Monday, 14 January 2013

Dear Gym Guy...

"To keep the body in good health is a duty...otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear." - Buddha

Dear Mr. New to the Gym (or perhaps new to this time slot...),

Okay, so this is a work gym.  It's nothing fancy, although we do get new equipment now and then.  I like it.  The folks here, when I am, are quite nice.  We say hello, and then get about the task at hand.  Those of us here at the 5:45 to 6:30 am slot have been coming here for a while.  

So I will give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you don't know some things because I have never seen you in there before and you appeared to be reading off of a new workout program sheet.   Take, for instance, etiquette.  There is unspoken gym etiquette I feel I must make you aware of...

a) Do NOT come in and change the radio station (even though I prefer CBC Radio 2 to Jack FM, as you apparently do).  The first in gets the priviledge of setting it no matter how heinous.  

b) Do NOT set up ALL your barbells, dumbells, benches etc across the entire front of the gym, then ask me to 'watch myself' when you decide to use one of these pieces of equipment even though I was there first, doing a set of curls.  YOU are the one who should move your stuff.  You are lucky Buddha girl was in the house this mornin', else you might have had to duck as a 15lb weight came flying your way.  Normally I would not even think of such violence, but point c) was ready to drive me to it.

c) Do NOT wear gym clothes that you have not washed since 8th grade.  I am Dutch and have a substantial and most sensitive nose.  It's not polite to make someone dry heave at 6 am in the morning!  I can't even begin to describe what you smelled like.  And it was rather odd that you did considering the rest of you looked very well put together, from your black knee brace, black shorts, black shirt, and black workout gloves.  Not a hair was out of place either.  Come to think of it, did you sweat? 

If you should follow these rules you may survive to workout another day.

Fellow gym members who have been there longer than you.

PS Gym gloves are so 80s...ditch them.  Callouses are good for you.  :) 

Peace out.

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