It was -32C with the windchill tonight....and tomorrow is supposed to be even colder...so I was forced inside and on the treadmill tonight. Blech. haha. Actually, tomorrow is supposed to be my run day, but I have a million and one errands and appointments, so I figured I'd get my run in tonight - the cold was just an extra motivator.
I had the tunes cranked and was doing my thing when my stupid guts kicked in. Sigh. The pain was growing and I thought to myself, ok, just get to the half hour mark. At the same time, frustration started to seep in. I didn't want to stop running, but I hurt. So I made a deal, I would get to the half hour mark, then I would walk for a few minutes, and if I had to, I'd stop.
As I started walking, the frustration I felt started to turn into worry. Shite. What if what happened last year at IMC with my guts happens this year at IMCDA?! Dammit!! I don't WANT to have it happen again. How am I going to deal with it?? Crap! AAARRRRGGGHHH!!!
At the 0:35 minute mark the anger set in and took over any worry I was feeling. F*** this!! I'm not going to let this stop me. I'm going to run dammit. So I started to run, but slowly at first. Then my favourite 'go kick some ass' song came on. Eminem's 'Lose Yourself'. It was at that point I increased my pace. No, I'm not going to let myself worry about all the 'what if's' of the race. No, I'm not going to give up if my guts bug me. I will decrease my intensity, but I sure as hell am not going to give up! What I am going to do though, is I will make sure I get on my mental game - NOW.
Last year about this time I started working on my mental game. And let me tell you, it got me through many races, especially the big one when things started going all pear shaped. It's time to get back into it because you know what?? Triathlon - it's 80% mental baby. I'm soooo not exaggerating. I don't give a damn how physically fit you are, but when you are tired, and not sure how you are going to make it...it's not your physcial ability that gets you through the day. Nope. It's your mental attitude. You need to know how you will answer yourself when your mind asks 'Why are we doing this???'. You need to know what tricks you will play to stay positive when you are tired and you hurt and you want to take a nap in the ditch!
This is why I had to keep running. Why I couldn't just turn off the damn treadmill (which I absolutely loathe I might add) and say, my tummy hurts so I'm going to stop now. I had to work through the pain. So I did. I managed to run for an hour and I have to say I'm super stoked that I did. I'll admit it though, even with all this mental training....I really, really hope that I don't have to deal with my guts on that day!! LOL.
Okay. Enough of all the 'deep' postings. I really hope I can get outside and train soon cause all this indoor shite is making me too serious. LOL. I need some wacky adventure to occur!!! I NEED HUMOUR!! Too bad I didn't catch my shoelace in the treadmill or something. Now THAT would have been funny. You'd hear a 'yelp!' then a 'thud!', some sort of rock rolling down a hill sound....then absolute laughter! I guarantee it!!
lol...I know when you fall apart it is the most frustrating part - when the doubt creeps in and you have to battle it out in your mind. Like I said, even in your toughest time at IMC - there was a fire in your eyes ...let frustration, anger, fear, drive be what makes your mental game an adventure and do NOT let adversity be your crypotnite baby. And keep your fricking shoelaces OUT OF the treadmill!!
ReplyDeleteand i was thinking on my 2 hour run on the tready staring at the kids channel someone left on when they left me there to suffer alone ....Isn't that what makes you and Irongurl? The fact that DESPITE your issues on the course that day - YOU NEVER GAVE UP - and PLENTY in your shoes would. Yeah...so there. It took me two hours to come up with that one. The product of a slow HR run :)
ReplyDeletelove ya babe!! thank you. and i'm sorry someone made you watch a kids channel for two hours...."shiver" haha. THAT is going to make you have iron mental strength girlie!!
ReplyDeletelol..yeah after a while i began fantisizing about the Wiggles ....if you don;t know who they are - please google them and you will understand the nature of my day :)
ReplyDeleteI KNOW THE WIGGLES!!! A little 'PG' Australian eye candy for all the Mums out there, haha.
ReplyDeleteBetter than Barney I guess...although Barney is purple...hmmmm