The Camp...Day One

Greetings from gorgeous Penticton, BC!! If you've never been to this location, let me tell you a little about it. Penticton is home to Ironman Canada and on the May long weekend the roads and highways are taken over by lycra wearing cyclists and triathletes. The collection of IM wear here is outstanding needless to say!

Penticton is nestled in the Okanagan Valley and surrounded by desert, vineyards and orchards. In the summer months the fruit stands are all open for business and you can buy some of the most succulent fruit you've ever tasted! And let's not forget the wine! If you love wine, you will love this area. The majority of vineyards are open for tasting sessions and sales. Can you say yum??? Oh how many times have I ridden these roads and thought, I really just want to pull over and do a taste test!

After leaving Vancouver at about 4:55 am this morning, I arrived here shortly before 9 am. The gang had just left but Greg had arranged for Sarah, who wasn't riding today, to drive me to where they were and start riding from there. That way I wouldn't have to ride alone.

Todays route is a counterclockwise route of the Ironman Canada course; however, we take Green Mountain Road out and skip the out and back. Green Mountain Road is my happy place. There are towering trees, yellow daisy's lining the road, horses, baby horses, cows, wee lakes, a creek, and some great road. It's a bit of a climb to Apex Ski Resort, then a decent to the bottom of Yellow Lake, which is what you climb in the race.

The best thing about this section of road is that you get to feel what it would be like to ride like a pro. After all the climbing there is the decent and some flats. The decents are fast enough that you can hold a kick butt speed on the flats. Then the roads twists and turns and you lean into and peddle like stink and it just rocks!! I was giddy. Which was good because at the start my legs were burning climbing up the hills. There is something to be said about starting your ride on a hill!

Some of the group turned to go up Yellow Lake and back to town, while the rest of us met up at Bear Market. It's closed until the summer season, but the owner happened by and opened up the loo for us, how sweet was that! Of course it was only the girls who used it.

We left there and started for the backside of Richter. I had felt fairly strong for the most part, and even slayed the first few of the rollers. I was really stoked that I could stay in my big ring for a few of them. Then I hit the last roller before Richter and things sloooowwweeed riiigght down.

I have no idea what happened, but as my pedaling slowed, my confidence dropped and negative thoughts started to creep in. I really have no idea why, but it totally sucked. I was starting to question my abilities and why I was doing this. I tried to fight the thoughts. I acknowledged that I was thinking negativly and started to focus on positive things - the clear blue sky, the warm sun, the sprinkling of yellow flowers along the hills, the fact that I had ridden as far as I had, which meant I had my health, and the smiling faces of some of the cyclists I saw riding down the hills.

The battle of good and bad went on for the ENTIRE climb. Thinking like that is truly exhausting; therefore I don't recommend doing it. Staying positive and in the present is the name of the game. What can I say, even those of us that practice that on a daily basis can fall into the old negative ego trap. At least I'm aware when it happens!

I made it down to the Husky station and met up with Kelly, Leslie, Chad and Greg. I have to say a huge thank you to all of them because their wonderful positive energy was what I needed to blast away the negatives I had! Yay!! I am sooo not meant to be a negative person, I swear!

After refilling water bottles etc, we headed out. The majority of the group had already left, so it was Chad, Leslie and I that started out together. Chad was off like a shot and Leslie and I had a bit of pace line. Both of us were commenting how much our legs were screaming on the slightest incline. We'd both only done 76-80 km prior, so this was our first big ride of the year and it was a doozy. I could literally feel each muscle that make up the quadriceps. Oh and let's not forget my IT band. I could feel that big time. My butt cheek...well, it's a given I could find that.

Leslie got a flat just out of Oliver so I stopped while she changed it. To be honest, I was good with taking a bit of a recovery break. After that we motored on through to the next stop, which was an outhouse. We then quickly zipped to Tickleberrys and met up with Chad and Rusty, who also suffered a flat.

At one point we had thought we'd go ride McLean Creek, but by the time we were near there our legs had had it so we just rode the IMC run course. It was pretty smooth sailing along there and I had a big smile on my face just being near the lake. It's so beautiful along there.

I was able to stay in the big ring for the little hills along there, so that was a bonus. When we got back to the hotel we ran for about 10 minutes then gingerly walked into the lake to cool our legs. I am not sure how many times I said 'bugger' as I walked in, but it was several. Holy hannah that water is cold! Thankfully it's not that bad during the swim of IMC.

I checked with Leslie to see how many kilometers she had so I would know how many I missed by getting a drive out. Turns out I rode 19 km less, so I'll try and make that up tomorrow. So my total mileage for today was 139.2 km. And yes, the 0.2 km count!

Speaking of tomorrow, we'll drive to Oliver, swim (water temp depending) in the lake there, then attack Anarchist. That's a 20 km climb that is Hwy 3 East out of Osooyos.

This weekend is mainly about putting in mega amounts of mileage. Last year it made quite a difference for me and I'm hoping for that again this year!

Oh, and the best thing? Other than the amazing people, and gorgeous scenery? It's supposed to be hot, hot, hot out!! Snoopy Happy Dance!

Peace out my wonderful friends.

We Aren't Going To Get Wet Are We???

Okay, so last year I had an 'incident' per se. It was an overcast day with a bit of a sprinkle happening. I put on many many layers of clothing, figuring if I had fleece on and I got wet I'd still be ok. My theory failed, really really badly.

I was going up Horse Creek Road and by the time I thought, hmm, it's raining out quite a bit now and I'm cooling down, it was too late. The rain came down harder and the wind picked up. Halfway back to my house I lost feeling in my hands, and face and all other bits. I decided to call and ask for an emergency pick up. The problem was, my hands were so frozen I couldn't unzip the ziploc bag my cell was in. And when I finally got that open, with my teeth, I couldn't take my helmut off so I could put the phone up to my ear.

Panic started to set in, but I managed to stay calm and use my speaker phone etc to get help. I got a ride from my buddy David and once home I spent the next few hours trying to thaw out. My lips finally went from blue, to purple to pink. Phew. Ever since then I've been scared to ride in the rain for fear of a repeat experience. I just don't have the right gear.

Yesterday I had a ride planned with my buddy Lance. Just to shift topics a bit here, his name isn't really Lance. It's Andrew. But in University there were 6 Andrews so we nicknamed this one Lance Romance on account of the fact that he was romancing this gal to no end. It was so sweet - totally worked too (for any dudes out there wanting to meet a gal). Anyways, that's why we call him Lance. Although now that he's doing the Ride to Conquer Cancer and he's taken up the sport of cycling and triathlon, I have a feeling it won't be long before he earns the nickname Lance after a certain famous cyclist we all know...

Phew, that was a long explanation. Anyways, Lance and I were going to go out riding, but all day I was looking out the window and seeing rain. A lot of rain. Did I mention Vancouver is a rainforest?? This is why it's so green and pretty! By the time Lance got here, just before 4 pm, the sky started to clear. Ah yes, Mother Nature truly does love me!

Of course, I've lived here long enough to know that things can change really quickly, no matter how much I am loved by Mother Earth herself, and the rain can be back. So I made sure I had my new clear rain cycling rain slicker stuck in my back pocket, not to mention various layers of clothing. Also, we decided to do the route I did on Sunday, but stop at the major intersection and go back along the out and back. Essentially we went out, then back, then out again, then back again, in an attempt to get in 3 hours and some decent kilometers. Worst case scenario, we get caught in a monsoon, we could take one of the crossroads back to my parental units abode in no time.

After all that I was finally ready to brave the outdoors and my fear of hypothermia II. We left at 4pm on the nose. Mom made sure she had a photo of us before we headed out!

You may note in the photo that I have enough nutrition to feed a small pelaton, whereas Lance has one bottle. Yup, I've bonked more than enough times too to make sure I have enough! Lance is 8 years younger than me; therefore a pup, so I figured he'd do just fine. (And yes, I'm allowed to call him a pup cause he teases me non stop about being 'old'.)

At last we headed out into the great blue-grey yonder. It turned out to be a really great evening for a ride. There were some clouds, but we managed to stay away from them for the first part of the trip. My legs felt pretty good considering I'd done a ride the day before and, for me, rode quite hard.

On the way back from the first out/back we did get a sprinkled on a bit, but nothing major. I somehow lucked out and wore just the right amount of clothes.

The second time for the out/back was a bit different as far as how my legs felt. The littlest incline made them burn. I still wanted to make sure I rode as hard as I could though for a couple reasons a) I am trying to push my riding this year and b) there was no way in heck I was going to let young Lance drop me. Not that he would because he's nice, but hey, I wanted to make sure I was nearby. Yes, I have an ego.

As we rode I found it amusing that the roads were soaking wet. This was amusing because we really didn't see any rain. Just a very brief sprinkle. So somehow as we rode we bypassed all the rain when it actually did come down. A very cool thing. As we made our way back to the parental units we noticed how very dark and scary the sky had become ahead of us. We were pedaling towards it actually. I hoped that it would stay ahead of us and it did!

Just for the record, I sooo love Mother Nature! I look after her and she looks after me. Can't ask for more!

Today I was supposed to do an hour aerobic run. I headed out in the afternoon with the best of intentions. My hip and butt said otherwise. I felt like I was about 100 years old and a robot. This is when Styx's song 'Mr. Roboto' popped into my head, much to my chagrin. "Domo arigato Mr. Roboto, Thank you very much, Mr. Roboto". There it's in your head now too. Gotta share the pain!!

So my hour run turned into a 20 minute run. Honestly, it was disappointing. I was so slow that if you poured some molasses down beside me, it would run faster than I was! Just when you think you are in decent shape, blammo, you can't do an hour run at an easy pace. This is triathlon though. Some weeks you are a rockstar, some weeks you are not. If I were to let this get me down though I'd be a wuss of the umpth degree, and I'd prefer not to be that so instead I will chalk it up to experience and move forward with a smile! Afterall, I did cover 130 km on the bike in two days.

Thanks to Lance for coming out with me on the ride, it was awesome getting to hang with you again! You are going to do amazing on the Ride To Conquer Cancer and I'm super proud of you for taking on such a challenge. You rock dude!

Peace out my friends!

Surprise!!!

With Mothers Day coming up I decided to drive home to BC to surprise my mom with a visit last Friday. (My dad new of the visit so I knew they'd be home etc.) For some reason the drive felt a bit longer this time - it could be because all the summer construction has started on the highways. It took me just over 10 hours to get here but it was well worth it!

Mom was stoked to see me (always a good sign) and we had a nice sushi dinner out.

I just gotta say it....it's GORGEOUS out here! Why oh why do I live in Alberta when there is spring in BC??? On Saturday I went out for a run and it was absolute bliss. I ran to my favourite little trail (did I mention most of this area is a rain forest??) and was happy to see everything green green green. I even found a new path to run there! There was some skunk weed on that path though, so not as heavenly a smell as the cedar trees in my favourite path.

Had a great run too. Likely because I felt light as air through the trees. When in doubt, always go back to nature. I firmly believe we are part of nature and when you need a boost it's good to be surrounded by it.

Later that day I met up with friends and headed to Stanley Park. It was so awesome there! The flowers are out in full force and everyone was walking, riding, running, playing rugby, cricket or soccer there. Amazing!

Today, after attempting to make mom brekkie, she went to play in her garden and I went off on a bike ride. I haven't ridden out here before so it was a wee bit of an adventure. I had an idea of where I wanted to go from discussions with my parents and cousin. As it turned out the ride was incredible. It went through most of the blueberry fields around here and I managed to almost get to Pitt Lake. The only thing that stopped me was the road condition. Everything was all smooth and paved up to the Swan E Set Country Club, then past that was shite. It was pretty funny.

Oh, the other thing I love out here is that there are bike lanes on the roadways! How awesome is that?? People even moved over. So nice. As I was just about home I met up with a gal and we rode for a bit. It turns out she did Ironman Canada in 2006. You know, those little m-dot tattoos on the calf are handy - you can ride up to someone and ask them which race they were in! She told me of some longer routes around that I'll have to remember. Today I got in 55 km in 2 hours. My allergies flared up (I'm allergic to all things that are green and bloom), so I got some allergy stuff for later.

My buddy Lance and I are going to go for a longer ride either Monday or Tuesday...it's supposed to rain so lets hope it's also still warm!

Here are some pictures of my adventures so you get a little snippet of what the Greater Vancouver Regional District is like!

Peace out my brilliant friends!

Here are photos from my favourite trail run near the parental units...

Photos from Stanley Park...

Photos from the bike ride...

Look! A bike lane!

The country club...

The road after the country club...not so smooth anymore...

The Highs And The Lows...

The high happened yesterday, the low today. However, I am not going to write about them in that order because I believe in ending on a high positive note. What can I say, 99.8% of the time I'm Little Miss Sunshine...today just happened to be the 0.2%.

It started out quite well...I didn't feel like it was going to be a low day, but as the day wore on it was decided today would be a low.

I had grand plans for riding outside today. In fact, I really really really wanted to ride outside today of all days. Why? Because today would have been Tiggers 47th birthday. I wanted so badly to ride outside so I could share the day with Tigger. Instead it was rainy, cold and miserable out so I decided I'd give the trainer a go.

Another problem with this weather - I get headaches from it. I had a doozy of one yesterday, and today it plunked itself behind my forehead and is still nestled there now.

I could feel the heaviness of the day slowly sink down upon me. I tried not to let it happen. I didn't want to be sad today. I tried to think of funny things. I even laughed a few times. It didn't seem to help though. I missed my friend and the fact that today was her birthday really got to me.

I set up my bike up on my trainer at lunch so that when I was finished work I would get changed and go downstairs to the dungeon right away. I thought that maybe that would be the motivation I needed. I did just that. I even got on my bike and pedaled....for about 15 minutes. That was all I could take.

It didn't matter that the picture of Tigger and I crossing the IMC finish line was right there staring at me - I just couldn't dig deep today. So I sat on my yoga mat and started stretching. I had my wee tv, with the rabbit ears, on because I figured maybe that might keep me on the bike. Just as I began stretching they started talking about a book about Randy Pausch - The Last Lecture. If you have never heard of him I urge you to click on the link - it's truly brilliant.

Well, that was all I needed. I broke down in tears - again. I thought this tear thing was gone for the most part, but apparantly not. It had been lurking in the background just waiting for the moment - and that moment was today. So I just let it all go. After a while I sat there and though, 'Well isn't this pathetic'. Then I got up, took a deep breath and went upstairs. I had some errands to run. I kept thinking about a couple things that Randy had spoken of.

So let's talk about the highs now, because that's what we should focus on isn't it?! Yesterday I had two highs to be honest, one occurred in my swimming, the other in my run.

We'll start with the swim, because I did that first. I had two sets of 1000 m to do. I decided I would swim the first 1000 m as a time trial to see how I am doing. I've tweaked my technique a bit and the posture correction has helped me with my strength so I was hoping for a good time.

First off I am proud to report that my meditation practice is paying off for my swimming and I was able to focus the entire 1000 m on my swim and NOT lose count of my laps. YAY! Huge step for Susi.

Second, I stayed under 20 minutes...this took me a few years to get to. My first 1000m swim was around 40 minutes in 2006. My time for this one was 19:55 minutes. It was about 20 seconds slower than last year, so admittedly I was a tad bit bummed about it, but when I reflect on my swim I realize how much stronger I felt. I wasn't bagged at 19:55, which to me means I need to set a new normal, as my friend Keith has so aptly said.

So next time I will push a bit harder and set a new normal for my swim.

My second high came when running. I was excited that I was actually running in the afternoon because during the day I was almost knocked over with a migraine. I willed it away because I really wanted to run...so it went away.

I started out with a 40 minute run at a relatively quick pace (the new norm for running!), then I headed for 'The Hill'. I had a brief thought of dread about doing hill intervals. I caught that negative thought though and rearranged it so I was happy about doing hills because they are going to make me a better triathlete. Or so I hope.

I have run up this darned hill many a time, but never measured how long it was. I looked down at the garmin, checked my time and the starting point and began my ascent. I gotta be honest, it wasn't pretty. I pulled my mantra 'faster, stronger, better' out of my hat to get me up the hill. I remembered that it usually gets easier, although why this is I know not.

I ran for three minutes of up....that got me to the top, which turned out to be 0.5 km from the bottom. Phew! I slowly ran down the hill, turned around and did it again. Then I did it again. So that's 3 hill intervals and with each one I felt stronger. I love it when that happens!!

After the last run, I headed towards home. As some of you may know, I live at the top of a hill...now you know why this is called 'the Bonus Hill' because it doesn't matter if I've ridden 180 km, ran for 3 hours or have done hill intervals, I still have to climb the bonus hill. Just before I started the climb I looked down at my Garmin. You know, for the last four years I've run up this hill but have never known how long it was!

I slowly made my way up. This hill is a little less steep than 'The Hill', but I could feel it was longer. When I got to the top I looked at my Garmin and did the math. Well now, the bonus hill is 0.74 km in length! Dang, that IS a bonus hill! I was quite pleased with my training session. Even more when I checked out my average pace and saw it was 6:45 min/km. Not too shappy when you were doing hill intervals as well.

So that is my high and that's the note I'm going to end off on.

Actually, no, there is one more thing. Part of Randy Pausch's lecture is about doing the things that make you happy and making sure you do one happy thing a day. So when I went out to run errands today I bought a chocolate bar and ate it even though I didn't feel I'd 'worked' for it. I gotta tell ya, it was one the best damn chocolate bars I've ever eaten! See, no matter how glum things are, you can always find something to make you happy!

Peace out my lovely friends!

Holy Mother Of All Things Of Searing Pain...

First off a wee recap....hmmmm...what did I do Monday??? Right! I swam AND ran! The swim was absolutely brilliant. Coach Greg and I worked on some swim time goals (along with the running time goals) last week and so now I actually had a time to aim for whilst swimming. I gotta say, this makes a big difference.

I'm used to training on my own, but last year had a swim coach so finally learned how to use those big darned clocks with the four 'seconds' hands. So confusing when you don't know what you are doing. Unfortunately though, this year I pretty much forgot what my times were so never really used the clock. Now I am back in the game and if yesterdays swim is any indication then there is the slighest possibility that maybe...just maybe... I might actually become a faster swimmer! How cool would that be?!

I did a warm up, then jumped into 12 x 50 m, then 6 by 200 m. The 200m intervals were cool as I was swimming at varied paces - 50 easy, 100 moderate and 50 as fast as you can (or "almost puking" as I like to refer to them). I got to mix these intervals within intervals up too so it made it even more interesting.

I did well keeping the pace I was trying to achieve and was ever so happy I took a couple of puffs of the inhaler in the morning!

Later on in the afternoon I went out for an easy 45 minute run. I was quite thankful it was easy because as it turns out I was feeling my 55 km ride from the day before. Nothing painful, my legs just felt a bit more leaden than they had the past week. It was a gorgeous run - the sun was out and I actually went out with just shorts and a tech shirt. Well, and sneakers and sunglasses of course. I mean, gotta have the sneaks and I wouldn't be cool without the shades now would I??

It was a tad bit windy out (read 30km/h winds) and I was really feeling it as I ran up the bonus hill. Not just that I was running full on in the headwind, but I had my hair in the usual braided pigtails and these were getting whipped around in the back of my head like someone was there whipping me to go faster! I would have laughed, but I was sucking wind as I ran up the hill. I checked out the Garmin and it would appear that I run up the hill faster than I run the flats. I'm going to assume that was an error on the Garmin's part...either that or I'm a sucker for punishment!

Today I was scheduled to go for a bike ride. The weather report was sort of all over the place and I had a physio appointment at 8am so I figured I might still be able to go outside, but it would have to be before the 70km/h winds kicked up...

I hadn't seen Janice in a couple of weeks and as I have been running much better without little to no arse pain I mentioned I was a bit worried that my other muscles were back to compensating. She did a series of range of motion exercises with me and was quite pleased with the improvement! I can even lift my leg off the table about 3/4 of a inch now, which means the arse is definitely building muscle!! Woohoo! (Yes, I'm shaking it like I won't break it right now!)

That was the fun stuff...then she started the physio part. Seriously, she needs to get a piece of leather that I can bite down on! HOLY HANNAH it was not fun. My hip flexors are being very disagreeable and Janice said if I don't start doing hardcore stretching of them I am going to limit the degree of strength I can get for the old buttocks. So she worked on the hip flexors and IT band. It was as if someone was running a hot iron down my legs!! At one point I had to grab the leg that wasn't being worked on because I thought I might inadvertantly kick her. Honestly, Janice is a super super kind woman and an amazing physiotherapist. She's helped me out a ton already, which is why I let her torture me....because I know it's going to make a difference.

Sure enough she checked things out after the muscle burning therapy and I could actually lay flat on the table! My low back was down and my legs were too. (Before she did her thing you could fit a half basketball under the small of my back and my legs were somewhat arched. It was rather odd.)

I felt really good afterwards too. Like I could move more easily. The only bummer was that she recommended I not bike today in order to give my legs a rest as they'd been through the wringer. (Really? So my trying not to kick and sucking air rather than breathing normally kind of hinted that I was going through the wringer eh... heh)

I was bummed but not too bummed as I'm heading to a cycling camp for the long weekend and I plan on doing some serious miles there. I'll try to add on to Thursdays ride as well. I have a feeling that one will be indoors as it's supposed to rain. Bascially I'll make up for it.

I'm still feeling good, and already I've done the two stretching exercises. I'll try and get two more in before bed.

It will be intersting how this season feels as I get my hips and muscles etc doing what they are supposed to be doing. Janice figured it'd be next year when I see the full results, but so far things are looking better, so for that I'm very grateful!

Peace out my friends!

Gassy Jack...

Just so we are clear here, this title does not refer to one Gassy Jack whose statue is located in Gastown, Vancouver, BC. I'm going to have to google his significance because I forget - although I do think he's cool.

No, Gassy Jack was me last week. Why? Cause I was gassy and my nickname is Jack. Holy hannah is was a rough training week. It was supposed to be my first week back from my recovery week, but I did not get enough training in as I felt rather icky. I think the physical part of all the emotional stuff finally caught up or something. I had no energy, was gassy, as mentioned above, and was dealing with the wonderful world of assplosions. What's up with that?!

I did manage to get in three great runs (meaning actually running not 'runs' that go with assplosions....although that did come in to play too). Huh. Perhaps this is too much information? Oh well. Such is the life of triathlon. We pee in our wetsuits, on our bikes, blow snot rockets and discuss bowel movements. But I digress.

So I ran quite well three times, although I did have some butt clenching issues towards the end so the last bits were ever so tricky. It doesn't help that I have to run up a very long hill to get to my place. Oh, and exactly how is it that your arse KNOWS when you are near the toilet?? So you are running the last bit home and you are managing quite well, even though you know you absolutely have to go, but as soon as you walk in the door your arse senses you are near a loo and it is all you can do to get the knot of your shorts drawstring undone and open the lavatory door in enough time that you can slam your butt on the seat before the big kaboom! Again, I digress...

So getting back to training - I only got part of a swim done and one bike session too. Sigh. Totally sucky.

Today, however, totally made up for it. I FINALLY got OUTSIDE on my bike! I can hear the angels singing 'Halleluyah' now.

I wasn't sure what it would be like out so went full on prepared. (Having a hypothermic experience tends to have that affect on a person.) I had on leg warmers, shorts, bike jersey, bike shirt, IMCDA bike jacket and mitts - then carried arm warmers, skull cap, and toe warmers in my jacket. Oh, and I also had two bananas, a fruit stick, and enough Infinit to ride for about 4 hours. Did I mention I was only going out for a couple of hours?? Actually, I wasn't sure how long the ride would take me, but it's my favourite route so I had an idea.

I just wasn't sure how I'd feel, or if the weather would turn or what. I had a couple friends come out from the city to ride with me so we did the prerequisite chat about what everyone was wearing. Just so we could be sure we were sane with our selections.

As soon as I started pedaling I was in heaven. Ahhh. The fresh air, the trees, the creek, the young boy who just pulled out in front of me riding a motorcross bike that is puking blue smelly smoke at me....

We rode the Grand Valley-Horse Creek Loop, which will be part of the Ironman Calgary 70.3 route next year. I had feared that it would be overrun with cyclists and on the last half of the ride I had that fear confirmed. It's an amazing route because it's in the country, you are surrounded by farms, cows, llamas and space. There are very few vehicles along there too so it's very quiet and it's also why everyone loves it. The fact that it's now on a map just makes it even more popular.

We didn't see anyone for the first half and then as we went back we came across what I can only describe as a tour group. We had all ranges of adult right up to 'little ol' dear' level. They were riding road bikes, mountain bikes, and I even saw a couple of cruisers. Cruisers...serioulsy?? Did I mention how hilly this ride is??? I swear, if I was riding behind them and couldn't pass I would trade in my bike for a scooter and give my hair a blue rinse...

The were coming towards us though so I didn't have to worry about being out cruised by a senior, thankfully. I made sure to wave and say hi to everyone cause I hear sometimes about triathletes and roadies being snobs and I want to make sure I don't contribute to that negativity. Plus, I thought it was really cool they were all out there. One thought did cross my mind though - where the heck did they all come from?!

As for the fitness of todays ride, I was pretty pleased. After being on the trainer the last four months it's hard to figure out where you are at in you fitness. Not to mention I didn't ride much (read that as 'at all') the last few months of last year. As mentioned, this is a hilly route so it was a good test. I'm proud to say I kicked a little Lance ass on the hills and I believe my speed was faster than last year going up them. However, I did feel it in my legs AND I could not breathe.

Unfortunately, my inhaler expired and I didn't realize how much I would need one for the ride today. I was wheezing pretty bad up the hills. There were a few farmers out doing their thing and the pollens and stuff being kicked up were really getting to me. This trivial little fact could not take the smile off my face though. I LOVED being out there. It was just brilliant!!

Aside from the cyclists and farmers, we had two groups of deer cross the road in front of us and the first prairie dog of the year ran in front of us. I love the praire dogs on this road as they are great at testing my bike manoeurving skills - they are also darned cute. Oh, and I almost snorted a bug too. This is a sure sign it must be spring!

I was pleased as punch when we got home and I saw that I had done that ride within the same time as my fastest time last year - although this time I didn't feel as fatigued and we took it easy through some parts. I truly hope this means that my bike fitness is a wee bit better this year and will continue to get better.

We did a short 20 minute brick after and the legs didn't complain too bad, which was also a good thing. My lungs on the other hand were screaming, itchy and wheezy. After a spot of lunch and a shower I called the pharmacy to refill my inhaler. I'm happy to report I can now take a breathe without breaking out into a coughing fit. It's amazing how wonderful air feels going deep into the lungs!

Today was truly an amazingly wonderful day. I made sure I thought of Tigger a lot too as I know she would have loved it out there!

Peace out my riding friends!

Tagged???

Okay, so today I was going to write about my oh so FANTASTIC run I had yesterday where I managed an average 6:30 min/km pace without ONCE looking at my Garmin, and which was my goal...Yes, I am THAT good!

But instead, I saw that someone...Amy...tagged me in a fun little trivia game, so instead I'm going to do that just for shites and giggles!!

So here we go! (Oh, sidenote, it's a wee bit long so you may want to grab a bevvie...wait my posts are always long. Meh, never mind...)

The rules are:
1. Fill it out
2. Change one question with one of your own
3. Add an additional question
4. Tag 3 other people to do the same

1. What are your current obsessions?
Learning three gathas from my Buddhist retreat AND figuring out how one goes about creating a community garden.
2. Which item from your closet are you wearing most often?
My Lulu lemon pants - only own one pair of the suckers as they are rather $$$.
3. Last thing you bought for myself?
Purhased at the same time (I knew I shouldn't have gone in the bike store!) a clear rain coat for riding and some SheBeest yoga pants.
4. What’s for dinner?
Nothing so far - stomach is rebelling against what, I know not! So I think I may pass...
5. Say something to the person who tagged you:
Amy, I feel as if I've gotten to know you through your blog, but I am sure that's only scratching the surface of a truly wonderful person. Your musings and writings make me smile, and I'm grateful for your support and kind words of late. I hope you discover what it is that's causing the IT problems and I'm excited to know how the breathing exercises worked for you! Oh, and it would be very cool if one day the 'Canadian Gang' could meet the 'Colorado Gang'!
6. What is one item you could not live without?
Music.
7. Vacation spots you must visit before you die?
Spain, Fiji, Argentina, Southern France, Norway, Thailand to start.
8. What is your most immediate short term goal:
To do 10 minutes of meditation tonight.
9. What are you reading right now?
The questions that I'm supposed to answer. Oh, you mean other than that? Uhm, 'The Wise Heart' by Jack Kornfield, and 'Zen Keys' by Thich Nhat Hanh. Just finished 'Dharma Punx' by Noah Levin which was BRILLIANT! (Can you sense a theme here??)
10. What is the last movie you saw and enjoyed?
'Gran Torino' with Clint Eastwood. I still love him and would totally marry him even though hie is a much older gentleman.
11. What’s your guilty pleasure?
Bridge Mixture. Why don't they sell it in the US I might add?? Do you know I raced an entire Ironman thinking 'Oh ya baby, once you finish this race you can have as much BM as you want!!! But no. I was DENIED! Had to wait till we crossed the border back into Canada. Then I ate so much I wanted to chunder. Hmm, maybe it's not so much my guilty pleasure after all?? Uh, how about Jack Daniels then?
12. What’s your favorite smell?
Vanilla perfume by the Body Shop. Oh, and let's not forget Brut 33 and Old Spice. Ya, I'm old school, what of it??
13. Whats something you look forward to?
I always look forward to seeing my parental unit, which I'm going to do in a week. Long term, I am looking forward to my two Ironman races this year, and going on a 7 day meditation retreat.
14. Favorite Quote?
So so many to choose from. Hmm... "You can strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourslef, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thign that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do." Eleanor Roosevelt
15. What is your dream job?
Photojournalist for National Geographic.
16. Whats one thing you can't go a day with out doing?
Going pee.
17. What do you have an addiction to?
Sushi. Seriously I will eat until I have a belly like Buddha's. What is up with that??
18. Do you like to dress up in costumes?
I love costumes! I wish more people had costume party's. Life would be more fun. Good thing I have one to go to next month!
19. How many pairs of shoes (not just running) do you have??
Less than my mother who is Canada's version of Imelda Marcos. Long live Converse sneakers and Doc Martens!!
20. Tell us one random thing about you.
I love headbanging to punk rock - takes me back to the good ol' days when I had a mohawk.
21. Why did you start your blog?
Because I wrote a story about my first half Ironman and a friend thought it was good and suggested I start writing a blog. So I did. Then I got to meet this wonderful amazing group of people who also blog. You gotta love how the world works!!!

Tag three more - YOU'RE IT!
Tina
Jenna
Deb

Peace out my wonderful bloggers!

Joyous Run...

Yep, 'Joyous Run' is the only way I can describe my run yesterday. It felt like FOREVER since I'd been out running - amazing what a 3 day retreat will do to you. The retreat was brilliance, but my body needed to get out and move, move, move!

I decided I'd run for about an hour and see how my hip felt. With all the sitting I had done (on a meditation bench) my low back and butt were a bit cranky. I didn't feel them when I was running though, which was awesome.

I decided to run down to the river pathway and just go as far as 30 minutes would take me, then turn around.

The weather lately has not been very spring like - or perhaps it has for this part of the world. The temperatures have dropped and we've had wee flakes of snow falling. Not enough to stick on the ground - thankfully!

As I ran along the portion of path that followed the river I heard the geese that have set up camp on a little island start to make some noise. I kind of wondered if it was my presence that was getting their feathers in a ruffle. I was far enough away that I didn't think this was the case, but hey, it's nesting season and who knows how big their 'personal space' is.

When I could finally see who was making all the noise, I noticed there were four geese. Likely two mama geese and two papa geese. They were making such a racket that I decided I had to stop and see what in nature was going on! (Yes, I did stop my timer...)

I have a feeling although it would appear all the geese were sharing the island, the one pair got a wee bit too close to the others nesting area. Holy hannah can those geese twist and shout up a storm. Not only were they swooping at each other, and diving into the water, they were also whipping their little heads around. It was an amazing site because their necks are so long and they were all in an 'S' shape and then 'snap!' they'd whip their head and squawk.

I'm not sure what all this accomplished because the two 'invading' geese only went a little ways further down the island and all the commotion stopped. The one 'offended' couple was hilarious though cause they kept making these wee noises and sipping on the water. I could almost picture the conversation 'Well the nerve of them! How dare they fly into OUR nesting area. Afterall, we were here first. ' 'Now, now Alice, don't get your feathers in a knot. I showed him what it was all about. They won't be coming around here again!' 'Oh Ralph, you are my hero. You will make a fine father.'

This little song and dance only took about 5 minutes, but it was neat to watch nature. From there I ran over the river and along the other side of the river. This is where I came across two more geese. Did I mention it was nesting season??

To be honest I was a bit intimidated. I wasn't sure just how close to the path they may have nested and I didn't want to upset them. Mostly because I didn't want to be goose food. Those suckers can be nasty with their head whipping, hissing and wingspan of a prehistoric bird that will knock you flat on your cushy but so that they can then peck your eyes out! Okay, perhaps that was a bit melodramatic, but still...they can hiss and bite and this gal was not going to take that chance. So basically I tiptoed as I ran past and they seemed ok with that.

The rest of the run was pretty quiet. I just enjoyed being outside even if it was colder than I would have wished. I can feel I'm getting stronger running up 'the bonus hill' but my heart rate is still higher than I'd like. I was happy that my butt and hip were happy though!

Oh, and in other joyous news...

On Sunday after my retreat I met my friends Trudy and Spring to go for a walk. It was great seeing both of them and we had a great time looking for signs of spring along the riverfront. At one point we stopped at a little eddy in the river. There were a bunch of rocks there so while the girls chatted I proceeded to practice my rock skipping technique. I managed to get three skips but that was it. I was just about to go back up to the path when I had the thought 'Hmm, I wonder if I'll ever find a heart stone?' I had heard of them and seen them, but have never found one.

I then looked down by my feet and this is what I found....

Apparantly someone was wanting me to know they heart me.

Peace out my beautiful friends.

Buddha Mind...

Just when I thought the slab of cement, that has been laying on my chest making it hard to breath had lifted ever so slightly, and I was starting to heal from the death of my good friend 'Tigger'...the Universe dealt me another blow. Last Wednesday I had to put my beloved baby, Mr. Cringely, down. We'd been together 17 years and his loss to me was that of losing a human friend. For those that don't have pets - I won't bother explaining as you just won't get it. For those who have pets...well, I know you get it.


The Cringemeister was my baby, my buddy, my confident, my supplier of unconditional love - well unless I went on vacation, then he'd only retrun my supply of unconditional love after a few hours of sulking. He is one of the men in my life, aside from my Pop and Jack Daniels, that has stuck it out the longest. I love him so much and miss him dearly. I swear he was a reincarnated human as he leaned toward some human tendancies - the good ones. I have many many stories I can share about him, he was such a character. Take for instance the photo below...an example of his attempt to catch some rays. The fact that I was in a downward dog was of no concern to him. He was so beautiful...

In attempt to get some healing, I attended a Buddhist retreat this weekend, put on by my sangha. I had thought about going before losing Tigger, then after she passed I signed up. I felt the pull to go and knew I'd find some solace. Then I lost Mr. Cringely and knew more than ever I HAD to go. On Thursday night I drove out to the retreat in tears praying that I would heal. To be honest, I'm tired of having red eyes and crusty boogers from crying so much.

The retreat was held in Canmore and from the 'meditation hall' we had a gorgeous view of the Three Sisters (shown below). I could think of no better place to be...

Now you may be thinking...uh Suse, this is your blog about triathlon. Sorry for your loss, but why are you bringing up your meditation retreat?? The best way to explain is to share a snippit of a conversation I had with my sangha buddy Al...

When I got to the retreat I said to Al, 'I can't believe I'm not training this weekend...' I should point out that Al is an avid rock/ice climber and his wife is a runner, so he totally understood what I meant. His reply...'But you are training this weekend my friend.' And you know what, it was so true!

For those of you thinking of (or have already signed up for their first) half Ironman or Ironman, or for those who have done those distances but haven't quite had a great time, please consider this piece of advice. If you want to have a good race, start practicing your mental game NOW - before the race. Cause chances are pretty good that you will have a moment when your mental fortitude is tested in your event and if you haven't been working it out like you've worked out your muscles...well you might just be f'd with a capital F.

Last year I was 'awakened' to being in the present moment. Sounds easy, but trust me. We are not raised to stay in the present moment. Our jobs can demand we constantly look into the future. Our triathlon training demand we look into the future at races (that we have to sign up for a year in advance) and our schedules (so we can actually plan some family/friend time in all the chaos). So to try and do so when you are under extreme physical conditions can be a wee bit daunting to say the least.

Try taking this little test. Go sit quietly in a room, with no distractions, close your eyes and focusing on your breathing. Set a timer for 5 minutes and see how long you can stay focused on only your breathing without letting all the other thoughts dash back and forth across your cranium. Unless you have already been practicing the mental game, I can guess what happened. That's how I was too!

So for me this weekend was about healing, and part of that healing, aside from being with a loving caring group of people, was to meditate and to continue the practice of staying in the present moment. So instead of running, biking, or swimming I worked on my mental training.

I tend to do this too when I am doing the old SBR thing too. (Hence the no music, or tv thing when I'm on the trainer.) I swear practicing doing this made Ironman Coeur d'Alene the best race I have ever done. Which is why I highly recommend taking up some practice of staying in the present moment, whether it's through sitting meditation, walking meditation or even just focussing on what your body is doing when you are running or biking!

Oh, I do have to confess something though....although my mind needed this weekend for the reasons I've already listed, my body doth protest. By the third day, my low back and hip had said enough with the sitting meditation. (I still continued the meditations, just did it from a chair.) I realized I was craving to swim, bike or run. The walking meditation was amazing, but at about a tenth of the speed I'm used to!

So the healing and training continues. There are still some tears to be shed, which was made apparant to me when I was 'petting' some pussy willows this morning and started to cry because it reminded me how soft Cringely's fur was, but I'm on the mend.

The mind and body are healing... and for that I am thankful.

Peace out my glorious Bodhisattvas!!

PS I have made some progress with Tigger's Garden - I know she is with me making sure this happens!

Tigger's Garden...

Yesterday afternoon I went out for a run with one of my best friends Esther (I also call her my big sister). It was a gorgeous day out - a little tease of what summer hopes to be like.

As we ran we savoured the warm sun and the scenery. I was even wearing shorts! I'm sure I blinded some small children and LOD's (little ol' dears) along the way with my luminescent pale white legs, but it was nice to be in shorts again.

Esther ,was also a friend of Tigger's, so we started talking about how we were both trying to get through the loss. Esther mentioned that the park where we, and Tiggers other friends, wanted to put a bench in her memory wasn't going to be ready for a few years. There was an article about that in the local paper. Huh. What should we do instead, if anything?

I'm not sure where the idea for the words that were to come out of my mouth originated...but I have an inkling. Out of the blue I said to Esther 'What about building a community garden in her memory?' There was silence for a moment. Then Esther told me she loved the idea!

As we made our way home we brainstored ideas for the garden and what we would have to think about. I can honestly say it was the first time since before Tigger's cancer started to win, that my heart felt light. Esther was even doing a little Tigger leap as she ran because she was so excited - I, of course, joined in with the leaping.

We have many ideas and have already gotten word out to some of Tiggers friends to see who would be interested. So far there are five of us that are willing to take on this task. I really have no idea how to go about building a community garden, but I know it will get done. The how's will work themselves out eventually.

Tigger had an amazing garden with a variety of beautiful flowers. Her sunflowers were at least 6 feet tall! I imagine the community garden as one that parents can bring their kids and help them plant flowers or veggies and watch them grow. It will be a place where those that are less fortunate than us can also grow food to help feed their families. We are going to start small and work with some of the local community groups. I think Tigger would approve.

Now...as for how this idea was created... I belive that a seed was planted by some of the comments, ideas and stories left on my blog. I also believe that the seed grew because of the love, caring and concern that was expressed. A collective conscious of sorts. How brilliant is THAT?!

I feel like perhaps I have finally started the healing process, rather than continually fighting the tears. The weight that has been pressing on my chest and making it hard to breath has lifted a little. I now have a project that will not only honour my incredible friend, but will also give me a way to channel my grief. I'm sure I'll have more teary days ahead, but perhas they will be lessened.

Thank you all so much for the incredible gift you have given me and my friends. That sentance seems too simple, but belive me my heart is bursting for you all right now as I write it. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Peace out my wonderful, glorious, brilliant friends!

When...

Can anyone tell me when the heavy feeling in my heart will go away? Please. Because to be honest I am getting tired of feeling this way.

It's been 18 days since my friend Tiggers passing and I still have moments where I feel as bad as I did when I got the news. Today is one of those days when I am having several of those moments. Just when I think I'm dealing with her loss, blammo, I just want to sit and sob. So I do.

Is this natural? How much can one person mourn? I don't want to cry when I think of her. That's not what she was all about. She was full of life, love and laughter. I almost feel guilty for feeling so bad - but still, that's not enough to stop the crying and the heavy heart.

The times when I'm not feeling bad I wonder if I'm forgetting her. Or I think that maybe I'm not allowing my feelings to surface and that I'm not dealing with this. It's rather confusing.

I am still training of course. Training = sanity. Which is rather amusing considering I'm training for a race that most would deem totally insane.

I love running outside because I like to think Tigger is viewing the scenery through my eyes. Last Fridays morning run was like that. It was about 6:15 am when I went out - such a peaceful time. The birds were chirping their morning greetings as I ran by. The run was only 40 minutes but it provided much needed peace.

The world is coming alive after it's winter hibernation and it's so beautiful. I love being able to hear the water in the creek rushing past me now that the ice has melted. And let's not forget the smell of dirt now that the ground is thawing. Who knew dirt could smell so good?

I truly hope Tigger can still feel these things through me. I know she loved this time of year, especially with all the wee cows being born.

Today I was seriously thinking of passing on my bike workout. I just feel so blah. Plus, it's hard to train when you can't breath for the crying. Then I thought of Tigger. She wouldn't let my melancholy be an excuse not to work out. I don't have the energy to get my bike road ready today, so even though it's nice out I'm going to head down to the dungeon.

Perhaps I can peddle the sadness out of my body. It's worth a shot at least.

Peace out my lovely friends.

Go Or No Go???

Yesterday was a good bike day...much better than Sunday as far as comfort goes. Although later on I had a nagging feeling in my butt cheek again. Maybe it's my office seat???

This morning I did the swim/run combo. An hour at the pool working on some speed, then 1.5 hours for the run.

Swimming felt pretty good, but I think it's time to renew my inhaler prescription. I don't usually use it during the winter, but with spring (hopefully) happening I'm feeling a bit more congested. Then again that could have been due to the chemicals that I assume were eminating from the back room of the pool. I could smell them everytime I swam to the one end and was wondering if something might be secretly eating away my lungs...

After my swim I guzzled a green shake down, which left my teeth with green bits and a haze of pink from the berries. A very nice look I might say. Then headed out. Today was going to be the big test of the hip. Is it strong enough to run the half marathon on the 26th???

The first few steps were iffy...but it'd been like that on other runs, then I'd be fine. I am a true endurance girl in that I always feel better the longer I go. So I kept running.

I loved being outside. It was quite peaceful. The ice on the river is all gone and I could hear the water running through the creeks as they were unfrozen now too.

At about the 25 minute mark the green smoothie I drank started to do it's thing. I forgot that it does it's thing or perhaps I would not have ingested it before my run... I knew there was a portapotty near the river so headed for that. Very unfortunately someone had tipped it over at one point, then it had been righted; however the contents that had splooshed around inside were still stuck on the wall. Ew. Now here's a funny tidbit, the sight and smell of that did nothing for my gag reflex; however one wee piece of hair, floating in a pool, will have me retasting my brekkie...go figure.

I decided I'd have to run to the rec centre to use their loo. That would put me past the halfway mark, but I'd just run more of a straight line on the way home rather than meandering through the trails.

The whole time I was running I was focussed on my glutes/hip area. At about the 43 minute mark I started feeling it. Perhaps it will go away, I thought. Maybe I just need to run a little more mid soul, I pondered. I kept this type of thinking going till I got to the rec centre.

On the way back it was obvious. My glute was starting to bug me. I kept thinking, well, at least it's not the same pain as before. So things must be getting better!

I was wavering...I feel good I can race - I don't feel good I can't race. I can race. I can't race. There the pain is gone. See. I can race. Shite, it's back, I can't race. Go or No Go?? That was the question. I had that thought pattern for the last bit of my run.

Towards the very end I was getting the familiar pain. This was not good. I still managed to run up the bonus hill. I'm just stubborn that way.

During the last bit of my run I said to myself, 'Suse. You need to look at the big picture. You have a half Ironman and two Ironmans to race this year. If you race this half marathon you are going to blow your hip and take many steps backwards, cause you always blow your hip on the last hill of this race. How about we let this one go, and focus on the other races and making sure you are strong enough for that.'

So that's it. I'm not going to run the half marathon. I'm kind of bummed about it because it's a brilliant race. It's quite hilly at the end. In fact, there is one mean steep hill at the 15 km mark, then you run up to the finish after that. Last year my time was 2:02. I've never broken the 2 hour mark and was seriously thinking I could this year. But that was if I had a good hip. See, my hip always goes on me with about 4 km left in that race. If it is already hurting on an easy run at the 43 minute mark, then there is no way I could reach my goal. I could run it at a Granny pace just for fun - but I wouldn't be happy doing that.

What will make me happy though is going out there and cheering on my friends who are racing! So that's what I'll do instead. The race will still be here next year and maybe that's when I'll break the 2 hour mark!

Oh, on a different topic, I ran right after my swim and apparantly that does something funny to braid. Perhaps it was the chlorine still in my hair? Or all the happy happy bounce bounce of my briad as I ran? Who knows. But this is what it looked like after my run...

I am so thankful for hair conditioner right now...

Peace out my glorious friends.

Chocolate??? What Chocolate?!?

I had a 3.5 hour bike ride to do yesterday... I considered going outside as it looked sunny. However, that can be deceiving of the true temperatures outside around these parts. That thought, coupled with my rememberence of my hypothermic experience last year had me inside on the trainer for my ride. Sigh...

So there I found myself, in my dungeon, with just me, my bike, and my thoughts. Well, that and my mom as she called me when I was just starting up so I could to chat as I warmed into the workout. I had to hang up when the sweat started making it difficult to hold onto the phone.

The first bit of my workout wasn't too bad... Kind of typical. However, the last 2.5 hours were a mental toughness game.

It happened it was just one of those days were I couldn't for the life of me get comfy on the bike. An achy pain started up in my right glute and wasn't painful enough for me to think something was seriously wrong so I had to get off the bike, but it was just enough to annoy the freaking crap out of me. If I sat up straight the pain in my arse eased, but my low back hurt. My thoughts....'Oh for Pete's sake!'. Or something more explicit than that.

I promise. I tried many many times to get into a Buddha mindset. I focussed on my breathing. I focussed on my cadence. I snacked on a fruit bar. I looked at Tiggers photo and begged for strength. Alas, there was to be no relief from the achy breaky arse.

I HAD to stay on the bike though. I knew I did. If I want to be a Lance wannabe then I was just going to have to HTFU. So I did.

Thankfully, I had two motivating factors to help me. One was that the focus on my race has changed and I know that I'm doing this for more than just me. Two was the fact that my mother mentioned she hid some chocolate in my house last time she visited. Mmmmm. Chocolate.

I had found and devoured the first bit of chocolate that she hid and that I accidently found. Chocolate does not last in this house...I have no willpower when it comes to chocolate and I make no excuses. Needless to say I clung to the thought of celebrating my sticking out the entire ride with chocolate.

I'm happy to report that I did ride for the length of time, even though I wanted to get off the bike at the 2:00, 2:20, 2:26, 2:40, 3:05, 3:12, and 3:17 marks. Oh, and I do have to confess that I turned on the wee tv I have there on. Gasp! Normally I ride sans music and tv (I don't have cable anyways) as I like to try to do the Buddha mind thing. This normally works and I find it peaceful and meditative. Yesterdays ride was not peaceful though so it required a distraction and the wee tv was going to be it! It would have been nice if there were some good shows on the two channels I can see through the 'snow'....oh well.

I must have been working hard enough, even though I was struggling, because I was making my cadence target and my heart rate target. Also, there was a small pool of sweat under my bike. My 'I wanna be Faris' headband was full up with sweat and started dripping like chinese water torture on my front tire at about the 2 hour mark. This meant that every five minutes I had to wipe my forefinger over the bandana like a windscreen wiper and squeegee the sweat out, else go insane from the drip drip drip that went along with the ache ache ache of my buttock. Even for me I found that amount of sweat a bit gross. Serioulsy, who sweats that much?!

Needless to say, I finished my ride, did my arse exercises and hopped upstairs like the Easter Bunny himself. One thing was on my mind - CHOCOLATE! I went to where mom said she hid it...but there was nothing. Mumble, grumble. I called mom. I think I let her say hullo before I said, 'Okay, so I'm on the bike for 3.5 hours and the biggest thing getting me through is the fact that if I do this ride I can reward myself with chocolate. BUT THERE IS NO CHOCOLATE!!!' I hear her say 'Hmmm....did you look up? Cause I know you and your Granny never look up cause your short and so I likely hid it up on the shelf...'

I looked up. And down. Left. Then Right. I moved things off the shelf. On the shelf. Alas, no chocolate. Words can not describe my disappointment. That's ok though. Later on I went to Canmore to visit my buddy Trudy. We went for a wonderful walk around the river and afterwards I had some yummy hot chocolate. My chocolate craving had been fulfilled.

I still haven't found the other chocolate though so another call into the Parental Unit will be forthcoming...

My name is Susi, and I'm a chocoholic...

Peace out my wonderful friends!

Forward Movement...

First off, many thanks and blessings to everyone and their kind words, hugs and thoughts. I am so thankful for the support shown from friends near and far, known and getting to be known. Seriously, there are no words to express my gratitude.

The past week has been what one would call an 'emotional rollercoaster'. It was to be expected and will continue for an unknown length of time, I'm sure. I have never been in the situation of losing such a close friend so wasn't quite sure how I was going to deal with the loss. I decided that I would just go with it. Cry when I needed to cry, smile when I felt I could smile, and talk to Tigger a lot. I know she can hear me wherever she is, so I've been rambling on to her a ton. I'm sure she is thinking 'holy hannah, even where I am she STILL rambles on!'

As with triathlon, no matter what happens in life one must continue with foreward movement. So that's what I've been doing - moving forward even when I felt like I just wanted to stand still and be sad.

I got a good ride on the bike (albeit I was in the trainer) for 3 hours last Sunday. I have mine and Tiggers finish line photo up beside my bike so I could ask her for strength now and then. I felt really strong on the bike for the most part, but the last hour was a bit tough. I got through it with flying colours though!

All the work I've been getting done on my hip seems to be helping. I have gotten a couple half hour runs in and an hour run. I still feel like the hip is a bit unstable, but it doesn't hurt as much. There may still be hope that I'll do the Policeman's Half Marathon at the end of the month!! I'm going to keep a good eye on my hip and make a decision closer to the date.

As for swimming, holy hannah the posture stuff I've been doing seems to have paid off! Granted I haven't actually timed myself, but I feel like I'm realling pulling through the water now. I love it! It's happening right from the start of my swim too, I haven't had to build up to it. Of course I'm still being watched like a hawk by the lifeguard... Perhaps she has an aversion to really nice people who happen to have tattoos and swims with a Jolly Roger on their swim cap??? My punch card only has ONE punch left in it....oh oooooooh. This time I will be sure to get another card BEFORE it expires.

I've been doing the physio, accupuncture thing for my broken arse and legs. As they have been helping I figured I'd go back to getting massage. There is a massage therapist, Pat, in town who is brilliant with a capital B. For some reason I hadn't been in a couple of years, but decided he was the man for the job.

Let's just say that he found every line of pain there was in my glutes and quads. Ow, ow, ow. My main focus was to keep breathing. At one point Pat said, in his always soothing voice, 'Just breath Susi'. Riiiiight. It feels as though you are slicing a knife thorugh my legs, but I'll just keep breathing here... I gotta say though, as soon as he was done I could tell things were more loose. I have a feeling I can now run faster and jump tall buildings in a single bound!

So that's been my week. Tigger is always on my mind. She gives me strength. I am slowly healing, as we all are. In August, I will race Ironman Canada in her honour. I knew I was going to do this even before she passed away. I bought a wee Tigger stuffie and will carry it with me for the entire race. Not that I need to carry Tigger because I know she is going to be with me every stroke, pedal and step. I will remember how she talked to EVERYONE on the course and kept them going. I will remember her infectious 1000 watt smile and how she would tell me 'You just gotta do it!' It's going to be an amazing race - I promise you that.

Peace out my wonderful friends - thank you again for everything.

To My Beautiful Tigger...

Dear Tigger,


I'm really struggling with the idea that you are now gone. Of all the people faced with cancer, I thought for sure you were going to be one of the survivors. In a sense, you were. You kicked it's ass the first time and you showed it that you weren't going to just lay down and die.


I remember when we were standing in line waiting to sign up for our first Ironman, in 2006, you were waiting to find out if the lump in your breast was malignant. When the news came back that it was, you took it like a champ. You figured out what needed to be done and did it.


I still laugh that you wanted to walk around with your shirt off after your masectomy because 'hey, there's nothing there now!' You always knew how to turn any situation into a positive one.


Even after the masectomy, the chemo and the radiation, you were still going to do Ironman. You have no idea how much you rock my world because of the way you fought this thing. NOTHING was going to stop you from reaching your dream.



I love the fact that you and I finished our first Ironman together. I never could have finished that marathon without you. I love that sometimes I would talk and sometimes you would talk whenever we found a bit of energy to do so. We kept each other going. I love that we both wanted to hurt the whiny dude behind us that kept saying how it was pointless to keep going on. He had no idea who he was dealing with did he??


The second time the cancer came around the doctors actually had the nerve to give you an 'end date'. Who the hell did they think they were? Obviously THEY didn't know who they were dealing with. They were dealing with Tigger, the most positive fighter of cancer ever to live.



I was so sure you were going to beat it this time. In a sense you did because you lived two months longer than they said you would. Even as you weakened the past few weeks, I thought, nope, this is a little blip. Things will get better. As the cancer spread I got a little more scared and I started to face up to the fact that maybe this time would be different. I always held out hope that things would be ok though.


I am sure some people would say that things are still ok, even though you have passed on. I've been talking a lot to Leslie and Esther about death and dying. I've been reading a lot of Buddhist books too. Trying to find some solace. I do take solace in the fact that I know you are still with me. Your energy is still here, even if you are no longer in your physical body.


That said, I'm selfish. I want the physical Tigger to be here dammit. I know you are going to be pissed at this, but I can't stop crying. I have this pain radiating in my chest and it's really hard to breath. I just don't want you to be gone.


When I found out the news yesterday, I went to Esthers. All the EE girls gathered there. There were some tears but mainly we shared all our wonderful stories about you. You'll be happy to know that there were way more smiles and laughter than there were tears. You touched our lives in such a positive way. I do hope you know that.





I shared the story of you showing me how to feed the baby cow 'Bear'. It was so funny trying to straddle him and hold the bottle out. I was pretty much riding him as my legs weren't as long as yours so I couldn't quite stand over him. Man that was funny.




Oh, and I loved getting to ride in the combine on the farm. You were so kind in holding in your laughter when I told you I didn't know what a combine was. Hey, I'm from Vancouver, not a farm girl! You know, Tim said you were the best driver he ever had working for him. No matter which way he went with the combine you never missed a bit of grain. It was so awesome that you gave me that experience.


And let us never forget the marshmellow shooters you showed us how to do in Fort Macleod. All of the girls were laughing at that last night. I still can't believe you mixed the Jack Daniels with the Hot Sex in the marshmellow. Holy hannah girl! I think that's what got us in trouble and we decided that after only doing sprint triathlons we could now do a Half Ironman!




There were so many good times and now so many stories to tell. I will never forget them as I will never forget you. I know, I'm a crying snotty mess right now...and you wouldn't like that. I promise to get my shit together though and start smiling a ton as I think of you. Because that's how you always were - smiling with that 1000 watt smile of yours.



I also know you will be with me when I attempt to tackle Ironman Canada this year. I will be racing for you my amazing friend. And I promise to get us in a lot quicker and with less pain than last time!


My thoughts and prayers go out to your hubby Bruce, and your family. Knowing how I feel about your loss, I can only imagine what they are going through.

I love you Tigger. Forever and always you will be my inspiration.

For Pete's Sake!!!

Apparantly turning 39 years of age is a bad thing for the body. I swear I have never had so many friggin issues at one time!

Okay, the hip thing started in my 20's, but then my low back goes and now it's my shoulder. This is CRAZY!!!!

On a positive note, my hip is feeling better, and my low back isn't as bad. That may actually be residual stuff from a car accident years ago. Who knows. My shoulder though? Sigh. And the silly part about the shoulder is it hurts because I did the simple thing of sleeping on it wrong? My youth is gone and with it went my ability to sleep on a body part wrong and recover from it quickly. Seriously.

Even though it is rather painful to lift my arm I decided to try and swim this morning. I had to do something. I thought maybe an easy swim would kind of work it gently so things would get better.

It actually didn't hurt too much to swim. I couldn't do bilateral breathing though because if I looked left it twisted my shoulder so it hurt. So instead I would do four strokes and breath on the right. It was a good test to see if I was using my back for the pull too, which I was. No pain there.

So I had a nice relaxing swim. At the end of my swim I decided to do some kicking. Holding my arm out forward with the kickboard was out of the question so I flipped over on my back ala Otter style and swam that way. I have to say it was such a peaceful feeling! The water felt warm and blanket like. The only sounds were some gentle kicking noises from under water and the faint sounds of Neil Young from the radio. Ahhh. Made me not want to get out of the pool to be honest.

Yesterday morning I had a great session on the bike. It was only an hour but I felt strong and like I was actually doing something. This was a boost I needed considering how I've felt the last while.

So even with the hip, back and shoulder issue I refuse to let it get to me. As the t-shirt proclaims, 'Shit Happens!'. I keep reminding myself every day that I'm blessed to be healthy and be able to do the things I do. If I have a niggly now and then, oh well. Suck it up Princess!

Oh, I almost forgot! The toe nail finally let go. I was trimming my nails the other day and bwoop. It was off. It's kind of weird though because there is alike this sub nail layer under there that is kinda hard...not sure what it is. For your visual enjoyment I present Exhibit A and B. Hmm, I almost feel like I have gone through some triathlon rite of passage or something...

Peace out my glorious friends!

The Troll...

Urgh. That about sums up how I'm feeling these days. There is some seriously sad stuff going on in my life and I think it is now affecting my body. Funny how the mind/body/spirit all connects eh?!

I decided not to workout this weekend and instead concentrate on my hip/glutes and the strength exercises. I thought that perhaps it would be good to give it time to heal. My payment for this non activity? My low back seized up on me. Sigh. Urgh. Mumble grumble.

It happened on Sunday. Not sure how, it just did. I stood up and went 'OW! What the ...' I've had this before, but not for quite some time. Likely it's residual from car accident many moons ago. Perhaps it was aggravated by all the compensation for glutes going on. Or perhaps it's just my body's way of saying, 'I understand you are under some emotional stress right now so I am going to remind you how it's all connected to your body'. Who knows.

I was going to swim this morning, but tried to get up and went 'Urgh'. Or maybe that was a 'Ugh'. Either way I didn't think I could swim. For some reason I still held the delusion that I would run this afternoon though. My mind works in very strange ways...

Good thing I had an appointment to see my trusted physiotherapist, Janice, first thing this morning. At this point I was walking like a troll. Or a very very very elderly gentleman. I had my pelvic tilt going, but it was rather pronounced. I was also bent over a bit at a rather unnatural angle. I just needed some really big pants pulled up over my belly or lederhosen and a hat with a feather in it to top off the look.

After much manipulation and cobras things finally loosened up a bit. I have to keep doing, what is essentially, cobra pose every couple of hours. Also, no running till it eases up. I do have some fun homework though!!! I was told walking would be great and if I could find something to hang off, in order to stretch my spine out, that would be even better.

Anyone got a chandelier I could borrow??

So this afternoon I'm going to meet up with my buddy Esther and we are going to walk around looking for the monkey bars in the local parks. I love the monkey bars!! I wish all homework could be this fun!! Hmm, maybe I'll attempt a chin up. Just one. Just to see if I can...

Oh, I should be good to go on the bike because of the way my bike lies, so I hope to get in a bike workout tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

Peace out my friends!

Exactly How Long IS That Thing...

Thankfully this week has been a recovery week - I don't feel so bad about slacking on my workouts. I really want to give my hip/glutes some healing time and I just wanted to focus on the strength exercises.

I did manage to get out for a short run with my nesan, Esther, yesterday. We had received some very sad news and felt that a trip along the river would be the best place to run and chat and enjoy the beauty of nature.

The run itself wasn't too great, my hip was bugging me and really started to hurt at about the 50 minute mark. However, just being out there with my friend and stopping to pet all the puppies in the dog park made the pain worthwhile and lifted my spirits.

Today I had an appointment to see my AMAZING accupuncturist and TCM gal today, Val. I updated her on Janice's findings about me arse being broken. Although concerned, she had a good chuckle. I also said, I think you are going to have to stick some needles in my bandokadonk. Eep.

So there I lay, buttocks slightly exposed as she slowly inserted the needles. Note that needles is in the plural...there were many. Holy hannah - there were some spots that actually recreated the pain I felt in my hip. Gulp. Many deep meditating breathes were taken as she inserted the needles.

At one point she commented that my muscles felt as if they had atrophied. WHAT?! Exactly how does this happen when all I've done for the last 3 years is run and bike?? Well, swim too, but you get the picture. She wasn't sure how either but said my hamstrings were taking the brunt of it when it came to compensation. She asked me if I could do lunges and squats. I mentioned that I pull my hamstrings within the first two lunges, for which she was not surprised.

As she was sticking the needles in my chubby butt matter, an image popped into my mind...

I told Val and we had a good giggle over that one. She mentioned her mom used to have a pin cushion that had wee little chinese figures around it and that as kids, her and her siblings would stick pins in the figures heads. I said that was just forshadowing for her becoming an accpuncturist!

I got up the nerve to ask just how long the needles were that she was sticking in cause it seemed like she was twisting them in there for quite some time. Turns out they were 3 inches long. Yup, this baby got back. It's just broken at the moment...

I've been told I need to come back next week. She also mentioned my booty may feel a bit heavy today... Hmmmm...

The good news is that I was able to do that exercise of lifting my leg up! I got the left leg up about an inch and the right one about a millimeter. Which is WAY better than on Monday. Yay! Things are working!

Peace out my lovely friends!

Me Arse Is Broken!!!

I'm not sure how it happened...or why...but it appears I have a broken arse. In other words, it's not working. Let it be known, though, that I can still shake it like Shakira only wishes she could!

As has been written before, I was experiencing hip pain, again. This has been an ongoing issue with me and in the last, oh I don't know, FOUR or more years and no one has been able to help me. It just seems to fade away, then appear again.

The pain is weird. It feels like it's tucked up under my right buttock and in the vicinity of my hip joint. I've even had x-rays taken because there was talk that it may be degeneration - gasp. Thankfully, there was no evidence of that.

I've been in many triathlons and by the time the season arrives the pain seems to subside. However, almost every year that I've run the Policeman's Half Marathon, which is usually the first race of the season held in late April, I've either just gotten over the pain or this race flairs it up. It's been frustrating to say the least.

This year has been no exception. I've been battling the pain for the last couple of months, trying to acknowledge it by doing more biking and less running in addition to stretching, strenghening etc. It's not letting go though. With the race a month away I was starting to get antsy.

On Sunday I had had it! We got yet another snowstorm, sigh, and I had this nagging pain in my right butt cheek. Something new, but I figured it was all tied into the hip issue. I decided I could not bring myself to sit inside on the trainer for 2.5 hours. I'll admit it, I was in a grumpy mood. No, scratch that, I was in a grumpy pouty mood. I decided fine, if my hip/butt was going to be all bitchy then I wouldn't ride (which I figured wouldn't help) but instead I would do a ton of strength exercises in the hopes that that would fix things up because in the past weight lifting has helped. Riiiight...

I got out the P90X 'legs and back' DVD and turned it on. I made sure I selected 'no music and cues' then cranked the radio. Time to rock.

Who knew that this workout consisted of a million lunges and many minutes of holding oneself in the squat position along the wall??? Side lunges, angle lunges, frong lunges, back lunges, and toe lunges. Jayzus! My legs were shaking by the end of it and begging for no more. After that hour of fun I flipped in the chest, sholders and triceps DVD and inflicted more pain. Exactly how many different types of pushups are there?!

By the end of it I had a bit of a hard time lifting my arms and my legs were like jello. Emotionally I felt better. Physically I felt tired but good...for the meantime anyways. Take that hip!

The next day I woke up and the first thought that went through my mind as I tried to get out of bed was 'Oh, shite, what did I do??' I should likely mention that I've been weight training since I was sixteen...which is many many many moons ago. Therefore, I should know what happens when you haven't been weight lifting for several months and you do almost two hours of it...

The really exciting thing was that I had an appointment with my physio that morning! I was desperate to get help with my arse/hip not to mention the muscle knot in my shoulder that was preventing me from looking to the right. Boy was I ever feeling very old that morning...

After explaining what was going on, Janice, my physio, started doing an assessment of my hip area and asked a million questions. Then she started doing some strength tests...and that's when it happened...

She'd asked me to lie on my stomach and bend my right knee 90 degrees so that the flat of my foot was parallel to the ceiling. I did as asked. She then instructed me to raise my foot to the ceiling. Grunt. Heave. Ooomph. Nothing. For the life of me I could not do this task. I tried again. Janice had a shocked look on her face. Then I tried the left side. Again. Nothing. What the hell? Was I supposed to be able to do this or was this a trick?? (I can only imagine how many of you are now lying on the floor trying this test now...)

That's when she admitted her shock. "Huh. Your glutes aren't firing. They aren't working for some reason" What??? I have a broken arse?? How can that be? I run. A lot. I bike. A lot! How the heck have I propelled myself through countless races and exactly which muscles were compensating?! How do we fix this and more to the point, can we fix this so I can run the race at the end of next month??? PLEASE HELP ME!!!

The next hour was spent with Janice trying to get rid of the muscle knots in both my butt and back. I really could have used a leather strap to bite on...instead I tried desperately to keep breathing. Boy was I glad I killed all my muscles the day before!!! Not.

I was also given several exercises that I was to complete 3 times per day for the next week...I'd get more when I see her next week. Gulp. Oh, and stretches. Lots and lots of stretches. She wanted me to start the exercises that day but my body was in shock. I actually had a headache and later on the urge to chunder was faintly present. Likely this was from all the toxins that had been released.

As for today, three words...'Second Day Pain'. I really wish I had a walker. Seriously. I could use it to get in and out of my chair. And why don't I have those cushiony toilet seats?? Do you know how hard the plastic ones are on a tender toosh?!! YEOW! If I had cable I'd search for the infomercial about the chair that glides you up the stairs so you don't have to walk up them and order one!

All that aside, I sucked it up and did the exercises and stretches Janice gave me. I think they are actually helping ease the pain. Or perhaps that was the Tylenol that I took...something I rarely do for this kind of pain.

On the plus side we have a possible cause for the hip pain and if I keep working on strengthening the muscles perhaps I will be able to run faster and jump tall buildings this race season! YaY!

Yup, this baby still got back. Shake it, you won't break it!!!

Peace out my friends!

Running Meditation...

Every hear of walking meditation? Well I decided my last run would be running meditation. In other words, a run where I was very mindful about each foot fall in addition to all the sounds around me.

Of course this run took place before we got the mega inches of snow...don't even get me started on that. I've had enough - and I'm a xcountry skier!

I decided to run down to the river and check out the pathway there. Up to that point we'd had a lot of sun so I was hoping the paths wouldn't be icy. It turned out the path was a mix of slush, ice and mud, which made for a lot of fun and a lot of stabilizer work!

It was a truly gorgeous day out. I loved hearing the crunch of the snow under my feet (only because it was melting!)

In the moments I managed to tune out the random needless thoughts in my brain I was blessed with an orchestra of nature. There was the crispy dried leaf blowing across the paved section that made a dragging noise, or the birds chirping back and forth to each other. As I ran along the riverbank I could hear the roar of the river as it rushed past all the ice and snow along the river's edge. It was this sound that made me stop running and just stand and listen to the water go by. There is something so peaceful about that sound...unfortunately it's also a sound that makes one have to go pee!

As I left the riverbank I was serenaded by four Canadian Geese who wanted to make sure I knew they were there! No wee goslings yet...but I have a feeling the geese were checking out the perfect nesting area.

Being mindful about my run was made easier with the snow and ice. I had to watch every step I took to make sure I didn't slip or twist my ankle. It sounds like work, but actually it made the run more fun. I had to cross a couple of creeks and hop over ice patchs and gloosh through the mud. It's times like these that make me feel very kid like. Who doesn't love that?!

The run wasn't a long one, just over an hour, but I had a great time and was glad to be outdoors.

Here's to hoping this latest dump of snow melts so I can get back out there and repeat the last run!

Peace out my friends!