The River...

"peace. it does not mean to be in a pleace where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. it means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart." ~ unknown

Last May I was out in BC visiting the parental unit. I was runing along a trail that I love when an inner voice said 'I want to come home'. I stopped dead in my tracks. Where did that come from? Did I really want to come home? It took about a second before I had the answer. Yes.

I'm not sure why all of a sudden I wanted to be there. Perhaps it was Mum's fall that February where she ended up with a broken wrist and trauma galore due to a poor setting, wacky meds etc. Or maybe it was losing both my good friend Terry aka Tigger to cancer, and my furry buddy Mr. Cringely to kidney disease, all within the span of three weeks. Perhaps I was intoxicated with the smell of the pine trees and salt water. Or maybe it was just time...

Because I had just started my own consulting company and I had two Ironman races to complete that year, I decided that perhaps moving right away would not be the best idea. Instead I'd give myself a year to see how things went with the company and finish the races.

The year is now up and I'm less than two days away from moving home. The funny thing is I didn't realize it would be this hard to leave the life I created here. The last few weeks have been tough. Although I'm ecstatic to be going home to my family on the wet coast - ALL of them live there - I'm sad to be leaving the family of friends I have created here.

Yesterday was the hardest yet. I moved out of my house. I'm so thankful my friends were there to help with the move because I was struggling to find peace amidst the chaos. As I shut the door to what was now just the shell of my home I thought to myself 'Why now the attachment to this place? It's just a structure.'

A realization came over me, it wasn't just the house I was leaving, it was my friends. The house was the starting point. When I moved here five and half years ago I was heartbroken and licking the wounds of a failed relationship. This house was the first home I had owned on my own. It was like a warm security blanket, wrapping itself around my shoulders and telling me everything would be ok.

In very short order, everything was ok. I made new friends who would become like family. We would share our triumphs and losses together. I 'grew up' here - emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I sought inner peace and I found it. Now I am leaving all that...or am I? If I could create that type of sanctuary here, could I not create it when I went home? Or maybe I will just bring it with me. At least I will be starting out with a good foundation - friends and family who have been waiting for me to return.

These were the thoughts that tumbled around in my head as I walked along the river today. I had decided to come down here after having lunch with some of those wonderful friends I mentioned. I needed some quiet time to let sink in all that was happening. Last Saturday I came down to the river with my friend Ted. Usually I walk along the path that hugs the river, but on Saturday we looked down the embankment and noticed a skinny rocky 'beach' we could walk along.

Todays walk would take me a little downstream of that section. As soon as I got to the rivers edge, with all the beautiful river stones, I knew I was in the right place. It was quiet except for the gentle gurgling of the water over the stones and the drip drip drip, of the water coming off the melting snowbank onto the rocks.





Way up above I could hear the ruckus of a group of ducks flying into the sunny blue sky. As I stared up at their beauty I thought to myself...keep your mouth closed. You never know when one of those cute ducky's is going to decide to drop a load. Even in the peace of the moment my mind can be a wee bit bent.


At one point I tried skipping some rocks. I love doing that, alas I am not an expert. When I was here on Saturday Ted was skipping, what I would consider boulders, four or five times, but for some reason I could barely get two skips with the lightest, most perfectly flat stone. Today I didn't even manage one skip. Just a massive kerplunk! in the calm waters.


I figured the next best thing to skipping rocks, would be to skip on the rocks. I prayed my trusty Converse sneakers would hold on some of the rocks so I wouldn't go for an unexpected swim.


I was hopping and skipping along my merry way when I spotted this little find...a heart stone. This was the second heart stone I'd found in this area. I found one on Saturday when I was out here as well. Perhaps my little town is sending me off with love?

I felt better after my walk, more at peace with everything. I am going to miss this town and all of my friends here. My heart swells when I think of all the wonderful memories I have from here and I know there will be many more to follow...just in a different way.

Thank you to everyone I've met here who has been with me along my journey. You will forever be in my heart.



Peace out my beautiful friends!

L.E.E.P. Of Faith...

"When you look at yourself from a universal standpoint, something inside always reminds or informs you that there are bigger and better things to worry about." ~ Albert Einstein

It all started out innocently enough. Just over a year ago, I went in for my annual physical, which of course included a pap test. (Those who squirm at that sentance may want to hold off on reading the rest...) Now I've been having this done for the past 20 years. So no biggie. I always expect to get the letter in the mail saying 'All is well! Carry on for another year!'. Except it didn't happen.

I got a note saying, you have some abnormal cells - call your physician. Huh.

So I did, and I went in and was reassured that this was normal. That the abnormalities were 'low grade'. 'Don't worry', she said. Come back in six months and well do another. Likely it was just caused by stress. Have you had any stress lately? Well, I did complete an Ironman race this year?

Six months passed and I went in again. I figured all would be well by then - afterall, I'd taken up meditating and living mindfully. Surely that would put all those nasty cells back in their place? Alas, another note came along saying abnormal cells. I was starting to wonder what was going on.

Again, my physician reassured me that this was normal and not to worry. They'd schedule me for a colposcopy (a biopsy of my inside girl bits) to confirm it was low grade and determine what was up. I had a six month wait before I got in, and in February I went.

I must say, the staff at the Women's Health Centre at Foothills were great. I went in and had a wee chat with a nurse - the usual background stuff. Then she went on to describe in detail what I was going to be experiencing when I went into the exam room. As with my physician, she reassured me that I didn't have to worry. The cells were low grade and that's nothing to fret about. If they were high grade, that's when we get concerned...

The exam/colposcopy room is like most ob/gyn rooms. They had the pre-requisite sailing/ocean/surf posters on the ceiling. These are put there, I assume, in an attempt to get a women to be relaxed as she has a male strangers head between her knees. Okay, granted he has the label of 'doctor', but still! I'm used to only female doctors.

That day I was wishing I had a female doctor. I think they have a better understanding of what goes on 'down there' and are more delicate. Unfortunately the male physician I had was mistaking me for a turkey. Yeow! I was tempted to give him a little tap on the side of his head with my foot as a suggestion to lighten up. Thankfully, there was a wonderful nurse who held my hand and reassured me all was well.

And that was that as far as I was concerned. I would get my results in a few weeks. See, nothing to worry about.

Last Monday I got the phone call. There was a nurse on the other end of the line informing me that they had found high grade cells on my cervix. I would have to come in for a L.E.E.P. They knew I was moving so could I come in soon. I didn't hesitate and asked to be booked in as soon as possible - they got me in the following Friday.

After I hung up the phone a million thoughts went through my head. These thoughts were fueled by all of the stories I had heard in the past year about friends or friends of friends getting, having or dying from cancer. It seemed like everytime I turned someone else was getting, having, or dying of cancer. Not to mention - they were all in my age group. This included my close friend Terry. Then one big thought popped into my head...

Was I next?

High grade cells are just a step down from cervical cancer. What the heck was going on inside my body??? There was only one thing I could do. Call the parental unit! I needed my Mommy.

I called and got both of them on the phone as I tearfully explained what was happening. Thankfully I am a somewhat rational person and added that I'm sure everything was going to be okay, I just needed a moment to cry and panic and then I would be fine. I must say, Dad did really well on the phone considering we were discussing female health issues that dealt with 'down there'. At least until Mom brought up a question that made me say 'Okay Dad, you can get off the phone now.' I could hear his sigh of relief, which made me laugh, which is always good medicine.

The rest of the day was spent meditating. Literally. I sat for a total of 2.5 hours and afterwards I felt more calm and sure that everything really would be okay. Afterall, this is why we get checked, so that we can catch things before it becomes something really bad.

The next few days I continued doing what I do. I made sure I practiced some sitting meditation every morning too. This, I realized the last few weeks, keeps me very grounded and calm. I'm not sure how or why, but it does the trick.

Friday morning arrived. I made plans to attend the Little Tea Temple for some sitting meditation. I figured being in a peaceful community would be a good start to the day. Thankfully, my dear friend Garney, who I have unofficially adopted as my big brother, came with me. I was so grateful to him because a) it meant leaving our wee town at a very early hour after both of us had late nights, me at climbing and him at the lodge, and b) he would have to sit in meditaoin for 40 minutes. Something he's never done. Still he was willing to help me in whatever way I needed. One couldn't ask for more in a big brother!

After our sitting, of which Garney did amazing I should add, we went for some breakfast at the Lazy Loaf cafe. Both the meditation and the company were the perfect way to get me in a very happy, peaceful state of mind before going to the hospital.

Soon enough it was time to go in. The waiting room is typically full of fear energy - this morning was no exception. Another reason to go with a friend! I checked in and shortly after was lead to a room to chat with a nurse. I had a list of questions to ask. This was part of my 'keeping things in perspective' mode that I had taken on. The big question - was this going to spread and could there be nasty cells in other parts of my reproductive system that we don't know about yet??? How do we know this will take care of this issue?

The nurse was amazingly patient with me. Unfortunately, this is not always the case in the health care system. She explained the entire procedure, using diagrams so I knew exactly what was up and made sure I knew and understood what was going to happen. I'm quite proud I didn't dry heave looking at the diagrams. I have issues with 'insides'. Blood, no problem. Insides, problem. She also answered all my questions and reassured me in a way that I knew all would be well. I just had to get through the next bit...

Once again I found myself staring up at a beach scene. Oh to actually be there. The nurse in the room got me all set up, this included placing a huge 4"x4" grounding pad on my butt cheek. Oh, I should explain....L.E.E.P. stands for loop electrosurgical excision procedure. As there is electricity, the need to ground me. It was at this point I started my meditational breathing...

Then the doctor came in. I was thankful it wasn't the same one I had last time. This fellow had a charming Yorkshire accent, which was reassuring for no apparant reason. He was fantastic at telling me exactly what he was going to do as we went along. No surprises or sudden movements - always a good thing when one has their hoo hoo exposed and there is electricity involved!

The next step was to freeze my lower insides, a process which uses adrenaline mixed in with the freezing. Here's the fun part - try keeping still while they have an electrical loop inside you, bascially doing a cervix circumscision and your heart is racing from adrenaline! Oh and did I mention my thighs and butt cheeks felt like they were doing a jiggy booty dance?? Yikes.

I shall spare you with the remaining details as the worst was over at that point. In no time at all, it was done and I was good to go. Well, once I could sit up without feeling like I was going to fall over or shake to death. That adrenaline is quite the rush!

The recovery part so far has been good. Some discomfort but nothing I can't handle. The day of the procedure I just laid about doing nothing. I hurt and was wiped out. Likely from the emotional aspect more so than the physical. As I'm not allowed to lift heavy stuff I decided to take advantage of the time and do some walking with friends on the weekend.

I'm not worried anymore about things - at least not this thing. I go in again in six months for another colposcopy to check it all out. See how things are. I'm thankful we have procedures like this now. So many women have died from cervical cancer because they didn't have access or didn't go in for annual check ups.

Hopefully this is the last of this journey for me. Time will tell. At the very least I have another good story to tell.

Peace out my gorgeous friends!

A Canmore Walk...

"The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree." ~ Stephen Wright

Today was the type of day where I just wanted to walk. But not walk just any old place, I wanted to walk surrounded by mountains. Where better to go then, but to Canmore to visit with my friends Trudie and Spring!

This may be my last visit to Canmore for a while, as I am moving back to the West Coast in a couple of week, so it was nice to go have lunch, then enjoy my friends company while strolling along the river. Not to mention it was the first day of Spring and boy did Mother Nature deliver! What a brilliant day.

Here are some photos to capture the beauty of the day....

Peace out my lovely friends!

Views from the Bow River

Trudie and Yours Truly

Spring and I, with wee Cedar tucked in her Baby Bjorn!

Me with Lady MacDonald mountain in behind (I've hiked to the tea house platform up there).

Bunnies, bunnies everywhere. All over Canmore actually...

To Climb...Or Not To Climb...

"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it." ~ Charles Swindoll

A few weeks ago I toodled off to the climbing wall with the boys. I hadn't been feeling in top shape that day. Not sure if I ate something wrong or what, but the GI system was in shutdown mode and the process was sucking my energy. Ick.

I thought of bailing, but just couldn't. I love meeting up with the dudes and climbing. So I went. Turns out I wasn't the only one lacking in energy that night. Funny how that happens.

As it was, I had my first cruddy climbing night. I just couldn't get myself in the mode of climbing. I only made it half way on a couple of climbs. Instead I decided to take some photos.

Gunter way up high, with Jim on belay as well as striking a pose. (The walls here are 72 - 74ft)

Dave (L) and Jim (R) getting ready for a climb with Stephan fleeing from the camera!

Stephan chillaxing and waiting for someone to be belay.

Me, having put the camera down, belaying Stephan.

To make up for my lack of climbing on the Thursday, I skipped a sangha night and went again the following Monday. It was packed in the gym! A group of girl and boy scouts were there learning to climb.

There was one young fellow who was up a ways and was ready to come down. Kind of. The instructor was going to lower him....but the boy wouldn't let go of the holds. Oh how I know that feeling!! That was me not too long ago. My heart went out to the boy and I wished I could have climbed up to him to help him out. Eventually he did let go after much coaxing. I think he enjoyed the climb up at least!

I started out with my usual climb. I'd been working on it for a while. I have climbed it before, so knew I could. For some reason, this time I put some extra pressure on myself to complete it faster or better, which is not a bad thing...except when you start getting down on yourself when you don't achieve the better, faster part. Which is what I started to do, I'm sorry to say. I'm not sure where this attitude came from - perhaps left over from my Ironman days?? It wasn't a good attitude. Unfortunately, it stayed with me during the rest of my evening, which made for a not so fun night of climbing. I was putting pressure on myself, which was stressful.

I thought I had left those types of negative thoughts behind when I decided not to do the whole Ironman training/racing thing anymore. The hilarious part is I wasn't even very good at IM and yet I still had this attitude that if I wasn't as fast as this or as strong as that, I wasn't doing well.

This is not the type of attitude in my current activities. I am doing what I'm doing for the sheer joy of it, as well as the benefit of fitness!

As they say, the first step to fixing something is acknowledging there is a problem. So I did. I then went back to the gym on Thursday with a major attitude adjustment. I want this to be fun and enjoyable. I needed to bring some of my mindfulness practice into the climb and to enjoy the moment for what it was. I needed to relax when confronted with a challenge and let the solution come to me.

Which is exactly what I have done since then. The end result?? Some AMAZING climbing! Each time I go someone teaches me something new about climbing. Because I am staying more relaxed and calm when I climb, I remember what they say and can apply it. I am trusting myself more, most especially my toes and legs and the fact that they are rather strong and will hold me in a spot!

Last Thursday was magnificant! I did four 5.9 climbs - two of which were new to me. I made it to the top on all of them even though there were some tough sections that I had to find a solution to get through. I was calm and zen like the whole way. In fact, I was so calm that when I missed a hold and slipped, then swung on the rope, I didn't scream! A HUGE accomplishment. I might add that this fact was duly noted by Aroonis and Stephan below, much to my amusement. Aroonis then challenged me to look down and wave....uh no. I'm not at that comfort level yet!

As with all the challenges that life throws you, I'm glad that I got all huffy about climbing. It allowed me to decide what type of climbing I wanted to do, then take some steps to achieve a more peaceful environment for myself.

I'm excited for this weeks climb. Who knows what will be in store. Perhaps I will see what a 5.10 climb feels like, or I'll try out the new 5.9 climbs and see if I remember how I made it past the tricky spots?? At least I know it will be fun!

Peace out my beautiful friends!

The Big 4-0!!!

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather, to skid in broadside thoroughly used-up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming: WOW WHAT A RIDE!" ~ Author Unknown

The past year was very much an eye opener for me. I realized that life is short and it's really best not to put off till tomorrow, or next year, to do what you want. Because you never know what's around the corner.

Death has a way of doing that to a person. Well, not their death obviously, but the death of someone near and dear who was far too young. No wonder people go through mid life crises! As you get older you start losing people who shouldn't be dying and you think, holy shite, if it can happen to them, it can happen to me!! WHAT HAVE I DONE WITH MY LIFE SO FAR???

I had some business to finish last year, in other words two Ironman races that I committed myself to, before I could really start to embark on a new path. A new journey, if you will. I just hoped nothing happened to me in the meantime so I could start to make some changes!

One of the changes I was determined to make was to not put things off that I wanted to do. To stop making excuses about why I couldn't do something - money, time, having to do it on my own...

A few weeks ago I decided I wanted to do something for my 40th birthday that wasn't the ordinary. I just wasn't sure what it was. Then Trudy and I drove past some dog sledders when we were coming back from skiing at Mount Shark.

I looked over and said, THAT is going on the bucket list! I would love to do that!!! She looked at me and said, 'So why don't you do that for your birthday? You were looking for something different.'

Of course! What better way to keep the new path of adventure going?! Dog sledding. That's what I'm going to do.... so yesterday for my 40th birthday, I did it.

The first fun part of the adventure was calling the parental unit and letting them know what they would be doing for my birthday. They were going to fly out to help me celebrate, so I wanted them to go dog sledding with me. I just want to say right now how awesome it is that I have parents with a sense of adventure! Hmmm, maybe that's where I got this from?!

They were a little nervous when they heard that I was going to be the driver, but as I mentioned, they were up for it.

Yesterday morning we headed off to the Snowy Owl Sled Dog Tours in Canmore. (If ever you want to try this adventure, I highly recommend them! Here's the link for their site: http://www.snowyowltours.com/)

A bunch of us clamoured into the waiting van where our driver was waiting. The first thing I noticed was how enthusiastic he was about the whole dog sled thing - and he was our driver! The rest of the crew at Snowy Owl are just as happy to be doing what they are doing. A good sign.

We got to Spary Lakes and saw the sleds and dogs. Then we were treated to a 1/2 hour talk about what we need to know and the commands. There weren't many commands....but I was still wondering how the heck I was going to remember it all. I'm sure the parental unit were wondering too as they were going to be bundled in the sled.

We got to pet the dogs and say hello - oh they were adorable. Then we were assigned to sled number 2, which was going to head out behind our guide, Bill. (I like to think of him as Grizzly Bill because of his wonderful beard!) This was a good thing because I knew I could just follow what he was doing!

Getting the parental unit into the sled was enough to have me doubled over in laughter. They were squished into the wee sled, then bundled up with blankets and sealed in. We were all laughing hard.

I'm sure my hands were a bit shaking as I stood on the back of the sled, with my feet on the brake waiting for the lead sled to go. We were unhooked from the post and HIKE! off we went.

Some sledding trivia here:

• Much to my disappointment, one does not say "MUSH!" to get the dogs to go. You say 'HIKE or HIKE UP!' in a happy and positive tone, I should add, or else the dogs will ignore you. Really though....they don't need any encouragement to get going, they just want to run.
• EASY PUPPIES, means what it sounds like, go slow. This is good for the downhills; however as noted above, they want to run so they don't really ease up. Therefore you have one foot, or both, on the brake and you continue to hang on for dear life.
• WHOA, means stop....kind off. Again, referring back to point number one, the dogs like to run. So you say that then you practically jump on the brake and let them drag you for a bit while saying in a happy and positive tone 'WHOA PUPPIES, WHOA!' several times.
  
• They don't use the big siberian huskies for the sleds. Well, they may use a few in the really cold, but here it's not cold enough and the dogs would melt. Also, they are muscle, so you only have a couple of them to help pull. The bigger stronger dogs are put right in front of the sled, not in the lead.
  
• The other dogs are fairly slight in build, but strong!
• The lead dogs, 9 times out of 10, are female. Why? Becasue they are smarter, of course. Not to mention they have a better sense of direction and when lost will not be afraid to ask for directions....

When we first took off I wasn't quite sure about the steering. This was evident when we had to go over a wee bridge and I could hear the parental unit squeaking or mumbling something as we almost went into the creek. Hmmm, okay so I have to actually do some work here...

That's another bit of trivia actually, you do have to do some work. Not only steering, but also pushing. You see, when you get to a bit of an incline, you have to hop off the sled, run beside it and push a bit. If you don't, the dogs will look back around at you so you feel shame of having to make them work hard, and if they see you are not doing your fair share, they will stop.

Good thing I'm fit because on the first hill, which was a bit long, I hopped off and started running, hanging on for dear life, and trying to push. This, apparantly, was not enough effort for a couple of the dogs as they turned around to look at me. 'WHAT??? I'm pushing for the love of Pete!' They must have been ok with that, and heard my huffing and puffing breath, because they kept going. Phew. I was sucking wind at the top of the incline and happy to jump back on.

That's when I asked my folks if they wanted to try driving - they both said no, they were happy where they were. Go figure!

There was one really sharp corner that I was pretty nervous about. Bill, our guide, stopped every now and then to check on us as well as to give extra instruction. There was his sled, ours, and a couple of gals from Boston behind us. The rest of the group was slower.

As we got into the corner I leaned to the far right standing on one side of the sled yelling, in a happy and positive voice, 'GEE PUPPIES! GEE!!' (That means go to the right.) Honestly, there was one point where I wasn't sure we wouldn't go on our side...the folks were thinking that too. But we didn't, thanks to my brilliant driving! (Yes, I told the parental unit that too...I'm such a modest child with no need for acknowledgement..)

The gals behind us weren't so lucky and went over on their side. Well, the sled did, with one of the girls. She said she now knows how a bobsledder feels when they go sliding down the track on their side! Bill had us stop and ran to the rescue. Everyone was okay and there were still lots of smiles.

Soon enough we were all set and ready to go again. It was at this point that I realized I wasn't actually in command of the dogs. We had been 'standing' for a while as the other sled was being righted and my dogs got bored. So they started to go. I was on the brake and yelling 'WHOA' in a happy and positive voice, but they could care less. So Bill got his sled going and I yelled, HIKE, in a quiet, yet still positive and happy voice as if it was really me in control.

I said to my parents, 'Uh, I'm in command. Really.' They both laughed at that one and made comments about sure you are, and no, no, the dogs aren't doing whatever they please... Hmpfff.

After an hour of sledding we were back to the start point. I didn't want to stop. It was invigorating being out in the mountains on a dogsled! I was finally getting a grip on the steering - mainly because I was mimicking what Bill was doing on the lead sled. It worked though! I joked about the next step being the Iditarod. Because after one hour of sledding I'm sure I could totally handle it!

The fun didn't stop with the sledding. The dogs were tied up again and it was now time to unleash the parental unit from their sled coccoon. Easier said than done... I was extending an arm to help pull Mum up and she put her other hand down to get leverage. The sleds are fairly deep. Unfortunately for my Pops she almost put all her weight on his nads. I'm happy to report he's no longer singing sorprano.

All of us were laughing so hard at that that I couldn't pull Mum out and she couldn't push herself out, once she found a more appropriate place to put her hand. Thankfully Dad was laughing too....

Once that little drama was done, we went to join the group to share hot apple cider, cookies and stories of our adventures.

What an amazing way to start off the next decade of my life. MUSH PUPPIES MUSH!!! (I just had to say that once!) Oh, and yes, I'm totally ready to quit my day job and become a sled dog guide!!

Here are some photos from our adventure...

Figure 1: Yours truly at Snowy Owl Sled Dog Tours with one of the big dogs...

Figure 2: Me giving scritches to one of the puppies - next thing I new he had his paws on my lap and his face in mine!

Figure 3: The sled.

Figure 4: The parental unit getting bundled up in the sled.

Figure 5: Ready to go - HIKE UP PUPPIES!

Figure 6: The view for the parental unit - puppy arse! Not to mention they flick snow...


Figure 7: My view...

Figure 8: Out on the lake...can you tell the puppies are just waiting to get back to running??

Figure 9: What a view!

Figure 10: Back to the start with our lead dogs, Apache (L), and Excaliber (R).

Figure 11: Our fearless guide Bill, who did an amazing job and made this trip a blast.

Peace out my beautiful friends and go have yourself some adventure!!

Climb On!!!

"Don't be pushed by your problems; be led by your dreams." -Unknown


It would seem to be that every Friday morning that I wake up, after a Thursday climbing night, I wake up giddy. Make that giddy, exhilirated, happy and high on life.

I have a new love - indoor climbing.

Hmm, maybe I need to change the title of my blog? Indoor climbing isn't an outdoor adventure. Of course it could lead to that. My friend Lisa mentioned she could take me climbing outdoors when I get back to BC. The thought of that made me quiver in me boots when she mentioned it at Christmas. But now that I'm getting a bit more confidence in the gym - I think I just might be open to trying a very very low wall outside...

Back to being inside though. I was back at the Crux last night with the usual merry band of climbers, plus one. My friend Dave joined us as well and showed why it is a good thing to be 6'2" tall when climbing! Once again, it was a brilliant night - despite the dizzying heights, dripping sweat, swiftly beating heart, and slight nausea. Who am I kidding - that was all part of the fun!

Last night as I waited for my turn to climb I chatted with another fellow that was there. He suggested I climb the corner, because I had mentioned climbing on the side, last week, where it was open was a bit too scary for me. Turns out he climbed that side, slipped and was swinging into the stairway! Yikes. I'm sure I would have a heart attack if that were me.

I love the corner climb because I can wedge myself in nicely as I propel myself up. The corner route happens to be the neon green route. Really, one day I will have to record what the name of it is, because the names are hysterical. Anyways, I've tried this route a few times, but only manage a short way up before I just start grabbing onto whatever hold is there.

With the boost of knowing I climbed a route last week though, I decided I would not be beat by some little neon green tape! I should note here that this climb would be much easier if I had another foot of height on me. Heck, even a couple inches of height would be better. Whoever designs the routes must be a 6 footer!!

I will spare all the gory details of the climb, suffice it to say that with the exception of one hold, I made the climb following only the neon green path. To do so was a bit tricky - at one point I heard Jim yell up to me 'Well that's an interesting pose!' I had one leg bent and on a hold in front of me, the other was bent back and upwards on another hold behind me and my arms where twisted and above and behind me. You know, a photo would be worth a thousand words right now rather than trying to describe this!

I was quite happy with my climb and wanted to try the route I did last week with Stephan. Here is one thing I noticed though...when you aren't just climbing willy nilly, it's actually harder! After one climb I was already sweating and my arms could feel it. I really must work on that!

I waited my turn then Jim belayed as I started my climb on the blue route. It was ever so slightly better than last week, but I still struggled at the same point near the ledge. I managed to get onto the ledge and proceeded to do my usual of just standing there looking at the wall, rather than down at the floor to where I could plunge. I could only imagine what I must look like up there...like a kid who's gotten in trouble at school and has to stand in the corner.

As I was just about to get back to climbing, I heard Stephan yell from the other side of the gym 'Do not lower her down till she's done!!' to Jim. It was hilarious. Makes it hard to climb when you are giggling.

I was almost at the top - and stuck. Again. I had tried the move to get to the last hold, but slipped. So now I was just hanging in my harness thinking of what to try. It was then that I heard a voice from behind me asking 'Would you like a hint?' It was one of the guys I had gotten to know since I started coming here with Jim - unfortunately I don't know his name! He was taking a break from his route and literally hanging around watching my progress. He also knows I'm new at this and trying to deal with the height thing.

I said I wanted to try one more time, and then yes, I would like his help. On the next try I heaved myself upward and managed to take hold. It was a far from graceful move however! As I hung on I asked what I should have done. That's when he pointed out where my feet were and how if I had stayed more to the right I'd have better leverage and balance. I am always so grateful for the help I get here!

When we were both on terra firma, I mentioned something about my standing on the ledge staring at the wall. He said he was going to chat with me at that point, but wasn't sure if it was a good idea just in case I was freaking out! Too funny. And here I thought I looked normal?? I explained my inability to look down when I'm climbing and said next time he was welcome to talk to me - but don't expect me to turn around and look for where he is! Once again, I have reinforced the notion that I am a spazz.

I tried one more climb after that, but didn't make it very far. I have come to realize that I have to have an empty stomach when doing this. Completely the opposite to when I was training for triathlon. Funny how that works. I ate a little too late I think so during the last climb, and the one before, I felt sick to my stomach. It kind of ticked me off because I wanted to climb another route, but such is the way of life. Dave was teasing me about being all about the routes now. Oh no, they are creating a mini monster!

So for the last bit of the evening I had fun watching the dudes do their thing and being belay, then it was off to the pub for some more social time.

I have only been with this group for less than two months...but already I know how much I'm going to miss them when I move. It's a wonderful feeling to be in such a fun, encouraging environment again. Something I have missed for a while now. Hmm, maybe I can convince them all to come out to Squamish this summer for a climbing trip!! Not that I will be climbing out there, I don't think, but I would make one heck of a cheerleader!

Peace out, and climb on, my friends!

NO???

"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it." ~ Charles Swindoll

Last night I ventured out with my climbing teacher/buddy Jim to our Thursday night haunt, The Crux.

Jim and his buds have been climbing here for quite some time - I'm the newbie of the group. Allegedly there are others in the group, but it is usually just Jim, Gunter, Stephan and I. There are a cast of other characters at the gym that I'm beginning to know and say hi to as well. It's a great place to spend a Thrusday night!

Jim and I were the first ones to arrive. I let him climb first because it gives me a chance to relax and get into the climbing mode. In other words, to try and shake off any fear I have about having to climb up the 72 foot wall and possibly plunging to my death!

I noticed last week that I had less fear while I was climbing. My heart rate was fast, but not too fast. My palms were ever so slightly less sweaty - always a good thing when trying to cling for ones life on a fake rock. As well, I wasn't shaking as much. In fact, last week I made it to the top twice! A first for me.

Jim has been fantastic about sharing climbing knowledge with me in little bits so I can digest and apply them. Last week I decided to work on climbing up an actual route, rather than just climbing willy nilly up any old path. My attempt to climb a 5.8 was not successful, but I made it halfway and decided I'd try again this week.

Stephan showed up after us so when it was my time to climb he offered to be my belay. I decided I'd attempt the green 5.8 route that beat me last week. I made it halfway again when my arms just wouldn't work and I couldn't figure out how to go further. I got Stephan to lower me down.

I was then his belay as I watched him climb an amazing 5.12 or 5.13 route. As I belay I try and watch what the guys are doing, not just because I have to in order to make sure I've got the rope tight, but also to try and learn something.

Last week there were a couple of guys that were friggin Spiderman! The way they moved was so graceful, it was hard to look away. They were climbing the 5.13's as well. Both of them were actually sideways at one point, then they'd do a little shift of the shoulders and up they went to the next hold. It was wild.

I continued to attack the green route with my next climb, but again was not sucessful. Double urgh. I decided for my next climb to try another part of the wall which is in the corner. I like being here because I use the corner to help me up. Plus I feel less exposed. The green route had been on the edge of the wall so when I would let go to rest I would swing out into an open area. This got my heart a thump thump thumping again!

Finally. I made it to the top. Granted, I didn't follow a path.

Next stop, a blue route that I think was also a 5.8 or perhaps a 5.9 level. I'd been up this bit of wall several times, but I normally can't follow the blue route the whole way. Again, Stephan was my belay.

At this point my forearms were pumped and my hands were cranky. In other words, I was getting pooped. I haven't yet built a fitness for this!

I started my climb. Stephen helped point out a couple of holds that I could take so I could stay on the blue route. Part way I up I could feel I was getting tired. I kept climbing. I was starting to struggle to keep a grip on the holds, my hands were sweaty from the work. It felt like there was dough in my chalk bag even!

I was happy that I was taking some chances this time. There were a few spots where I wasn't tall enough or agile enough to reach my foot to the next hold. At one point I gingerly placed my foot on a hold that wasn't on the blue route. That's when I heard 'Ah ah!' from below. Crap. No cheating on this one. So I reached up and got a good hold with both hands, pulled myself up while running up the wall until I hit the next blue hold. This put a very big smile on my face. I was making some improvements!

I got part way up and took a break on a ledge there. It was a struggle just to get to the ledge, then when I was on there I realized I was more afraid being on it then hanging on the holds! I also realized I wasn't sure how I'd get back to the rocks. For anyone that is not afraid of heights this may seem odd. Even though I knew I couldn't 'fall' I was scared to reach over, step off the ledge and start climbing again.

I made it just a wee bit further when I asked Stephan to lower me down. I was beat. My arms were killing me, I was sweating like a beast so couldn't get a grip and I was just pooped. His response? 'No.'

So there I am, hanging around 30 feet in the air and thinking 'Seriously???' 'No????' Crap!

Had I been on the solid ground, I could have pulled a little girl hissy fit. As it were I was dangling on a wee rope refusing to look down because it freaks me out. Stephan must have known this.

His next words were, 'Come on, you can do it. Keep going.'

I had no choice. The man was not going to lower me, so there was only one way to go. Up.

I could have taken the easy way out and just climbed. I knew that I couldn't do that though. I'd already gotten heck for trying to step off the route before. He wasn't letting me down because he knew I really wanted to climb a route and stay on the route. Somehow I was going to do this. Of course I'd be mumbling curses the entire rest of the way while doing it. That was a given.

It was brutal. I'd get past a couple of holds and then get stuck. Either I couldn't figure out which way to go, or I couldn't see the hold, or my hands would slip off. My arms were killing me and I had no idea how I was going to pull this off.

I just kept going inch by inch, hold by hold. My heart was racing like I was running a 10k even though I was moving at a snail's pace. I could feel the sweat dripping off my face. Not to mention I could have really used a sip of water at that point. I think I'd breathed in too much chalk and was quite pasty mouthed. Ick.

At long last, I was only one hold away from the top. I tried to get stable footing, but couldn't. I could hold onto the second to last hold, but it was big and offered no where to grasp so I could pull myself up to the last one. I stretched and gave it a go. I slipped. I swung. I swore. I think I let out a bit of a squeak too, as I'm apt to do rather than a full out scream when I fall.

I took a deep breath. Got my footing back. Chalked my hands. Tried again.

Again I slipped off and swung back and forth. Mumble, mumble, mumble.

Stephan called from below 'You can do it! You just need to get it and hold on.' Which meant that the fact that I TOUCHED the last hold didn't count. I had to actually be hanging on to it and stable before he'd lower me. Mumble, mumble, mumble.

One more time. REACH!

I got it. I got the friggin hold! I pulled up and was stable. I let out a 'whoop!'. It was such an amazing feeling!! I couldn't believe that I had climbed a route!!! When I got back to terra firma I high fived Stephan and thanked him for not lowering me. I didn't tell him I had taken his name in vain a few times while dangling from above.

I am still on a bit of a high from that wee triumph. What a great way to spend a Thursday night! I'm sure I'll give that route another go next week and perhaps it won't take me as long?? Or maybe I won't slip as much?? Either way it will be a hoot!

Peace out my fabulous friends!

Too Hot For the HOT TUB!!!

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. ~ Redd Foxx


Last night my buddy Gareny and I decided to check out the 'new' yoga studio and it's hot hatha yoga class.

I'd been to hot yoga only once before. It was a place located in the city and it had carpeted floors. I made sure that no part of my flesh ever touched the carpet and held my breath whenever my face came near the floor. Gack.

I'm happy to report this studio was very clean and did not have a carpeted floor. (Seriously, who does that?!)

The hatha yoga is a class where you hold a series of poses, rather than do a flow like movement of them. I think I like the flow style better, but the poses in this class were definitely a good challenge.

Of course the first thing you notice when you enter the room is the heat and humidity. For some reason I think she said the room was heated to 150C...my logical brain now thinks that is an incorrect number and 150C was just how it felt in there! It took me a bit to not feel like I was suffocating.

Garn and I were in the front of the class literally looking right at the wall. There were three rows of people with only about 6 inches between our mats. Think can of sardines. Nothing like a lot of people breathing and sweating to make a classroom all cozy!

As we were discovered to be new to the class we were sent to the middle row. Not a biggie, but this meant Garn and I could be not beside each other and really, when you are taking a new class you want your friend right there with you so you can roll your eyes, make squeaky 'I'm dying' noises and whatnot. So that part did suck.

The positions we were holding were pretty challenging. Most of them I think I've done at one time or another, some I hadn't. Within about five minutes of the class sweat was dripping into my eyes, nose, mouth and on the mat. Nothing like holding some sort of inverted pose and feeling sweat slowly trickle into your nose. Ick. I bet the inventors of water torture took a hot yoga class first and thought 'AHA! I know a new torture technique we can use!'

The hardest part of the hot yoga, other than the smuthering heat, is trying to keep a grip on yourself. How the heck is one supposed to stand on one foot, bend the other knee and grab the foot or ankle then extend that leg straight out in front of you with sweaty hands and sweaty ankles?? I NEED the friction of skin gripping skin in order to do moves like that! Wait, maybe that's cheating? Still - I NEED the help!

After all the standing poses we got into the mat or seated/lying down stuff. This is where our instructor became the shivasna tease. After all the standing poses she said to lie in shivasna. My mind thought 'Ah yes, I did it. I survived hot yoga...' Unfortunately, within 30 seconds of shivasna we were to do a sit up, roll over and 'strike a pose'. Dang. More to go.

In between all of the mat poses we held shivasna. And every time she called that my mind was tricked into thinking we were done, only to find out I had another contortion to do. I was ready to yell out 'TEASE!' to her, but figured perhaps that wouldn't be the best thing in a mindful yoga class.

The worst pose, although not the hardest, was the camel. This is where you are on your bent knees but sitting straight up. Then you lean your body backwards. Apparantly this opens up the heart shakra and if you have any issues going on you will feel dizzy, or nauseaus, or like crying..

Within a second of holding this of pose I thought I was going to hurl. Wave after wave of nausea hit me. My only thought, CHILD POSE AND DO NOT CHUNDER! There is just not enough space in the class for chucking cookies!

I tried the pose again as instructed, but again, huge vomitus feelings arose, so I just stuck with child pose and repeating the mantra, 'do not puke, do not puke' oh and 'never drink chai before the class, never drink chai before the class'.

After 1.5 hours of heat, stretching, sweating, contorting and nausea we were done. I was soaked, my hair looked like a rats nest (mental note, next time put it in braids and clip braids together - pigtails are not sufficient), and I was still feeling queasy.

I sat outside the class and waited for Garn. I think my face said it all - or perhaps it was the colour of it?! Garn laughed at the sight of me. The class kicked my butt. Was I to be defeated? Heck no! I've done Ironman dang it! In the famous words of Ahnold 'I'll be back!'. Only next time I'll skip the pre-class chai tea....

A footnote to my hot yoga saga...I must have a TON of toxins in my bod because I was feeling queasy most of the night and into the morning till I ate. I also could really 'feel' the workout I got, which is a good thing. I'm hoping this will help heal the ol' glute/back issue as well.

Until next time I shall consume vast quantities of water in preparation for the challenge that is hot yoga.

Namaste my beautiful friends!

Yoga In The Pass???

"Friendship isn't a big thing. It's a million little things." ~ Unknown

This weekend I made the trip down to the Pass. Crowsnest Pass that is. It's a wee little area made up of wee little towns. One of which my friend Julie, whom I adore, lives in.

I love heading down there. Julie and I have this unspoken comfortableness between us. Considering we've only gotten to see each other a handful of times since we met, you'd think we'd known each other forever!

This visit was no different. Well, except for one thing - she is training for her two Ironman's this year, and for once, I am not training for anything. Oh the bliss that is non training...but I digress.

I had sent a note beforehand asking what her schedule was so that I could perhaps plan around it. Then I had a thought - does the Pass have a yoga studio?

This may not seem like a strange question, but you have to understand where Julie lives. Her little town has a smattering of houses, a rock slide, and a gas station. Oh, and a liquor store. Of course there is a liquore store. In Alberta, even in a town with a population of 5 there will be a liquor store!

However, the next town over, which is only a kilometer or so and only slightly bigger than Julies town, does have a yoga studio. A fact that Julie was unaware of until I questioned. So on Saturday, while Julie was busy biking, running, then biking again, I decided to take in a yoga class in the Pass.

I liked the vibe as soon as I got there. Yup, us peace, love and granola folk can be found no matter where you are - just look for the nearest health food store or yoga studio! The teacher was very welcoming. At least I knew I wasn't crashing a class!

This class was different then when I've been to before, rather than being a flow class it was one where we held several different poses. My low back/arse is STILL causing me grief so I was all for holding some poses in the hopes that it might help things back there.

Most of them I did fairly well in. There was one that was quite cool. Basically, you are on your hands (think handstand) a certain distance from the wall, but you are bent at the waist so your feet are resting on the wall. To look at the profiel of someone in this pose they would be a right angle! It was a tough one to do, but very fun. I was thankful too that my hands didn't slip so I didn't crush my noggin.

The class was an hour and a half long and I felt wonderfully zen at the end of it. When I got home Julie still had quite a bit of a workout to go so I made myself comfortable on the couch with my book. Ahhhh. Bliss. While she sweated millions of calories, I lounged in my zen state on the couch, reading and napping intermittently. It was great!

The next day I joined Julie for a swim at the pool several wee towns over. Julie had mentioned a temperature issue at this pool. Not only with the water but also with the air in the building. I was shocked when I slipped in the water...it was like being in a bath or hot spring. Gack.

Julie was already into her laps so I had no chance to look at her and say 'what the heck??' I started on my laps. Within the first 100 m I felt claustrophobic from the heat of the water. It was weird. I stopped and stood up just to cool down a bit. Then I started up again.

As soon as I tried to take the pace up a notch it felt like my insides were going to boil, so I slowed down. At one point I met Julie at the end of the pool. That's when I said 'what the heck??' Apparantly the pool water that day was 29.5C! Our pool is a cool 21C. I couldn't believe it. Julie said it was like that a lot. I swear, this is what makes her such a touch competitor in Ironman!!! Swimming in bath water, and running/biking in gall force winds! Yikes.

I only stayed in for 45 minutes - that was enough for me. I was afraid to stay in longer for fear of my skin being boiled and falling off!

It was an amazing weekend in the Pass. Friday evening I got to meet Julie's buds - Cath and Jase in Fernie, who are brilliant and have an incredible B&B, which I'm going to shamelessly plug: http://www.cinnamonbearlodge.net/, and of course there was seeing the 'kids' agian, Peanut (my furry namesake), Mandalay and Toby - Julies furry companions. Not the least of which was getting to hang with Julie for a while in between her workouts.

Because I will be moving from this fair province in a couple of months , I knew as I was saying goodbye to Julie that I may not see her for a long time. At least not till her race at the end of August in Penticton. Needless to say it took everything in me not to burst into tears as I walked out the door. I will admit though that there were a few tears as I drove away, and as I was driving home.

Oh the joy of making changes in ones life....but that's a story for another time!

Peace out my lovely friends!

CRASH!!!

'Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you.' ~ Erma Bombeck


Okay, so the other night I agreed to attend a yoga class with my friend, and merman, Garney. My back and right glute have not been pleased with me of late, so I figured a yoga class would be just the trick to try and coax my muscles out of being in a constant butt clench so I may actually be able to bend forward without letting out a cry of pain.

The class was being held here in town, a bonus, and by a friend and massage therapist, Pat. I'd heard Pat's classes were a bit challenging, but I was up for the challenge. And if not, I could always just blend into the background...

We arrived early to make sure we got parking. As we walked in Garney says to Pat 'I found this blond gal so brought her in.' I thought Pat would of course welcome the sight of me because he knows me - alas he had a rather unsure look on his face.

So he says, 'This class is full, so you may not be able to stay.' Oooooh. Well now, don't I feel like a knob. Of course I shoot a look at Garney. 'Duuuude!' So I don't lay my mat out, but rather go to the back of the class (my favourite place) and sit with Garney and another lady to see if it fills up. They both reassure me that last week it wasn't full and this week will likely be the same.

I watch as the spots dwindle...except for one. Then Pat starts talking, so I grab my mat and snatch up the last remaining spot and give thanks for not having to put head down and quietly slink out of the class embarassed.

I gave thanks too soon. The last and final particpant of the class hurried in. Which meant I had to get up and out of her spot. Again, I shot Garney a look. Or rather 'the look'. Which really meant, 'Okay, now you are in trouble buster and by the way I was the one who drove here so have fun getting home.'

Pat then says, 'Susi, why don't you come up here' and points to where I can put my mat. My thoughts, 'Oh holy hannah please no. Please do not put me in the MIDDLE of the class. I'm the BACK OF THE CLASS girl! I'm the 'make sure my butt has nothing and no one behind it but a wall' girl. I'm the 'do not want to be the centre-of-attention' girl!

So there I was, adjusting my mat in the middle of the class trying to think of how I could escape this fate. I faced east-west. On my left (north) side I had eight people facing me directly. On my right (south) side I had another eight people facing me directly. At this point I just wanted to be sucked into a vortex in the floor until the class was over.

That's when I remembered....yoga is about letting go of ego. Deep breath. Gulp. Letting go of ego now....except for the fact that I'm going to make darned sure my downward dog is the best! Heh.

We started in on the sun salutations. It didn't take long for me to forget there was anyone else in the room because the salutations were so fast my heart was beating faster and I was breathing quicker than my normal yoga breathes. Wow, this was athletic!

We went through a few iterations of that, then added on. I was actually quite pleased with my ability. I haven't done a lot of yoga lately. My back wasn't too bad at first, but towards the end it was complaining that I wasn't letting go of my ego enough and perhaps pushing myself a little too much.

I defintely let go of ego when we got into the binding poses. I just have too much flesh and muscle to wrap my arms around my legs and to the back! I did try. At least for the first few poses. Then I gave into my back aching and just did modified poses.

The class lasted about 1.5 hours. At the end of it I gathered my gear, shot Garney another look for good measure, then went to pay Pat for the torture. I mean class. It was then he said to me 'Uhm, Susi, there is a waiting list for this class. If you'd like to sign up for the next one that may work out.'

A waiting list?! Holy pete I just crashed a friggin yoga class! Ha! Boy did I feel like a nerd. Of course, I feel that way on a regular basis so really it wasn't any skin off my nose. Granted as soon as Pat said that to me I immediately blamed Garney. What are friends for, right?

So there will be no more Tuesday night classes. Likely just as well as I think those classes are a little more than what I'm looking for. I did check out the schedule for the other yoga studio we have in town (go figure - a cowboy town of 14,000 people has TWO yoga studios!) and they have a bunch of classes that I can check out. Including a hot yoga one. So that's what I'll do.

Hopefully this will heal my back/butt issues. Speaking of which, I better go stretch that area out a bit. Aummmm....

Peace out my lovely friends!

Ten Things That Make Me Happy...

"Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything, you will be happiest." ~ Sri Chinmoy


Okay so I was pseudo tagged by Keith to write ten things that make me happy. My thoughts, 'Only ten?!' Where to begin?? I think I have some top ones narrowed down though, so here they go.

In no particular order:

8. Hot chocolate with mini marshmellows on top.

2. All creatures great and small.

10. Sharing a deep belly laugh with my family and/or friends.

7. Sitting with the parental unit and having a good cuppa.

4. The feel of the warm beautiful sun on my face.

1. Being greeted with unconditional love by a furry friend (or semi-conditional love as is the case with felines).

6. Smiling Buddha.

3. Being in, on or near the ocean with all it's wonderful sights and smells.

9. Hugging a tree.

5. Smiling warmly at a stranger and seeing a light come into their eyes as they smile back.

Now I suppose with these types of lists, one must tag another. However, I think this is a good exercise for one and all to do, regardless if you write it down or not.

So...what's your on your list? What makes you happy?

Peace out my wondefully happy friends!

Soul Food...

"Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you." ~ Oscar Wilde


Balance. I am constantly striving for balance in life. Body, spirit, mind. So far I'm not doing too badly on the body and mind part. I have a set schedule of work now - important when you work from your home. And I am working out regularly - also important when you don't have a race schedule and are no longer calling yourself a triathlete.

What I have been lacking in, sadly, is the spirit part of the equation. Okay, so I practice mindfulness throughout the day. It still doesn't touch me deep in the root of my soul. Rather, it's a constant reminder that I need to go deeper...

One step I took to remedy the situation was to return to my beautiful sangha. I hadn't been going as I hadn't been in town to go, but I knew I was needing a good dose of meditation - not to mention the energy my sangha brings.

So I went. And I sat. It was heavenly. Only one problem there though...it would seem that I only sit (ie sitting meditation) when I'm with the group. Here's the silly thing - I know it brings me great peace and it feeds my soul/spirit, and yet I don't sit on my own! Why is this?? I have done it before, but I never seem to keep up the practice.

Therefore, I'm going to put this out there, I am going to bring my sitting meditation time up to 2-3 times a week. There, I wrote it so now I have to be accountable for it. This means one night with the sangha, and two more times ON MY OWN. (Gulp.) Oh, and I'll just confess right now that I though about sitting meditation a lot this week, but never managed to get it done. Hopefully the accountability thing will work. Wait, that doesn't sound too committed does it?

Anyways, the other method of feeding ones soul, at least my soul, is with yoga. It had been so long since I've been to a class that when Keith's wife, Linda, asked if I wanted to join her, I jumped at the chance. The class was held in a wonderful little space in an area that one would think least likely to find a yoga space. I was curious how this would all unfold.

Of course as soon as I walked in the room and saw all the Buddhist statues, especially Avalokiteshvara, I knew I was in the right spot.

The moves our Yogi, Helen, had us doing were exactly what I needed to work out some issues both internally and externally. It was pure heaven. I'm actually going to be going back again this Friday for a class and, mindfully, can't wait! I'm also going to try out one of the local yoga studios in my wee town this week. One of my pool mermen, Garney, mentioned the class is on Tuesday nights, so I'm going to attend this week!

There you have it. Soul food. Without it, one cannot strike a balance in life. At least I can't.

Peace out my beautiful friends.

How High Up???

"Don't be afraid to go out on a limb. That's where the fruit is." ~ H. Jackson Browne


I finally made it back into the pool last Thursday morning. It was my first swim of 2010 and I managed a solid 2000 m. Huh. In hindsight I should have swum 2010 m!

The best part of going to the pool is seeing my fellow mermen and mermaids there. It was so good seeing the gang there. It's funny because even though it can seem like a bit of a social event, having a little chat or laugh here and there, they actually push me to swim better. Just knowing Sue is at my feet or Garney is pushing off at the same time in the next lane, or Chris is checking to see if Sue and I are chatting rather than swimming! That keeps me going and trying to improve.

I can't express how much I'm going to miss them when I move back to BC. Maybe I can pack them all up and take them with me?!

The evening held other adventures with me...this time on land. Sort of.

I had mentioned to my fellow search and rescue (SAR) buddy, Jim, that I was hoping to do more indoor climbing this year as a way to face my fear of heights. I've been only twice before - the last time in October.

He has been climbing for years so offered to have me join him and his group on Thursdays. They climb at The Crux in Calgary. I'd never been to the Crux so I looked it up on the internet to see what it was like.

Oh, look at that....the Crux's claim to fame being one of the tallest climbing gyms in North America. Exactly how high up is one of the tallest climbing gyms?? It didn't take me long to find that information. Holy hannah, it has 72 ft tall walls!! Gulp.... This could be interesting.

Jim and I carpooled to the gym and I mentioned again my fear of heights but my enthusiasm for learning how to climb. He was undaunted and enthusiastic. Just wait till we get to the gym I thought!

We got there, I signed my life away and got ready for the belay test. For anyone who hasn't climbed indoors before, the belay test is essentially where the gym tests the fact that you know how to hold on to the rope that your partner is dangling from and that even if they fall you WILL NOT LET GO! Oh, and also it tests that you know how to tie yourself in using a figure eight knot that won't undo while you are dangling from a 'make my cry' height.

Before Sean, my tester, came by, Jim showed me the gym. This is what it looks like from the ground...
My knees started to shake and I wasn't even off the ground yet!

It was test time. I tied my knot fine. Then it was time for Jim to start climbing as I belayed. (Note: they make your buddy do the climbing so you REALLY won't want them to fall and hate you forever!) He started climbing and Sean said 'Ok let go of the rocks' to Jim. He was good enough to do this while Jim wasn't too far off the ground.

Jim let go. But I held on and he didn't fall.

Then Sean instructed Jim to start climbing again and to let go 'whenever'. The bigger test. Making sure you don't let go of the rope and drop your partner if he/she takes a slip.

Jim can climb pretty fast. I was watching like a hawk waiting for him to 'fall'. He was up a fair distance when vwoop! He let go. Next thing I knew my feet weren't touching the ground and I was sailing through the air towards the wall! Aiyeeee! I stopped myself from hitting the wall by putting my legs straight out and hitting it with my feet. You'll be happy to know, as Jim was, that I never go of the rope through all of this. Even though I couldn't touch the mats. Phew.

I even had to lower Jim while I was hanging around. Both of us made it to the mats safe and sound though. Honestly, it was a good thing to have happen so I know what it feels like. Just a side note; they have tethers in the floor so you can attach yourself in order to prevent that from happening when you are belaying someone heavier than you.

I passed the test so now it was my turn to climb. I started climbing but almost from the start my heart was pounding and my hands were sweaty. I made it maybe half way and I asked Jim to lower me. I had to get a grip on my fear! When I got down to terra firma I apologized for being such a wuss. Jim said not to worry and asked if he could give me a couple of pointers that help me. Of course I accepted!

We moved over to another spot in the gym so Jim could climb. Then it was my turn again. This time armed with my tips I had a much better climb. I was still shaking a bit and had to stop at one point to get my breathing under control. I started climbing and was near the top when I slipped. It still amazes me that I slipped because normally I'm clinging to the rocks.

I gotta say, I have no idea how guys climb. You see when I slipped, my harness hiked up nice and close on me. Not a big deal for me because I have girl junk. And girl junk can handle some squishing. Guy junk though? How is it they fall and get squished and don't let out a blood curtling scream is beyond me. I mean that harness was SNUG people. And that's all I'll say about I that.

Now here is something I am most proud of. I didn't scream when I fell! Granted I did emit a rather loud EEP! which Jim claims he heard aprproximately 65 ft below. Still though, it was not a scream! I kept climbing and I managed to climb almost to the top! My arms were tired though and I couldn't find a good foot hold so asked to be lowered. Dang, I was only one rock away!!

The next time up Jim suggested I let go and 'hang around' a bit to give my arms a break. Riiiight. LET GO?! I knew it would help though. So I tried again and when I got tired I yelled 'take' and then let go. I thought for sure my heart was going to pump right out of my chest. I could hear Jim saying 'okay, now shake your arms a bit!' ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS MAN?? So I shook them. Kind of. Then I grabbed hold of the rocks. Then let go and shook again. And I didn't die. Always a good thing.

I am still not sure how I managed all this without fainiting, but I did. I never did make it to the top - I tried hard though! I need to build some strength up I think. I was close twice though and to me that counts. Plus, it gives me something to strive for.

The gang meets every Monday and Thursday. I can't go on Mondays, but I will be going on Thursdays. At some point I will make it to the top! Then maybe I can try climbing just the taped rocks!

By comparison the rest of the weekend was rather tame. I managed a solid set of legs and back (P90X) and the rest of the time I spent in a First Aid course. So other than the fact that I had various body parts in splints, there are no other adventures to report.

Peace out my friends.