Wednesday, 4 March 2009

Karate Chop Swim...

As is usual early on Wednesday mornings I was to be found at our local pool merrily swimming away in a state of bliss...

Okay, not every swim is like that but I like to think I put some sort of intention out there that that is how my swim is going to be.

Today kinda wasn't quite like that. First off I had no more punches in my punch card. Rats. Oh well, I'd buy a pass later and put the punch in there. I am not one to rip off my local pool - bad karma. Unfortunately though they don't seem to have anyone at the front to do this in the mornings - they go by the honour system. Ah yes, the sweetness of living in a small town.

As I walked by the front counter I turned to see one of the lifeguards, who was in the pool area, watching me. Hmmm...

I got my gear going and walked out onto the deck. The lifeguard who had watched me walked in came up to me to make a little bit of small talk. Then she got to the point - 'Did you punch your card when you walked in?' I was totally honest and said no because it ran out, but if someone will be there when I leave, I will purchase a new one. Smiling. Showing all teeth now. I SWEAR I DON'T STEAL LANE SWIM TIME! I'M A GOOD GIRL! I don't think she believed me.

She said no problem and to let her know when I left...let me just say I wouldn't have to let her know because she never took her eyes off me the entire swim. It was a tad bit unnerving! On the positive side, had I suffered a cramp and was slowly sinking to the bottom of the pool, I know someone would have been watching and could have saved me!

So do I even need to say who I shared a lane with today? All together now "THE SIDE STROKER!"

I think she hates me because I'm friends with Andrew and Andrew tried to run her over. I so had nothing to do with that either. Well, I did ask if he'd ask her if she'd swim counterclockwise but apparantly he heard me say 'go run her over and see if she moves'. Every time I see her I smile and say hello but she ignores me. Or perhaps she's deaf? Ya, maybe that's it. She isn't ignoring me, she's just deaf and doesn't realize I know rudimentry sign language...maybe next time I'll sign 'hi!'.

I was going to attempt some timed 50's and 100's today. I started off with an easy 400 m swim, then 100 m of kicking. Then I did 4 x 50 m at a 1:05 send off. I hadn't done these in a while, so wasn't quite sure what to expect. I finished off the first one and thought, 'Hey, that wasn't too bad'. Obviously I haven't done these in a while if I was thinking that after the first one. Duh, of course it's not bad - it's the first one!

Anyways I got through the four sets with minimal issues. Then it was on to the 100's. I was going to do 10 sets of them. As I'm still fighting a bit of an energy thing I decided to give myself a break and go on 2:15. I am pleased to say that I finished all of them under 2 minutes so had a pretty good break after. I also now know that the next time I do these I'm going to have to bump up the time or I'm not going to get any faster.

Again, no real issues...but one. I was doing my thing when the Side Stroker switched to freestyle. Let me just say it was very free. She almost decked me in the water as we passed. I'll admit I got a little teeny weeny bit pissy at that. I mean come on, how many times do we have to swim together before you realize your side of the lane is your side (cause you refuse to swim counterclockwise like it states you are supposed to on at least TWO signs in the pool) and my side is my side.

I started thinking that if she hit me I would have no choice but to hiya karate chop her in the pool. Let's see who's hogging the lane then shall we! Then I remembered I was being watched by the lifeguard...Rats. Well, there's that and there is the small fact that I'm a peace, love and granola girl who would rather wish someone peace then hiya karate chop them. However, that doesn't mean I can't daydream it while swimming...

I've come to realize her routine now and was ever so thankful to see her flip onto her back and start kicking. That means she's done. Yay! Aurevoir! Sayonara! Ciao! Good morning, good afternoon and if I don't see ya later, good night!

I finished of my set of 100s and felt pretty good. All of them were under 2 minutes, but that could be partly due to the fact I had long rests. It'll give me something to work on in future.

Oh, and I did pay to get my new punch card and I made sure to punch a hole in it for that swim! Let the good karma rain down on me.

Peace out my friends.


  1. I think you'll get more karma if you karate chop the side stroker right in the kidneys. After all, you're helping them learn pool etiquette. I find providing feedback to others to help them learn can be very morally satisfying.

  2. WTF is up with that lifeguard...its not like you are new to the pool or anything.

    I second Keith's KCK (Karate Chop a'la Kidney). What is wrong with people like her? I don't get it...unfortunately, she is not the only one like that...wake up people, its called awareness...for your surroundings and the people in it around you!!!

  3. all it takes is one powerful swing with a sharp edged shovel and you can take a few down at once while the metal meets skull and the sound of *ting* is followed by silence... is that bad for my karma?

  4. Sue,s Auntie says just swim underneath her. She might not like it & smarten up.

  5. I have learned that the only way to correct someone is corporal punishment!!! Chop away!!

  6. Ohmigosh Susi, your pool swims/encounters are never dull! I hate when people don't follow the rules! Why doesn't the sidestroker circle swim? And, since she doesn't, she needs to stay on her side of the lane. Ugh, that is a pet peeve, for sure.

    And the lifeguard watching you the whole time! I'm glad you got through it.

  7. These encounters are going to make you stronger -- when you are fighting your way amongst all those mass swim starts, you are going to THANK the Cochrane lane hog for toughening you up!! Hahahahaha -- you are going to have MUCHO advantage!!!! :) :) :)