a seat!

We finally found Joe's Ridge, which was the trail I was going to take back to the car. Due to the time, Shauna decided she'd ride that trail too. Needless to say, Joe's Ridge was one heck of a ridge. It was this long downhill, literally on a ridge!! The first part was so steep and had so much loose rock we both decided to walk down that part to the next section of descent.

At this point I was so thankful I didn't have a seat as it allowed me to move my butt over my back tire so I could get down. I was shaking because of the height and the drop but we took it in sections and it turned out to be a blast!! There were these rock piles on the ridge too...we didn't realize these were the piles that we were warned about in the book. The ones that can flick you into an endo or cause you to break your handle bars.

Sometimes not knowing certain bits of information is a good thing.

As it turned out it really wasn't that bad. From there on it was the usual little bit of downhill and switchback. Having no seat, I was very grateful for the downhill.

Finally we could see the parking lot. By this point, seat or no seat, I was having so much fun I didn't want to go back. But go back we had to. It was our last night in Moab, we had a two hour drive back to the camp and we were all going out for a 'last supper'.

We hit the last bit of trail we needed to ride to get to the car. It was called Kelso's Run. We waited until some riders went through then we hit it.

HOLY HANNAH WHAT A RUSH!! This was the funnest section of trail I have ever ridden on! It was a super fast, slightly downhill, singletrack switchback that curved up into the hill so you were on your side like in a velodrom. Then it had the little V drops, which by this point I was hitting hard and leaping over the other side! I attacked this trail. It was SO skookum. The smile on my face wrapped from ear to ear.

When we finished that section both Shauna and I wanted to go back and do it again, but it was time to go. We had a short trip to the car then the car ride back. All in all I only had to ride about 5 miles with no seat. Not to shabby.

I had been wanting to go to Moab since the early 90's when I first heard about it. Finally, my dream came true. Not only did I get to go to Moab, but I got the bonus of going to Fruita as well. And the super bonus of all bonuses, I got to go with a most amazing group of people!!! This was a trip of a lifetime and I'm so thankful I got to do it. Thanks to all who made it possible!!

I can't wait to go again next year!!

Peace out my Zippity Do Da friends!!

Souvereign Moab...

2010-04-25T19:33:00.005-07:00

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be." -Lao Tzu

After a wonderful dinner with the gang, a good nights rest, and a skookum breakfast, our fearless heroine, the five-foot-two-of-fury-ninja-princess-she-ra-soon-to-be-mountain-biker, (that would be me) was ready to take on another of Moabs biking trails! I was not going to be put off by Slickrock!

On this, the second day of biking, my buddy Dave and I chose to ride 'Souvereign'. I was told it would be less challenging than Slickrock. Considering Slickrock is one of the most difficult rides, something 'less challenging' could have meant many things!

After almost getting lost trying to find the trailhead, not to mention Dave getting caught in a wee sandstorm in the desert while asking for directions from a family camped in a Winnebago we came across (while I stayed ensconced in my car), we finally found the spot we needed to be.

Let the adventures begin!

This trail was definitely more my speed...and at the same time it had it's challenges. I loved that it was so free flowing, with some sharper climbs and descents, as well as the rolly stuff. The first part of the trail was the slickrock and had little ups and downs to get over.

I was amazed that I actually could get up and over a lot of this stuff and the more we did the more I trusted my bike. Of course there were some bits were I still got off my bike and walked, but today I was a bit more brave because Dave was with me and I took more chances.

It paid off. I felt much stronger and my confidence started to build. At one point I was doing some more technical downhill and was being hesitant so told myself, "Just let go of the dang brakes already!! You'll be fine". I'm pretty sure I emitted a wee squeal as I did so, but I did survive and it was a blast!

The biggest problem I seemed to have, on all the days I rode, was my lungs. I'm not sure if it was because I hadn't done a lot of aerobic work in the last bit since the end of training, just normal asthma stuff, or because some of the climbs were short but steep; however I was majorily sucking wind and had to stop after some climbs. It was a bit of a bummer, but hey, it is what it is and I was happy I was riding...and posing for photos!

We only made it to Link 5 when I realized I was zonked and couldn't go further. We had stopped for lunch, but it didn't give me enough gusto to carry on. I didn't want to bonk somewhere in the middle of nowhere so asked Dave if it would be cool to turn back.

I had a feeling the food I ate might kick in on the way back, and it pretty much did. Ah well, lesson learned. The way back to the car was AWESOME! My confidence was definitley higher so I was riding a lot faster on the downhil. It was like being on an amusement park ride...only better! We were out there for about 3.5 hours, so it was a good day!

The second time out to Souvreign, and the fourth day of riding, was even better than the first. Good thing as it turned out to be a bit of an epic 'wherethefugawi' adventure! It all started out well and fine... Having a great ride, checking out the flora and fauna and the scenery. Kicking a little slickrock butt...

We rode back to the same spot we went to last time. It took less time this go around because we stopped for less photos, but also because we knew the terrain a bit better.

This made it all the more fun because we could go faster. Well, at least we could after my lungs warmed up. The first little bit of climbing we would stop so I could either get a hit of my inhaler, or just let the lungs relax on their own. The time we'd have to wait got shorter and shorter, much to both of our relief!

After a few hours of riding we stopped on a ridge and had a wee snack in the shade. It was much hotter out this time, about 30 C. Not much shade along the way either. Actually. No shade, except when we got off our bikes and tucked in near a big rock! Our bikes took a well deserved rest too.

Yep, that's my bike with the streamers hanging off. Well, my cousins bike on which I put the streamers. Figured it would make me look like a real mountain biker... What do you think?!

I was excited to press on and check out the area that we didn't ride in last time. We didn't have a map this time so were going on what we remembered. Not always the best plan, but very good if you are looking for adventure.

We had some good riding then saw this awesome, super long downhill section.

The first part was steep with a lot of rocks and beyond my ability, so I got off my bike and scooched down it quickly. As soon as it turned to dirt only, I got on my bike. I'm pretty sure riding down it I let out a Speedy Gonzales cry 'Andale Andale!' It was a blast!

When we got down to the bottom we followed the trail a little ways until Dave stopped and said, 'If I recall correctly, this just goes to the northwest and doesn't loop'. Hmmm. Okay then, let's go back to where the downhill ended and the other trails branched off.

So we did.

We met up with a couple of other cyclists, who, lucky for us, had no idea where they were either. We borrowed their map, which was in less detail than the map we had used before, and decided to follow the ATV trail a bit to see if we could meet up with the bike trail again.

Granted, we could have gone back up the hill, but that was a super long up!

Here's the thing about the ATV trail...98.7% of it is sand. Have you ever tried to ride a bike in sand? I was spinning like mad to get going only to hit a deep part and come to a complete stop. The funny thing is the bike wouldn't fall over or anythign, because the sand was that deep! I'd just come to a halt and be in suspended animation.

If that wasn't happening then I'd be working on my bike handling skills and turning into whichever direction my front wheel would twist to without my help. It was insane. We had brief moments where we'd hit some hard pack and make time, but mostly it was just sand. Lots and lots of sand.

Did I mention we were in a desert and it was hot out?

At one point we came across a dude sitting on a huge flat rock with his lawn chair, iPod, a book and some water. We decided to ask him if he had a map. While Dave and he were conferring, and I was trying not to wonder why someone would come to this spot to sit and read and whether or not he was someone that America's Most Wanted was interested in, I noticed some vehicles way off in the distance.

After squinting to see more clearly, I noticed it was the highway. Quite a distance away because the big rigs looked like Tonka trucks. It was at this point I heard Dave saying, 'I think those dotted lines are a road?' I tried to get both their attention to point out the highway, but to no avail. Something about men and maps I guess?

I finally told Dave when we bid the desert dude a fond farewell and headed back onto the sand path.

Now, it's times like these when one can either a) decide 'Hey we are on an adventure!' and go with it or b) get pissy that you can't do the downhill portion you wanted to and blow a little girl hissy fit.

I'm proud to report that both Dave and I chose option 'a'. Granted it'd be pretty funny to see all of Dave's 6 foot 2-ness blow a little girl hissy fit.

Instead we embraced our adventure, the sand and sang songs as well as tried to figure out if we were indeed going in the correct direction.

See anything Dave??

Just rock and sand!

One good thing was we could tell, once we got out of the valley, that we were headed in the right direction because we recognized the mountains so could determine our east and west. Phew! At every corner we figured we'd hit the bike trail and zip back to the car. But it didn't happen.

At one point Dave mentioned he'd run out of water. We'd both taken 3 L with us. I knew I still had some and told him I'd share...but if we ran out then he'd have to sacrifice himself so I could forgo being vegetarian to turn cannibal and survive. Nothing like a little motivation to survive eh?

After about 4 miles of riding in sand I spotted the Winnebago that Dave had asked directions from days ago. My excitement level was starting to rise. Could it be we are somewhere near the parking lot???

Sure enough we hit the dirt road, took a left and within no time were back at the car. It was at this point I thanked every God I could think of and jumped up and down for joy. Then we high fived and hugged. Not that I thought we were going to be in trouble, but dang, riding through sand is hard and I was getting pooped! Total ride distance for that day was about 14 miles of up/down/up/down/up/down/sand.

It was a fantastic time and I'm so glad Dave was there to share it with me! When I go back to Moab, Souvereign will absolutely be the first ride I do!

Peace out my lovely friends!

Humbling Hills...

2010-04-20T19:02:00.004-07:00

"Every new day is another chance to change your life." ~ Unknown

Day two of my trip to Moab had finally arrived. I would get to do the one thing I've been dying to do for so long...mountain bike. And not just mountain bike, but mountain bike in MOAB.

After a hearty breakfast with the gang, we hopped onto our trusty metallic steeds and ventured off. I said to Shauna, as we rode away from the campground, "I'm giddy. I'm mountain biking in Moab." She laughed and said "Just wait till you are actually mountain biking in Moab and not just on the roads!" So true...

Our first ride was going to be on the Slickrock trail. It's likely a good thing that I didn't look up anything about this trail...

First off though, I had to ride up about 6 km of a steep climbing road...on a mountain bike. Dang! This was the ONLY time I wished I had my road bike. I slugged along sucking wind the entire way. Perhaps I should have kept going on the trainer even after I quit triathlon??

Finally we were in the parking lot. My excitement was hard to contain. At least it was until I read the sign. No, not the sign that said where we were...the other one, with a trail description.

Ya. This sign. Unfortunately I cut off what it said at the bottom. However, the first sentance pretty much captures the essence of this ride. "Physically demanding and TECHNICALLY DIFFICULT."

Oh ohhhhh. I think I'm in trouble. See the thing is, if you recall, I hadn't ridden a mountain bike in the last 14 years. Give or take. For those who are used to triathlon bikes and have never ridden a MTB, trust me on this one. Its very very different. Your body position is different and what you are riding over is most obviously different.

I was starting to get a wee bit nervous.

Then we took off. Our group was seven in number. All but two of us were pretty advanced when it came to riding skills. The only other person who hadn't been on a bike much was my buddy Dave. The big difference between Dave and I is he sees someone else doing something and he figures "I can do that". I see someone doing something and think "Holy crap, how'd they do that??"

Within the first 3 minutes of the ride I had gone off a drop higher than I'd ever gone before. My heart was racing! The short climb up to the part where the trail branches off from the practice loop left me sucking wind big time. I decided then and there that I was going to stick to the practice loop.

I didn't realize at that point that the practice loop was just as difficult as the trail route, only it was shorter. We made a plan for meeting up after our rides and I set off on my own. I wasn't worried about being on my own as there were many people out there. Plus, the gang knew where I was. It was likely it would take me just as long to do the practice loop as it was for them to do the regular route anyways!

The route itself was gorgeous. How could it not be? This is Moab! I was okay for about the first five minutes. Then I came up to the first techinical part. I was shaking trying to get down the first drop. I had been told that although it's called slickrock, your tires actually stick to it. I was still hesitant though.

The first big climb I came to I tried to ride up it, but my lungs were not cooperating. I thought asthma was supposed to be better in the desert?? Apparantly mine was not. I'd already taken a few hits off my inhaler, so couldn't do much more than try to recover as fast as I could. So I got off my bike and pushed it up the hill.

With each section of the trail I'd take a deep breath and attempt to conquer it. At least there were white paint marks to let me know where the trail went or I'd have gone off a cliff within the first little while. Oh did I mention my fear of heights and being on an exposed cliff?

Sure, I'd tamed that fear a smidge with my climbing, but out here, the fear seemed to come back. You'll note the photo below with the little white markings that seemingly lead you right off the edge of a cliff! Gulp!

It was on these sections that I'd get off my bike, put it down, and walk to see where the path went. Then I'd decide if I could ride it or not. At this point I felt like I was doing more walking than riding and I was getting a bit frustrated.

I'd managed to do ok on some parts of the trail, but others I let my fear get the best of me. I started to think that maybe it would have been a better idea to go with the gang. That way I might not be as afraid. Then again, I'd likely hold them up and that wouldn't be fair to them either.

After who knows how long of doing a bit of riding and a bit of walking and getting frustrated, I decided to find a little spot on this cliff, put my bike down and then I sat down. I sat there just focussing on my breathing for a while, kind of like what I do when I meditate. That's when the tears started to roll.

I'm not really sure why I was crying. I remember thinking that even, "What are you crying for?" I know I felt afraid, but I wasn't sure if it was the bike route, or the thought of not being able to fulfill my Moab dream, or if it was just being overwhelmed with all that's gone on the past couple of months. Whatever was bugging me though, I thought it best just to let the tears stream down and release all that I was feeling.

I didn't cry for long. Just enough to feel a bit better. Then I took a look around. Wow. It's so beautiful here. Well if there is ever going to be a place where I just sit, this is not a bad one!

I think I sat there for about a half an hour. It was then that I heard some voices. A guy and a girl. The girl was saying how stupid she was for falling off her bike and how she sucked at riding. I felt so bad for her and wanted to tell her that it was ok and hey, at least she was out there trying!

It didn't take me too long to recognize I had been saying the same thing to myself - about not being good enough to be out there etc and questioning how the heck I was ever going to be able to ride here. They stopped to say hello and I watched as she braced herself to do the next descent. I told her she could do it and not to worry. So did her friend. She took a deep breath and went down the hill and beyond. Then the guy went.

I watched them ride till the next section, then I dusted myself off and got back on my bike. I can totally do this! I may be scared, and I may not be able to do everything on this trail, but I can at least do this with a positive attitude.

For the rest of the ride I had fun. Sure, I had to walk up some bits, but I made it down almost all the descents. That was a big step for me.

I made it through most of the sand that was there and even stopped to take some fun photos. I was in Moab - YEAH!!

When I reached the main trail loop, I decided not to go back to the car, but to see if I could do a little bit of the main trail. I got to the first descent, which I must say was INSANE! I watched a bunch of people struggle just to ride up it. Most didn't make it. Then I walked down the first section to see if I felt I could ride down the rest.

I couldn't. I was ok with that though! I turned around and made my way back to the trailhead. Already I could tell I'd gained a wee bit of confidence in my riding. I knew I'd have to grab some more if I was going to do the type of riding I had come to do.

I decided I'd talked to a couple of the group that new the area and explain that I would need a bit easier ride for the next day. I was completely humbled by this adventure, but I was not about to turn tail and hide. Afterall, was I not a five-foot-two-of-fury-ninja-princess-she-ra-soon-to-be-mountain-biker??!!

Tomorrow would be a new day and would bring even more adventures...

Peace out my gorgeous friends!

Road Trippin...

2010-04-19T20:48:00.005-07:00

"There are exactly as many special occasions in life as we choose to celebrate." ~ Robert Brault

I can't seem to get Willie Nelson's song 'On the Road Again' out of my mind. Perhaps because that's all I've been doing!

I made the big move back to my home province, British Columbia, the first week of April. As much as I am glad to be home, it was harder than expected to leave my wee town. Or more to the point, leave the wonderful friends I have there.

Thankfully, I had two caring friends, Garney and Shelley, who helped me by driving a Uhaul packed with all of my possessions, while I drove my car out. How do you thank someone for doing that??? Not only did they help with the drive, but also with my emotional well being. I give many thanks!!

I was home barely a week when I was 'On the Road Again'. This time I was off on a wee adventure to Moab, Utah. I have wanted to go to Moab since about 1993-ish, when I first learned of it. It was then that I was quite into mountain biking (MTB) and got all the magazines. As soon as I saw Moab I fell in love and wanted to go. It only took me 17 years to finally get there.

My friend, Stephan, who I climbed with in Calgary told me that he and a group of friends go every year. Then he extended the invitation to join them. Hmmm....let's think about this...I am about to make a HUGE change in my life with my move, I'm emotionally a mess, I haven't had any contract work for a month...but it's Moab and a dream come true...COUNT ME IN!

So off I went on my wee journey. The rest of the group were either flying in from Montreal or driving from Calgary. This left me driving on my own from Vancouver. Good thing I'm an only kid who knows how to keep herself amused for a 20 hour drive!

I did the drive out in two days. It was uneventful, thankfully. Finally, on Saturday afternoon I arrived in Moab. One word: breathtaking.

Driving through town was like being in a small town in the Okanagan during a triathlon event. There were mountain bikes everywhere, as well as dirt bikes and 4x4's. I was in a mountain biking mecca!

As I was checking in I met the couple who would be my cabin mates for the first 5 nights - Noni and Reid. Then we found the others, two of whom were my friends from home, Stephan and Dave. Also with us would be Kim, Trina, Shauna, Mike and Richard. The rest of the group, Cedric, Karl-Eric and Stephan 2 were arriving the next day.

As soon as I met the gang I knew I was in the right place! Everyone was super friendly and enthusiastic about being there. Most had been there before, so they would be our guides for the week.

The first night was spent just getting to know one another as well as getting some groceries and setting up camp. "Camp" were some cabins, or chalets as we jokingly called them, located in a campsite off the main strip. It was surprisingly quiet even if it was off the main highway!

The night seemed to fly by and everyone was pretty pooped from our drives. So after a yummy meal of Mexican food we all bid each other adieu and headed off for a slumber before the next day.

Day two was to be a bit more of an adventure than I bargained for. A tale that I shall tell next time...

Peace out my lovely friends!

The River...

2010-03-31T14:57:00.008-07:00

"peace. it does not mean to be in a pleace where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. it means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart." ~ unknown

Last May I was out in BC visiting the parental unit. I was runing along a trail that I love when an inner voice said 'I want to come home'. I stopped dead in my tracks. Where did that come from? Did I really want to come home? It took about a second before I had the answer. Yes.

I'm not sure why all of a sudden I wanted to be there. Perhaps it was Mum's fall that February where she ended up with a broken wrist and trauma galore due to a poor setting, wacky meds etc. Or maybe it was losing both my good friend Terry aka Tigger to cancer, and my furry buddy Mr. Cringely to kidney disease, all within the span of three weeks. Perhaps I was intoxicated with the smell of the pine trees and salt water. Or maybe it was just time...

Because I had just started my own consulting company and I had two Ironman races to complete that year, I decided that perhaps moving right away would not be the best idea. Instead I'd give myself a year to see how things went with the company and finish the races.

The year is now up and I'm less than two days away from moving home. The funny thing is I didn't realize it would be this hard to leave the life I created here. The last few weeks have been tough. Although I'm ecstatic to be going home to my family on the wet coast - ALL of them live there - I'm sad to be leaving the family of friends I have created here.

Yesterday was the hardest yet. I moved out of my house. I'm so thankful my friends were there to help with the move because I was struggling to find peace amidst the chaos. As I shut the door to what was now just the shell of my home I thought to myself 'Why now the attachment to this place? It's just a structure.'

A realization came over me, it wasn't just the house I was leaving, it was my friends. The house was the starting point. When I moved here five and half years ago I was heartbroken and licking the wounds of a failed relationship. This house was the first home I had owned on my own. It was like a warm security blanket, wrapping itself around my shoulders and telling me everything would be ok.

In very short order, everything was ok. I made new friends who would become like family. We would share our triumphs and losses together. I 'grew up' here - emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I sought inner peace and I found it. Now I am leaving all that...or am I? If I could create that type of sanctuary here, could I not create it when I went home? Or maybe I will just bring it with me. At least I will be starting out with a good foundation - friends and family who have been waiting for me to return.

These were the thoughts that tumbled around in my head as I walked along the river today. I had decided to come down here after having lunch with some of those wonderful friends I mentioned. I needed some quiet time to let sink in all that was happening. Last Saturday I came down to the river with my friend Ted. Usually I walk along the path that hugs the river, but on Saturday we looked down the embankment and noticed a skinny rocky 'beach' we could walk along.

Todays walk would take me a little downstream of that section. As soon as I got to the rivers edge, with all the beautiful river stones, I knew I was in the right place. It was quiet except for the gentle gurgling of the water over the stones and the drip drip drip, of the water coming off the melting snowbank onto the rocks.

Way up above I could hear the ruckus of a group of ducks flying into the sunny blue sky. As I stared up at their beauty I thought to myself...keep your mouth closed. You never know when one of those cute ducky's is going to decide to drop a load. Even in the peace of the moment my mind can be a wee bit bent.

At one point I tried skipping some rocks. I love doing that, alas I am not an expert. When I was here on Saturday Ted was skipping, what I would consider boulders, four or five times, but for some reason I could barely get two skips with the lightest, most perfectly flat stone. Today I didn't even manage one skip. Just a massive kerplunk! in the calm waters.

I figured the next best thing to skipping rocks, would be to skip on the rocks. I prayed my trusty Converse sneakers would hold on some of the rocks so I wouldn't go for an unexpected swim.

I was hopping and skipping along my merry way when I spotted this little find...a heart stone. This was the second heart stone I'd found in this area. I found one on Saturday when I was out here as well. Perhaps my little town is sending me off with love?

I felt better after my walk, more at peace with everything. I am going to miss this town and all of my friends here. My heart swells when I think of all the wonderful memories I have from here and I know there will be many more to follow...just in a different way.

Thank you to everyone I've met here who has been with me along my journey. You will forever be in my heart.

Peace out my beautiful friends!

L.E.E.P. Of Faith...

2010-03-22T12:29:00.004-07:00

"When you look at yourself from a universal standpoint, something inside always reminds or informs you that there are bigger and better things to worry about." ~ Albert Einstein

It all started out innocently enough. Just over a year ago, I went in for my annual physical, which of course included a pap test. (Those who squirm at that sentance may want to hold off on reading the rest...) Now I've been having this done for the past 20 years. So no biggie. I always expect to get the letter in the mail saying 'All is well! Carry on for another year!'. Except it didn't happen.

I got a note saying, you have some abnormal cells - call your physician. Huh.

So I did, and I went in and was reassured that this was normal. That the abnormalities were 'low grade'. 'Don't worry', she said. Come back in six months and well do another. Likely it was just caused by stress. Have you had any stress lately? Well, I did complete an Ironman race this year?

Six months passed and I went in again. I figured all would be well by then - afterall, I'd taken up meditating and living mindfully. Surely that would put all those nasty cells back in their place? Alas, another note came along saying abnormal cells. I was starting to wonder what was going on.

Again, my physician reassured me that this was normal and not to worry. They'd schedule me for a colposcopy (a biopsy of my inside girl bits) to confirm it was low grade and determine what was up. I had a six month wait before I got in, and in February I went.

I must say, the staff at the Women's Health Centre at Foothills were great. I went in and had a wee chat with a nurse - the usual background stuff. Then she went on to describe in detail what I was going to be experiencing when I went into the exam room. As with my physician, she reassured me that I didn't have to worry. The cells were low grade and that's nothing to fret about. If they were high grade, that's when we get concerned...

The exam/colposcopy room is like most ob/gyn rooms. They had the pre-requisite sailing/ocean/surf posters on the ceiling. These are put there, I assume, in an attempt to get a women to be relaxed as she has a male strangers head between her knees. Okay, granted he has the label of 'doctor', but still! I'm used to only female doctors.

That day I was wishing I had a female doctor. I think they have a better understanding of what goes on 'down there' and are more delicate. Unfortunately the male physician I had was mistaking me for a turkey. Yeow! I was tempted to give him a little tap on the side of his head with my foot as a suggestion to lighten up. Thankfully, there was a wonderful nurse who held my hand and reassured me all was well.

And that was that as far as I was concerned. I would get my results in a few weeks. See, nothing to worry about.

Last Monday I got the phone call. There was a nurse on the other end of the line informing me that they had found high grade cells on my cervix. I would have to come in for a L.E.E.P. They knew I was moving so could I come in soon. I didn't hesitate and asked to be booked in as soon as possible - they got me in the following Friday.

After I hung up the phone a million thoughts went through my head. These thoughts were fueled by all of the stories I had heard in the past year about friends or friends of friends getting, having or dying from cancer. It seemed like everytime I turned someone else was getting, having, or dying of cancer. Not to mention - they were all in my age group. This included my close friend Terry. Then one big thought popped into my head...

Was I next?

High grade cells are just a step down from cervical cancer. What the heck was going on inside my body??? There was only one thing I could do. Call the parental unit! I needed my Mommy.

I called and got both of them on the phone as I tearfully explained what was happening. Thankfully I am a somewhat rational person and added that I'm sure everything was going to be okay, I just needed a moment to cry and panic and then I would be fine. I must say, Dad did really well on the phone considering we were discussing female health issues that dealt with 'down there'. At least until Mom brought up a question that made me say 'Okay Dad, you can get off the phone now.' I could hear his sigh of relief, which made me laugh, which is always good medicine.

The rest of the day was spent meditating. Literally. I sat for a total of 2.5 hours and afterwards I felt more calm and sure that everything really would be okay. Afterall, this is why we get checked, so that we can catch things before it becomes something really bad.

The next few days I continued doing what I do. I made sure I practiced some sitting meditation every morning too. This, I realized the last few weeks, keeps me very grounded and calm. I'm not sure how or why, but it does the trick.

Friday morning arrived. I made plans to attend the Little Tea Temple for some sitting meditation. I figured being in a peaceful community would be a good start to the day. Thankfully, my dear friend Garney, who I have unofficially adopted as my big brother, came with me. I was so grateful to him because a) it meant leaving our wee town at a very early hour after both of us had late nights, me at climbing and him at the lodge, and b) he would have to sit in meditaoin for 40 minutes. Something he's never done. Still he was willing to help me in whatever way I needed. One couldn't ask for more in a big brother!

After our sitting, of which Garney did amazing I should add, we went for some breakfast at the Lazy Loaf cafe. Both the meditation and the company were the perfect way to get me in a very happy, peaceful state of mind before going to the hospital.

Soon enough it was time to go in. The waiting room is typically full of fear energy - this morning was no exception. Another reason to go with a friend! I checked in and shortly after was lead to a room to chat with a nurse. I had a list of questions to ask. This was part of my 'keeping things in perspective' mode that I had taken on. The big question - was this going to spread and could there be nasty cells in other parts of my reproductive system that we don't know about yet??? How do we know this will take care of this issue?

The nurse was amazingly patient with me. Unfortunately, this is not always the case in the health care system. She explained the entire procedure, using diagrams so I knew exactly what was up and made sure I knew and understood what was going to happen. I'm quite proud I didn't dry heave looking at the diagrams. I have issues with 'insides'. Blood, no problem. Insides, problem. She also answered all my questions and reassured me in a way that I knew all would be well. I just had to get through the next bit...

Once again I found myself staring up at a beach scene. Oh to actually be there. The nurse in the room got me all set up, this included placing a huge 4"x4" grounding pad on my butt cheek. Oh, I should explain....L.E.E.P. stands for loop electrosurgical excision procedure. As there is electricity, the need to ground me. It was at this point I started my meditational breathing...

Then the doctor came in. I was thankful it wasn't the same one I had last time. This fellow had a charming Yorkshire accent, which was reassuring for no apparant reason. He was fantastic at telling me exactly what he was going to do as we went along. No surprises or sudden movements - always a good thing when one has their hoo hoo exposed and there is electricity involved!

The next step was to freeze my lower insides, a process which uses adrenaline mixed in with the freezing. Here's the fun part - try keeping still while they have an electrical loop inside you, bascially doing a cervix circumscision and your heart is racing from adrenaline! Oh and did I mention my thighs and butt cheeks felt like they were doing a jiggy booty dance?? Yikes.

I shall spare you with the remaining details as the worst was over at that point. In no time at all, it was done and I was good to go. Well, once I could sit up without feeling like I was going to fall over or shake to death. That adrenaline is quite the rush!

The recovery part so far has been good. Some discomfort but nothing I can't handle. The day of the procedure I just laid about doing nothing. I hurt and was wiped out. Likely from the emotional aspect more so than the physical. As I'm not allowed to lift heavy stuff I decided to take advantage of the time and do some walking with friends on the weekend.

I'm not worried anymore about things - at least not this thing. I go in again in six months for another colposcopy to check it all out. See how things are. I'm thankful we have procedures like this now. So many women have died from cervical cancer because they didn't have access or didn't go in for annual check ups.

Hopefully this is the last of this journey for me. Time will tell. At the very least I have another good story to tell.

Peace out my gorgeous friends!

A Canmore Walk...

2010-03-20T16:42:00.005-07:00

"The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree." ~ Stephen Wright

Today was the type of day where I just wanted to walk. But not walk just any old place, I wanted to walk surrounded by mountains. Where better to go then, but to Canmore to visit with my friends Trudie and Spring!

This may be my last visit to Canmore for a while, as I am moving back to the West Coast in a couple of week, so it was nice to go have lunch, then enjoy my friends company while strolling along the river. Not to mention it was the first day of Spring and boy did Mother Nature deliver! What a brilliant day.

Here are some photos to capture the beauty of the day....

Peace out my lovely friends!

Views from the Bow River

Trudie and Yours Truly

Spring and I, with wee Cedar tucked in her Baby Bjorn!

Me with Lady MacDonald mountain in behind (I've hiked to the tea house platform up there).

Bunnies, bunnies everywhere. All over Canmore actually...

To Climb...Or Not To Climb...

2010-03-16T08:54:00.006-07:00

"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it." ~ Charles Swindoll

A few weeks ago I toodled off to the climbing wall with the boys. I hadn't been feeling in top shape that day. Not sure if I ate something wrong or what, but the GI system was in shutdown mode and the process was sucking my energy. Ick.

I thought of bailing, but just couldn't. I love meeting up with the dudes and climbing. So I went. Turns out I wasn't the only one lacking in energy that night. Funny how that happens.

As it was, I had my first cruddy climbing night. I just couldn't get myself in the mode of climbing. I only made it half way on a couple of climbs. Instead I decided to take some photos.

Gunter way up high, with Jim on belay as well as striking a pose. (The walls here are 72 - 74ft)

Dave (L) and Jim (R) getting ready for a climb with Stephan fleeing from the camera!

Stephan chillaxing and waiting for someone to be belay.

Me, having put the camera down, belaying Stephan.

To make up for my lack of climbing on the Thursday, I skipped a sangha night and went again the following Monday. It was packed in the gym! A group of girl and boy scouts were there learning to climb.

There was one young fellow who was up a ways and was ready to come down. Kind of. The instructor was going to lower him....but the boy wouldn't let go of the holds. Oh how I know that feeling!! That was me not too long ago. My heart went out to the boy and I wished I could have climbed up to him to help him out. Eventually he did let go after much coaxing. I think he enjoyed the climb up at least!

I started out with my usual climb. I'd been working on it for a while. I have climbed it before, so knew I could. For some reason, this time I put some extra pressure on myself to complete it faster or better, which is not a bad thing...except when you start getting down on yourself when you don't achieve the better, faster part. Which is what I started to do, I'm sorry to say. I'm not sure where this attitude came from - perhaps left over from my Ironman days?? It wasn't a good attitude. Unfortunately, it stayed with me during the rest of my evening, which made for a not so fun night of climbing. I was putting pressure on myself, which was stressful.

I thought I had left those types of negative thoughts behind when I decided not to do the whole Ironman training/racing thing anymore. The hilarious part is I wasn't even very good at IM and yet I still had this attitude that if I wasn't as fast as this or as strong as that, I wasn't doing well.

This is not the type of attitude in my current activities. I am doing what I'm doing for the sheer joy of it, as well as the benefit of fitness!

As they say, the first step to fixing something is acknowledging there is a problem. So I did. I then went back to the gym on Thursday with a major attitude adjustment. I want this to be fun and enjoyable. I needed to bring some of my mindfulness practice into the climb and to enjoy the moment for what it was. I needed to relax when confronted with a challenge and let the solution come to me.

Which is exactly what I have done since then. The end result?? Some AMAZING climbing! Each time I go someone teaches me something new about climbing. Because I am staying more relaxed and calm when I climb, I remember what they say and can apply it. I am trusting myself more, most especially my toes and legs and the fact that they are rather strong and will hold me in a spot!

Last Thursday was magnificant! I did four 5.9 climbs - two of which were new to me. I made it to the top on all of them even though there were some tough sections that I had to find a solution to get through. I was calm and zen like the whole way. In fact, I was so calm that when I missed a hold and slipped, then swung on the rope, I didn't scream! A HUGE accomplishment. I might add that this fact was duly noted by Aroonis and Stephan below, much to my amusement. Aroonis then challenged me to look down and wave....uh no. I'm not at that comfort level yet!

As with all the challenges that life throws you, I'm glad that I got all huffy about climbing. It allowed me to decide what type of climbing I wanted to do, then take some steps to achieve a more peaceful environment for myself.

I'm excited for this weeks climb. Who knows what will be in store. Perhaps I will see what a 5.10 climb feels like, or I'll try out the new 5.9 climbs and see if I remember how I made it past the tricky spots?? At least I know it will be fun!

Peace out my beautiful friends!

The Big 4-0!!!

2010-02-25T09:13:00.008-08:00

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather, to skid in broadside thoroughly used-up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming: WOW WHAT A RIDE!" ~ Author Unknown

The past year was very much an eye opener for me. I realized that life is short and it's really best not to put off till tomorrow, or next year, to do what you want. Because you never know what's around the corner.

Death has a way of doing that to a person. Well, not their death obviously, but the death of someone near and dear who was far too young. No wonder people go through mid life crises! As you get older you start losing people who shouldn't be dying and you think, holy shite, if it can happen to them, it can happen to me!! WHAT HAVE I DONE WITH MY LIFE SO FAR???

I had some business to finish last year, in other words two Ironman races that I committed myself to, before I could really start to embark on a new path. A new journey, if you will. I just hoped nothing happened to me in the meantime so I could start to make some changes!

One of the changes I was determined to make was to not put things off that I wanted to do. To stop making excuses about why I couldn't do something - money, time, having to do it on my own...

A few weeks ago I decided I wanted to do something for my 40th birthday that wasn't the ordinary. I just wasn't sure what it was. Then Trudy and I drove past some dog sledders when we were coming back from skiing at Mount Shark.

I looked over and said, THAT is going on the bucket list! I would love to do that!!! She looked at me and said, 'So why don't you do that for your birthday? You were looking for something different.'

Of course! What better way to keep the new path of adventure going?! Dog sledding. That's what I'm going to do.... so yesterday for my 40th birthday, I did it.

The first fun part of the adventure was calling the parental unit and letting them know what they would be doing for my birthday. They were going to fly out to help me celebrate, so I wanted them to go dog sledding with me. I just want to say right now how awesome it is that I have parents with a sense of adventure! Hmmm, maybe that's where I got this from?!

They were a little nervous when they heard that I was going to be the driver, but as I mentioned, they were up for it.

Yesterday morning we headed off to the Snowy Owl Sled Dog Tours in Canmore. (If ever you want to try this adventure, I highly recommend them! Here's the link for their site: http://www.snowyowltours.com/)

A bunch of us clamoured into the waiting van where our driver was waiting. The first thing I noticed was how enthusiastic he was about the whole dog sled thing - and he was our driver! The rest of the crew at Snowy Owl are just as happy to be doing what they are doing. A good sign.

We got to Spary Lakes and saw the sleds and dogs. Then we were treated to a 1/2 hour talk about what we need to know and the commands. There weren't many commands....but I was still wondering how the heck I was going to remember it all. I'm sure the parental unit were wondering too as they were going to be bundled in the sled.

We got to pet the dogs and say hello - oh they were adorable. Then we were assigned to sled number 2, which was going to head out behind our guide, Bill. (I like to think of him as Grizzly Bill because of his wonderful beard!) This was a good thing because I knew I could just follow what he was doing!

Getting the parental unit into the sled was enough to have me doubled over in laughter. They were squished into the wee sled, then bundled up with blankets and sealed in. We were all laughing hard.

I'm sure my hands were a bit shaking as I stood on the back of the sled, with my feet on the brake waiting for the lead sled to go. We were unhooked from the post and HIKE! off we went.

Some sledding trivia here:

Much to my disappointment, one does not say "MUSH!" to get the dogs to go. You say 'HIKE or HIKE UP!' in a happy and positive tone, I should add, or else the dogs will ignore you. Really though....they don't need any encouragement to get going, they just want to run.
EASY PUPPIES, means what it sounds like, go slow. This is good for the downhills; however as noted above, they want to run so they don't really ease up. Therefore you have one foot, or both, on the brake and you continue to hang on for dear life.
WHOA, means stop....kind off. Again, referring back to point number one, the dogs like to run. So you say that then you practically jump on the brake and let them drag you for a bit while saying in a happy and positive tone 'WHOA PUPPIES, WHOA!' several times.
They don't use the big siberian huskies for the sleds. Well, they may use a few in the really cold, but here it's not cold enough and the dogs would melt. Also, they are muscle, so you only have a couple of them to help pull. The bigger stronger dogs are put right in front of the sled, not in the lead.
The other dogs are fairly slight in build, but strong!
The lead dogs, 9 times out of 10, are female. Why? Becasue they are smarter, of course. Not to mention they have a better sense of direction and when lost will not be afraid to ask for directions....

When we first took off I wasn't quite sure about the steering. This was evident when we had to go over a wee bridge and I could hear the parental unit squeaking or mumbling something as we almost went into the creek. Hmmm, okay so I have to actually do some work here...

That's another bit of trivia actually, you do have to do some work. Not only steering, but also pushing. You see, when you get to a bit of an incline, you have to hop off the sled, run beside it and push a bit. If you don't, the dogs will look back around at you so you feel shame of having to make them work hard, and if they see you are not doing your fair share, they will stop.

Good thing I'm fit because on the first hill, which was a bit long, I hopped off and started running, hanging on for dear life, and trying to push. This, apparantly, was not enough effort for a couple of the dogs as they turned around to look at me. 'WHAT??? I'm pushing for the love of Pete!' They must have been ok with that, and heard my huffing and puffing breath, because they kept going. Phew. I was sucking wind at the top of the incline and happy to jump back on.

That's when I asked my folks if they wanted to try driving - they both said no, they were happy where they were. Go figure!

There was one really sharp corner that I was pretty nervous about. Bill, our guide, stopped every now and then to check on us as well as to give extra instruction. There was his sled, ours, and a couple of gals from Boston behind us. The rest of the group was slower.

As we got into the corner I leaned to the far right standing on one side of the sled yelling, in a happy and positive voice, 'GEE PUPPIES! GEE!!' (That means go to the right.) Honestly, there was one point where I wasn't sure we wouldn't go on our side...the folks were thinking that too. But we didn't, thanks to my brilliant driving! (Yes, I told the parental unit that too...I'm such a modest child with no need for acknowledgement..)

The gals behind us weren't so lucky and went over on their side. Well, the sled did, with one of the girls. She said she now knows how a bobsledder feels when they go sliding down the track on their side! Bill had us stop and ran to the rescue. Everyone was okay and there were still lots of smiles.

Soon enough we were all set and ready to go again. It was at this point that I realized I wasn't actually in command of the dogs. We had been 'standing' for a while as the other sled was being righted and my dogs got bored. So they started to go. I was on the brake and yelling 'WHOA' in a happy and positive voice, but they could care less. So Bill got his sled going and I yelled, HIKE, in a quiet, yet still positive and happy voice as if it was really me in control.

I said to my parents, 'Uh, I'm in command. Really.' They both laughed at that one and made comments about sure you are, and no, no, the dogs aren't doing whatever they please... Hmpfff.

After an hour of sledding we were back to the start point. I didn't want to stop. It was invigorating being out in the mountains on a dogsled! I was finally getting a grip on the steering - mainly because I was mimicking what Bill was doing on the lead sled. It worked though! I joked about the next step being the Iditarod. Because after one hour of sledding I'm sure I could totally handle it!

The fun didn't stop with the sledding. The dogs were tied up again and it was now time to unleash the parental unit from their sled coccoon. Easier said than done... I was extending an arm to help pull Mum up and she put her other hand down to get leverage. The sleds are fairly deep. Unfortunately for my Pops she almost put all her weight on his nads. I'm happy to report he's no longer singing sorprano.

All of us were laughing so hard at that that I couldn't pull Mum out and she couldn't push herself out, once she found a more appropriate place to put her hand. Thankfully Dad was laughing too....

Once that little drama was done, we went to join the group to share hot apple cider, cookies and stories of our adventures.

What an amazing way to start off the next decade of my life. MUSH PUPPIES MUSH!!! (I just had to say that once!) Oh, and yes, I'm totally ready to quit my day job and become a sled dog guide!!

Here are some photos from our adventure...

Figure 1: Yours truly at Snowy Owl Sled Dog Tours with one of the big dogs...

Figure 2: Me giving scritches to one of the puppies - next thing I new he had his paws on my lap and his face in mine!

Figure 3: The sled.

Figure 4: The parental unit getting bundled up in the sled.

Figure 5: Ready to go - HIKE UP PUPPIES!

Figure 6: The view for the parental unit - puppy arse! Not to mention they flick snow...

Figure 7: My view...

Figure 8: Out on the lake...can you tell the puppies are just waiting to get back to running??

Figure 9: What a view!

Figure 10: Back to the start with our lead dogs, Apache (L), and Excaliber (R).

Figure 11: Our fearless guide Bill, who did an amazing job and made this trip a blast.

Peace out my beautiful friends and go have yourself some adventure!!

Climb On!!!

2010-02-19T08:49:00.004-08:00

"Don't be pushed by your problems; be led by your dreams." -Unknown

It would seem to be that every Friday morning that I wake up, after a Thursday climbing night, I wake up giddy. Make that giddy, exhilirated, happy and high on life.

I have a new love - indoor climbing.

Hmm, maybe I need to change the title of my blog? Indoor climbing isn't an outdoor adventure. Of course it could lead to that. My friend Lisa mentioned she could take me climbing outdoors when I get back to BC. The thought of that made me quiver in me boots when she mentioned it at Christmas. But now that I'm getting a bit more confidence in the gym - I think I just might be open to trying a very very low wall outside...

Back to being inside though. I was back at the Crux last night with the usual merry band of climbers, plus one. My friend Dave joined us as well and showed why it is a good thing to be 6'2" tall when climbing! Once again, it was a brilliant night - despite the dizzying heights, dripping sweat, swiftly beating heart, and slight nausea. Who am I kidding - that was all part of the fun!

Last night as I waited for my turn to climb I chatted with another fellow that was there. He suggested I climb the corner, because I had mentioned climbing on the side, last week, where it was open was a bit too scary for me. Turns out he climbed that side, slipped and was swinging into the stairway! Yikes. I'm sure I would have a heart attack if that were me.

I love the corner climb because I can wedge myself in nicely as I propel myself up. The corner route happens to be the neon green route. Really, one day I will have to record what the name of it is, because the names are hysterical. Anyways, I've tried this route a few times, but only manage a short way up before I just start grabbing onto whatever hold is there.

With the boost of knowing I climbed a route last week though, I decided I would not be beat by some little neon green tape! I should note here that this climb would be much easier if I had another foot of height on me. Heck, even a couple inches of height would be better. Whoever designs the routes must be a 6 footer!!

I will spare all the gory details of the climb, suffice it to say that with the exception of one hold, I made the climb following only the neon green path. To do so was a bit tricky - at one point I heard Jim yell up to me 'Well that's an interesting pose!' I had one leg bent and on a hold in front of me, the other was bent back and upwards on another hold behind me and my arms where twisted and above and behind me. You know, a photo would be worth a thousand words right now rather than trying to describe this!

I was quite happy with my climb and wanted to try the route I did last week with Stephan. Here is one thing I noticed though...when you aren't just climbing willy nilly, it's actually harder! After one climb I was already sweating and my arms could feel it. I really must work on that!

I waited my turn then Jim belayed as I started my climb on the blue route. It was ever so slightly better than last week, but I still struggled at the same point near the ledge. I managed to get onto the ledge and proceeded to do my usual of just standing there looking at the wall, rather than down at the floor to where I could plunge. I could only imagine what I must look like up there...like a kid who's gotten in trouble at school and has to stand in the corner.

As I was just about to get back to climbing, I heard Stephan yell from the other side of the gym 'Do not lower her down till she's done!!' to Jim. It was hilarious. Makes it hard to climb when you are giggling.

I was almost at the top - and stuck. Again. I had tried the move to get to the last hold, but slipped. So now I was just hanging in my harness thinking of what to try. It was then that I heard a voice from behind me asking 'Would you like a hint?' It was one of the guys I had gotten to know since I started coming here with Jim - unfortunately I don't know his name! He was taking a break from his route and literally hanging around watching my progress. He also knows I'm new at this and trying to deal with the height thing.

I said I wanted to try one more time, and then yes, I would like his help. On the next try I heaved myself upward and managed to take hold. It was a far from graceful move however! As I hung on I asked what I should have done. That's when he pointed out where my feet were and how if I had stayed more to the right I'd have better leverage and balance. I am always so grateful for the help I get here!

When we were both on terra firma, I mentioned something about my standing on the ledge staring at the wall. He said he was going to chat with me at that point, but wasn't sure if it was a good idea just in case I was freaking out! Too funny. And here I thought I looked normal?? I explained my inability to look down when I'm climbing and said next time he was welcome to talk to me - but don't expect me to turn around and look for where he is! Once again, I have reinforced the notion that I am a spazz.

I tried one more climb after that, but didn't make it very far. I have come to realize that I have to have an empty stomach when doing this. Completely the opposite to when I was training for triathlon. Funny how that works. I ate a little too late I think so during the last climb, and the one before, I felt sick to my stomach. It kind of ticked me off because I wanted to climb another route, but such is the way of life. Dave was teasing me about being all about the routes now. Oh no, they are creating a mini monster!

So for the last bit of the evening I had fun watching the dudes do their thing and being belay, then it was off to the pub for some more social time.

I have only been with this group for less than two months...but already I know how much I'm going to miss them when I move. It's a wonderful feeling to be in such a fun, encouraging environment again. Something I have missed for a while now. Hmm, maybe I can convince them all to come out to Squamish this summer for a climbing trip!! Not that I will be climbing out there, I don't think, but I would make one heck of a cheerleader!

Peace out, and climb on, my friends!

NO???

2010-02-12T10:42:00.003-08:00

"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it." ~ Charles Swindoll

Last night I ventured out with my climbing teacher/buddy Jim to our Thursday night haunt, The Crux.

Jim and his buds have been climbing here for quite some time - I'm the newbie of the group. Allegedly there are others in the group, but it is usually just Jim, Gunter, Stephan and I. There are a cast of other characters at the gym that I'm beginning to know and say hi to as well. It's a great place to spend a Thrusday night!

Jim and I were the first ones to arrive. I let him climb first because it gives me a chance to relax and get into the climbing mode. In other words, to try and shake off any fear I have about having to climb up the 72 foot wall and possibly plunging to my death!

I noticed last week that I had less fear while I was climbing. My heart rate was fast, but not too fast. My palms were ever so slightly less sweaty - always a good thing when trying to cling for ones life on a fake rock. As well, I wasn't shaking as much. In fact, last week I made it to the top twice! A first for me.

Jim has been fantastic about sharing climbing knowledge with me in little bits so I can digest and apply them. Last week I decided to work on climbing up an actual route, rather than just climbing willy nilly up any old path. My attempt to climb a 5.8 was not successful, but I made it halfway and decided I'd try again this week.

Stephan showed up after us so when it was my time to climb he offered to be my belay. I decided I'd attempt the green 5.8 route that beat me last week. I made it halfway again when my arms just wouldn't work and I couldn't figure out how to go further. I got Stephan to lower me down.

I was then his belay as I watched him climb an amazing 5.12 or 5.13 route. As I belay I try and watch what the guys are doing, not just because I have to in order to make sure I've got the rope tight, but also to try and learn something.

Last week there were a couple of guys that were friggin Spiderman! The way they moved was so graceful, it was hard to look away. They were climbing the 5.13's as well. Both of them were actually sideways at one point, then they'd do a little shift of the shoulders and up they went to the next hold. It was wild.

I continued to attack the green route with my next climb, but again was not sucessful. Double urgh. I decided for my next climb to try another part of the wall which is in the corner. I like being here because I use the corner to help me up. Plus I feel less exposed. The green route had been on the edge of the wall so when I would let go to rest I would swing out into an open area. This got my heart a thump thump thumping again!

Finally. I made it to the top. Granted, I didn't follow a path.

Next stop, a blue route that I think was also a 5.8 or perhaps a 5.9 level. I'd been up this bit of wall several times, but I normally can't follow the blue route the whole way. Again, Stephan was my belay.

At this point my forearms were pumped and my hands were cranky. In other words, I was getting pooped. I haven't yet built a fitness for this!

I started my climb. Stephen helped point out a couple of holds that I could take so I could stay on the blue route. Part way I up I could feel I was getting tired. I kept climbing. I was starting to struggle to keep a grip on the holds, my hands were sweaty from the work. It felt like there was dough in my chalk bag even!

I was happy that I was taking some chances this time. There were a few spots where I wasn't tall enough or agile enough to reach my foot to the next hold. At one point I gingerly placed my foot on a hold that wasn't on the blue route. That's when I heard 'Ah ah!' from below. Crap. No cheating on this one. So I reached up and got a good hold with both hands, pulled myself up while running up the wall until I hit the next blue hold. This put a very big smile on my face. I was making some improvements!

I got part way up and took a break on a ledge there. It was a struggle just to get to the ledge, then when I was on there I realized I was more afraid being on it then hanging on the holds! I also realized I wasn't sure how I'd get back to the rocks. For anyone that is not afraid of heights this may seem odd. Even though I knew I couldn't 'fall' I was scared to reach over, step off the ledge and start climbing again.

I made it just a wee bit further when I asked Stephan to lower me down. I was beat. My arms were killing me, I was sweating like a beast so couldn't get a grip and I was just pooped. His response? 'No.'

So there I am, hanging around 30 feet in the air and thinking 'Seriously???' 'No????' Crap!

Had I been on the solid ground, I could have pulled a little girl hissy fit. As it were I was dangling on a wee rope refusing to look down because it freaks me out. Stephan must have known this.

His next words were, 'Come on, you can do it. Keep going.'

I had no choice. The man was not going to lower me, so there was only one way to go. Up.

I could have taken the easy way out and just climbed. I knew that I couldn't do that though. I'd already gotten heck for trying to step off the route before. He wasn't letting me down because he knew I really wanted to climb a route and stay on the route. Somehow I was going to do this. Of course I'd be mumbling curses the entire rest of the way while doing it. That was a given.

It was brutal. I'd get past a couple of holds and then get stuck. Either I couldn't figure out which way to go, or I couldn't see the hold, or my hands would slip off. My arms were killing me and I had no idea how I was going to pull this off.

I just kept going inch by inch, hold by hold. My heart was racing like I was running a 10k even though I was moving at a snail's pace. I could feel the sweat dripping off my face. Not to mention I could have really used a sip of water at that point. I think I'd breathed in too much chalk and was quite pasty mouthed. Ick.

At long last, I was only one hold away from the top. I tried to get stable footing, but couldn't. I could hold onto the second to last hold, but it was big and offered no where to grasp so I could pull myself up to the last one. I stretched and gave it a go. I slipped. I swung. I swore. I think I let out a bit of a squeak too, as I'm apt to do rather than a full out scream when I fall.

I took a deep breath. Got my footing back. Chalked my hands. Tried again.

Again I slipped off and swung back and forth. Mumble, mumble, mumble.

Stephan called from below 'You can do it! You just need to get it and hold on.' Which meant that the fact that I TOUCHED the last hold didn't count. I had to actually be hanging on to it and stable before he'd lower me. Mumble, mumble, mumble.

One more time. REACH!

I got it. I got the friggin hold! I pulled up and was stable. I let out a 'whoop!'. It was such an amazing feeling!! I couldn't believe that I had climbed a route!!! When I got back to terra firma I high fived Stephan and thanked him for not lowering me. I didn't tell him I had taken his name in vain a few times while dangling from above.

I am still on a bit of a high from that wee triumph. What a great way to spend a Thursday night! I'm sure I'll give that route another go next week and perhaps it won't take me as long?? Or maybe I won't slip as much?? Either way it will be a hoot!

Peace out my fabulous friends!

Too Hot For the HOT TUB!!!

2010-02-11T07:20:00.004-08:00

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. ~ Redd Foxx

Last night my buddy Gareny and I decided to check out the 'new' yoga studio and it's hot hatha yoga class.

I'd been to hot yoga only once before. It was a place located in the city and it had carpeted floors. I made sure that no part of my flesh ever touched the carpet and held my breath whenever my face came near the floor. Gack.

I'm happy to report this studio was very clean and did not have a carpeted floor. (Seriously, who does that?!)

The hatha yoga is a class where you hold a series of poses, rather than do a flow like movement of them. I think I like the flow style better, but the poses in this class were definitely a good challenge.

Of course the first thing you notice when you enter the room is the heat and humidity. For some reason I think she said the room was heated to 150C...my logical brain now thinks that is an incorrect number and 150C was just how it felt in there! It took me a bit to not feel like I was suffocating.

Garn and I were in the front of the class literally looking right at the wall. There were three rows of people with only about 6 inches between our mats. Think can of sardines. Nothing like a lot of people breathing and sweating to make a classroom all cozy!

As we were discovered to be new to the class we were sent to the middle row. Not a biggie, but this meant Garn and I could be not beside each other and really, when you are taking a new class you want your friend right there with you so you can roll your eyes, make squeaky 'I'm dying' noises and whatnot. So that part did suck.

The positions we were holding were pretty challenging. Most of them I think I've done at one time or another, some I hadn't. Within about five minutes of the class sweat was dripping into my eyes, nose, mouth and on the mat. Nothing like holding some sort of inverted pose and feeling sweat slowly trickle into your nose. Ick. I bet the inventors of water torture took a hot yoga class first and thought 'AHA! I know a new torture technique we can use!'

The hardest part of the hot yoga, other than the smuthering heat, is trying to keep a grip on yourself. How the heck is one supposed to stand on one foot, bend the other knee and grab the foot or ankle then extend that leg straight out in front of you with sweaty hands and sweaty ankles?? I NEED the friction of skin gripping skin in order to do moves like that! Wait, maybe that's cheating? Still - I NEED the help!

After all the standing poses we got into the mat or seated/lying down stuff. This is where our instructor became the shivasna tease. After all the standing poses she said to lie in shivasna. My mind thought 'Ah yes, I did it. I survived hot yoga...' Unfortunately, within 30 seconds of shivasna we were to do a sit up, roll over and 'strike a pose'. Dang. More to go.

In between all of the mat poses we held shivasna. And every time she called that my mind was tricked into thinking we were done, only to find out I had another contortion to do. I was ready to yell out 'TEASE!' to her, but figured perhaps that wouldn't be the best thing in a mindful yoga class.

The worst pose, although not the hardest, was the camel. This is where you are on your bent knees but sitting straight up. Then you lean your body backwards. Apparantly this opens up the heart shakra and if you have any issues going on you will feel dizzy, or nauseaus, or like crying..

Within a second of holding this of pose I thought I was going to hurl. Wave after wave of nausea hit me. My only thought, CHILD POSE AND DO NOT CHUNDER! There is just not enough space in the class for chucking cookies!

I tried the pose again as instructed, but again, huge vomitus feelings arose, so I just stuck with child pose and repeating the mantra, 'do not puke, do not puke' oh and 'never drink chai before the class, never drink chai before the class'.

After 1.5 hours of heat, stretching, sweating, contorting and nausea we were done. I was soaked, my hair looked like a rats nest (mental note, next time put it in braids and clip braids together - pigtails are not sufficient), and I was still feeling queasy.

I sat outside the class and waited for Garn. I think my face said it all - or perhaps it was the colour of it?! Garn laughed at the sight of me. The class kicked my butt. Was I to be defeated? Heck no! I've done Ironman dang it! In the famous words of Ahnold 'I'll be back!'. Only next time I'll skip the pre-class chai tea....

A footnote to my hot yoga saga...I must have a TON of toxins in my bod because I was feeling queasy most of the night and into the morning till I ate. I also could really 'feel' the workout I got, which is a good thing. I'm hoping this will help heal the ol' glute/back issue as well.

Until next time I shall consume vast quantities of water in preparation for the challenge that is hot yoga.

Namaste my beautiful friends!

Yoga In The Pass???

2010-02-08T09:53:00.002-08:00

"Friendship isn't a big thing. It's a million little things." ~ Unknown

This weekend I made the trip down to the Pass. Crowsnest Pass that is. It's a wee little area made up of wee little towns. One of which my friend Julie, whom I adore, lives in.

I love heading down there. Julie and I have this unspoken comfortableness between us. Considering we've only gotten to see each other a handful of times since we met, you'd think we'd known each other forever!

This visit was no different. Well, except for one thing - she is training for her two Ironman's this year, and for once, I am not training for anything. Oh the bliss that is non training...but I digress.

I had sent a note beforehand asking what her schedule was so that I could perhaps plan around it. Then I had a thought - does the Pass have a yoga studio?

This may not seem like a strange question, but you have to understand where Julie lives. Her little town has a smattering of houses, a rock slide, and a gas station. Oh, and a liquor store. Of course there is a liquore store. In Alberta, even in a town with a population of 5 there will be a liquor store!

However, the next town over, which is only a kilometer or so and only slightly bigger than Julies town, does have a yoga studio. A fact that Julie was unaware of until I questioned. So on Saturday, while Julie was busy biking, running, then biking again, I decided to take in a yoga class in the Pass.

I liked the vibe as soon as I got there. Yup, us peace, love and granola folk can be found no matter where you are - just look for the nearest health food store or yoga studio! The teacher was very welcoming. At least I knew I wasn't crashing a class!

This class was different then when I've been to before, rather than being a flow class it was one where we held several different poses. My low back/arse is STILL causing me grief so I was all for holding some poses in the hopes that it might help things back there.

Most of them I did fairly well in. There was one that was quite cool. Basically, you are on your hands (think handstand) a certain distance from the wall, but you are bent at the waist so your feet are resting on the wall. To look at the profiel of someone in this pose they would be a right angle! It was a tough one to do, but very fun. I was thankful too that my hands didn't slip so I didn't crush my noggin.

The class was an hour and a half long and I felt wonderfully zen at the end of it. When I got home Julie still had quite a bit of a workout to go so I made myself comfortable on the couch with my book. Ahhhh. Bliss. While she sweated millions of calories, I lounged in my zen state on the couch, reading and napping intermittently. It was great!

The next day I joined Julie for a swim at the pool several wee towns over. Julie had mentioned a temperature issue at this pool. Not only with the water but also with the air in the building. I was shocked when I slipped in the water...it was like being in a bath or hot spring. Gack.

Julie was already into her laps so I had no chance to look at her and say 'what the heck??' I started on my laps. Within the first 100 m I felt claustrophobic from the heat of the water. It was weird. I stopped and stood up just to cool down a bit. Then I started up again.

As soon as I tried to take the pace up a notch it felt like my insides were going to boil, so I slowed down. At one point I met Julie at the end of the pool. That's when I said 'what the heck??' Apparantly the pool water that day was 29.5C! Our pool is a cool 21C. I couldn't believe it. Julie said it was like that a lot. I swear, this is what makes her such a touch competitor in Ironman!!! Swimming in bath water, and running/biking in gall force winds! Yikes.

I only stayed in for 45 minutes - that was enough for me. I was afraid to stay in longer for fear of my skin being boiled and falling off!

It was an amazing weekend in the Pass. Friday evening I got to meet Julie's buds - Cath and Jase in Fernie, who are brilliant and have an incredible B&B, which I'm going to shamelessly plug: http://www.cinnamonbearlodge.net/, and of course there was seeing the 'kids' agian, Peanut (my furry namesake), Mandalay and Toby - Julies furry companions. Not the least of which was getting to hang with Julie for a while in between her workouts.

Because I will be moving from this fair province in a couple of months , I knew as I was saying goodbye to Julie that I may not see her for a long time. At least not till her race at the end of August in Penticton. Needless to say it took everything in me not to burst into tears as I walked out the door. I will admit though that there were a few tears as I drove away, and as I was driving home.

Oh the joy of making changes in ones life....but that's a story for another time!

Peace out my lovely friends!

CRASH!!!

2010-02-01T18:53:00.002-08:00

'Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you.' ~ Erma Bombeck

Okay, so the other night I agreed to attend a yoga class with my friend, and merman, Garney. My back and right glute have not been pleased with me of late, so I figured a yoga class would be just the trick to try and coax my muscles out of being in a constant butt clench so I may actually be able to bend forward without letting out a cry of pain.

The class was being held here in town, a bonus, and by a friend and massage therapist, Pat. I'd heard Pat's classes were a bit challenging, but I was up for the challenge. And if not, I could always just blend into the background...

We arrived early to make sure we got parking. As we walked in Garney says to Pat 'I found this blond gal so brought her in.' I thought Pat would of course welcome the sight of me because he knows me - alas he had a rather unsure look on his face.

So he says, 'This class is full, so you may not be able to stay.' Oooooh. Well now, don't I feel like a knob. Of course I shoot a look at Garney. 'Duuuude!' So I don't lay my mat out, but rather go to the back of the class (my favourite place) and sit with Garney and another lady to see if it fills up. They both reassure me that last week it wasn't full and this week will likely be the same.

I watch as the spots dwindle...except for one. Then Pat starts talking, so I grab my mat and snatch up the last remaining spot and give thanks for not having to put head down and quietly slink out of the class embarassed.

I gave thanks too soon. The last and final particpant of the class hurried in. Which meant I had to get up and out of her spot. Again, I shot Garney a look. Or rather 'the look'. Which really meant, 'Okay, now you are in trouble buster and by the way I was the one who drove here so have fun getting home.'

Pat then says, 'Susi, why don't you come up here' and points to where I can put my mat. My thoughts, 'Oh holy hannah please no. Please do not put me in the MIDDLE of the class. I'm the BACK OF THE CLASS girl! I'm the 'make sure my butt has nothing and no one behind it but a wall' girl. I'm the 'do not want to be the centre-of-attention' girl!

So there I was, adjusting my mat in the middle of the class trying to think of how I could escape this fate. I faced east-west. On my left (north) side I had eight people facing me directly. On my right (south) side I had another eight people facing me directly. At this point I just wanted to be sucked into a vortex in the floor until the class was over.

That's when I remembered....yoga is about letting go of ego. Deep breath. Gulp. Letting go of ego now....except for the fact that I'm going to make darned sure my downward dog is the best! Heh.

We started in on the sun salutations. It didn't take long for me to forget there was anyone else in the room because the salutations were so fast my heart was beating faster and I was breathing quicker than my normal yoga breathes. Wow, this was athletic!

We went through a few iterations of that, then added on. I was actually quite pleased with my ability. I haven't done a lot of yoga lately. My back wasn't too bad at first, but towards the end it was complaining that I wasn't letting go of my ego enough and perhaps pushing myself a little too much.

I defintely let go of ego when we got into the binding poses. I just have too much flesh and muscle to wrap my arms around my legs and to the back! I did try. At least for the first few poses. Then I gave into my back aching and just did modified poses.

The class lasted about 1.5 hours. At the end of it I gathered my gear, shot Garney another look for good measure, then went to pay Pat for the torture. I mean class. It was then he said to me 'Uhm, Susi, there is a waiting list for this class. If you'd like to sign up for the next one that may work out.'

A waiting list?! Holy pete I just crashed a friggin yoga class! Ha! Boy did I feel like a nerd. Of course, I feel that way on a regular basis so really it wasn't any skin off my nose. Granted as soon as Pat said that to me I immediately blamed Garney. What are friends for, right?

So there will be no more Tuesday night classes. Likely just as well as I think those classes are a little more than what I'm looking for. I did check out the schedule for the other yoga studio we have in town (go figure - a cowboy town of 14,000 people has TWO yoga studios!) and they have a bunch of classes that I can check out. Including a hot yoga one. So that's what I'll do.

Hopefully this will heal my back/butt issues. Speaking of which, I better go stretch that area out a bit. Aummmm....

Peace out my lovely friends!

Ten Things That Make Me Happy...

2010-01-25T19:14:00.002-08:00

"Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything, you will be happiest." ~ Sri Chinmoy

Okay so I was pseudo tagged by Keith to write ten things that make me happy. My thoughts, 'Only ten?!' Where to begin?? I think I have some top ones narrowed down though, so here they go.

In no particular order:

8. Hot chocolate with mini marshmellows on top.

2. All creatures great and small.

10. Sharing a deep belly laugh with my family and/or friends.

7. Sitting with the parental unit and having a good cuppa.

4. The feel of the warm beautiful sun on my face.

1. Being greeted with unconditional love by a furry friend (or semi-conditional love as is the case with felines).

6. Smiling Buddha.

3. Being in, on or near the ocean with all it's wonderful sights and smells.

9. Hugging a tree.

5. Smiling warmly at a stranger and seeing a light come into their eyes as they smile back.

Now I suppose with these types of lists, one must tag another. However, I think this is a good exercise for one and all to do, regardless if you write it down or not.

So...what's your on your list? What makes you happy?

Peace out my wondefully happy friends!

Soul Food...

2010-01-24T19:37:00.002-08:00

"Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you." ~ Oscar Wilde

Balance. I am constantly striving for balance in life. Body, spirit, mind. So far I'm not doing too badly on the body and mind part. I have a set schedule of work now - important when you work from your home. And I am working out regularly - also important when you don't have a race schedule and are no longer calling yourself a triathlete.

What I have been lacking in, sadly, is the spirit part of the equation. Okay, so I practice mindfulness throughout the day. It still doesn't touch me deep in the root of my soul. Rather, it's a constant reminder that I need to go deeper...

One step I took to remedy the situation was to return to my beautiful sangha. I hadn't been going as I hadn't been in town to go, but I knew I was needing a good dose of meditation - not to mention the energy my sangha brings.

So I went. And I sat. It was heavenly. Only one problem there though...it would seem that I only sit (ie sitting meditation) when I'm with the group. Here's the silly thing - I know it brings me great peace and it feeds my soul/spirit, and yet I don't sit on my own! Why is this?? I have done it before, but I never seem to keep up the practice.

Therefore, I'm going to put this out there, I am going to bring my sitting meditation time up to 2-3 times a week. There, I wrote it so now I have to be accountable for it. This means one night with the sangha, and two more times ON MY OWN. (Gulp.) Oh, and I'll just confess right now that I though about sitting meditation a lot this week, but never managed to get it done. Hopefully the accountability thing will work. Wait, that doesn't sound too committed does it?

Anyways, the other method of feeding ones soul, at least my soul, is with yoga. It had been so long since I've been to a class that when Keith's wife, Linda, asked if I wanted to join her, I jumped at the chance. The class was held in a wonderful little space in an area that one would think least likely to find a yoga space. I was curious how this would all unfold.

Of course as soon as I walked in the room and saw all the Buddhist statues, especially Avalokiteshvara, I knew I was in the right spot.

The moves our Yogi, Helen, had us doing were exactly what I needed to work out some issues both internally and externally. It was pure heaven. I'm actually going to be going back again this Friday for a class and, mindfully, can't wait! I'm also going to try out one of the local yoga studios in my wee town this week. One of my pool mermen, Garney, mentioned the class is on Tuesday nights, so I'm going to attend this week!

There you have it. Soul food. Without it, one cannot strike a balance in life. At least I can't.

Peace out my beautiful friends.

How High Up???

2010-01-10T19:01:00.004-08:00

"Don't be afraid to go out on a limb. That's where the fruit is." ~ H. Jackson Browne

I finally made it back into the pool last Thursday morning. It was my first swim of 2010 and I managed a solid 2000 m. Huh. In hindsight I should have swum 2010 m!

The best part of going to the pool is seeing my fellow mermen and mermaids there. It was so good seeing the gang there. It's funny because even though it can seem like a bit of a social event, having a little chat or laugh here and there, they actually push me to swim better. Just knowing Sue is at my feet or Garney is pushing off at the same time in the next lane, or Chris is checking to see if Sue and I are chatting rather than swimming! That keeps me going and trying to improve.

I can't express how much I'm going to miss them when I move back to BC. Maybe I can pack them all up and take them with me?!

The evening held other adventures with me...this time on land. Sort of.

I had mentioned to my fellow search and rescue (SAR) buddy, Jim, that I was hoping to do more indoor climbing this year as a way to face my fear of heights. I've been only twice before - the last time in October.

He has been climbing for years so offered to have me join him and his group on Thursdays. They climb at The Crux in Calgary. I'd never been to the Crux so I looked it up on the internet to see what it was like.

Oh, look at that....the Crux's claim to fame being one of the tallest climbing gyms in North America. Exactly how high up is one of the tallest climbing gyms?? It didn't take me long to find that information. Holy hannah, it has 72 ft tall walls!! Gulp.... This could be interesting.

Jim and I carpooled to the gym and I mentioned again my fear of heights but my enthusiasm for learning how to climb. He was undaunted and enthusiastic. Just wait till we get to the gym I thought!

We got there, I signed my life away and got ready for the belay test. For anyone who hasn't climbed indoors before, the belay test is essentially where the gym tests the fact that you know how to hold on to the rope that your partner is dangling from and that even if they fall you WILL NOT LET GO! Oh, and also it tests that you know how to tie yourself in using a figure eight knot that won't undo while you are dangling from a 'make my cry' height.

Before Sean, my tester, came by, Jim showed me the gym. This is what it looks like from the ground...
My knees started to shake and I wasn't even off the ground yet!

It was test time. I tied my knot fine. Then it was time for Jim to start climbing as I belayed. (Note: they make your buddy do the climbing so you REALLY won't want them to fall and hate you forever!) He started climbing and Sean said 'Ok let go of the rocks' to Jim. He was good enough to do this while Jim wasn't too far off the ground.

Jim let go. But I held on and he didn't fall.

Then Sean instructed Jim to start climbing again and to let go 'whenever'. The bigger test. Making sure you don't let go of the rope and drop your partner if he/she takes a slip.

Jim can climb pretty fast. I was watching like a hawk waiting for him to 'fall'. He was up a fair distance when vwoop! He let go. Next thing I knew my feet weren't touching the ground and I was sailing through the air towards the wall! Aiyeeee! I stopped myself from hitting the wall by putting my legs straight out and hitting it with my feet. You'll be happy to know, as Jim was, that I never go of the rope through all of this. Even though I couldn't touch the mats. Phew.

I even had to lower Jim while I was hanging around. Both of us made it to the mats safe and sound though. Honestly, it was a good thing to have happen so I know what it feels like. Just a side note; they have tethers in the floor so you can attach yourself in order to prevent that from happening when you are belaying someone heavier than you.

I passed the test so now it was my turn to climb. I started climbing but almost from the start my heart was pounding and my hands were sweaty. I made it maybe half way and I asked Jim to lower me. I had to get a grip on my fear! When I got down to terra firma I apologized for being such a wuss. Jim said not to worry and asked if he could give me a couple of pointers that help me. Of course I accepted!

We moved over to another spot in the gym so Jim could climb. Then it was my turn again. This time armed with my tips I had a much better climb. I was still shaking a bit and had to stop at one point to get my breathing under control. I started climbing and was near the top when I slipped. It still amazes me that I slipped because normally I'm clinging to the rocks.

I gotta say, I have no idea how guys climb. You see when I slipped, my harness hiked up nice and close on me. Not a big deal for me because I have girl junk. And girl junk can handle some squishing. Guy junk though? How is it they fall and get squished and don't let out a blood curtling scream is beyond me. I mean that harness was SNUG people. And that's all I'll say about I that.

Now here is something I am most proud of. I didn't scream when I fell! Granted I did emit a rather loud EEP! which Jim claims he heard aprproximately 65 ft below. Still though, it was not a scream! I kept climbing and I managed to climb almost to the top! My arms were tired though and I couldn't find a good foot hold so asked to be lowered. Dang, I was only one rock away!!

The next time up Jim suggested I let go and 'hang around' a bit to give my arms a break. Riiiight. LET GO?! I knew it would help though. So I tried again and when I got tired I yelled 'take' and then let go. I thought for sure my heart was going to pump right out of my chest. I could hear Jim saying 'okay, now shake your arms a bit!' ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS MAN?? So I shook them. Kind of. Then I grabbed hold of the rocks. Then let go and shook again. And I didn't die. Always a good thing.

I am still not sure how I managed all this without fainiting, but I did. I never did make it to the top - I tried hard though! I need to build some strength up I think. I was close twice though and to me that counts. Plus, it gives me something to strive for.

The gang meets every Monday and Thursday. I can't go on Mondays, but I will be going on Thursdays. At some point I will make it to the top! Then maybe I can try climbing just the taped rocks!

By comparison the rest of the weekend was rather tame. I managed a solid set of legs and back (P90X) and the rest of the time I spent in a First Aid course. So other than the fact that I had various body parts in splints, there are no other adventures to report.

Peace out my friends.

Aaaahh...gaaaarrghh...

2010-01-06T19:31:00.002-08:00

"An obstacle may be either a stepping stone or a stumbling block." -Unknown

Monday morning I woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed ready for the day. I got out of bed and had a big old arms waaaay up in the air stretch...aaaaaaaah. In the blink of an eye my aaaaah... went to gaaargh! Or something like that. Something in my back, between my ribs to be exact kinda went 'ping!'. After trying to move it would appear that I had lost most of my capability to inhale and to twist.

Oh for the love of pete! This was supposed to be my first "offical" day of starting P90X. Okay, I had dabbled with it over Christmas, but I came up with a plan you see...

It all started when I realized last year that I needed to simplify my life. I needed balance. Mind, body and spiritual balance that is. I had mulled over how exactly to achieve this and came up with the following - I need a schedule.

Yes, yes. I know. Being on a schedule was rather loathsome for me last year. However, I realized it was loathsome because I had these big almighty goals and I always felt like if I strayed from the schedule that the world would end. This year though...no goals. Well, not 'no goals'. I mean I have the goal to be healthy, and there's the whole mind/body/spirit balance thing, but no goals that would cause guilt or world devastation if I faltered...

So. The plan. The plan is this... I will get up early and do P90X during the week, with the exception of some Tuesdays and Thursdays where I will swim (because I got pretty good at swimming last year and I'd hate to lose that). On Thursday nights, I shall climb! Indoor climbing that is (because I started that last year and I love how it makes one feel like wee child again).

As for the weekends...well the weekends are a free for all! As it is winter and rather snowy out, I shall xcountry ski! Or perhaps I will try some snowshoeing. Maybe even get in a little downhill. And maybe, just maybe, I will do nothing. Yep, you read that correctly. I will just chill. Read a book. Go for a walk. Nourish my soul a bit. Then when summer comes....well, we'll figure that out when the time comes.

Right. Now that that's all explained - back to the 'my official first day!' part. I tried to twist a bit, to see if anything loosened up. This movement caused a very sharp intake of air and a 'garp' sound to emerge. I was not to be discouraged though. I very carefully put on my workout gear, then went downstairs and got the DVD in. The program for the day was 'Chest and Back plus Abripper X'.

Chest and Back eh...oh my. What the heck, I thought. Maybe this would loosen things up a bit? Afterall, the twisting test did...uh...nothing. Oh well.

So I started the warmup...gingerly. So far so good. Sheesh. Lots of pushups in this workout! Chest workout indeed! Things were still ok though. I don't have the strength to do chin ups yet, so rigged my exercise band so I could do pulldowns instead. All was working quite well. In fact, it was only when I had to get up off the floor (where I sat doing the pulldowns) that caused further sharp intakes of air and garp noises. Not bad!

I managed to get through the program AND do the abripper X, although I couldn't do all of the exercises due to the back. The rest of the day I still had discomfort, and couldn't inhale deeply, but it wasn't worse than it was.

That night I was about to get into bed when I did a big arms in the air stretch and heard 'POP!' The pop noise came from the vicinity of my ribs and spine. I kind of stood there for a bit with my arms in the air afraid to take them down. Finally I did. Huh. What's this? I can move more. I can twist without making 'garp' noises! Cool!

So who knows what was going on back there, but all seems well now. Thankfully.

The next day I got through the Plyometrics DVD. I'm not a very bouncy gal I have come to realize. In fact, the term 'white girls can't jump' is really all about me. I did try my best though and my legs were burning so I had to have been doing something right. Later on in the day I started to feel Mondays workout and the mornings workout as well. It was all good though.

Today my alarm went off signalling me it was time to P90X. I was kind of sleepy though so in the name of balance and making sure all systems get equal time - I decided to skip the workout and sleep for another hour. What the heck!

I think I can really get used to not having any race plans or schedules this year! Aaaaaaah.

Peace out my lovely friends!

Lynn Canyon...

2010-01-01T11:33:00.007-08:00

"The person who lives life fully, glowing with life's energy, is the person who lives a successful life." -Daisaku Ikeda

The day after my little skate ski adventure I could feel all that I had done to my muscles. Come to think of it, make that the evening of my skate ski adventure I could feel it...

I was out with some friends enjoying a feast of sushi - no surprise there! After the allotted two hour limit of staying there, we were kindly asked to pay up. (Fear not, we made the most of the all you can eat in 2 hours guidelines!!) After dinner I tried to stand and realized this activity was going to be a) a challenge and 2) painful. And it wasn't because I ate my weight in sushi either! I was actually walking worse than my friend John, who was there and who was recovering from knee surgery! I even let him go down the stairs, to get out of the restaurant first as I figured I'd hold him up. Sheesh.

It was very apparant that my muscles were not used to doing activities like P90X or skate skiing. How terribly sad!

So when I woke up and realized there was the distinct possibility I'd need someone to help me out of bed, I decided I needed to do something to get my legs moving and hopefully flushing out some of the guck that was causing the pain. What better activity than walking!

At that point crawling was more what I wanted to do, but the challenge of walking beckoned so I asked my Moeder (mom) if she wanted to accompany me to Lynn Canyon.

I have been wanting to go to Lynn Canyon for the longest time. Even in the summer when I was out visiting. Don't know why - was just being pulled there - so I had to go. Unfortunately I never made it out, till now.

My Moeder took me to this area when I was a wee one. First you cross a suspension bridge - which has always been a bit of a nemesis to me. Then there are trails you can take that either bring you to some falls if you turn right, or a pool of glacier water if you turn left. When I was a kid we'd head to the glacier pool for a dip when it was hot out. One only really needed to dip a toe in to be refreshed because the water was that cold! It was also the most beautiful green colour and crystal clear.

Today we wouldn't be swimming in the pool, but walking to it under the protection of trees that stood as tall as the eye could see. If there was any question about the Lower Mainland of BC being a rain forest - one only needed to visit this area to realize it was true. Everything is green, green, green. I LOVE IT!

I managed to make it over the suspension bridge quite well. My technique is to look down at the bridge deck and not anywhere that I can see how high up we were and how much it would hurt to fall on the rocks and river below. Eeep. Luckily there was no one jumping up and down to make the bridge do a Galloping Gerdy move. I would have had to plow past them!

It actually didn't take to long to trek to the pool of water where the cliffs are. I spent most of the walk chatting with Moeder and taking deep breaths because it smelt so wonderful in there. I looked up at where people used to cliff jump, but it's grown over now. So I'm not sure if anyone still does that. It's rather tricky as there is a heck of a current that will pull you under, not to mention several rocks jutting out at rather inconvenient locations. Needless to say, there have been a few to lose their lives while trying to gain a spot in the Darwin awards.

After milling about there for a bit, I decided we should hike up the stairs nearby and see what's there. The stairs weren't installed when I was a kid, but I guess they wanted to make sure people stayed on one path rather than plodding along willy nilly. Not to mention it's rather steep so the stairs are quite handy.

After taking the first few steps I realized this might not be the best idea as my legs were complaining. As always, I ignored their complaints and kept going up, and up, and up. Not sure how many steps there were in this set of stairs, but I counted the second set, which were shorter, and there were 80 steps. So I figured we climbed at least 180 steps. Not too shabby I think!

There was more wilderness at the top that we walked through. We weren't really sure where we were going but managed to find our way back down to the bridge on a loop trail. No stairs on the way down either. Just before the entrance to the bridge we saw a wee doggie (with a very attractive raincoat, I might add) making a break for it - AWAY from the bridge. Seems I'm not the only one with a bit of trepidation! They finally got the little dog on the bridge and he and I pretty much raced along side each other to get to the other side. Thing is I didn't have a leash on me holding me back so I was able to beat him. Suckah!

After our walk we headed to a new little cafe they have in the park area. There is also an ecological building and learning centre too. I figured we deserved to have a treat so we got two hot cocoa's with chocolate drizzle and mini marshmellows. Very yummy. A good thing they were so good as the two of them cost a total of $9. I managed not to say 'Seriously???' to the young girl who robbed me. I mean, took my money.

My legs felt a bit better after the walk. The main point though was I had a great day with me Moeder and loved every minute of walking in the woods.

Some of the day in photos...

Photo 1: The Bridge...yipes....

Photos 2, 3 and 4: Everything is so GREEN!

Photo 5: Me Moeder with her fuzzy ear muffs!

Photo 6: A snippet of the river that runs through here.

Photos 7 and 8: The pool...check out the colour of that water!

Photo 9: This was the short section of stairs...

Photo 10: Looking down...gulp!

Photo 10: The reward! Yum.

Peace out my wonderful friends!

Friskie Pudding...

2009-12-29T13:54:00.007-08:00

“What you are is what you have been. What you’ll be is what you do now." -Buddha

I've been 'home' on the West Coast for the past couple of weeks now. I've been doing wee workouts here and there...trying to get back into a routine as well as working off any flab that may be accumulating due to all the chocolate consumption. By the end of the holiday season I may just be sick of chocolate. Uh, yeah. Right.

Anyways, I have been on a couple long walks, one with my friend Doris along the English Bay seawall, and one with the parental unit on Christmas Day. Aside from that I brought my P90X DVDs along so I could get in some strength training.

The first DVD I threw in was the Back and Legs. I managed only 30 minutes of it before I started to feel every muscle in my glutes, hammies and quads start to rip. Hmm, this could mean two things. One I'm not yet recovered from the race or two I am sadly and completely out of shape already.

I think I'll just blindly believe the first, although it's more likely the second is more accurate.

I did manage to do the hour long Arms and Shoulders workout, much to my ego's liking. I then attempted the Legs and Back workout once again. A week had passed so I figured I might be able to handle a few minutes longer.

I was pleasently surprised to find I could do the entire hour workout this time. Even though I couldn't go as low in the squats in the last half hour - as my Mother kindly and jokingly pointed out to me from the sidelines.

That evening I realized that perhaps I shouldn't have challenged myself so much because I was having some difficulty standing, sitting, walking. You know, the usual stuff. Even more daunting was the fact that I was going to go skate skiing the next day with my friends Lance and Don. Hmmm.

I woke up the next day excited about my upcoming skate ski adventure. I had tried it once, for about 15 minutes, with my friends skis, but I'd never gone out with them. The plan was that I'd meet the boys on Cypress Mountain, ski with them for a bit, then take some lessons.

First things first though, I had to convince my legs that they a) wanted to move and 2) could support my weight as I stood or walked. I won't even bother with the gory details of how difficult it was to get into a sitting position when I had to use the loo. Sigh. Now I understand why those bars in the washrooms can be so handy!

I made it to the hill, got my ticket, signed up for an 1.5 hour lesson, got my skis then proceeded to have a yummy hot cocoa as I waited for the boys. They arrived, we got our gear on and started to head out.

Don knows how to skate ski so he was off like a shot. Lance hadn't skate skied before, but because he's annoyingly, I mean admiringly, adept at all things athletic he picked up what to do and was off like a slower shot. Then there was me.

Okay now, this should be like skating right? Which I don't know how to do, but have watched a lot of so I should be able to fake it... AAGGGHHH. Dang these skis are slippery. No problem, I have poles and very strong upper body so I will just put all my force into the poles to heave myself up this tiny incline...

The guys decided to go left at the 'interesection' and head straight up the mountain. I am not kidding when I say up the mountain. This trail was ridiculously straight up. 'Uh, guys....' I hollered as they were quite a bit ahead of me. 'I'm going to go this way - you know following the green EASY path and I'll meet you at 1pm after my lessons.'

As they are very sweet friends, they stopped where they were headed back to me and said they'd come with me on the easy trail. I welcomed the company, but did feel badly that they weren't heading out on a more challenging ski that would be better suited to their ability. Ah well. They didn't complain.

So we made our way up a lesser incline, with Don circling back now and then to see how I was getting along. I refrained from stating I wanted my cross country skis and kept going. I knew my arms were going to hate me the next day, about as much as my legs did from my P90X adventure the day before.

I managed to get going a little bit, with some 'Ah! Whoa! Eeek!' moments thrown in for good measure. I made sure they knew which 'AAAH!' scream meant I had fallen and which meant I had teeter tottered on my skis, but managed to stay upright. Thankfully my ninja princess skills came in handy and I managed to stay upright the entire day!

Here's one reason why I love cross country, and now skate skiing, so much. The people. As I floundered my way along I had mini chats with some very kind and encouraging people. It made the experience a lot of fun. Not to mention the boys were also very helpful to me and kept close by and offered pointers.

I had a ton of fun going down the hills after all the climbing...at least I had that skill. Heck, I even stopped to help a trio of girls figure out how to ski down a hill, even though I was flailing my way up it! They trusted my advice and made their way down the hills, which was very cool.

Although I have fairly good downhill cross country skills I didn't trust my skate skis when it came to the massive downhill section we ended up at. Ironically it was the same big hill that I said I wasn't going to go up at the beginning of our day. I think I was tricked! I started to go down, but then couldn't get an edge and got nervous so I did what any egomaniac wouldn't do, I took off my skis and walked down to a section that wasn't as vertical. Then I skied the rest of the way down. Meh, sometimes you gotta be a wimp!

At 11:30 I bid the boys adieu so they could get going on a more challenging adventure and I met up with my ski instructor. Unfortunately for me he was a rather serious young man. So not much for me cracking jokes. Luckily the other woman in my 'class' did have a sense of humour so we joked while he wasn't within earshot.

It was the usual joking that people do in order to get over the fact they truly suck at whatever thing they are attempting. At least at that moment...cause you know you will likely figure it out sooner or later.

As it turns out the 1.5 hours of skiing I had prior to my lesson did help me out and with a few pointers and trials I was able to ski better. I will not be trying out for the next Olympic skate ski team, but I think I might just have a chance at a good ski the next time I go out. At least I managed to go up the hills more efficiently - for which my arms thank me.

By the end of the class I was in desperate need for food, hot cocoa and to take off my skis. My legs were definitely done. The boys were done for the day as well, so we brought back our rentals and headed for some grub. If you are at Cypress for skiing, or for the Olympics as some events will be there, I highly recommend the Lodge. The food was great and fairly reasonable considering the location.

Oh, I have also decided that my professional skate ski name will be Friskie Pudding. The name came about because my rental skis had a rental number written on them, along with the name 'Friskie'. Lance's skis had 'Bootylicious' on them. Personally, I am thinking that is a more fitting name, but hey, as the Stones said, 'You can't always get what you want'. Oh, the Pudding part came from our ski passes. The word Pudding was on them...no idea why.

Some photos from our fun day (for all those in freezing, icky locations right now you will notice it was all blue sky and sunshine....oh and 5C....I love it here!).

Figure A: There was very low cloud coverage that day, so up on the mountain you couldn't see much of Vancouver. This was just before the boys descended down the hill. (Actually they went down a bit, then I called them back because I'm mean and so I could take a photo as it looked like they were about to ski on the clouds.

Figure B: Me and the boys, that's Don on the left and Lance on the right. Actually, Lance's real name is Andrew, but we call him Lance. Long story, but a good one! They'd already put their gear away as they waited for me to be done my lesson. Note that we are squinting because it was so SUNNY! (and warm!)

Figure C: Lance, striking a pose.

Figure D: Yours truly and Don, also striking a pose!

Figure E: Just call me Friskie Pudding...the next skate ski world champion...I have the look down, now I just need to be able to ski.

Figure F: This is what happens when you leave your camera with your friends, while you ski. Oh, and Don, this is what happens when you leave your photo on the camera of your friend who writes a blog. Tee hee. Who loves ya buddy?!

Peace out my lovely friends!

Back In The Drink...

2009-12-10T14:17:00.004-08:00

"Believe nothing, no matter were you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." ~ The Buddha

I was back at the pool this morning for the first time since getting home. Come to think of it, I was back to actually doing something since I got home! This week hasn't been a great one, from dealing with a nasty stomach virus that necessitated staying in close proximity to the ceramic throne, to recieving sad news (honestly, I can take no more sad news) to it being bitterly cold outside compared to what I had been experiencing the last couple of weeks. So venturing out to the pool this morning was a welcome adventure!

It is widely known now that I have decided to move on from IM training, therefore there was some question about my presence at the pool. All in good fun of course. My response, 'I like swimming, why would I stop swimming??' That is a true statement; however more to the point is that I love the local mermaids and mermen that are there. They give me a very wonderful way to start the day.

I had no plans for my swim - a nice change. I brought my padels and pull buoy out to the pool deck, but ended up just doing some laps. Not before chit chatting with Sue until her hubby/coach said, 'You guys can talk at coffee after - get swimming!' Yes Sir! So we swam.

I did a nice easy 1100 m that took me a half an hour. Too funny. In my defense I threw in 100m of kicking, which usually has me going backwards. How it is this happens, I know not.

By the end of it I was chatting with Jaimie, which is when John walked in and said 'Are you going to swim or chat all day?' Sheesh, can a girl not spend a little time playing catch up?? I got out of the pool pretty soon after and headed for coffee with some of the gang. Well, hot cocoa, cause I've never acquired a taste for coffee. Love the smell of it though.

I must admit, it feels a bit weird not to have a game plan for the future. I have no races scheduled, no training plan, nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Zero. Huh...

I think I can get used to this...

Peace out my lovely friends.

Ironman Cozumel 2009 Race Report....

2009-12-07T12:31:00.002-08:00

“Life can be found only in the present moment. The past is gone, the future is not yet here, and if we do not go back to ourselves in the present moment, we cannot be in touch with life.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

This is a little late in coming, but I didn't have internet access while in Mexico, so couldn't report. After reading the first paragraph though, you may think that a good thing...

Since the race I've thought long and hard about what to write in my race report. I decided that I don't want to write one because I really do not want to relive that race. I'm sorry to report that it was the worst race, mentally and physically, that I've ever done. I was totally disappointed with my performance. I am now dealing with the disappointment and trying hard to let it go because there is no sense in living in the past - the present moment is what counts. Likely not what anyone wants to read, ergo I will not go into the details, which would be negative and that's just not fun.

Instead I will write why I think someone interested in doing the Ironman Cozumel race should do it - because despite my day, I believe it's a wonderful race and one people should try it! Also, I'll include some notes that one may be interested in when contemplating the race.

The Swim

It's in salt water. Not a big deal for some, a big deal for others. I loved it.
The water is crystal clear. Seriously! As I swam I saw starfish, bright blue fish, a fish with yellow and black stripes, and the best part of all - I swam over a friggin STINGRAY! It was an incredible experience. This is also good for being able to see the other competitors, no chance of accidently running up someones backside.
Depending on the day, the current may be rough - we were very lucky as two days before the race the water was so rough they had to cancel the practice swim. During my practice swim I had troubles sighting the buoys as the waves were over my head. I was glad to be out there with my friend Donna! You really do get used to the current and the waves and just roll more etc. It's just a bit daunting when you first start out if you aren't used to it. On race day the water was fantastic - couldn't have asked for a better swim, which is evident by the times. (I PR'd by 12 minutes.)
It's a water start, but the water is warm and wonderful, so it's nice to be in there floating about before the gun goes off. Oh, no swim warm up either. Not wetsuits due to the warm water either.
Jellyfish - yes there are jellyfish there. In the practice swim I got stung five times, and during the race I got stung a few times - I lost count. That said, most of the stings were small and quick so more a bit of a shock when it first happens, but then you get used to it. Some are a bit more of a shock. Kinda like when you walk around in slippers then touch the light switch and get a ZAP! In other words a minor inconvenience and nothing to waste time worrying about.
I never felt like it was overly crowded in the swim and I started on the inside near the front. Perhaps it's because I was swimming in a huge ocean?!
I would say to do this race just for the swim. It really was an incredible experience - one that I won't soon forget.

The Bike

The bike course was three loops. This can be a good thing or a bad thing for some.
There is a 12 mile stretch (they say 9 in the guide) that is open to the beach and the Carribean Ocean. This is good because it's beautiful. This is bad because the crosswinds were INSANE. I come from a very windy place and really, these winds were some of the toughest I've experienced. Oh, and before you get to that part of the race course, you feel them as headwinds for a short stretch. Also note that it's a 12 mile stretch - that you do three times. The winds were getting worse as the day progressed....so it got harder with each lap.
The race course is flat. Pancake flat. But not easy as one would assume - see above point.
You can break up the bike loop into thirds. One portion is on the main road and you have tropical trees and bushes on either side - that's all you see and the butt of the athletes ahead of you. One portion is along the ocean - again as noted above. Then there is a section that goes through town. This section is THE BEST. Why? Because all the locals are there lining the roads as you ride by. They are clapping, cheering "Animo" (which is a form of encouragement) and "Bravo"! You know how you feel crossing the finish line? Well take that and stretch it out for a few kilometers during the middle of the race. They even take your picture! I had a grin from ear to ear. They were fantastic and I seriously needed their cheering by the third lap. I was so thankful they were there. Even the local biker club was out. I could go on and on about this. I love the people of Cozumel!! Oh, and if you are a woman racing - the local women go nuts for you. They are yelling IRONMUJERE!!! and they cheer even louder as you go by. Even Granny's were on their lawn chairs hooting and hollering. Seriously fantastic.
The aid stations are a little short and they don't have bananas - although they say they are going to put them out there. So you have to be on the ball while yelling for what you need. They understand the word water, but always good to yell 'agua'. Almost all of the aid stations were manned by teenagers who were super helpful. I had to stop as they didn't understand my yelling water and I was at the end of the line. I told one boy what I needed and he RACED back to the other table to get me my water. All with a big smile. They really worked hard that day and did a great job.
The water bottles are filled with purified ice water - so it's very refreshing and safe. It gets very humid out there so you need to use the water to cool down as well as for drinking. I was thankful the water was so cold. We lucked out and it was overcast for a good portion of the day - the next day it was a like a furnace and everyone was saying how thankful they were it wasn't like that on race day. It was humid and hot enough as is.
The road isn't too bad, but there are sections along the water and in town that are tricky. Wave at everyone but be very mindful for potholes. Oh! And there are speedbumps through town but they flattened them out for the race. So don't worry about that when you arrive and think, uh, there is a massive speed bump here! How am I going to get over that??

The Run

Like the bike course, the run is three laps. Again, this could be good or bad depending.
The aid stations are well stocked of cold water, thankfully. Again, it's purified and in wee bottles so you know it's safe. No fear of Montazuma's revenge - well not from the water at least...
They ran out of cola, but got some stocked up fast.
There is no toilet paper in the porta potties. Not even a hanger thingy for toilet paper. A lot of them were very very nasty. Kind of par for the course in an Ironman race though. (Exactly how does one poo on the BACK of the seat?? Seriously? Did they press their bum to the very back of the booth or what?! Do not under any circumstances sit on a porta potty seat in the dark during IM....anywhere.) Another note about how incredibly wonderful the volunteers are....I came up to an aid station and a female volunteer said 'Agua?' to me. I replied, "No - bano" and pointed to the porta potty. I walked towards it and she came running after me 'Seniorita!' So I turned and she stood there holding out a little wad of toilet paper for me. I was at such a low point in my race at that point and her kindness was truly overwhelming. I will never forget her and am very grateful. I am all veklmept just writing it. If I hadn't been so disgustingly sweaty and gross I would have hugged her. Instead I thanked her with many many 'Gracias!'.
Bug spray - take a very small container with you, you will need it. I had a small (fits in the palm of my hand) container that I kept with me in my jersey pocket. They have spray at the aid stations and use it, which can be hard for those breathing all that in, but it's a necessity. This can not be understated actually. As soon as the sun goes down around 5:30pm it's a feeding frenzy of mosquitos. If you have bug spray you are okay though. Oh, and you have to keep reapplying it because it's so humid you sweat it off rather quickly.
They don't have as much food I've seen at the Canada and Coeur d'Alene races, but they do have full Powerbars and gels and lots of them.
The race takes you through town 3 times, so lots of cheering. You do have to make like you are about to go to the finish line twice, so that's a bit of a tease. Oh, and running through town is a bit tricky actually. The road is decorative brick so not flat and it feels a bit slippery when wet, which is the situation at every aid station.
Again, the spectators through here are fantastic. They are pretty much along the entire run route, but concentrated near downtown, which is to be expected.
The banging of pots and pans and the blowing of whistles gets to be a bit much by the third lap - although the enthusiasm is of course welcome.
The ambulancia was working overtime grabbing people and taking them to the med tent. Not sure if it was more or less than normal in an IM? Seemed like I kept seeing it go by. Make sure you hydrate, it may be night but it's still pretty warm and very humid.

The Finish

The finish line needs work. Not the actual finish line - that's very cool as you are at city hall and the little park is very nice there.
The catchers don't really understand the concept of being catchers. They give you your medal and also a pretty necklace made of shells, which I love, but then they just let you go. Not good for those in need of medical attention. Although you could walk straight into the med tent, which is run by the red cross, as it's a few feet from the finish arch!
The shirts were kind of hidden so not everyone got them, including me. I did get it the next day - I figured I went through enough pain I deserved that darn shirt! Hopefully the organizers will hand them out with the medals and such like the other races.
Everything else is the same with the food and massage though.

So for the inaugural event of Ironman Cozumel, I would give it 4.5 stars out of 5. Yes, there were a few gliches, but I truly don't think those glitches would have hampered even the most competitive athlete. I thought it was well organized and the volunteers were fantastic. I can not gush enough about the locals and their enthusiasm either. Seriously, I've never seen anything like it - not even in Penticton and that's saying a lot. It didn't matter that they didn't know you - they cheered and clapped as loud as my own parental unit did!

Speaking of the parental unit, I am as always, eternally grateful for their presence at the race. It can't be easy watching your only kid slowly crumble and not be able to do anything about it. They were so encouraging when they saw me getting down. Dad walking with me asking how I was doing and Mom walking with me for a while to keep my spirits up. Dad asked me if I wanted to quit and said it would be ok. I said I did, but I wouldn't. I couldn't.

They gathered my gear at the race finish, then carried my bike and stuff into the hotel and cleaned up the bit of hurl that ended up on the car seat. (I really would have cleaned that myself had I known.) Apparantly I didn't hang far enough out the door when we had to make an 'emergency' stop on the way back to the hotel. My dad even slept on the couch, which was my bed in the condo, so I could sleep in the bed with my mom just in case I needed help during the night.

For the record I vote them the best dang parental unit anyone could ever have. I also promise them that I won't put them through anymore races like this. This is my last Ironman for a very long time, if not forever. Time to move on to other adventures that perhaps don't suck the life out of me. After my swim there I thought it might be fun to try some open water long distance races.... And there is always adventure racing!

Thanks to everyone who was cheering. I wish I could have written a glowing race report for you.

Peace out my wonderful friends.

And Off I Go....

2009-11-24T18:10:00.003-08:00

"You can't ever get everything you want. It is impossible and you will never fully succeed. Lucily, there is another option; you can learn to control your mind, to stop outside of this endless cycle of desire and aversion. you can learn not to want what you want, to recognize desires but not be controlled by them." ~ The Buddha

Okay, so as stated in my last post, here's my race plan:

"The only thing I need to do is show up on the morning of the race with the attitude that I'm going to enjoy this race for whatever it will be."

Yes, it's pretty much as simple as that. Okay, I may have a more detailed race plan that covers the likes of nutrition and such, but really, other than that I will stick to the above. Because no matter what I plan, I can't forsee the future and so I'm just going to have to go with whatever occurs.

That said, I'd like to think that I have prepared the best I can and I will do the best I can out there!

Speaking of preparing, I wasn't able to get really prepared for my trip until yesterday. I was busy on a Search and Rescue (SAR) training weekend and that took up most of my thought last week as it was going to be an overnight trip in the mountains. I will add here that I had a fantastic time and that I was very happy that the glowing eyes that I met with my flashlight in the dark of night were owned by a deer and not a cougar. Phew! That gave the old ticker a bit of a start. Good thing there were three other people in my search group.

For the past week I've just been piling stuff up in my room that I didn't want to forget for the trip. Today I actually put everything in organized piles, checked my race checklist to make sure I had everything, then left it while I went out to fake & bake, go to MEC, meet up with Al and Keith and then come home again.

I did the fake & bake thing (that would be indoor tanning for those that don't know) so that I would go up in a puff of smoke when I got to Mexico. I have enough to think about on race day and don't want to think about 3rd degree burns on me because I'm fair skinned. I think I have a pretty good base now so should be good to go. You know, I think being tanned actually makes one look slimmer...hmmm.

Anyhoo, after that session I zipped over to my trusted massage therapist for my last torture session before the race. Torture as in having the bone of her arm being scraped down my IT band several times repeated. OUCH! Hopefully that keeps those suckers in line for the next week though. My knees have been grumbly so the intense IT session was necessary.

As she discreetly manoeuvered the sheets to expose one of my buttocks, so she could inflict some pain along my piriformis, I felt the need to explain my rosy little cheeks. "Uh, I just did a tanning session today....I think my tush might have gone a little red." She laughed, at which point I added, "I'm not sure why I don't just wear bathing suit bottoms. I mean, it's not like anyones going to see my butt so who cares if it's pasty white??" We laughed some more and she said, "Well, I see your butt!". Huh. Indeed she does. Not that that really helps. I really need to get a life if the only person seeing budunkadunk is my RMT! Not that I plan on going around flashing or nothing. Okay, I'm just going to stop there before I really put my foot in it.

Once done there and smelling every so much like Tiger Balm I dashed off to MEC for a couple of last minute items. I saw my Buddha Brother, Al, there and had a quick chat. He's so calming and I will remember everything he's taught me! Then I met up with Keith who brought me some of his wife Linda's amazing cookies.

I was joking with him yesterday that I was concerned about my post race recovery. You see, Linda makes me special gluten free cookies that I discovered during the Chinook Half cure me from the need to vomit, pass out, and generally feel like death is looming over. The secret is the ginger and high quality chocolate chips she puts in there.

I must say, I did not expect such a treat. But Keith told Linda that I was going to miss her cookies (she baked them for me for Ironman Canada too) and so she whipped up a batch last night. I'm pretty sure I could never in words express how grateful I am!!! I did promise that if Keith ever divorced Linda (not that he ever would) that I would marry her (even though I don't play for that team) and failing that I would leave her money in my will. I'd name the first born after her, but I'm not doing the kid thing so I kinda had to think of something else. This is how much I love these cookies and how much I love Linda for baking them and Keith for delivering them.

After my awesome MEC trip, I came home to pack up the gear that has gone from being piled sky high in my room to being carefully placed in organized piles on my bed. Looking at the amount of stuff laying there I started to get nervous. Okay, I could get rid of half my Infinit then put that in the bike box. Oh, and my shoes can go in the bike box. Geez, how heavy can a bike box be before I get charged mucho dinero?

I decided to remove a couple of items then packed my pack. Then the doorbell rang. It was my best bud Les. She looked on in awe of the bike box. (Neither of us has ever used one before.) Then I showed her my pack. She ever so subtley rolled her eyes.

"I know, I know!! I have TOO MUCH stuff. But I'm sure I'm going to need it all." She didn't buy it. This is the woman who spent most of the last 30 years travelling this beautiful earth. Six of it spent in Mexico and South America. She knows how to travel light.

So I started pulling stuff out. She then helped me trim down everything and told me the trick of putting your clothes in the shower with you and letting the soap wash through it so as to clean it. Ergo I wouldn't have to take 13 tops for a 10 day trip. Not a bad idea! I decided to leave my beloved camoflage shorts behind...because the material is a bit thick and it's Mexico and there's no need to wear military stuff in Mexico. Also I left behind was my awesome purple tie-dye dress that I got in Australia. It's rather long and takes up space. Sigh.... As Les pointed out, I could wear it for the next three months when I got back if I wanted to!

Seriously, if it weren't for all the dang triathlon stuff I'd barely be brining anything. And yet my pack is still super full. Ah well. That's what airport carts are for right? Then I will just dump everything in the hotel.

So now it would seem I am ready to go. I have to get up tomorrow at 3am and be at the airport at 5am. I'm not super excited about the trip yet, but I know as soon as I'm at the airport the excitement level will increase.

I'm super stoked that my parental unit will be coming out for the race and there will be friends racing and supporting as well. Very cool! Oh, and it's the inaugural Ironman Cozumel so that right there is pretty exciting.

I received the athlete guide and it would appear the swim has changed a bit. Yes, it's still 3.8 km, but they have us go out from the pier, then left and we swim aouth parallel to the shore, then back up north parallel to the shore. There is no swim warmup, which is a bit of a bummer, but I will deal with it. Some have mentioned jellyfish - as the water is about 27C there are no wetsuits for protection. My saving grace will be that I am not going to be anywhere near the front so I'll let the fast ones deal with them!

So I guess that's it. I'm ready for the race and all the wonderful moments it will bring. Thank you to my friends and family for the ongoing love and support. Race or no race, I am always grateful that you are in my life and give thanks every night before I go to sleep.

I promise to do my best with what I have, and to smile while doing it.

Peace out my friends! Voy a escribir de nuevo pronto.

Expectations...

2009-11-18T09:38:00.002-08:00

"The future is completely open, and we are writing it moment to moment." -Pema Chodron

On Monday night I went to my Sangha, as per usual. I made it in time for soup, which was great as it also gives me a chance to chat with my friends there. When I saw my Buddha Brother, Al, he smiled, looked at me and said, 'So, are you feeling ready for the race?'. I replied, 'Uhm.....' The hesitation was long enough that he said 'So, have you started placing expectations on yourself yet?'.

We then both burst out laughing. Seriously, am I THAT much of an open book?! I replied that yes, I had started down that slippery slope, but then caught myself. Kind of.

It can be so hard before a race not to place expectations on oneself or how the race should go. The life lessons I go by, though, teach me that expectations lead to suffering. I seem to have a good amount of experience in this area, so really, you'd think I should know better. Alas, we are creatures of habit and I did find myself starting to set some expectations.

The biggest one is probably around time. I know, I know, I say that I don't have time goals. And really, I guess I kind of don't in that I'm not setting out to achieve a particular time. Like I'm not gunning for a placing overall or in my age group. And I'm certainly not trying to qualify for Kona. However, that said, I would SO love it if I were between 14 and 15 hours. The main reason for that is being out there longer than that is just really friggin hard.

The secondary reason is that this will be my fourth IM in three years. I'm realtively new to this sport so perhaps I shouldn't have many expectations (there's that word again) regarding speed, but still I seem to. Two of my races were really challenging, in the sense of things going wrong, and my times were 16:05 (IMC 2007) and 15:47 (IMC 2009). I had a super race and had a time of 15:05 (IMCDA 2008) as well. So in my mind, having the expectation of getting in under 15 hours doesn't really seem like an expectation...right? Yes, I'm totally justifying my thoughts here.

Of course I know setting a time goal even one as loose as that may lead to major disappointment. I don't think I've trained hard enough to get faster. It's not that I didn't want to, well, sometimes I didn't want to, it was more there was other stuff happening that made it so I couldn't. Or wouldn't. So if you don't train harder, then how can one expect to get faster, right?

So what if I don't come in under 15 hours? Is that such a bad thing? Likely no one is going to care anyways except maybe me.

Okay, so I'm letting go of my time expecations. Or at least I am telling myself I am every time I think about it and hopefully by November 29, the expectation will actually be gone!

The other expectations I have revolve around my process goals. I expect that if I follow through with my process goals all will be well. In theory, this would likely be true. Of course, reality is a different beast and who knows if I will be able to achieve all the process goals. So maybe I'll just think to myself I HOPE to achieve my process goals.

Hope. Now there is a word I struggle with. If I say 'I hope' to accomplish something does that mean I'm not really trying, or don't really want something? And if that's the case, will that mean I'm predestined NOT to achieve something. Should I be saying 'I will' accomplish 'fill in the blank'? Hmmm...

You know, the more that I think about what I'm thinking and the more that I write about what I'm thinking, I think that I am thinking WAY too much.

Okay, so bottom line then is this...

No expectations. The day is going to be whatever the day is going to be. I don't need to worry about times or this or that. The only thing I need to do is show up on the morning of the race with the attitude that I'm going to enjoy this race for whatever it will be. Afterall, I will be one of 1500 particpating in the very first Ironman Cozumel!!

Now I just need to repeat that as a mantra for the next 10 days...just to make sure it's firmly embedded in my brain.

Peace out my lovely friends!

Swimming and Smiling...

2009-11-12T14:20:00.002-08:00

"Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful." -Thich Nhat Hanh

I've always loved being in or near the water. This is likely for two reasons. One, I was born on an island and spent a lot of time near the ocean. Two, I'm a pisces. Oh boy am I a pisces sometimes....but that's a story for another time.

When I first took up swimming for triathlon I questioned whether I had ever been in the water before. There was a lot of thrashing and gasping and very little forward movement. Flashforward four years later and I think I can say I'm a swimmer and I know I can say I love it!

I've slowly been getting better at swimming, but the new program I started in July has really given me a boost. It has invovled a TON of paddle work. At first I was afraid of the mean green paddles. Afraid I'd hurt my shoulders or not be able to use them. Turns out my body loves anything that takes strength. Hmm, not that mumbly mumbly years of being a gym rat prior to being a tri geek didn't tell me that!

I didn't have much time before Ironman Canada to really get into the groove of swimming with the new lesson plan, but I really think it helped me as I took 2 whole minutes off my swim. Very cool.

I've been hitting the pool religiously since September and today was proof of all the hard work. At least I think so. I'm not sure what Cozumel will be like, but I'm not troubled by that because the only thing that matters is today.

Before I divulge the big YAHOO from today, I must say that there has been much joy and happiness brought my way in the pool since September. The biggest joy was from the people.

During the summer I started going to the pool on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays. On Tuesday and Thursday I'd get there at 6am. Needless to say, there weren't many people there. In September though, the schedule changed so the munchkin swim club could get their practice in. (A big HOOYAH to the kids that get up in the wee hours of the morning to train - you rock!)

So I started going at 7:30 am, which was the new lane swim time. This was one of the best decisions I have ever made that I didn't really make. Why? Because of the people I was now surrounded by.

First off there are my two fellow mermaids. For some reason, I have no idea what there names are! Too funny. I will find out soon! Anyways, they are almost always there with their kickboards, chatting away while doing their laps. I love them because they are so cheerful and always have a warm smile and 'good morning!' for me. When they learned what I was doing they were also very encouraging. So sweet! They always make me smile and keep me going when I'm tired.

Then there is Garney - one of my fellow tri-geeks. I swear, he's my 'peace brother by another mother'! Again, another person always ready with a smile and a witty comment here or there. Not to mention it doesn't matter what kind of day, or morning, you are having - he always knows the right thing to say to make you feel good. Then there are our mini philosophical chats. I love the fact that we can pack in a deep conversation into a short rest at the pool edge between sets. In those mini moments have really given me some 'AHA' moments! He is a blessing.

Another member of the tri-geek gang is Jaimie. I gotta tell ya, swimming with Jaimie is like getting to swim with a pro. He has been to the World Championships, both Kona and Clearwater and number of times. In fact, last year he raced in BOTH Kona and Clearwater. Basically back to back. One word - WICKEDAWSOMEATHLETE! Oh, and the best part? He's super modest. His whole family is like that - it's really wonderful.

He's been in the pool a fair amount as he was getting ready for Clearwater, which he's racing in this weekend. As the lane rope has been busted the last while, it's been Garney, Jaimie and I sharing what is essentially two lanes. Jaimie gets there later than we do, so he ends up in the middle. We each take our spot and stay there.

Last Thursday he was there swimming a steady pace. I was busy doing sets of 300. Every once in a while if we both pushed off from the wall at the same time I would try to keep pace with him. Not an easy task by any stretch of the imagination. I swear his 'warm up' pace is my 'all out' pace. This time though I tried to mimic his techinque and ended up being able to hold pace with him. It was the coolest feeling!

Well, I'd hold pace for a length, then he'd lose me on the flip turn. I kept doing this throughout my 300s and it really helped me to keep focussed, as well as work pretty hard! At one point I actually kept up for 3 lengths! I was feeling like a champ at that point.

With two sets of 300 left, both Jaimie and I ended up at the pool edge after finishing a set. He was about to get out and I said 'NO! You can't leave me! I've been trying to keep up to you during my sets and now what am I going to do to keep me amused?!' He started laughing and asked how much more I had to do. I told him then mentioned I was just teasing and he was 'allowed' to go.

I then pushed off the wall and started my set. I soon noticed that Jaimie was swimming with me. Actually, he swam just a bit ahead of me. I again started to mimic his techinque and to focus on staying strong. We got to the end, he flip turned, but he didn't push off super hard so that he was still just in front of me. He was going to swim the set with me!! So I did what I did for the last lap, and continued to do so for the entire 300 m.

The one thing about swimming beside Jaimie is he can create a bit of a tsunami. In trying to keep pace I managed to swallow four huge mouthfuls of polluted pool water. Needless to say it made for a rather unhappy gurgly belly for the rest of the day. It was totally worth it though!

Who knew one could swim and have a huge smile on their face at the same time?! I sure did that day. It was so kind of Jaimie to swim that set with me. I gained so much from that set and that day. It was not an easy set, but I didn't die doing it, which was a wonderful surprise!

I was so thankful to him for giving me that gift. He is such an amazing athlete and to be able to have that experience truly was one of the highlights of my triathlon career. It was like getting to swim with a pro! Only better because he's a friend too.

So all this wonderful learning and energy was channeled for today's challenge. I was to swim 4800 m. Wow. I've never swum more than 4000 m before. I totally got myself in the headspace before I went to the pool though. I was pumped. So much so that I was actually shaking before I got into the pool!

Thankfully, Garney and the mermaids were there. They shared their enthusiasm and energy with me and I had a fantastic swim. That energy stayed even after they finished their workouts and I went on to swim the entire 4800 m feeling strong. In fact, I felt so strong that after I'd finished the 4800 m, I decided that another 8 lengths wouldn't be much more to add on....

So my final total distance for my swim today was 5000 m! I was on cloud 9 walking out of the pool. I've never done that before and I felt fantastic doing it.

Thank you to all my tri friends and pool buddies who constantly inspire me, give me energy and always make me smile. I am so grateful to have you in my life!

Peace out my glorious friends!

You Are Here...

2009-11-02T13:59:00.002-08:00

'Life can be found only in the present moment. The past is gone, the future is not yet here, and if we do not go back to ourselves in the present moment, we cannot be in touch with life.' ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

In the past I was really good at living in the future and continually planning, or mulling over the past and dealing with regrets. In the past two years I've learned a lot and have been actively practicing living in the present. I admire those who can do this without thinking about it. I, unfortunately, am still in the category of those who have to be on alert for when the mind slips into the future or past.

I realized that in the past few weeks I've been slipping back into old, bad habits and have been spending a little too much time in the future in both my personal life and in my triathlon training life.

The good news is that I am aware of it and so am being quite vigilant with my thoughts and actions to try and stay wonderfully grounded in the present.

I meditate on a fairly regular basis. It's one way I stay in the present. While I meditate I focus on my breath and either recite a Buddhist discourse in my mind, or I just count the out breath. I always feel quite relaxed when I do this, so sometimes when I find my mind racing about anything and everything other than the training activity I should be focussed on, I stop what I'm doing and focus on my breath. Or I continue what I'm doing and focus on my breath!

I did this with my swim workouts last week and it was the most amazing feeling! While my head was underwater I focused on my technique, then as I turned my head for the breath I just focused on what it sounded like and how peaceful I felt. It really did help especially for the 4000 m swim!

I've really been struggling with my bike trainer workouts lately. I seem to be able to hold the strength and power up to the two hour mark. After that my mind takes over and there is a struggle to keep going and to stay strong. My mind is quite well versed in coming up with excuses as to why one should not stay seated on a stationary bike after the two hour mark!

This Satruday I hooked up with the SweatLab gang for a swim then a trainer session. I had a great swim and as I got ready for the trainer session I started the old pep talk routine. You know, things like 'You can totally handle a four hour ride!'. To which my mind replied, 'Yes, but do I want to do a four hour ride?'

Eventually I was on my bike in the garage with the gang. They have a great set up and play movies so I got to watch Star Wars again. I hadn't watched it since when it was originally in the theatres! Yes, I realize I have just dated myself, but hey, I got carded when buying wine the other week so that's got to say something!

Finally it hit. The two hour mark. Somewhere around this point I decided to focus on my breath. That's when a phrase popped into my head 'You are here'. Yes, yes I was here and the only thing I needed to focus on was staying strong for the current 10 minute interval. Then I would pedal easy for 5 minutes. Then I'd get into the next 10 minute interval and when my mind wanted to wander I repeated the phrase 'You are here'.

Guess what? It worked. I had the best four hour trainer bike ride I've ever had. I stayed strong throughout even when my thighs were starting to burn. It was great. I know my little saying helped me through, but also a big part of it was the energy from the gang in the garage. Colette was beside me and had a strong ride so I did my best to keep my cadence matching hers. It was fantastic. Many thanks to the SweatLab crew!

The next day I was in Canmore. I had gone out the night before with my buddy Trudy to see a movie at the Banff Mountain Film and Book Festival and stayed at her place so I could run there on Sunday and perhaps take in another show.

I had a 1.5 hour run to do so asked Trudy where would be a good path to take. Canmore has several brilliant paths not to mention mountains and trails and the river...

She suggested the pathway that took me to the Three Sisters development. It had snowed a bit the night before so there was a bit of snow on the ground, and a fair bit of ice. The sun was out though so I figured it would melt eventually, which it did.

The route took me through parks, along the river and trails through the trees. It was a gorgeous sunny day with blue skies and fluffy white clouds. As I ran I stayed focus on where my feet were going, so as not to bail on some ice, but I'd also take a peek at my surroundings.

I could see where I had hiked up Lady MacDonald Mountain. I smiled and thought, 'I was there, but now I'm here!' I felt a lightness of being while I was running through the trees and along the river. I really do feel at home in nature.

There were a couple of times when I wasn't sure what path to take, so I veered off onto a trail. A couple of times it just took me to some sort of pumping station, which were stinky, so then I'd run through the tall grass back onto the actual path. I kind of laughed to myself and though, 'Yup, this is just like your life. Looking for some adventure so going off the path. Sometimes it's a good thing, and sometimes it's stinky and you learn from it'.

Once again I was aware of my mind going here and there. So again I kept saying 'You are here' in order to reign in the thoughts. Happily it worked again! I had an amazing run and was so thankful to be where I was.

It's amazing what you can learn during your training that you can take into your personal life. One of the biggest lessons I've learned is staying present. Afterall, the present moment is the only moment that counts. So take a deep breath, smile and repeat 'You are here'.

Peace out my brilliant friends.

Quickies...

2009-10-21T19:10:00.004-07:00

“Things and conditions can give you pleasure but they cannot give you joy—joy arises from within.” –Eckhart Tolle

I have fallen victim to the quickie. The quick update via Facebook or text. For some, the quickie includes Twitter. How do we fall into the trap of the quick update? How did I fall into the trap of the quick update?

I think one reason for it is that I find my life full. Not necessarily full of the good things that life has to offer or that bring me joy. Rather, things that I feel I should or have to do. Then there are the things that I really want to do, such as writing, that I have to squeeze into all of the other stuff.

The end result, the quickie update. Thing is, there are stories behind those quick updates. Stories that I love to write and share. So today I shall try and expand on some of the quick updates that I have been leaving here and there...

"I swam 10400 m in three days..."

Okay, I'm not one to toot my own horn, but I was super stoked by this. I attempted to become a swimmer in the summer of 2005. At the end of my first 25 m I was gasping for air and hanging limply off the diving board begging not to have to do that again. Last year I noticed that I was more comfortable in the water. Not necessarily faster, but I wasn't gasping as much as before.

Now? Now is a different story. Now I honour my Piscean sign by being a true fish. I love swimming and I have been loving my workouts. This is quite the feat considering I have been wishing the whole Ironman thing done since about May! When my coach asked me to add in a 4000 m swim to help me prepare for the open water, no wetsuit swim, I'll be doing in Cozumel, I wasn't sure I could do it.

I dug deep though and thanks to my pals at the pool, who unknowningly provided support just by being there, I got it done. I swam 3000 m on Thursday, 4000 m on Friday, then 3400 m on Saturday. Yes, my back is still feeling it.

Of course a funny thing happened at the pool during one of those swims. I was deep into one of my sets, head looking down at the bottom of the pool, paddles fastened securely when I got to the pool end. I slapped my paddle down on the pool edge and came up for air, only to find my head was very close to being positioned between a fellow swimmers knees. I assume he just got into the pool and was sitting innocently enough with his feet dangling, but somehow I missed all this! I was thankful for two things....a) my head wasn't lodged between his knees (how would one explain that?) and 2) that when I slapped the paddle down it was on the pool edge and not the fellows...

"Has so much Tiger Balm on her quads to try and ease the agony that her eyes are now weepy...will the pain just please go away?!"

On Thanksgiving Monday a friend and I hiked up Lady MacDonald mountain in Canmore. I've done that hike once before and knew there were two sections that send my heart racing and make my legs turn to jello. And that's when there is no snow.

The first part of the hike was pretty easy, albeit a bit steep in parts. I find it amusing that even though I work out the way I do, I spend the first 1/2 hour gasping for air on a hike. After a while though my lungs get used to what I'm doing and I continue to march on.

It was wonderful hiking through the snow. When we weren't talking I took the time to listen to the squeaking noise our boots made in the snow. As I walked by exposed rocks I'd caress them with my hands and give thanks to their presence. With the pine trees I would pull a section towards me and take a deep breath of their fresh smell.

The reason I love being in nature is because of the wonderful connection or interbeing one can have with it, if one is open to that experience. Of course there is also the feeling of being alive when you have to tap into one of your fears, such as trying to climb up, or down an exposed section in slippery snow, knowing that it will be quite the slide down if you lose your grip. Gulp.

Although during the climb my legs felt fine, I spent the next few days after slathered in Tiger Balm and stretching like the madwoman I am. I swear my quads haven't hurt that bad even after Ironman! I think part of the reason was the steep grade of the hike and coming down in the snow. It was slippery in sections and my muscles were engaged in the hopes that I didn't fall.

I'm happy to report I am once again able to walk up and down the stairs like a normal human, rather than having to heave myself up them or go down on my derriere! Oh, and I didn't slack on my workouts after either. That has got to add some points for the next race?!

"Is going to the climbing wall today! Hopefully I will be able to let go when I get to the top..."

I'm not ashamed to admit it...I've been pretty unmotivated at times during this years training. I've been going at it since January and as I have the personality of one who likes to mix things up a bit...to be swimming, biking and running that long is really pushing it for me.

Therefore, I recently decided to mix things up a bit! One of the things I did was the hike up the mountain. The next was to give climbing a go again. I tried indoor climbing about two years ago. I took the lesson, got all the gear and went exactly twice. It wasn't due to lack of enthusiasm, but just a difficulty in finding time with training and matching friends shedules.

Last night I went to a local climbing wall with a friend. I am hoping that the more climbing I do the less I will be afraid of heights. Plus, climbing makes you feel like a kid again!

I was happy to pass the belay test as it had been a while, and then we started climbing. Well, not at the same time of course. I went first. I made it about two thirds up the wall and asked to be let down. I was shaking pretty badly and my hands were all sweaty. I forgot to open my chalk bag so figured instead of doing it while hanging on desperately for dear life, that I'd just descend and get sorted on terra firma. I then took some deep breaths to try and relax.

I'm not sure what happened after that, but the next attempt at climbing I went straight to the top with no problem! I even managed to let go of the wall almost right away so I could be lowered!! The times before it took my friend Karin about 5 minutes to talk me into letting go of the wall so she could lower me. So that was a big step for me. It likely helped that I had been doing self talk about it all day long in preparation!

I had a blast trying different walls in the climbing gym and I look forward to the next time I go as I will actually try to follow a set path. Last night I just used all the rocks to get to the top. Oh! And I was very happy that when my climbing partner fell I had him totally secure on the line. Needless to say, he was also happy that this rookie was on the ball too!

Who knows, maybe one day I'll actually try climbing outside?! Thing there are any 6' rock walls around? I think I could handle that height...

"Is very pleased with how hard she pushed the pedals on her bike today...now where is my Tiger Balm?! Burning Legs = Blowing the Cobwebs From Mind"

I have a wee gerbil that lives inside my brain. Sometimes he hops onto the treadmill in there and runs like he's on fire. Many of my friends tell me I need to 'kill' the gerbil. I can't do it though. My gerbil is my alarm bell. He lets me know when I'm not being in the present and when I need to chill out.

Sometimes though he's very hard to stop. Lately I've had a lot on my mind and have been a bit frustrated by things. I was chatting with my friend Lance and grumbling about things when he said 'Go ride your bike!' I had a bike workout for today, and was going to get to it later, but realized he was right. Work could wait (one of the perks of being your own boss and working from home).

So I got all my gear on and trudged down to the dungeon. My schedule had a one hour ride, but because Cozumel is coming up, we've extended my Wednesday rides, so I settled in to push for two hours.

Sometimes it's good to be frustrated on the bike. This was one of those times. I was kicking some serious butt during my 'fast' intervals and could feel the burn through my quads, hammies and butt. It felt amazing. I can't believe I was able to hold that pace (in 10 minute intervals) for the full two hours, but I did it.

I was glad I did too because the gerbil got a bit pooped from the whole thing and decided to go back to his corner and take a pull of the old hookah pipe. I still have a lot on the mind, of course. Things don't just go away, but I feel much better able to deal with it now that I've burnt off a little steam.

Oh, and yes, the Tiger Balm was out again. I spent the afternoon/evening working at my desk with eyes that were weeping from the fumes coming off my legs. It was good for keeping me alert though!

So those are some of the background stories from the little texts I send out to friends and my Facebook blurbs.

I really do think that in today's world we've lost something with all the technology we have now. Personally, I love reading other people's stories. I am interested in what is happening in peoples lives, and not just the by-lines. That said, I know tomorrow I'll be back at trying to think of something short and witty to put up on my Facebook. Sigh...

Thank you to everyone who takes the time to write the long version out and for sharing a part of themselves.

Peace out my friends!

The Survey...

2009-10-13T10:18:00.003-07:00

My buddy Julie tagged me for this survey...I've been putting it off, but have finally decided to fill it out as it's super short and my posts are super long. As my time has been quite full lately, I figured I'd better get something on my blog so why not do a short survey.

The goal is to answer with only one word...so here it goes!

1. Where is your cell phone? Table
2. Your hair? Blonde
3. Your mother? Awesome
4. Your father? Brilliant
5. Your favourite food? Sushi
6. Your dream last night? Sad
7. Your favourite drink? JD
8. Your dream/goal? Peace
9. What room are you in? Livingroom
10. Your hobby? Life
11. Your fear? Emptiness
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Island
13. Where were you last night? Canmore
14. Something you aren't? Tall
15. Muffins? No
16. Wish list item? Love
17. Where did you grow up? Everywhere
18. Last thing you did? Blink
19. What are you wearing? Fleece
20. Your TV? There
21. Your pets? Dead
22. Your friends? Loving
23. Your life? Fabulous
24. Your mood? Accepting
25. Missing someone? Yes
26. Vehicle? Subaru
27. Something you're not wearing? Socks
28. Your favourite store? MEC
29. Your favourite color? Purple
30. When was the last time you laughed? Yesterday
31. Last time you cried? Yesterday
32. Your best friend? Loved
33. One place that I go over and over? Mountains
34. One person who emails me regularly? Work
35. Favourite place to eat? Anywhere

Exciting stuff eh? I'm supposed to tag 6 other people...but I think I'll just let those that read this decide if they'd like to participate.

Peace out my friends!

Friends...

2009-10-04T17:52:00.003-07:00

"Friendship is the only cure for hatred, the only guarantee of peace." ~ Buddha

The past two weekends have been all about friendship - making new friends, reconnecting with old friends, and building on existing friendships. I can't help but be grateful for all the friends I have - hopefully they realize how much they mean to me!

Last weekend I spent joining the local search and rescue team, which resulted in meeting a new friend, going for a ride with Esther and Joz, hanging with Karin and having a 'girls night' that included her adorable 18 month old daughter, and then spending a day of mindfulness with my Buddha buddies. This weekend continued with the friendship theme and I spent time with Leslie and Rob celebrating his birthday, going to a 'pre-Thanksgiving dinner' where there was an amazing group of people and wonderful hosts Karin and Tony, and today was spent in the mountains with Leslie and Di.

Now the best part of having friends is getting to share stories with them. Especially silly stories! So here's my silly story of the week...

Perhaps you all recall the issue with my swimsuit - how the liner is looking like Freddie Kruger got to it? Well, I've still been wearing it. I know, I know, I should have gotten a new one, but the shell is just fine so I'm thinking 'really is it necessary?' Well my swim on Thursday made me realize, yes Suse, it is necessary to get a new suit.

It all started early in the morning as I gathered up all my stuff for the pool. I went to step into said swimsuit and 'RIIIIIIPPP', my foot caught in one of the many holes in the liner and the liner tore in half.

Hmmm, I thought as I stared at the limp, lifeless liner. As the only other suit I own is in the laundry, I proceeded to do what any normal person would do, I got the snips out and just cut that ol' liner right out. Afterall, I was pretty sure the material of the suit was thick enough that no one would see any 'stuff'. I did; however, leave a wee bit of material in the undercarriage portion of the suit just in case...

So I get to the pool and jump in eager to swim my set. Not long after my suit got nice and saturated I remembered the other problem that I have with it every time I swim, but seem to forget every time after I swim - the straps appear to have stretched. Either that or I've shrunk. Which is a possibility.

The problem with this is that the 'girls' always seem to feel like they have more room to roam and float about. Not a huge issue when it's just us gals in the pool, but on days like today when there is a young man patrolling the pool side, well, then we have a bit of a problem. I do not want to be responsbile for his anatomy lessons!

Of course I was pretty sure that nothing was floating out into the open, but I'd stop every once in a while to look down and see what was going on. This, of course, was impossible with my goggles on so I'd take them off, do a quick non-chalant peek downward, then adjust to make sure and carry on with my swim. Not to mention it was tricky to try and pull the material over when one is wearing paddles.

Sometimes I'd reef on the straps and pull the material down my back in hopes that it would stay there. Funny how water just readjusts everything right back to the way it was. This issue occupied me for the majority of the swim, until the little old man entered into the scene. You know, I'd been wondering where he's been. I hadn't seen him in a while.

For those that don't know, the little old man is very tiny, very skinny gentleman with a slight hunchback. His claim to fame is that his preferred swimwear choice are very brief swimtrunks that are flesh coloured.

Trust me, the first time I got a glimpse of this I almost ingested all the water in the pool thinking I was looking at old man junk! This time, as I got to the end of my lane, I stopped and smiled at him in welcome. Perhaps I had some flesh showing myself because he never smiled back. Ah well. He still seems adorably sweet.

The last few laps of the workout consisted of me trying to concentrate on my swim, tugging at my suit with my paddles and trying not to swallow water whenever I'd get to the end of the pool and see what looked to be a skinny old man bare botttom looking at me. Seriously - why flesh coloured trunks?? Oh well, at least the flesh trunks and the thought of accidently seeing 'junk' kept my mind off my own swimsuit issues for a while.

Needless to say I made the oh so long trip into the city the next day and picked myself up a very nice looking purple suit that fits perfectly. Even took it out for a test drive on Saturday morning and I'm happy to report there was no incident involving me flashing my tata's. The girls were securely confined the entire 3400 m.

All that said, I still think I can get some mileage out of the old suit. Okay, so there's no liner, but maybe if I just sew the straps so they are tighter, maybe then things would stay put??

Peace out my beloved friends!

Back In The Saddle Again...

2009-09-23T16:09:00.007-07:00

Be Yourself. Be Beautiful. ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

As Aerosmith used to sing 'I'm BAAAAACK! I'm back in the saddle again...' Okay, I may not have the lips or voice like Steven Tyler, but I can do a wicked dramatic impersonation of him.

Normally it's a year between Ironman races...this year I went for the gusto and have two planned. One down, one to go...and the next (Ironman Cozumel) is just a little over two months away. Gulp. When I decided to sign up for two almost back to back, I did wonder how the old bod would take it.

Well, so far so good! (That doesn't mean we shouldn't keep our toes and fingers crossed that it stays that way.)

After two weeks off, for the most part, I started back into the groove of training slowly last week. I had an amazing hike/walk near Lake Minnewanka in Banff with my buddy Trudie on Thursday. We were going to follow the path along the lake, but decided to veer left and follow the river/creek that poured into the lake.

I asked about one path that went up to Aylmer Pass and Trudie, who's trained as a guide, let me know that that would take me right up into Grizzly area. Yup, that's where they hide out and collect berries for the winter. Hmm, I think I'll pass on going up there. Interestingly enough there were no signs on the Alymer Pass sign that said 'You should probably not go this route right now...'

The path we chose was perfect, which meant it was along the river and in the trees. Just what the doctor ordered. I love being in the trees. I walk by and smile at them, caress them and even hug them. The trees had been calling me for a long while now so I was ecstatic to be back in them!

The best part of the day, aside from the trees and wonderful company, was that I walked for two hours and my hip didn't hurt!! This is a miracle. Lately I haven't been able to walk five minutes without it hurting. All the pain and suffering from the massage treatments is working and my hip is staying in the socket like it's supposed too. This put a little pep in my step that day!

Later on we celebrated my walking ability in this uber cool cafe in Banff. They make all sorts of yummy stuff that I can eat! In other words they cater to the gluten intolerant vegetarian granola cruncher. YUM!

On Saturday I headed out early for a 3 hour bike ride. It was another gorgeous day and being out in the morning was glorious. There wasn't much traffic and the temperature was perfect. I loved being out there. I even rode up Cochrane hill to start things off!

Actually, I decided to ride to the house where I am looking after a kitty cat. It took me about 1:05 hours to get there and when I did the cat was wondering what the heck I was. I guess the helmut kind of through her off her game. I sat on the floor so should could sniff me out and decided if I was cool or not. I guess she didn't like the smell because later on, after getting all her food ready, I went near her again and sat down, and when I reached for one of her toys she smacked me three times very quickly with her wee paw.

Uhm, excuse me little furry feline, but for the next two weeks I am the one who feeds you, so I'm thinking that you don't want to be smacking me too much. Hmpff. Oh, and I will admit my ego was a little crushed. I mean, I'm Dr. Doolittle for crack and ice. Animals LOVE me and I LOVE them. I swerve on my bike to miss grasshoppers and little beetles not to mention the little gophers that like to play chicken with me. How could she not like me??? Sigh.

After that little break and kick to the ego, I went back up the road I came and noticed another road that lead off into, well I wasn't sure where. Hmmm, I had gotten to the house 25 minutes early than I had planned, so I figured why not go on a wee adventure and see where the road went.

Turns out it goes into Bearspaw Village. Very nice homes tucked away on nice parcels of land. Some of these houses have amazing views as the road I was riding along overlooked the Bow River and the mountains. It was great riding through there because there was no traffic, except for the Porche, BMW and Mercedes that passed by, and it was super quiet. In fact a little too quiet. Why is no one outside?? They have these big wonderful yards and I see no one. Oh, and if you want to purchase a lovely parcel of land that is 8 acres, it's only $1.3 million CAD. Yipes.

The roads were a lot of fun to ride on because they went in loops and were rolling so I could get some good speed work happening. At one point I finally did see someone, a fellow running, as I swoooshed down this little hill.

After riding through that area for about a half hour I headed back to Hwy 1A and went back west. I had totally lucked out in that there was no head wind at that point. Later in the day the skies turned dark and the winds kicked up to an insane velocity, so I was really happy I went out early.

Again, no hip pain after the ride. Yeah!

On Monday I started back into a regular program. I biked on Monday, swam yesterday, then went for another bike ride today. The body is feeling really good so far, but I'm paying close attention to it. I've been having a bit of troubles sleeping lately and have been waking up feeling a little stuffed up. I'm sure I'm recovered enough to work out, but want to make sure that I don't get sick or something if I push too hard right off the bat. So far the workouts seem perfect and I've really enjoyed getting back into the routine. This is a good thing because although I am listening to my body, I don't want to slack off, I want to be ready for this race.

It's easy to love biking in September when you can still get outside because you are having freaky global warming weather that puts you at 33 C (91 F) degrees on September 23! I don't know what that's all about but I will take it! Hmm, I wonder how long heat training lasts and if this will help with Cozumel...

I still am not allowed to run right now until we are sure my hip will stay in place, so instead I'm going to do more biking or do some hikes. I can't complain about hiking in the woods again - I love it. Speaking of the woods - I'll leave you with some photos from my trip last Thursday. Enjoy!

Peace out my beautiful friends!

AHA!!!

2009-09-16T15:04:00.002-07:00

Peace in yourself. Peace in the world. ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Since 1996 I have had issues with my hip, but never knew why or how it started. Now, I might actually have the reasons behind the why or how!

Just before IMC I went to see an Orthopaedic Massage Therapist. I swear he is a holy being. He didn't ask a ton of information, rather he asked me to march in one spot. So I did. Then he said 'Stop, and don't move.' He then began to assess my body positioning from the feet all the way up.

As he was doing this I was doing an internal check. Hmm, my glutes and hams are engaged and I'm just standing here. Yup, I am leaning forward a bit.

No disc problem?! Oh thank you Universe above. YEOW!!! The yeow happened when he poked exactly where he thought the pain was coming from. How did he do that?! Needless to say, the look on my face told him he was correct, if not the vocal outburst.

From his assessment, it looks like I have an SI joint issue, which has my muscles on my left heaving up my hip, thereby getting my right side muscles to do all the work. This would include my erector spinae, glutes, hamstrings, hip flexors, and quads. Not to mention all the teeny weeny little muscles and tendons hidden in there. Phew, that's a lot of work!

No wonder my right side was always in pain. Well, actually not always. The fun actually started in 1996 when I took up running, the first time. I was training for a 10k. Things were going well till one day my hip felt like it dislocated. All together now 'OW!' At the time I was in college so went to see the physio there who uttered the words 'You may never run again.' At the time, I was none to fussed.

Flashfoward almost 10 years. I take up running again. This time though I'm also weight lifting. Every thing is hunky dory! Or is it. Turns out the moment I stop doing strength work my hip does the wobbly, pain, glute spazzing thing.

This has been cyclic for the past 4 years. So now that I know my body is not working very well on the left side and the right side is taking the brunt, I am trying to get the right side to let go, via massage therapy, so the left can start pulling it's share.

I've seen a lot of people about this, but atlhough there seemed to be valid theories, no one every fixed me. This time though, she whispers so as not to jinx it, it seems like things are working. The process is a mighty painful one and a little scary as I have this second Ironman race deadline in a couple of months.

So now I have a gal, J, who is working on me big time to get things to shift. The doc comes in when I get there, assess things, then tells her what to work on. It's at this point she apologizes for the pain she is about to inflict, bless her heart.

And pain she does inflict. I almost dropped an F-bomb the other day but turned it into 'FFFFUUUDDDGGEELLLLAAA' or something similar as I tried to breathe through the agony.

The good part is that even though there is excrutiating pain at times, and I do not embellish here, it feels like my hip is trying to go back to where it should be. This, in turn, should get my glutes to stop being in continual spazz mode and hopefully I will be normal again. Well, not normal perhaps, that would be boring, but my bod might be.

Oh, I have to tell this story, one time J had a patient who used to make farm animals when they were getting worked on. Seriously. Like mooing noises and clucking and what not. This totally cracked me up, till she hit the next 'spot'. I waited for a while then as she was really cranking up the pain factor I exhaled then said 'CLUCK!' Poor girl nearly fell over. You know, for a tiny thing she really is very strong.

This last session was particularly eye opening. We were trading stories and I was saying how long it's been that I've noticed this problem. I even remember in 2000 noticing that my right erector spinae (long muscle along spine) on the right side sticks up when I do straight leg deadlifts, but the left was flat.

Well, we start to talking more and I tell her of a story when I was rollerblading. To try and keep this psuedo short, it was in Stanley Park, I couldn't figure out the brakes on my blades (first time blader) and I was going downhill into an area that was fenced off. Oh ohhhhh...

So I did what any sane person would, I decided I'd do like in skiing and just fall to stop myself. Problem one with this theory, there was only concrete around and I had gathered some speed. Problem two, I went off the curb into the parking lot like a ski jumper, rather than lowering my centre of gravity.

I managed not to kill any tourists that happened to be milling about in a group. I think my very loud 'AIYEEEEEEE' got them to part like the red sea in order to have little ol' me fly into their group then land very loudly on me arse. OOOMPFFFF. Then I laid there as they all hovered over me speaking some sort of language that I didn't know. I laughed in order to make sure I didn't cry in front of them.

Oh the pain. Had I not been wearing wrist guards, my wrists would have both broken. They were the second thing to hit the pavement after my arse. Which, I figure, I managed to crack the tailbone. At the time I was an aerobics instructor and for months I couldn't do crunches or anything where I was resting on my tailbone.

I finished my little 'tale' and J said, when was this? I thought for a moment and said, oh likely 93, 94. That's when she said, I bet that's what started this all. Apparantly if you crack your tailbone it can heal crooked and twist things in that area and can knock you right out of whack eventually, especially over 16 years. Really??!!!

So it appears the mystery as to how this all started may be solved. Which is good and bad. Good because I knew something has been up for a long time, but didn't know why. Bad because it means once I get things in alignment I will have to keep vigalent to ensure things don't shift back. Ah well.

So kids, the moral of this story is always wear a pillow on your bundakadunk if you are going to go roller blading. Better yet, get rollerskates. They are much easier to stop in!

Peace out my lovely friends!

Recovery...

2009-09-12T15:59:00.004-07:00

Oh look at that...I have a blog. One that I like to write in and yet have somehow managed not to write in for far too long. Now...where to start to play catch up??

Let's see...after the race I guess. I promise, I'll keep this as short as Susi'ly possible.

Right after the race I had debated racing Ironman Cozumel as planned. I'd done poorly in the heat in Penticton, so was wondering the sanity of racing in Mexico! Thankfully, I am a smart girl. Crazy, yes, but smart. I decided not to think about Cozumel the day after I've finished an Ironman! Instead, I'd give it some time to wash around in this noggin of mind then decide what to do.

After the rae I took a week to go and visit my family and friends who live away from me. A wee road trip you might say. First up was visiting my family in Princeton. My uncle had promised me MONTHS ago to cook me some delectible BC salmon after I finished Ironman. Poor guy didn't remember this, but I sure did! He makes the BEST bbq salmon ever.

I did actually give my aunt and uncle a shout a few weeks before to, er, remind them. Now here's the really funny part about this... It was nice and sunny when the Parental Unit and I arrived at Uncle Lornes and Auntie Joan's. They and my cousin, whom I affectionately call Lola Jane, were sitting in back.

The sun was beaming. It was hot. Almost too hot to sit in. Lo and behold there were some dark clouds up yonder. When the time came to cook up the two salmons my uncle had prepared the clouds had opened up and we had, what could most likely be called a monsoon, burst onto us.

Well, 'us', is a bit of an exaggeration. It opened up on my uncle who was crouched in the pouring rain checking the bbq that was under a shelter that did nothing to stop rain going sideways from soaking my uncle. He made sure to remind me at dinner that I should never question how much he loves me seeing as he almost drowned making me a bbq salmon that he had forgotten about.

I gotta say, it was the best dang salmon ever and I was most thankful for it and for the company of my family.

From there I headed out to my friends Jeff and Doreens who live in small town Southern BC. They retired there a few years ago and now have a couple of wee donkeys and a gorgeous little Labradoodle. I had a blast telling the tale of my race day and kicking back. We partook in a little bit of wine that I brought them from the interior of BC, where I had raced.

It was wonderful seeing them again and catching up on the latest news. To this point I hadn't done anything but drive and sit. My butt was starting to feel it too. In the sense that my hip/glute was acting up again.

I left them and headed off to Julie's, who'd also raced in Ironman Canada. It was time for serious down time...

First things first we had to hug then chat non stop about our races. Then it was time for some food, and wine for me, the more chit chat. Julie hit the hay and left me with the first episode of True Blood to watch. As I don't have cable I hadn't seen an episode, but heard about it.

I was hooked.

The next morning we ate, talked more, then set of for a little walk/hike to try and get our bodies to move. There was a cute path to follow in the Pass that takes you to a little waterfall. This was no serious hike folks, we were both wearing our flip flops.

As we walked along we chatted more. (Seriously, Julie and I could talk non stop for hours and never get bored. Same goes for Jenna.) At one point Julie said we were walking to fast. This girl raced IMC HARD and took an hour and a half off her time, so I was happy to slow down. Later on I'd learn even though I felt I could walk that pace, I shouldn't have been.

We saw the waterfall, then in our flipflops preceeded to go up this hill. The fun was in getting down the hill where there was nothing for the flops to grab onto! As we walked back along the path we started to meet up with people heading to the falls. All were clothed as if they were going to hike Lady MacDonald in Banff or something.

One little ol' dear had a walking stick with bear bell. She was adorable! She stopped and said 'Oh I'll let you girls go by - it gives me a chance to rest. How much farther to the falls?' It was a good thing Julie and I couldn't see each others faces. We are talking a 20 minute walk here...

I gave thanks at that moment that I have my health and a 20 minute walk felt easy to me. I also gave thanks that my folks would have found the walk easy too!

The last five minutes of the walk I felt my hips. Ow. Ow. Ow. Oh how I couldn't wait to go see the ortho massage gal on Tuesday! I realized Julie was right in slowing us down. Funny how it sneaks up on you.

My legs were shaking by the time we got to the cafe for a tea and treat! SHAKING. I was hanging on to the treats display glass in a rather long line thinking if I don't sit down soon I'm going to fall down. How sad is that?

The rest of my visit was spent sharing some yummy recipes I learned, convincing Julie that it wasn't just pale skinny people with hairy armpits that eat food from the health food store, and devouring episodes of True Blood. We ended up watching the ENTIRE first season in an evening and morning. I swear the best line ever in that show (considering our health store foray) was 'I am an organic vegan who has a minimal carbon footprint' from the girl who was all about draining this vampire of his 'v-juice'.

Since getting home I've been taking it easy. I had my appointment with my orthodpaedic massage therapist to get things worked out with my SI joint. The tales from the table will be shared another day in an effort to not make this a epic tale. Although I suspect it likely already is. Meh, that's my style!

I have been walking a bit to stay active, did some yoga and today went out for a bike ride for the first time. I kept it short and just did an hour and a half, but if felt good, other than some back pain. I was out with my 'nesan' Esther and we had a good giggle about how she kept tucking in behind me to draft. Um, I think I'm the one that deserves to draft here a wee bit sister!!

All in all I'm trying to heal my body from the race and from a long standing injury so I can be ready for (drum roll please...) Ironman Cozumel. Yup, I decided after some thought that I really do want to do this race and I will figure out the heat thing. I've already talked to some people about what might have gone wrong on the IMC course so that I can be better prepared for IMCoz.

My training for that race will commence next week as the race is November 29. Hopefully, with the help of the ortho RMT, I can get things back in alignment in time for the 'hard' training. Fingers and toes are now crossed!

Peace out my lovely friends!

Ironman Canada 2009 Race Report...

2009-09-01T06:55:00.007-07:00

"Life can be found only in the present moment. The past is gone, the future is not yet here, and if we do not go back to ourselves in the present moment, we cannot be in touch with life." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Dear Tigger,

Well, I did it. I managed to complete another Ironman Canada. This year it was all about you my friend. I wanted to be able to honour your memory somehow and I thought this would be a great way as we finished it together in 2007. Then I found your race report from 2007 and saw that you were thinking it'd be great to race again this year. That sealed the deal.

We made it exciting in 2007, and let me tell ya, this year was just as exciting. The big difference was I handled things very differently. Let me start at the beginning though...

I had felt great leading up to race day, and that feeling continued with me as I got ready to go. It's funny how 4am doesn't seem super early on race day? Any other day I'd find many excuses not to get up!

After the usual morning ritual, the Parental Unit and I made our way to the start. Gave them both a big hug then, dropped my bag off at the special needs bin (I was very pleased with myself that I dropped it in the right bin) and went to body marking.

I asked the fellow if he could write '4 Tigger' on my calve. It was hard for me to ask as I could feel the emotions rising into my throat. He was hesitant but when I told him why I wanted it he wrote it right away. I was very thankful for that. Then I made my way to transition.

I was there pretty early so had a lot of time to make sure I had everything in place where it needed to be. I saw Richelle and went up to wish her a great day as it was her first Ironman. I'm not sure what started it - I think one of us said your name and that was it. I lost it. Great big sobs. I felt awful as this was Richelles first Ironman and she really didn't need this. I had seen others this morning, but didn't burst into tears. I think it was because we both knew you and both are still grieving the loss. Richelle was someone who could understand. We hugged each other for a bit then I sucked it up as I knew I had to. We wished each other a great race and went to do what we needed to do.

For the next half hour I sat looking out at the water and meditated for a while. I wanted to be still before I had to keep moving for who knows how long. I ran into some of the Team TriLife girls and was happy to share some easy banter before the race. I was bummed that I couldn't find my buddy Chuck, but with over 2600 people starting it was pretty full in transition!

Finally it was go time. I had my swim gear on, everything else was where it should be and was making my way through the swim start arch. So far it was a gorgeous day out there! This time I was going to do something different too. I was going to stand on the right side of the swim start! Bold for me, I know. Remember the last time how we stood WAY back on the left??

A couple ladies asked me if this was a good spot to stand, I told them it was a great spot! Not that I'd ever started a swim from there, but I decided it was going to be whatever I made it to be.

Know what? It WAS a great spot! Well, except for the very shallow bit and the rocks. That made the actual start a bit tricky, but I somehow got through it. Partially by going into the water and literally pulling myself forward by grabbing the rock bottom. I can imagine what a sight that might have been.

Finally I was swimming. Oh what a swim I had! It was BRILLIANT. I have never been so confident and strong in any swim as I was that day. I got right into the thick of it. I got kicked in the ribs, and some fellow (I will assume it was a dude) tried to swim up me backside, until I gave him a gentle kick (filled with love of course) to get off me.

I tried to get on someones feet to draft, and if they were too slow I'd zoom past. There were a few times when I was getting sandwiched in so I would power stroke to get through them. Me! Power stroking in a race and not dying!! It was such an amazing feeling. I kept thinking how proud Leslie would be of me.

I kept to my plan and sighted often, kept up the strong stroke, and kept moving forward. I didn't worry when there were lots of people around me, I didn't worry when I got hit, I just kept going. The only time I had a bit of difficulty was after going around the first sailboat. For one thing I was thrown off because it was a sailboat and not the usual houseboat out there! So when I turned the corner I couldn't see another houseboat and ended up aiming for another sailboat.

Halfway through this portion I caught a glimpse of the houseboat. Rats! I figured something was wrong because I didn't have as many people around me as before. So I adjusted my course and went for the houseboat.

For the first time ever I really enjoyed my swim in a race. It was a joy to hear the announcer as we got closer to shore. At long last I was on terra firma.

Into the transition tent I went. I got on my shirt that had the wee Tigger doll in the back pocket, then all the rest of the stuff, grabbed my bike and was off. I love that first bit riding up Main Street. You feel like a rock star having everyone cheer you on. I felt fantastic.

The biggest thing I noticed on the start of the ride was that I was with a lot of people. Normally I'm closer to the back, so this was a new experience. It was really hard to space out and pass people as there were just so many. Apparantly the race officials realized that too as there was drafting, but only because there were so many of us, if we all spread out we'd be a kilometer or more long.

People did do there best to leave some space though. I felt really strong going up Maclean Creek Road - normally I'm out of breath but this time I wasn't, which was a great thing. Going into OK Falls I didn't use my brakes on that huge downhill. Now that was a rush!

As I was riding I had several people go by and comment on the Tigger in my back pocket. I heard 'Go Tigger Go!', which made me smile. I kept thinking they are cheering on your spirit as you take this journey with me!

I figured I must have had a great swim because I'm sure a good thousand people passed me. It didn't bother me though because I was also doing some passing and I was still with a lot of people.

I felt really strong and kept a good pace going right up to Osooyos. Then it was time to climb Richter. I was starting to feel the heat then. I kept on top of my nutrition like I said I would and started the climb.

You'd never guess what was at the bottom of Richter. Some dude dressed up as Tigger!! I swear girl, I do not know what connection you have with that section of road, but everytime I go there your spirit appears in the form of Tigger. During the May camp it was a little Tigger doll in some guys fanny pack, and this time it was a full sized Tigger! That guy sure must have been hot later on in the day. I had a good laugh and as I rode by said 'You should look at my back pocket.' When they saw it was Tigger I got a huge cheer and "GO TIGGER!". Very cool.

I felt good climbing Richter. I made sure I cheered those people going by me and I smiled a lot as there was some really kind people cheering and encouraging all of us. I saw Wade from Great White North Tri at the top. He was announcing everyones names and numbers and cheering everyone on.

I started taking salt tablets at this point. It was hard to feel the heat as there was a headwind, but I figured I better get going with them. The rollers felt really slow to me, but it could have been the wind. I did my best climbing them, and then really pushed it on the decent and flats. This is what I do best I think. I found that people would pass me on the climb, then I'd pass them on the decent. Sometimes they'd catch me, sometimes they wouldn't.

Just my luck along the way to Keremeos I had more headwind. The wind itself didn't but me, I'm used to it. But I think it slowed me down. I remembered what coach said about staying in aeros at this point and I did my best to do that.

My neck and upper back were starting to hurt a lot so I decided I would stop at the special needs out and back to stretch a bit. There was something else going on with the bod too. I had had a gassy stomach most of the bike. This is really normal for me as both my Infinit and the bananas I take at the aid stations make me burp. I wasn't worried about it at all, just kept burping along the way.

Somewhere along the out and back though the slight discomfort in my belly, which was normal, started to get a little more intense. When I got off my bike at the out and back I actually felt a bit queasy. I had stayed on top of my nutrition to that point and was going to keep at it no matter what.

I felt much better after having a stretch. I even went to the loo. I didn't feel like I had to go, which was unusual for me, but figured as I would there I would see if I had to. I got back on the bike and had a better ride on the way towards Yellow Lake. People were starting to drop at this point I should add. I saw a guy lying on the grass under a fruit tree in one of the orchards. His bike was propped up on the tree.

I was almost at the bottom of Yellow Lake when I saw an elderly gentleman sitting on the roadside with his bike. He didn't look good and I was worried so I stopped and asked if there was anything I could do to help. He came up to me looking like the life was being sucked out of him and asked if I had any salt tabs. I gave him the last one I had. He said he had no energy and couldn't go on. I encouraged him to keep going, but then left even though I was scared for him. I saw a couple specators go towards him so I hope he got help.

The heat was getting oppressive as I climbed Yellow Lake. When the winds changed again and it was a headwind, but I wasn't upset. I needed something to cool me down. My stomach was also getting worse. I saw the Cochrane gang on the hill and stopped to break down a bit. Esther gave me a hug and then ordered me back on my bike. Or perhaps that was Linda. Not sure. I laugh about that now and am thankful for it but at the time I was thinking 'I'm okay guys, I just need to have a little cry as I really hurt right now'. Of course I couldn't spit that out.

I got more water and tried to take in a banana at the top of Yellow Lake. By now I was having troubles taking in nutriton. When I did a wave of nausea would come over me. I stuck to my plan though and no matter what kept taking in drink and food. I was also trying to drink more water thinking that maybe I had too much salt or something? At this point I didn't really know what I should do, but I didn't give up staying in touch with what I was feeling and trying to address it.

I got a bit further and had to stop. When I went into aero I wanted to vomit, when I sat up I had severe stomach pain. Hmm, this was going to be a bit of a challenge. I stopped at a porta potty near Twin Lakes. It was hear that Squeaky Boy stopped too. Honestly Tigger, this guys bike was driving me nuts. Something on it was squeaking and he'd been near me since the end of the out and back.

He'd pass, then slow down, then I'd pass and lose him for a while, then I stopped for that man, so he passed again but was close enough for me to hear his bike. Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak. This is so not what one wants to hear when they are trying to figure out what's going on with their body and going in between the need to hurl and the sharp pains.

Of course, it was Squeaky Boy though that stopped and as he watched me fold over my bike ask if I was ok and then moved his bike from the shady bit and told me to go in the shade on the other side of the porta potty. In my head I apologized immediately for all the bad names I was calling his bike. I was thankful for his compassion.

So I'm going to admit something here...it was about this point I questioned continuing the race. I know. I slipped. The ENTIRE time I had been out there I stayed in the present. I was really hurting though and wondered if continuing on would be a wise thing or if I was doing some damage to myself. As soon as I thought this though, I thought of you. And I remembered my biggest process goal - to stay in the present throughout the race no matter what was going on.

So I did. I kept pushing on and alternated between the aeros and sitting up and just pedaled the best I could. I knew at this point I wasn't going to have the race I wanted, but I was very accepting of the race I was having. It helped too that people kept commenting on the Tigger in my back pocket. It kept me focussed on what this race was all about.

Finally I made it back in town. I saw my folks and knew they'd be wondering where I was. Dad had the computer and spreadsheet thing going and was tracking everyone by their pace. My pace was great for most of the ride, then dwindled so I figured they'd be worried. I rode by and said I was having some troubles with my belly and I was sorry if I worried them. I learned later that they didn't hear the 'if I worried them part' and though I was going to call it quits.

My transition took some time, something which my Pops mentioned I should work on because everyone else had short transitions. Too funny. As I left the transition tent I took a deep breath and said to myself 'Okay Suse. Here's the game plan. We'll walk a bit and see if we can't get this belly to settle down so we can run and we are going to keep up on the nutrition no matter what'.

I had just turned the corner onto Main Street when I saw Keith and Linda. I think they could tell something wasn't quite right. Perhaps it was the fact that I was walking?! I told them my legs wanted to run, because oh how they did, but my stomach had said no.

There was a lady standing beside Keith and Linda who overheard our brief conversation. Then she saw the Tigger in my back pocket. As I started walking away she called out to me 'What would Tigger do?' What would Tigger do indeed...of course I knew that answer. You would never quit. You would stay positive and keep going and that's what I was going to do! There was no question in my mind.

So, with head held high and quite the defiant little strut, I started walking through the crowds of downtown. I may be walking, but I'm still moving forward! I saw some friends and asked one of them, John for some advice. I was still hoping to figure out what to do about the guts.

I took in some water and a power gel at the first aid station. It didn't go down well, but it didn't come back up so that was a good thing. By the time I saw the third aid station in the distance I'd made the decision I was going to try and run. My stomach still wasn't great, but this was just way to far a distance to walk!

I got into chi running postion and off I went. Hmmm, I think I can do this running thing! I saw the Parental Unit at the motel. They were shocked to see me out there and running. I told them not to worry about me, but it was possible I would be a bit slow as I wasn't sure how much I could run. Just up the road I saw David and Esther. I apologized to Esther because she'd been worried about me. They were really happy to see me running as much as I was happy to be running!

I ran for a bit with a fellow from Calgary, but lost touch with him at one of the aid stations further down. I was still burping up a storm but also there was the back end getting into the action. Needless to say all I could think about was Jen's fear of 'chocolate rain'. Yeesh. I did make a couple of porta potty stops just to make sure this might not happen.

As I ran along the lake I noticed I couldn't see the mountains. I'm not sure if I noticed the smoke before that. I know I could smell it on the bike, but figured it might be from a camp or something. Now I could see if was from nearby forest fires. It was a like a light fog covering the mountains.

I did well with the run and made it almost to the halfway point when my stomach starting giving me the sharp pains again. Rats!

I smiled as I got to the turnaround point and thought about you and I and how I felt the last time we got here. Then I was so low on fuel I couldn't see straight!! At least this time, aside from the belly I was in high spirits and totally coherent. Always a good thing eh?!

I had been power walking up the hills and was going to keep doing that for the hill out of the turnaround. I tried running on the flats a bit but was really struggling. Finally I decided I would just power walk for a while. The sun was going down and the sunset was incredible!

I wish you could have seen it. The sun was a fiery orange and the smoke was in layers and glowing slightly orange over the lake. It was a beautiful scene. At the time I didn't put two and two together...I was having troubles with my breathing. I would take a deep breath and my lungs would hurt. I didn't have my inhaler with me as I took a hit off of it in transition. Afterwards I realized it was likely the smoke getting to me too.

Along the way I finally saw JoZ. You would have been proud of her Tigger. She was finally doing her first Ironman. She told me that she was having major stomach issues and would be able to finish. My heart broke for her, but I was so proud that she wanted to go as far as she could and she was positive about everything.

I was still running and walking and playing leap frog with this gal who was walking. Finally I ended up walking with her for a while. Here name was April from TO. She was a total sweetpea. She's an engineer as well and we got to talking engineering. She's involved with cranial fascial reconstruction for little kids. The equipment they use is totally fascinating and I was picking her brain about it. I swear anyone hearing this conversation would be thinking 'what the heck are you guys talking about??'

I was biding my time at this point. I wanted to run, but I also wanted the pain in my belly to ease up a bit. I started in on the cola at some point and didn't stop. By the time I got up the last hilly bit it was time for me to run. I had been walking a bit with my friend Hope at this point and bid her adieu.

I have no idea what got into me at this point. Perhaps it was your spirit?? But I ran and I ran hard. I was at or faster than a half marathon pace at this point - I'm sure of it. I was gritting my teeth at times because it hurt so bad, but I kept thinking only 8 km to go. PUSH!! I was passing people left right and centre. Spectators were shocked at my pace, not as much as I was shocked at my pace I'm sure! I tried not to think how nice it would have been to run the entire race this strong.

I stopped quickly at the hotel and grabbed my big Tigger doll from Mom. Tigger was going to run this last bit in with me just like we did in '07. I was charging down the last few kilometers. I stopped a couple times for more cola but that was it I wasn't stopping for anything.

Finally, the last stretch. I remembered what it was like to run this stretch with you. I was thinking, 'Well Tigger, here we go again! Savour it my friend, this is all for you!!' I charged forward and held the Tigger doll up high as I made my way across the finish line. I was so happy to see Keith pop out of the crowd to catch me. Then I crumbled. It had been one heck of a day.

After helping me to gather my stuff I went out and met up with the Parental Unit. I'm sure they were glad there was no repeat of a medical tent visit like there was in 2007! I left them to go use the loo, and just as I sat down I thought 'Oh oh, what if I can't get up??' Thankfully I did. We then chatted with friends and then it was time to go back to the hotel. I was a wee hurtin' unit.

I told you I would get us in quicker than the last time, and I managed that. Not by a whole heck of a lot of time, but it was still good. The day wasn't what I had hoped to give you, but really, it was a great day. I accomplished what I set out to do, which was to stay positive and stay in the present NO MATTER WHAT.

I was challenged with the pain that was going on, but I didn't let it get me down. I continued to stay on my nutrition and to try different things to help the situation. I smiled a lot. I thought of you tons! In the rough spots I thought of my friends and family and how blessed I am with this incredible life.

Some would be disappointed with that type of race, I'm sure. Me, well, I think of it a different way. I look at it as this is what being an Ironman is all about. Not only taking on the challenge of a 3.8 km swim, 180 km bike, and 42.2 km run, but also taking on all the challenges that go with the day and staying positive no matter what is handed to you.

Thank you Tigger for having been in my life and showing me how to smile throughout the tough bits. Thank you for giving me the courage and the strength to face the day. And thank you for being my guardian angel - I just know you had a hand in giving me the energy to finish the race strong.

Your spirit will always be in my heart.

Love always,
Susi.

One More Sleep...

2009-08-29T15:08:00.005-07:00

Only one more sleep till race day - Ironman Canada 2009 - and I have never felt so calm and at peace in my life. Hmmm....

WHERE IS SUSI AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER??

The 'old' Susi used to have a lot of anxiety. My stomach would be in knots for days before. All the meditation, Buddhist teachings and lessons from my other 'teachers' is being put to very good use I must say. I am giving many thanks for that!

I have had a great time out here so far. First we get purple wristbands - how cool is that? Then yesterday I went out with the parental unit to do a little vineyard touring. Granted, I didn't drink any wine, want to keep this bod in fine form for Sunday, but I loved all the scenery. There are some gorgeous places out here.

After that I chillaxed a bit then a few of us met up for sushi. As Dad jinxed me with the sushi - he uttered the words 'You aren't going to eat sushi 2 days before the race are you? We aren't anywhere near the ocean here, I wouldn't trust it' - I couldn't eat the sushi because even though I'd been to this sushi restaurant several times before I knew that if I went against my fathers warning that I would get sick soooo I stuck with one avocado roll, miso soup and some edamame. For those who know my sushi habits I know you are going to fall off your chairs with that news. After dinner I headed off to the race meeting with Jen.

We met up with Chuck there, who was brave enough to eat their food. <>. The meeting was it's usual self...I missed a couple of things due to texting and when I went to ask Jen what they said she'd missed it because she was texting too. Ah yes, modern toys. Yikes!

We left there and headed for the street party. I had to find the parental unit somewhere in the chaos...okay, here's when mobile phones really do come in handy! On the way to finding them before they 'walked back to the hotel' I found a prayer bead braclet at a kiosk, just like the one I was trying to find. Another good omen!! I didn't stay to look at the wee Buddha statue but I know the smiling one was calling me! Too bad the fellow wouldn't be at the market this morning so I could get my Buddha.

After another good nights rest, I met up with my buddy and Iron-bro Chuck at the lake. We had a little swim/bike/run to do today. I was very grateful to have him to hang out with and do some training with. Even though this is his FIRST Ironman and even though he couldn't swim a stroke last year, he is SUPER calm. This is the type of person I need to hang with the day before the race!

I didn't feel great in the swim, or on the bike, and was breathing hard on the run. All good signs. A crap pre race workout means a good race the next day. Or at least that's what I'd like to believe! After that good stuff we walked to the transition area to drop our goodies off and to do a dry run of transition.

On the way we spotted what looked to be an old style skeleton key on the ground. Chuck picked it up and I was like 'How cool!' so he gave it to me. As I looked at it I saw it wasn't old, and had wee hearts on it. Then I turned it over and it had written on it 'Key to my heart'. Of course I had to bug Chuck about him giving me the key to his heart! I then said 'This is SO going in the blog' which we laughed about for quite a time.

We walked through transition, took some photos, saw gorgeous Julie there and the ever encouraging and wonderful Linda and Earl, which was great. One of the great things about this race is how many wonderful and encouraging people you see here. I love it! The photo below of Chuck and Julie is just brilliant! You guys rock!

Then I headed home to hibernate till the race. I've had a long nap now and am going to just chillax for the rest of the afternoon.

It's hot out here today, and race day is supposed to be hotter (32 C with sun), but I'm ok with that. Tomorrow is going to be what it is going to be. No sense fretting about it. I have bought some salt tabs so likely will break the cardinal rule and will test out something new on race day.

I don't have a time goal for tomorrow instead I have process goals. Some of my process goals are to stay strong in the swim, to keep sighting every 6 strokes, to stay present, to sit up on the bike till get halfway up main street, stay steady and strong on the bike, stay on top of my nutrition, stay present, lose richter, stay down in aeros even if the winds are hard towards Keremeos, savour Yellow Lake, run strong, stay on top of nutrition, stay cool as I can, be thankful, enjoy the moments, and smile.

Smile because I am here and have the health and ability to take on the event called Ironman. Smile because I'm blessed to have amazing friends and family. Smile because I love seeing all the athletes and how wonderful they are. And smile because Tigger smiled all the time in IMC 2007.

To all the athletes I wish you nothing but the best here in Penticton and down south in Louisville! Stay present out there and you will be just fine!

Peace out my glorious friends!

Hello From Penticton!!!

2009-08-27T17:54:00.004-07:00

Greetings from Penticton British Columbia, home of Ironman Canada. I left Alberta at 5 am this morning. It was a loooong drive as I didn't sleep much last night due to the excitement of my trip.

Finally, I arrived around lunchtime, at the same time as the parental unit who were driving here from Vancouver. We unloaded the cars and then Dad and I changed into our swim gear then headed down to the Registration area where I got all registered and met up with Chuck, Allan and Dwayne.

I just know this is going to be a good race. Know why? Because the athlete wristbands are PURPLE!! How can I go wrong when they are handing out my favourite colour?! Too bad the clothes weren't purple, but I guess I can't be too greedy eh? The gorgeous wristband is displayed below along with my many friendship bracelets from my dear friend Sk8rboi.

The other reason I know this race is going to be good is because I got the same hotel room my best bud Leslie had when she raced Ironman in 2007. I had told her before I left home that if I got scared or worried I was going to channel her as she is brilliant at staying present and mindful. Then I got her room. How cool is that??

After getting registered and mosying around the Ironman retail tent - I only bought one tri top as the rest of the stuff was just 'meh' quality - Dad, the boys and I went to the lake for a swim. Only Chuck and I are in the race so we were the suckers that had to put on wetsuits in the heat. We found some shade so it wasn't too bad.

The water temperature was perfect. A little choppy, but I was glad for this. It gave me a taste, literally, of what race day will be like. At one point I got a major brain enema as water shot up my nose. I swear it was like gnawing on a tablespoon full of wasabi. I forced myself to keep swimming though and practiced my sighting. I'm really happy with my swim as I know even last year I was nervous when the water was choppy. This one I attacked the waves like a bulldog to a bone.

I was super stoked for Chuck. I think it's safe to say he didn't swim last year when he signed up. Now he's in the water and kicking butt. There were a couple of nervous moments for him I think, but I was majorly proud of how he took a moment then got back in the swim. That takes major kahunas!

Tomorrow I will do a few tasks but otherwise just get my gear ready to check in on Saturday. It's supposed to be 34 C on race day. I don't know how that will play out for me, but that's all part of the adventure.

I'm still feeling really good about the race. I am happy to be here with my friends and family in this gorgeous little town!

Peace out my friends!