Me Arse Is Broken!!!

I'm not sure how it happened...or why...but it appears I have a broken arse. In other words, it's not working. Let it be known, though, that I can still shake it like Shakira only wishes she could!

As has been written before, I was experiencing hip pain, again. This has been an ongoing issue with me and in the last, oh I don't know, FOUR or more years and no one has been able to help me. It just seems to fade away, then appear again.

The pain is weird. It feels like it's tucked up under my right buttock and in the vicinity of my hip joint. I've even had x-rays taken because there was talk that it may be degeneration - gasp. Thankfully, there was no evidence of that.

I've been in many triathlons and by the time the season arrives the pain seems to subside. However, almost every year that I've run the Policeman's Half Marathon, which is usually the first race of the season held in late April, I've either just gotten over the pain or this race flairs it up. It's been frustrating to say the least.

This year has been no exception. I've been battling the pain for the last couple of months, trying to acknowledge it by doing more biking and less running in addition to stretching, strenghening etc. It's not letting go though. With the race a month away I was starting to get antsy.

On Sunday I had had it! We got yet another snowstorm, sigh, and I had this nagging pain in my right butt cheek. Something new, but I figured it was all tied into the hip issue. I decided I could not bring myself to sit inside on the trainer for 2.5 hours. I'll admit it, I was in a grumpy mood. No, scratch that, I was in a grumpy pouty mood. I decided fine, if my hip/butt was going to be all bitchy then I wouldn't ride (which I figured wouldn't help) but instead I would do a ton of strength exercises in the hopes that that would fix things up because in the past weight lifting has helped. Riiiight...

I got out the P90X 'legs and back' DVD and turned it on. I made sure I selected 'no music and cues' then cranked the radio. Time to rock.

Who knew that this workout consisted of a million lunges and many minutes of holding oneself in the squat position along the wall??? Side lunges, angle lunges, frong lunges, back lunges, and toe lunges. Jayzus! My legs were shaking by the end of it and begging for no more. After that hour of fun I flipped in the chest, sholders and triceps DVD and inflicted more pain. Exactly how many different types of pushups are there?!

By the end of it I had a bit of a hard time lifting my arms and my legs were like jello. Emotionally I felt better. Physically I felt tired but good...for the meantime anyways. Take that hip!

The next day I woke up and the first thought that went through my mind as I tried to get out of bed was 'Oh, shite, what did I do??' I should likely mention that I've been weight training since I was sixteen...which is many many many moons ago. Therefore, I should know what happens when you haven't been weight lifting for several months and you do almost two hours of it...

The really exciting thing was that I had an appointment with my physio that morning! I was desperate to get help with my arse/hip not to mention the muscle knot in my shoulder that was preventing me from looking to the right. Boy was I ever feeling very old that morning...

After explaining what was going on, Janice, my physio, started doing an assessment of my hip area and asked a million questions. Then she started doing some strength tests...and that's when it happened...

She'd asked me to lie on my stomach and bend my right knee 90 degrees so that the flat of my foot was parallel to the ceiling. I did as asked. She then instructed me to raise my foot to the ceiling. Grunt. Heave. Ooomph. Nothing. For the life of me I could not do this task. I tried again. Janice had a shocked look on her face. Then I tried the left side. Again. Nothing. What the hell? Was I supposed to be able to do this or was this a trick?? (I can only imagine how many of you are now lying on the floor trying this test now...)

That's when she admitted her shock. "Huh. Your glutes aren't firing. They aren't working for some reason" What??? I have a broken arse?? How can that be? I run. A lot. I bike. A lot! How the heck have I propelled myself through countless races and exactly which muscles were compensating?! How do we fix this and more to the point, can we fix this so I can run the race at the end of next month??? PLEASE HELP ME!!!

The next hour was spent with Janice trying to get rid of the muscle knots in both my butt and back. I really could have used a leather strap to bite on...instead I tried desperately to keep breathing. Boy was I glad I killed all my muscles the day before!!! Not.

I was also given several exercises that I was to complete 3 times per day for the next week...I'd get more when I see her next week. Gulp. Oh, and stretches. Lots and lots of stretches. She wanted me to start the exercises that day but my body was in shock. I actually had a headache and later on the urge to chunder was faintly present. Likely this was from all the toxins that had been released.

As for today, three words...'Second Day Pain'. I really wish I had a walker. Seriously. I could use it to get in and out of my chair. And why don't I have those cushiony toilet seats?? Do you know how hard the plastic ones are on a tender toosh?!! YEOW! If I had cable I'd search for the infomercial about the chair that glides you up the stairs so you don't have to walk up them and order one!

All that aside, I sucked it up and did the exercises and stretches Janice gave me. I think they are actually helping ease the pain. Or perhaps that was the Tylenol that I took...something I rarely do for this kind of pain.

On the plus side we have a possible cause for the hip pain and if I keep working on strengthening the muscles perhaps I will be able to run faster and jump tall buildings this race season! YaY!

Yup, this baby still got back. Shake it, you won't break it!!!

Peace out my friends!