Moab: The Last Ride...

Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. ~ Abraham Lincoln


Okay, it's been a while since I was in Moab or have written about it. Forgive me, I've been busy moving. Again. This was the second stage of my move. The first stage was moving from Alberta to British Columbia. That was easy in the sense I had to unpack my worldly possessions into storage and leave it there. Until stage two, moving into an acutal home.

That took more energy and planning. It was more emotional too...but that's a story for another day. Suffice it to say that this move back home is taking a bit more adjustment then orginally thought and even though I LOVE LOVE LOVE being here, I really miss my buds back in AB.

Okay, enough of that. On to the good stuff. My last ride!

I say it was in Moab, but I lie. I actually had an adventure within an adventure and me and Shauna took a trip over the Utah border into Colorado!! Where you ask? Why the mecca for mountain biking in Colorado - Frutia. Funny name, I know.

Once we finally found the area we were going to bike in - Shauna had a book outlining all of them, and let me tell you, there are a TON of places to ride - we gleefully got out our bikes and attempted to find the trail head out of the parking lot.

Who knew that would be tricky. In our defense, it was kind of blocked by some vehicles.

Oh, before I go on further, check out my new biking shirt. It has purple and wings!!! All that means is, yes, it makes me go faster.



Okay, so off we went on our adventure after taking photos of my wonderful shirt and after finding the trailhead.

The first bit of trail 'Zippity Do Da' was your average single track trail. Nothing major. We had to go around this way though in order to get to Frontline, which ran east-west. So we rode on and I tried to catch my breath on the short uphills and get my legs going.

For a good portion of this part of the ride we had to ride on a dirt road. It just so happened that there must have been a significant amount of rain at some point and the roads must have been mud swamps because there were two deep ruts where trucks drove through and tons of indents from cattle hooves. This made this section exceptionally bumpy and I was truly wishing I had a full suspension bike.

The biggest pain was in my seat bones. My butt was not used to this seat or sitting so upright so they'd been getting progressively worse all week. By the time we finished that section and got back onto the regular switchback, which was also a somewhat bumpy ride, I was gritting my teeth from the pain.



When I met up with Shauna (she is a great rider so would go ahead then stop and wait for me at the junctions) I told her 'we have a situation'. I so hated saying it, but I told her that I was in a lot of pain, and if the trail continued like this I was going to take the first trail that went south off of Frontline to the parking lot and bail. I'd wait there while she explored the other trails.

Man I hate being a wuss, but I seriously could not take it.

As it turns out the first trail that would go back to the car, the beginning of Zippity Do Da (we started our ride at the tail end of it, if that makes sense), would have been a suicide mission. At least according to the description in the book it would be. So I was going to carry on to Joe's Ridge.

Finally we got to Frontline the main trail that went east-west. As it turned out I didn't need to worry about sitting on my seat because there was a lot of single track, switch back up and down! There were squeals of glee that sputtered forth as I went along.

There was one downhill that made me stop and take a deep breath. Finally I went down and as I got there Shauna heard me say 'Hey, that wasn't so bad afterall!' It's a good thing when on the last day of riding you finally figure things out I guess.


Some of the sections had V like drops in them. They were short drops but the climb on the others side felt like it was at 45 degrees. This meant hitting it in the V and needing to know how to raise your front tire to get up the other side. All in limited space. I tried some of the more shallow ones, but some I had to walk. I just didn't have the skill to figure them out.

At one point the trail took us up and back out of the valley. It was insanely steep so both of us had to walk it. I was totally impressed with the dudes that passed us and rode up it. Note to self...practice riding when I get home!

We finally got to the Zippidity Do Da trail that went south. We decided to ride a bit of it to see how it was. We didn't get too far when we both stopped, laughed and turned around. Even the one section we were on was a bit spooky for me as it was near the edge. I just kept my mantra going of 'look to where you want to go'. Which meant do not go over the side as it's a loooooong way down!

We headed back to Frontline and zipped through the trees. This ride was glorious! I loved the speed we got as we wove in and out of the trees. Again we hit some up down switchbacks. I kept working at these ones trying to get better at them.

I had borowed my cousins bike and knew it made quite a bit of noise. At this point though I started to hear a squeaking. It sounded like the seat was making the noise. I figured I'd have to do something with it when I got back.

I then hit another of those V type drops. That's when Shauna heard a EEEEP! Then she heard 'My ......fell off!' She kindly doubled back to figure out what the ..... was and saw me standing there, with the bike, looking somewhat incredulous.

We pulled off to a section where there was some shade, as it was nicely hot that day, and took an assessment of the situation.

Oh, you may be wondering what happened. Well I'll give you a hint.


Yup. That's a bolt. That's a bolt that's suffered a fatigue fracture, as we call it in the materials science world. I used to study those in university...then as a failure analysis engineer. Of course all this information really didn't help me at this point.

Wondering where it came from? Here's a hint...what's missing in this photo? (Try not to get distracted by the streamers on the handle bars. And yes, they made me go faster.)


Just in case there is too much going on in the photo and you aren't sure. The bolt that fractured held my seat onto the seat post. No bolt = no seat.

Huh. Where the heck are we on this trail anyways and how far back is it to the car??

Of course by this point I'm laughing. And laughing hard. Oh the irony of the situation has not escaped me. I am complaining about how my arse hurts and I can't sit on my seat and BLAMMO, the Universe makes sure this is no longer a problem.

Shauna was mighty impressed with how I was handling the situation. Really though, what other way could I have handled it? I had no idea how far away we were from the car and I wasn't about to walk. So instead I chose to laugh, have a bit of lunch, put the seat and the bolts, along with the seat post, into my hydration pack and start riding standing up!


To be honest, it was easier riding without the seat. Well, at least on the downhills and the flats. The uphills not so much. At one point Shauna stopped and was telling me how Trina had explained that if you shift your butt to the front of the seat when climbing uphill, you have better control of the bike.

I stood there listening ever so intently with a small smile on my face. Then she looked from my face to just behind my butt...where my seat would have been. That's when she started laughing and said, 'Well, that's if you have a seat I guess!' I was laughing too and said I would mentally file that little tidbit away for when I had a seat!

We finally found Joe's Ridge, which was the trail I was going to take back to the car. Due to the time, Shauna decided she'd ride that trail too. Needless to say, Joe's Ridge was one heck of a ridge. It was this long downhill, literally on a ridge!! The first part was so steep and had so much loose rock we both decided to walk down that part to the next section of descent.

At this point I was so thankful I didn't have a seat as it allowed me to move my butt over my back tire so I could get down. I was shaking because of the height and the drop but we took it in sections and it turned out to be a blast!! There were these rock piles on the ridge too...we didn't realize these were the piles that we were warned about in the book. The ones that can flick you into an endo or cause you to break your handle bars.

Sometimes not knowing certain bits of information is a good thing.

As it turned out it really wasn't that bad. From there on it was the usual little bit of downhill and switchback. Having no seat, I was very grateful for the downhill.

Finally we could see the parking lot. By this point, seat or no seat, I was having so much fun I didn't want to go back. But go back we had to. It was our last night in Moab, we had a two hour drive back to the camp and we were all going out for a 'last supper'.

We hit the last bit of trail we needed to ride to get to the car. It was called Kelso's Run. We waited until some riders went through then we hit it.

HOLY HANNAH WHAT A RUSH!! This was the funnest section of trail I have ever ridden on! It was a super fast, slightly downhill, singletrack switchback that curved up into the hill so you were on your side like in a velodrom. Then it had the little V drops, which by this point I was hitting hard and leaping over the other side! I attacked this trail. It was SO skookum. The smile on my face wrapped from ear to ear.

When we finished that section both Shauna and I wanted to go back and do it again, but it was time to go. We had a short trip to the car then the car ride back. All in all I only had to ride about 5 miles with no seat. Not to shabby.

I had been wanting to go to Moab since the early 90's when I first heard about it. Finally, my dream came true. Not only did I get to go to Moab, but I got the bonus of going to Fruita as well. And the super bonus of all bonuses, I got to go with a most amazing group of people!!! This was a trip of a lifetime and I'm so thankful I got to do it. Thanks to all who made it possible!!

I can't wait to go again next year!!

Peace out my Zippity Do Da friends!!

Souvereign Moab...

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be." -Lao Tzu


After a wonderful dinner with the gang, a good nights rest, and a skookum breakfast, our fearless heroine, the five-foot-two-of-fury-ninja-princess-she-ra-soon-to-be-mountain-biker, (that would be me) was ready to take on another of Moabs biking trails! I was not going to be put off by Slickrock!

On this, the second day of biking, my buddy Dave and I chose to ride 'Souvereign'. I was told it would be less challenging than Slickrock. Considering Slickrock is one of the most difficult rides, something 'less challenging' could have meant many things!

After almost getting lost trying to find the trailhead, not to mention Dave getting caught in a wee sandstorm in the desert while asking for directions from a family camped in a Winnebago we came across (while I stayed ensconced in my car), we finally found the spot we needed to be.

Let the adventures begin!


This trail was definitely more my speed...and at the same time it had it's challenges. I loved that it was so free flowing, with some sharper climbs and descents, as well as the rolly stuff. The first part of the trail was the slickrock and had little ups and downs to get over.

I was amazed that I actually could get up and over a lot of this stuff and the more we did the more I trusted my bike. Of course there were some bits were I still got off my bike and walked, but today I was a bit more brave because Dave was with me and I took more chances.


It paid off. I felt much stronger and my confidence started to build. At one point I was doing some more technical downhill and was being hesitant so told myself, "Just let go of the dang brakes already!! You'll be fine". I'm pretty sure I emitted a wee squeal as I did so, but I did survive and it was a blast!

The biggest problem I seemed to have, on all the days I rode, was my lungs. I'm not sure if it was because I hadn't done a lot of aerobic work in the last bit since the end of training, just normal asthma stuff, or because some of the climbs were short but steep; however I was majorily sucking wind and had to stop after some climbs. It was a bit of a bummer, but hey, it is what it is and I was happy I was riding...and posing for photos!


We only made it to Link 5 when I realized I was zonked and couldn't go further. We had stopped for lunch, but it didn't give me enough gusto to carry on. I didn't want to bonk somewhere in the middle of nowhere so asked Dave if it would be cool to turn back.

I had a feeling the food I ate might kick in on the way back, and it pretty much did. Ah well, lesson learned. The way back to the car was AWESOME! My confidence was definitley higher so I was riding a lot faster on the downhil. It was like being on an amusement park ride...only better! We were out there for about 3.5 hours, so it was a good day!

The second time out to Souvreign, and the fourth day of riding, was even better than the first. Good thing as it turned out to be a bit of an epic 'wherethefugawi' adventure! It all started out well and fine... Having a great ride, checking out the flora and fauna and the scenery. Kicking a little slickrock butt...


We rode back to the same spot we went to last time. It took less time this go around because we stopped for less photos, but also because we knew the terrain a bit better.

This made it all the more fun because we could go faster. Well, at least we could after my lungs warmed up. The first little bit of climbing we would stop so I could either get a hit of my inhaler, or just let the lungs relax on their own. The time we'd have to wait got shorter and shorter, much to both of our relief!

After a few hours of riding we stopped on a ridge and had a wee snack in the shade. It was much hotter out this time, about 30 C. Not much shade along the way either. Actually. No shade, except when we got off our bikes and tucked in near a big rock! Our bikes took a well deserved rest too.


Yep, that's my bike with the streamers hanging off. Well, my cousins bike on which I put the streamers. Figured it would make me look like a real mountain biker... What do you think?!

I was excited to press on and check out the area that we didn't ride in last time. We didn't have a map this time so were going on what we remembered. Not always the best plan, but very good if you are looking for adventure.

We had some good riding then saw this awesome, super long downhill section.


The first part was steep with a lot of rocks and beyond my ability, so I got off my bike and scooched down it quickly. As soon as it turned to dirt only, I got on my bike. I'm pretty sure riding down it I let out a Speedy Gonzales cry 'Andale Andale!' It was a blast!

When we got down to the bottom we followed the trail a little ways until Dave stopped and said, 'If I recall correctly, this just goes to the northwest and doesn't loop'. Hmmm. Okay then, let's go back to where the downhill ended and the other trails branched off.

So we did.

We met up with a couple of other cyclists, who, lucky for us, had no idea where they were either. We borrowed their map, which was in less detail than the map we had used before, and decided to follow the ATV trail a bit to see if we could meet up with the bike trail again.

Granted, we could have gone back up the hill, but that was a super long up!

Here's the thing about the ATV trail...98.7% of it is sand. Have you ever tried to ride a bike in sand? I was spinning like mad to get going only to hit a deep part and come to a complete stop. The funny thing is the bike wouldn't fall over or anythign, because the sand was that deep! I'd just come to a halt and be in suspended animation.

If that wasn't happening then I'd be working on my bike handling skills and turning into whichever direction my front wheel would twist to without my help. It was insane. We had brief moments where we'd hit some hard pack and make time, but mostly it was just sand. Lots and lots of sand.

Did I mention we were in a desert and it was hot out?

At one point we came across a dude sitting on a huge flat rock with his lawn chair, iPod, a book and some water. We decided to ask him if he had a map. While Dave and he were conferring, and I was trying not to wonder why someone would come to this spot to sit and read and whether or not he was someone that America's Most Wanted was interested in, I noticed some vehicles way off in the distance.

After squinting to see more clearly, I noticed it was the highway. Quite a distance away because the big rigs looked like Tonka trucks. It was at this point I heard Dave saying, 'I think those dotted lines are a road?' I tried to get both their attention to point out the highway, but to no avail. Something about men and maps I guess?

I finally told Dave when we bid the desert dude a fond farewell and headed back onto the sand path.

Now, it's times like these when one can either a) decide 'Hey we are on an adventure!' and go with it or b) get pissy that you can't do the downhill portion you wanted to and blow a little girl hissy fit.

I'm proud to report that both Dave and I chose option 'a'. Granted it'd be pretty funny to see all of Dave's 6 foot 2-ness blow a little girl hissy fit.

Instead we embraced our adventure, the sand and sang songs as well as tried to figure out if we were indeed going in the correct direction.

See anything Dave??


Just rock and sand!

One good thing was we could tell, once we got out of the valley, that we were headed in the right direction because we recognized the mountains so could determine our east and west. Phew! At every corner we figured we'd hit the bike trail and zip back to the car. But it didn't happen.

At one point Dave mentioned he'd run out of water. We'd both taken 3 L with us. I knew I still had some and told him I'd share...but if we ran out then he'd have to sacrifice himself so I could forgo being vegetarian to turn cannibal and survive. Nothing like a little motivation to survive eh?

After about 4 miles of riding in sand I spotted the Winnebago that Dave had asked directions from days ago. My excitement level was starting to rise. Could it be we are somewhere near the parking lot???

Sure enough we hit the dirt road, took a left and within no time were back at the car. It was at this point I thanked every God I could think of and jumped up and down for joy. Then we high fived and hugged. Not that I thought we were going to be in trouble, but dang, riding through sand is hard and I was getting pooped! Total ride distance for that day was about 14 miles of up/down/up/down/up/down/sand.

It was a fantastic time and I'm so glad Dave was there to share it with me! When I go back to Moab, Souvereign will absolutely be the first ride I do!

Peace out my lovely friends!

Humbling Hills...

"Every new day is another chance to change your life." ~ Unknown


Day two of my trip to Moab had finally arrived. I would get to do the one thing I've been dying to do for so long...mountain bike. And not just mountain bike, but mountain bike in MOAB.

After a hearty breakfast with the gang, we hopped onto our trusty metallic steeds and ventured off. I said to Shauna, as we rode away from the campground, "I'm giddy. I'm mountain biking in Moab." She laughed and said "Just wait till you are actually mountain biking in Moab and not just on the roads!" So true...

Our first ride was going to be on the Slickrock trail. It's likely a good thing that I didn't look up anything about this trail...

First off though, I had to ride up about 6 km of a steep climbing road...on a mountain bike. Dang! This was the ONLY time I wished I had my road bike. I slugged along sucking wind the entire way. Perhaps I should have kept going on the trainer even after I quit triathlon??

Finally we were in the parking lot. My excitement was hard to contain. At least it was until I read the sign. No, not the sign that said where we were...the other one, with a trail description.

Ya. This sign. Unfortunately I cut off what it said at the bottom. However, the first sentance pretty much captures the essence of this ride. "Physically demanding and TECHNICALLY DIFFICULT."

Oh ohhhhh. I think I'm in trouble. See the thing is, if you recall, I hadn't ridden a mountain bike in the last 14 years. Give or take. For those who are used to triathlon bikes and have never ridden a MTB, trust me on this one. Its very very different. Your body position is different and what you are riding over is most obviously different.

I was starting to get a wee bit nervous.

Then we took off. Our group was seven in number. All but two of us were pretty advanced when it came to riding skills. The only other person who hadn't been on a bike much was my buddy Dave. The big difference between Dave and I is he sees someone else doing something and he figures "I can do that". I see someone doing something and think "Holy crap, how'd they do that??"

Within the first 3 minutes of the ride I had gone off a drop higher than I'd ever gone before. My heart was racing! The short climb up to the part where the trail branches off from the practice loop left me sucking wind big time. I decided then and there that I was going to stick to the practice loop.

I didn't realize at that point that the practice loop was just as difficult as the trail route, only it was shorter. We made a plan for meeting up after our rides and I set off on my own. I wasn't worried about being on my own as there were many people out there. Plus, the gang knew where I was. It was likely it would take me just as long to do the practice loop as it was for them to do the regular route anyways!


The route itself was gorgeous. How could it not be? This is Moab! I was okay for about the first five minutes. Then I came up to the first techinical part. I was shaking trying to get down the first drop. I had been told that although it's called slickrock, your tires actually stick to it. I was still hesitant though.


The first big climb I came to I tried to ride up it, but my lungs were not cooperating. I thought asthma was supposed to be better in the desert?? Apparantly mine was not. I'd already taken a few hits off my inhaler, so couldn't do much more than try to recover as fast as I could. So I got off my bike and pushed it up the hill.

With each section of the trail I'd take a deep breath and attempt to conquer it. At least there were white paint marks to let me know where the trail went or I'd have gone off a cliff within the first little while. Oh did I mention my fear of heights and being on an exposed cliff?

Sure, I'd tamed that fear a smidge with my climbing, but out here, the fear seemed to come back. You'll note the photo below with the little white markings that seemingly lead you right off the edge of a cliff! Gulp!


It was on these sections that I'd get off my bike, put it down, and walk to see where the path went. Then I'd decide if I could ride it or not. At this point I felt like I was doing more walking than riding and I was getting a bit frustrated.

I'd managed to do ok on some parts of the trail, but others I let my fear get the best of me. I started to think that maybe it would have been a better idea to go with the gang. That way I might not be as afraid. Then again, I'd likely hold them up and that wouldn't be fair to them either.

After who knows how long of doing a bit of riding and a bit of walking and getting frustrated, I decided to find a little spot on this cliff, put my bike down and then I sat down. I sat there just focussing on my breathing for a while, kind of like what I do when I meditate. That's when the tears started to roll.

I'm not really sure why I was crying. I remember thinking that even, "What are you crying for?" I know I felt afraid, but I wasn't sure if it was the bike route, or the thought of not being able to fulfill my Moab dream, or if it was just being overwhelmed with all that's gone on the past couple of months. Whatever was bugging me though, I thought it best just to let the tears stream down and release all that I was feeling.

I didn't cry for long. Just enough to feel a bit better. Then I took a look around. Wow. It's so beautiful here. Well if there is ever going to be a place where I just sit, this is not a bad one!

I think I sat there for about a half an hour. It was then that I heard some voices. A guy and a girl. The girl was saying how stupid she was for falling off her bike and how she sucked at riding. I felt so bad for her and wanted to tell her that it was ok and hey, at least she was out there trying!

It didn't take me too long to recognize I had been saying the same thing to myself - about not being good enough to be out there etc and questioning how the heck I was ever going to be able to ride here. They stopped to say hello and I watched as she braced herself to do the next descent. I told her she could do it and not to worry. So did her friend. She took a deep breath and went down the hill and beyond. Then the guy went.

I watched them ride till the next section, then I dusted myself off and got back on my bike. I can totally do this! I may be scared, and I may not be able to do everything on this trail, but I can at least do this with a positive attitude.

For the rest of the ride I had fun. Sure, I had to walk up some bits, but I made it down almost all the descents. That was a big step for me.

I made it through most of the sand that was there and even stopped to take some fun photos. I was in Moab - YEAH!!




When I reached the main trail loop, I decided not to go back to the car, but to see if I could do a little bit of the main trail. I got to the first descent, which I must say was INSANE! I watched a bunch of people struggle just to ride up it. Most didn't make it. Then I walked down the first section to see if I felt I could ride down the rest.

I couldn't. I was ok with that though! I turned around and made my way back to the trailhead. Already I could tell I'd gained a wee bit of confidence in my riding. I knew I'd have to grab some more if I was going to do the type of riding I had come to do.


I decided I'd talked to a couple of the group that new the area and explain that I would need a bit easier ride for the next day. I was completely humbled by this adventure, but I was not about to turn tail and hide. Afterall, was I not a five-foot-two-of-fury-ninja-princess-she-ra-soon-to-be-mountain-biker??!!

Tomorrow would be a new day and would bring even more adventures...

Peace out my gorgeous friends!

Road Trippin...

"There are exactly as many special occasions in life as we choose to celebrate." ~ Robert Brault

I can't seem to get Willie Nelson's song 'On the Road Again' out of my mind. Perhaps because that's all I've been doing!

I made the big move back to my home province, British Columbia, the first week of April. As much as I am glad to be home, it was harder than expected to leave my wee town. Or more to the point, leave the wonderful friends I have there.

Thankfully, I had two caring friends, Garney and Shelley, who helped me by driving a Uhaul packed with all of my possessions, while I drove my car out. How do you thank someone for doing that??? Not only did they help with the drive, but also with my emotional well being. I give many thanks!!

I was home barely a week when I was 'On the Road Again'. This time I was off on a wee adventure to Moab, Utah. I have wanted to go to Moab since about 1993-ish, when I first learned of it. It was then that I was quite into mountain biking (MTB) and got all the magazines. As soon as I saw Moab I fell in love and wanted to go. It only took me 17 years to finally get there.

My friend, Stephan, who I climbed with in Calgary told me that he and a group of friends go every year. Then he extended the invitation to join them. Hmmm....let's think about this...I am about to make a HUGE change in my life with my move, I'm emotionally a mess, I haven't had any contract work for a month...but it's Moab and a dream come true...COUNT ME IN!

So off I went on my wee journey. The rest of the group were either flying in from Montreal or driving from Calgary. This left me driving on my own from Vancouver. Good thing I'm an only kid who knows how to keep herself amused for a 20 hour drive!


I did the drive out in two days. It was uneventful, thankfully. Finally, on Saturday afternoon I arrived in Moab. One word: breathtaking.



Driving through town was like being in a small town in the Okanagan during a triathlon event. There were mountain bikes everywhere, as well as dirt bikes and 4x4's. I was in a mountain biking mecca!

As I was checking in I met the couple who would be my cabin mates for the first 5 nights - Noni and Reid. Then we found the others, two of whom were my friends from home, Stephan and Dave. Also with us would be Kim, Trina, Shauna, Mike and Richard. The rest of the group, Cedric, Karl-Eric and Stephan 2 were arriving the next day.

As soon as I met the gang I knew I was in the right place! Everyone was super friendly and enthusiastic about being there. Most had been there before, so they would be our guides for the week.

The first night was spent just getting to know one another as well as getting some groceries and setting up camp. "Camp" were some cabins, or chalets as we jokingly called them, located in a campsite off the main strip. It was surprisingly quiet even if it was off the main highway!


The night seemed to fly by and everyone was pretty pooped from our drives. So after a yummy meal of Mexican food we all bid each other adieu and headed off for a slumber before the next day.

Day two was to be a bit more of an adventure than I bargained for. A tale that I shall tell next time...

Peace out my lovely friends!

The River...

"peace. it does not mean to be in a pleace where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. it means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart." ~ unknown

Last May I was out in BC visiting the parental unit. I was runing along a trail that I love when an inner voice said 'I want to come home'. I stopped dead in my tracks. Where did that come from? Did I really want to come home? It took about a second before I had the answer. Yes.

I'm not sure why all of a sudden I wanted to be there. Perhaps it was Mum's fall that February where she ended up with a broken wrist and trauma galore due to a poor setting, wacky meds etc. Or maybe it was losing both my good friend Terry aka Tigger to cancer, and my furry buddy Mr. Cringely to kidney disease, all within the span of three weeks. Perhaps I was intoxicated with the smell of the pine trees and salt water. Or maybe it was just time...

Because I had just started my own consulting company and I had two Ironman races to complete that year, I decided that perhaps moving right away would not be the best idea. Instead I'd give myself a year to see how things went with the company and finish the races.

The year is now up and I'm less than two days away from moving home. The funny thing is I didn't realize it would be this hard to leave the life I created here. The last few weeks have been tough. Although I'm ecstatic to be going home to my family on the wet coast - ALL of them live there - I'm sad to be leaving the family of friends I have created here.

Yesterday was the hardest yet. I moved out of my house. I'm so thankful my friends were there to help with the move because I was struggling to find peace amidst the chaos. As I shut the door to what was now just the shell of my home I thought to myself 'Why now the attachment to this place? It's just a structure.'

A realization came over me, it wasn't just the house I was leaving, it was my friends. The house was the starting point. When I moved here five and half years ago I was heartbroken and licking the wounds of a failed relationship. This house was the first home I had owned on my own. It was like a warm security blanket, wrapping itself around my shoulders and telling me everything would be ok.

In very short order, everything was ok. I made new friends who would become like family. We would share our triumphs and losses together. I 'grew up' here - emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I sought inner peace and I found it. Now I am leaving all that...or am I? If I could create that type of sanctuary here, could I not create it when I went home? Or maybe I will just bring it with me. At least I will be starting out with a good foundation - friends and family who have been waiting for me to return.

These were the thoughts that tumbled around in my head as I walked along the river today. I had decided to come down here after having lunch with some of those wonderful friends I mentioned. I needed some quiet time to let sink in all that was happening. Last Saturday I came down to the river with my friend Ted. Usually I walk along the path that hugs the river, but on Saturday we looked down the embankment and noticed a skinny rocky 'beach' we could walk along.

Todays walk would take me a little downstream of that section. As soon as I got to the rivers edge, with all the beautiful river stones, I knew I was in the right place. It was quiet except for the gentle gurgling of the water over the stones and the drip drip drip, of the water coming off the melting snowbank onto the rocks.





Way up above I could hear the ruckus of a group of ducks flying into the sunny blue sky. As I stared up at their beauty I thought to myself...keep your mouth closed. You never know when one of those cute ducky's is going to decide to drop a load. Even in the peace of the moment my mind can be a wee bit bent.


At one point I tried skipping some rocks. I love doing that, alas I am not an expert. When I was here on Saturday Ted was skipping, what I would consider boulders, four or five times, but for some reason I could barely get two skips with the lightest, most perfectly flat stone. Today I didn't even manage one skip. Just a massive kerplunk! in the calm waters.


I figured the next best thing to skipping rocks, would be to skip on the rocks. I prayed my trusty Converse sneakers would hold on some of the rocks so I wouldn't go for an unexpected swim.


I was hopping and skipping along my merry way when I spotted this little find...a heart stone. This was the second heart stone I'd found in this area. I found one on Saturday when I was out here as well. Perhaps my little town is sending me off with love?

I felt better after my walk, more at peace with everything. I am going to miss this town and all of my friends here. My heart swells when I think of all the wonderful memories I have from here and I know there will be many more to follow...just in a different way.

Thank you to everyone I've met here who has been with me along my journey. You will forever be in my heart.



Peace out my beautiful friends!

L.E.E.P. Of Faith...

"When you look at yourself from a universal standpoint, something inside always reminds or informs you that there are bigger and better things to worry about." ~ Albert Einstein

It all started out innocently enough. Just over a year ago, I went in for my annual physical, which of course included a pap test. (Those who squirm at that sentance may want to hold off on reading the rest...) Now I've been having this done for the past 20 years. So no biggie. I always expect to get the letter in the mail saying 'All is well! Carry on for another year!'. Except it didn't happen.

I got a note saying, you have some abnormal cells - call your physician. Huh.

So I did, and I went in and was reassured that this was normal. That the abnormalities were 'low grade'. 'Don't worry', she said. Come back in six months and well do another. Likely it was just caused by stress. Have you had any stress lately? Well, I did complete an Ironman race this year?

Six months passed and I went in again. I figured all would be well by then - afterall, I'd taken up meditating and living mindfully. Surely that would put all those nasty cells back in their place? Alas, another note came along saying abnormal cells. I was starting to wonder what was going on.

Again, my physician reassured me that this was normal and not to worry. They'd schedule me for a colposcopy (a biopsy of my inside girl bits) to confirm it was low grade and determine what was up. I had a six month wait before I got in, and in February I went.

I must say, the staff at the Women's Health Centre at Foothills were great. I went in and had a wee chat with a nurse - the usual background stuff. Then she went on to describe in detail what I was going to be experiencing when I went into the exam room. As with my physician, she reassured me that I didn't have to worry. The cells were low grade and that's nothing to fret about. If they were high grade, that's when we get concerned...

The exam/colposcopy room is like most ob/gyn rooms. They had the pre-requisite sailing/ocean/surf posters on the ceiling. These are put there, I assume, in an attempt to get a women to be relaxed as she has a male strangers head between her knees. Okay, granted he has the label of 'doctor', but still! I'm used to only female doctors.

That day I was wishing I had a female doctor. I think they have a better understanding of what goes on 'down there' and are more delicate. Unfortunately the male physician I had was mistaking me for a turkey. Yeow! I was tempted to give him a little tap on the side of his head with my foot as a suggestion to lighten up. Thankfully, there was a wonderful nurse who held my hand and reassured me all was well.

And that was that as far as I was concerned. I would get my results in a few weeks. See, nothing to worry about.

Last Monday I got the phone call. There was a nurse on the other end of the line informing me that they had found high grade cells on my cervix. I would have to come in for a L.E.E.P. They knew I was moving so could I come in soon. I didn't hesitate and asked to be booked in as soon as possible - they got me in the following Friday.

After I hung up the phone a million thoughts went through my head. These thoughts were fueled by all of the stories I had heard in the past year about friends or friends of friends getting, having or dying from cancer. It seemed like everytime I turned someone else was getting, having, or dying of cancer. Not to mention - they were all in my age group. This included my close friend Terry. Then one big thought popped into my head...

Was I next?

High grade cells are just a step down from cervical cancer. What the heck was going on inside my body??? There was only one thing I could do. Call the parental unit! I needed my Mommy.

I called and got both of them on the phone as I tearfully explained what was happening. Thankfully I am a somewhat rational person and added that I'm sure everything was going to be okay, I just needed a moment to cry and panic and then I would be fine. I must say, Dad did really well on the phone considering we were discussing female health issues that dealt with 'down there'. At least until Mom brought up a question that made me say 'Okay Dad, you can get off the phone now.' I could hear his sigh of relief, which made me laugh, which is always good medicine.

The rest of the day was spent meditating. Literally. I sat for a total of 2.5 hours and afterwards I felt more calm and sure that everything really would be okay. Afterall, this is why we get checked, so that we can catch things before it becomes something really bad.

The next few days I continued doing what I do. I made sure I practiced some sitting meditation every morning too. This, I realized the last few weeks, keeps me very grounded and calm. I'm not sure how or why, but it does the trick.

Friday morning arrived. I made plans to attend the Little Tea Temple for some sitting meditation. I figured being in a peaceful community would be a good start to the day. Thankfully, my dear friend Garney, who I have unofficially adopted as my big brother, came with me. I was so grateful to him because a) it meant leaving our wee town at a very early hour after both of us had late nights, me at climbing and him at the lodge, and b) he would have to sit in meditaoin for 40 minutes. Something he's never done. Still he was willing to help me in whatever way I needed. One couldn't ask for more in a big brother!

After our sitting, of which Garney did amazing I should add, we went for some breakfast at the Lazy Loaf cafe. Both the meditation and the company were the perfect way to get me in a very happy, peaceful state of mind before going to the hospital.

Soon enough it was time to go in. The waiting room is typically full of fear energy - this morning was no exception. Another reason to go with a friend! I checked in and shortly after was lead to a room to chat with a nurse. I had a list of questions to ask. This was part of my 'keeping things in perspective' mode that I had taken on. The big question - was this going to spread and could there be nasty cells in other parts of my reproductive system that we don't know about yet??? How do we know this will take care of this issue?

The nurse was amazingly patient with me. Unfortunately, this is not always the case in the health care system. She explained the entire procedure, using diagrams so I knew exactly what was up and made sure I knew and understood what was going to happen. I'm quite proud I didn't dry heave looking at the diagrams. I have issues with 'insides'. Blood, no problem. Insides, problem. She also answered all my questions and reassured me in a way that I knew all would be well. I just had to get through the next bit...

Once again I found myself staring up at a beach scene. Oh to actually be there. The nurse in the room got me all set up, this included placing a huge 4"x4" grounding pad on my butt cheek. Oh, I should explain....L.E.E.P. stands for loop electrosurgical excision procedure. As there is electricity, the need to ground me. It was at this point I started my meditational breathing...

Then the doctor came in. I was thankful it wasn't the same one I had last time. This fellow had a charming Yorkshire accent, which was reassuring for no apparant reason. He was fantastic at telling me exactly what he was going to do as we went along. No surprises or sudden movements - always a good thing when one has their hoo hoo exposed and there is electricity involved!

The next step was to freeze my lower insides, a process which uses adrenaline mixed in with the freezing. Here's the fun part - try keeping still while they have an electrical loop inside you, bascially doing a cervix circumscision and your heart is racing from adrenaline! Oh and did I mention my thighs and butt cheeks felt like they were doing a jiggy booty dance?? Yikes.

I shall spare you with the remaining details as the worst was over at that point. In no time at all, it was done and I was good to go. Well, once I could sit up without feeling like I was going to fall over or shake to death. That adrenaline is quite the rush!

The recovery part so far has been good. Some discomfort but nothing I can't handle. The day of the procedure I just laid about doing nothing. I hurt and was wiped out. Likely from the emotional aspect more so than the physical. As I'm not allowed to lift heavy stuff I decided to take advantage of the time and do some walking with friends on the weekend.

I'm not worried anymore about things - at least not this thing. I go in again in six months for another colposcopy to check it all out. See how things are. I'm thankful we have procedures like this now. So many women have died from cervical cancer because they didn't have access or didn't go in for annual check ups.

Hopefully this is the last of this journey for me. Time will tell. At the very least I have another good story to tell.

Peace out my gorgeous friends!

A Canmore Walk...

"The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree." ~ Stephen Wright

Today was the type of day where I just wanted to walk. But not walk just any old place, I wanted to walk surrounded by mountains. Where better to go then, but to Canmore to visit with my friends Trudie and Spring!

This may be my last visit to Canmore for a while, as I am moving back to the West Coast in a couple of week, so it was nice to go have lunch, then enjoy my friends company while strolling along the river. Not to mention it was the first day of Spring and boy did Mother Nature deliver! What a brilliant day.

Here are some photos to capture the beauty of the day....

Peace out my lovely friends!

Views from the Bow River

Trudie and Yours Truly

Spring and I, with wee Cedar tucked in her Baby Bjorn!

Me with Lady MacDonald mountain in behind (I've hiked to the tea house platform up there).

Bunnies, bunnies everywhere. All over Canmore actually...

To Climb...Or Not To Climb...

"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it." ~ Charles Swindoll

A few weeks ago I toodled off to the climbing wall with the boys. I hadn't been feeling in top shape that day. Not sure if I ate something wrong or what, but the GI system was in shutdown mode and the process was sucking my energy. Ick.

I thought of bailing, but just couldn't. I love meeting up with the dudes and climbing. So I went. Turns out I wasn't the only one lacking in energy that night. Funny how that happens.

As it was, I had my first cruddy climbing night. I just couldn't get myself in the mode of climbing. I only made it half way on a couple of climbs. Instead I decided to take some photos.

Gunter way up high, with Jim on belay as well as striking a pose. (The walls here are 72 - 74ft)

Dave (L) and Jim (R) getting ready for a climb with Stephan fleeing from the camera!

Stephan chillaxing and waiting for someone to be belay.

Me, having put the camera down, belaying Stephan.

To make up for my lack of climbing on the Thursday, I skipped a sangha night and went again the following Monday. It was packed in the gym! A group of girl and boy scouts were there learning to climb.

There was one young fellow who was up a ways and was ready to come down. Kind of. The instructor was going to lower him....but the boy wouldn't let go of the holds. Oh how I know that feeling!! That was me not too long ago. My heart went out to the boy and I wished I could have climbed up to him to help him out. Eventually he did let go after much coaxing. I think he enjoyed the climb up at least!

I started out with my usual climb. I'd been working on it for a while. I have climbed it before, so knew I could. For some reason, this time I put some extra pressure on myself to complete it faster or better, which is not a bad thing...except when you start getting down on yourself when you don't achieve the better, faster part. Which is what I started to do, I'm sorry to say. I'm not sure where this attitude came from - perhaps left over from my Ironman days?? It wasn't a good attitude. Unfortunately, it stayed with me during the rest of my evening, which made for a not so fun night of climbing. I was putting pressure on myself, which was stressful.

I thought I had left those types of negative thoughts behind when I decided not to do the whole Ironman training/racing thing anymore. The hilarious part is I wasn't even very good at IM and yet I still had this attitude that if I wasn't as fast as this or as strong as that, I wasn't doing well.

This is not the type of attitude in my current activities. I am doing what I'm doing for the sheer joy of it, as well as the benefit of fitness!

As they say, the first step to fixing something is acknowledging there is a problem. So I did. I then went back to the gym on Thursday with a major attitude adjustment. I want this to be fun and enjoyable. I needed to bring some of my mindfulness practice into the climb and to enjoy the moment for what it was. I needed to relax when confronted with a challenge and let the solution come to me.

Which is exactly what I have done since then. The end result?? Some AMAZING climbing! Each time I go someone teaches me something new about climbing. Because I am staying more relaxed and calm when I climb, I remember what they say and can apply it. I am trusting myself more, most especially my toes and legs and the fact that they are rather strong and will hold me in a spot!

Last Thursday was magnificant! I did four 5.9 climbs - two of which were new to me. I made it to the top on all of them even though there were some tough sections that I had to find a solution to get through. I was calm and zen like the whole way. In fact, I was so calm that when I missed a hold and slipped, then swung on the rope, I didn't scream! A HUGE accomplishment. I might add that this fact was duly noted by Aroonis and Stephan below, much to my amusement. Aroonis then challenged me to look down and wave....uh no. I'm not at that comfort level yet!

As with all the challenges that life throws you, I'm glad that I got all huffy about climbing. It allowed me to decide what type of climbing I wanted to do, then take some steps to achieve a more peaceful environment for myself.

I'm excited for this weeks climb. Who knows what will be in store. Perhaps I will see what a 5.10 climb feels like, or I'll try out the new 5.9 climbs and see if I remember how I made it past the tricky spots?? At least I know it will be fun!

Peace out my beautiful friends!