Saturday 21 June 2008

The Power of Now…

Today didn’t start off as well as the others. I’d been battling gastrointestinal issues (GI) since Thursday. I am not sure if it's from whatever got me earlier this week, or if it was pre-race anxiety. I am excited and, I thought, calm about the race so I really don't know what's going on. I was doing my best not to let the discomfort get to me, but this morning I finally broke down.

I had gone to bed early last night because my GI tract was really hurting, so I wasn’t there when Leslie, Teresa and Michaela arrived. When I got up this morning I was a little worse for wear. I saw Leslie, we hugged, and then I broke down in tears.

Leslie and I then went into my room for a wee chit chat.

I told her that I’d been hurting for the last two days. I was trying not to let it get to me, that I was repeating my health mantra, but now I was getting scared and I didn’t know what to do. I told her that I wanted this years race to be different from last years race and I thought I had gotten my GI issues under some control. I wasn’t worried about the race and I was excited because the course was so beautiful. I knew I was going to enjoy being out there.
That’s when she repeated back to me what I had said.

Before I go on about what she said next, I should explain something. Leslie is one of, what I would call, my spiritual guides. I’m not religious, but I do believe in the Universe, Mother Nature and the power of being in the present moment. Leslie, started me on this journey of living in the present when I first met her three and a half years ago. My other guide is Cathy, my life coach. Both have been instrumental in helping me stay focused on the present moment this year, which has helped me enormously with my triathlon training and getting me to the start line.

Leslie heard what I was saying then said to me, ‘I hear how excited you are about the course, how beautiful it is here and how you are looking forward to it. But I also heard you say you wanted this year to be totally different. Remember the Zen saying that to want or to desire is to suffer.’ At this point a big ‘aha!’ happened in my brain. She went on to point out that I had used the word ‘wanted’, so I had already decided what was going to happen tomorrow. Ugh! I totally did.

For a moment I had lost track of all that I have been learning and studying! I had sprung into the future rather than staying in the present. Rats! Not that losing track is a bad thing, after all, when learning something new there is a tendency to forget sometimes. Right away I gave thanks for Leslie arriving just when she did. Although I know it was no coincidence – there are no coincidences in life, everything just happens when it’s supposed to. I’m lucky that Leslie has been there for me right when I needed her every since we met.

I’d like to say that my GI issues went away at this moment, but they didn’t. However, my feeling of fear did. Tomorrow is tomorrow. What is going to happen, will happen and there is nothing I can do to stop it. There is something I can do though – I can do my best in the race. As for today, I can do what I need to, to prepare and spend time with my family and friends.

Shortly after our talk I went to get my race checklist so I could start bagging up my transition and special needs bags. I came across a sheet that I had printed off with a saying that Jenna had shared with me. It said, ‘When I do the best I can with what I have, then I have won my race.’

So that’s what I’ll be doing tomorrow – my absolute best with what I have.

Peace out my friends!

18 comments:

  1. It is 6:41am on Sunday morning, and I am thinking about you Susi!!! Go get 'em tiger!!!!! :) :):) :)

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  2. OK, I have appointed myself the official Susi-updater!

    It appears the waves on the swim were up to 2 feet and skittish age-groupers have been given the choice of doing a duathlon instead.

    Looks like our brave little Susi has decided to forge ahead: Her swim time was 1:35:31 -- with a 2:30/100m pace.
    T1: 7:28

    Go Susi go!!!! I keep checking to see when her first bike split will be posted!!

    #2060 is a Ninja-Warrior-Princess!!! LOL!!

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  3. The power of now, Susi!! :) :)

    Her first bike split: 2:15:26 avg. 15.06mph!! Yay Susi!!!!!!

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  4. I must say that I"ve been disappointed with the video coverage. More like traffic cam coverage.

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  5. No kidding, eh Keith -- absolutely terrible!!!

    Just came in from my long run -- had to check and yes! Susi's next split is up: 56 miles -- 3:41:13 -- avg speed 15.19 mph -- She's speeding up!!! Go Susi go! I was channeling positive energy and a tailwind to you on my run! :) :)

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  6. brave susi!!!!!!! Go susi!!!!!!! Your doing great! Has anyone else noticed how she listed her occupation? She cracks me up! I am so PROUD of her! What a swim that would have been!

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  7. Yeah, I wonder if they'll announce her occupation when she crosses the finish line!! LOL!!

    Last bike split -- Susi was steady like a rock!! 22 mile: 1:27:26 avg. speed 15.10 mph. Total bike time: 7:24:05!! T2: 7:01 And she's off running -- keep at it Susi!! We are all rooting for you, girl!!!

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  8. steady and consistent .... Go sushi!!!! I mean Susi....

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  9. Run Susi!!! RUN!!!!!

    And the video is crap.

    But KEEP RUNNING!!!

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  10. oh how i wish they did 10k splits on the run so we knew where she was..... Susi, when u hit the line.... Focus and you'll feel all our good vibes....go Sista!!!!!!

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  11. I know -- it's not fair that we have to wait until she's actually done the whole marathon -- they don't even have a half-way point!

    Keep at it Susi!! Run, girl, run!! :) :)

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  12. GSG!!!
    Thinking of you at 13 hrs, and having a whole new respect for all these ironpeople. Hope that your more than half done the run, and going strong.

    I get the audio feed ok, but the video spends most of the time frozen. Very frustrating. I'm not happy that the odds of actually seeing you cross are very small.

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  13. Go Susi..... you're looking strong!!! You are feeling great!! You are taking it as it comes and doinga stellar job out there!!!

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  14. Yeah susi!! they announced your JOB..lmao - looking great!! YOu rocked it!! OMG - I can;t stand not being there!!! OMG OMG OMG!!!
    WHOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!!

    Keith and Daryl and I all saw you toether while we were on msn!!!!! Whoo ho!!!!!!!

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  15. YOU THE CHAMP!!! Just over 15 hours, and still smiling! And they mentioned your profession, how cool is that!

    I'm so happy for you.

    WAY TO GO SUSI

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  16. the kids were waching with me too!! Every girl they asked is that Susi??lol
    :)

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  17. GOOD JOB SUSI the JD quality control tester!!! 15:05 I believe.

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  18. CONGRATULATIONS SUSI!!!!!! What a race -- you did so awesome!!:) :) :) :)

    Now -- GO GET SOME SUSHI!!!!!

    :) :) :):)

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